


Cadences

by shandyall



Series: The Symphony Verse [6]
Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-12
Updated: 2013-07-16
Packaged: 2017-12-11 15:46:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 36
Words: 86,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/800411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shandyall/pseuds/shandyall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life doesn’t get much better than when you get to spend it with your favorite fella. Follow the boys as they navigate from young love to newlyweds to fatherhood and beyond.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, mad props to my betas, Becca and Kerry. Second of all, drabble #20 (aka The Bathtub Hand Job, available via the masterpost on my tumblr) happens prior to this chapter. Have a looksee if you haven’t already. Third of all, keep an eye on the dates at the top of each chapter. This story starts right after Staccatos ends, and goes in chronological order, but time speeds up as we go. Fourth of all, this is the beginning of the end my friends, so thanks for sticking with it.

_July, 2017_

“How’s the ice feel?” Kurt asks, poking his head into the bedroom.

“Good, it’s helping,” Blaine tells him.

Kurt smiles and then walks away. Blaine hears him in the bathroom, brushing his teeth, probably doing his usual complicated skin routine. Blaine smiles as he hobbles into the kitchen to get rid of the ice pack Kurt made him put on the hamstring he pulled while pushing their new couch all over the living room.

He’s settled back on their bed, flipping through a magazine when Kurt enters their bedroom.

“Do you ever think about your funeral?” Blaine asks.

“Oh, come on, poop. I just gave you a wonderful bathtub handjob, the least you can do is cuddle me until we pass out,” Kurt says as he sits on the bed next to Blaine.

Blaine gives him a meaningful look as he tosses the magazine on the floor. They still need to get a table for his side of the bed.

“I’m ssss-serious. I just feel like, be-be-because we moved in together, I don’t know. I’ve never told anyone any of my wishes. Not that I think about it all, all, all the time or anything,” Blaine is quick to add. “But it’s something I www-would wah-want to tell you. So sssss-someone knows. And like …” Blaine pauses and shrugs. “I don’t know. It’s dumb. You’re right. I’m sorry.”

Blaine’s cheeks have darkened, and now Kurt feels a little bad. Even after all these years, Blaine takes any kind of … rejection so to heart. And this isn’t even rejection from Kurt; this is merely exhaustion after a long day.

“It’s not dumb, poop,” Kurt sighs. “It’s been a very long day. Not really a great time for a ‘big talk.’” Kurt adds finger quotes.

Kurt turns off the bedside lamp, and they roll towards each other, nose to nose in the dark. Blaine finds Kurt’s hand and squeezes it.

“I know.” Blaine shakes his head, trying to clear it. “I guess sometimes I, I, I rrrrr-remember that we’re going to get old someday.”

“We are,” Kurt agrees.

“Or maybe ssss-sick buh, before we’re old.”

“That could happen. I’m very much aware that those things can happen.”

Blaine brings Kurt’s hand to his mouth and kisses his knuckles. “Do me one favor?” Blaine asks.

“Of course,” Kurt answers.

“Don’t waste a lot of mmmm-money on my funeral.”

Kurt’s jaw drops. “No way. No way. First of all, giving you a nice funeral wouldn’t be a waste of money. And second of all, I’m totally dying before you anyway. Like statistically.”

“Nope. If I’m like 75% of my grandparents I’m going to die of cancer within ssss-several years b-before or after my 70th birthday.”

“Well, half of my parents died before their 35th birthday.”

Blaine nods solemnly. “This is why it’s not the w-w-w-worst idea to talk about it.”

“Okay,” Kurt says. He pulls in a deep breath. “I don’t have great life insurance, but I figure that should improve over the next couple years. I mean, I’ve only been working full time for like 13 months. So, don’t worry too much about buying me a fabulous coffin or anything. Um, what else. Don’t let Rachel sing at my funeral.”

Blaine makes a face. Kurt should know Blaine doesn’t have the wherewithal to stop Rachel from doing anything once she sets her mind to it.

“Okay, fine. She can sing at my funeral. But not The Wind Beneath My Wings or anything like that.”

“Do you have a preferred ssss-song, or, or, or … should I just guess when the time comes?”

“You can guess if need be. I suppose the song will change over time. I'm not sure what it is at the moment.”

Blaine nods, and strokes his fingers through Kurt’s hair.

“Okay, now you,” Kurt prompts.

“Hmm. Well, I wasn’t joking. Don’t ssss-pend money on my funeral. Cremate me.”

“Keep you on the mantle?” Kurt asks with a grin.

“Oh, please dah-don’t. That’s terrible. Really awful.”

“It is.”

“And find some young, hot sssss-tallion to take my place and to, to, to, to help you forget.”

Kurt leans in to kiss Blaine. “You’re not allowed to die,” he says into his lips.

“Neither are you.”

“Good. I’m glad we’re agreed.”

Despite the sad topic, the boys drift off with smiles on their faces.

~~~~~

Blaine takes a deep breath, his mind just waking up. He keeps his eyes closed for a few more seconds and breathes out. He lets his thoughts drift a bit, and they catch on the edge of the dream he was having before he surfaced.

And he smiles.

Not because of the dream, but because it’s the first morning of waking up with Kurt in their first apartment.

Kurt.

“What,” Kurt murmurs into his pillow.

Blaine rolls towards Kurt. “I didn’t realize I said it out loud,” he whispers, running his fingers along Kurt’s bicep.

“Go back to sleep Blaine.”

“Okay,” Blaine agrees, squeezing his eyes shut.

“That was easier than I expected,” Kurt says, as they snuggle in closer and fall back to sleep.

They’re woken up again about 45 minutes later.

“I think a monster is chewing the sidewalk,” Kurt mutters.

“What the hell is that noise?” Blaine groans at almost the same time.

Blaine rolls onto his back and stretches, flexing and testing his hamstring. It feels pretty okay.

Kurt perches his chin on Blaine’s chest and twines their fingers together.

“Hi,” Kurt says.

“Hi,” Blaine answers.

They’ve woken up together hundreds of times; obviously this isn’t really a novelty. But yet it is. The first morning in their first apartment. They both can feel it, the thrum of excitement because they’re really starting their life together.

Or that might be the vibrations from the jackhammer below. Either way.

Blaine takes his free hand to smooth down Kurt’s bed head.

“How’s your thumb?” he asks.

Kurt wiggles it. “Absolutely fine. How about your leg?”

“Not gonna lie, it’s a, a, a, a little s-s-s-sore.”

Kurt pouts.

“Buh-buh-ut I’ll live. And most of the heavy lifting is dah-dah-d-d-done. Today’s mmmm-more about sorting, and placing, and, and, and, uh, organizing.”

“And food shopping.”

“Yes. It would definitely feel mmm-more like home if we had some food.”

“Are we done with the creepy death talk from last night?”

“Oh! Oh man. I had the weirdest fucking dah-dah-drah-eam,” Blaine groans, digging the heels of his hands into his eyes.

“That weird, huh?” Kurt asks. He trails a finger down Blaine’s chest.

“So weird. We were living in an, an, an old age community, and we were like 90 sss-something.”

“Was it a nice old age community?”

“I guess? Lots of pastels.”

“Pastels don’t necessarily mean nice,” Kurt reminds him. “Most often they’re just insipid.”

“Insipid is such a great www-word.”

Kurt can’t help but laugh at that. “You’ve taught me well. So. Pastels.”

“Oh yeah. It was Florida. And an old folks home. So, the pastels come www-with the territory. And the color scheme isn’t the point. We were pah-part of some kind of, of, of like old age suicide pact.”

“That sounds depressing,” Kurt says.

“It was. And it wasn’t. It was sweet, in a morbid sort of way. Like no one w-w-wah-wanted to leave each other bah-bah-hind.”

“I’m not going to leave you behind.”

“Exactly, that’s the b-br-br-brilliance of a geriatric suicide pact. Our dream selves are geniuses.”

“I think you might be insane from your hamstring injury.”

Blaine makes a so-so gesture with his hand. “You should probably mmmm-massage it.”

“I’m like 900% sure that I’m the one that deserves a massage right now.”

“Yeah, but you want a cock massage and I-I-I want, and also medically might need, a therapeutic mmmmm-massage. I’m pretty sure I win.”

“I never said one word about a cock massage. You brought it up,” Kurt says, getting out of bed.

“I could bah-bah-ring it up,” Blaine replies wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

“I like it when you think you’re a porn star.”

“I could be a porn sssss-tar,” Blaine tells him, again wiggling his eyebrows.

Kurt gives him a withering look filled with fond exasperation.

Blaine stands, wincing a bit on his sore leg. He turns around to look at Kurt, grinning. “If I ever b-b-b-become a porn star, I’m going to have to rrrrrr-re-re-member to stretch.”

Kurt looks at him sympathetically and nods.

Blaine takes a tentative step. “Oh, god, it hurts right up into my b-b-buh-butt.”

“Stop it with your sexy talk,” Kurt says.

“Stop teasing me,” Blaine retorts, hopping around the bed. “You know you could help me, you could be more ssss-sympathetic.”

“You’re the one who said he could move the couch all by himself.”

Kurt turns to leave the bedroom, and Blaine follows him out into the kitchen, his leg feeling better as he walks off the soreness in his muscles. Or at least, that’s what he tells himself to make sure his gait is as normal as possible so Kurt won’t force him to go get it checked out.

“I don’t know why you believed me.” Blaine stands in front of Kurt with a small smile on his face.

Kurt picks up Blaine’s arm and holds it limply. “Well, I mean, look at this bicep. This is the kind of bicep that could do … almost anything. The world is your oyster when you have a bicep like this.”

“Now you’re teasing again. And that’s nnnn-not fair, I-I-I wasn’t flexing.” Blaine flexes.

“I think you’re getting soft. You turned 23 and you’ve lost all of your youthful vigor.” Kurt pokes at Blaine’s pec, while Blaine tries valiantly to give his chest some definition.

Blaine shrugs when he realizes it’s an impossible dream and then leans against the kitchen counter as Kurt starts to make coffee. “I figure I’ll rrrr-retire soon.”

“Good idea. Retire before you even start a real job.”

“I think it’s a, a, a fantastic idea.”

Kurt turns after finishing messing around with the coffee maker, his face serious. “Really is your leg and/or butt okay?”

“It’s fine, it’s feeling b-b-b-better already.”

“Let me see it.”

Blaine gives him a questioning look.

“It might be bruised or something, let me look at it.”

Blaine turns, lifting the hem of his boxers. Kurt kneels down to get a better look and runs his hand over Blaine’s leg. “Is this the leg you broke when you were a kid?”

Blaine has to think about that for a full minute. “Yes. No. Yes? I didn’t know mmmm-my right from my left then. So, um. Maybe?”

Kurt laughs. “But you know you’re right from your left now.”

“I do. I-I-I think this was it, but it was mmm-much lower than this pulled mmm-muscle.”

“Well, yeah, but I was just inquiring. Not saying one had anything to do with the other,” Kurt says, then he leans over and kisses the back of Blaine’s thigh.

When he stands up, and Blaine turns around, Kurt makes a show of pretending to spit hair out of his mouth. “Stupid hirsute guy thigh,” he mutters.

Blaine cackles. “Hirsute and insipid in one mmm-morning. This is amazing.”

They kiss until the coffee pot overflows, and Blaine gets a charlie horse.

“So, now what?” Kurt asks after he finishes mopping up the coffee.

Blaine shrugs from his spot on the floor where he’s still massaging out his leg cramp. It’s an eat-in kitchen, but they don’t have any furniture for it yet. That’s part of their to-do list.

“I’m not entirely sold on the idea that you don’t need to go to the doctor for your leg.”

“Well,” Blaine starts. “Um. I kinda don’t have health insurance rrrr-right now?”

“What?” Kurt shrieks.

“That was a, a, a b-b-b-bit dramatic, Kurt.”

“Why don’t you have health insurance right now?”

“Well, I, I, I was only on my parent’s plan until I was 23 right? And I w-w-wah-won’t get it with my new job until September, so, um, yeah.”

“You’re not allowed to cross the street. You’re not even allowed to leave the apartment. For the rest of the summer.”

Blaine thinks that over. “There are p-p-lenty of household accidents that can occur.”

“I am rolling you in the leftover bubble wrap and bungee cording you to the couch.”

“How are wwww-we going to explain that to the, to the, to the cable guy that’s coming this afternoon?”

“I don’t care. Let him think we’re into weird, kinky, bubble wrap sex.”

“How would that even wwww-work?” Blaine muses.

“Stop laughing at me!”

Blaine puts his hands up in surrender. “It’s just two months.”

“Wait a second. Did you talk to you parents about this?”

“Um, no, I, I, I just assumed.”

“I’m pretty sure you’re not immediately off their insurance on like the day of your 23rd birthday.”

“Really?”

“Pretty sure.”

“Maybe I, I, I should ask them about that?”

“I think you should. I think that’s a sound and mature decision.”

“Like, right now? Or …” Blaine trails off.

“Well, it’s 9:47 on a Saturday morning. They’re probably awake and home.”

“Cool, yeah.” Blaine bobs his head and looks around the room. “Any chance you feel like getting mmm-my phone for me?”

Kurt huffs out a breath and goes to the bedroom to grab Blaine’s phone. When he returns to the kitchen and hands it to him, Blaine starts typing rather than making a phone call.

“What are you doing?”

“Um, d-d-d-diagnosing myself on WebMD?” he says, looking up at Kurt with an innocent squint to his eyes.

“No. Call your mom.”

“No, honestly, I, I, I think I’m fine. And look, it says the usual. Rest, ice, compression, elevation. Let’s RICE it up!”

Kurt shakes his head and puts his hand out to help lift Blaine off the floor.

“You really should find out about health insurance,” Kurt urges after he settles Blaine on the couch.

“I will. Not today. I don’t want to p-p-p-piss my mom off.”

Blaine continues tapping at his phone, the tip of his tongue flicking out of the corner of his mouth and then squinting at his screen.

“Now what are you looking up?”

“Erotic uses for b-b-b-bubble wrap.”

Kurt rolls his eyes. “I suppose I’ll go get the bungee cords.”

Kurt settles down onto the couch next to Blaine and his eyes fill with tears.

“What, what’s wrong?” Blaine asks.

Kurt shakes his head and swipes at his eyes.

“Dumdum?” Blaine says, voice unsure.

“I just realized this is how life is now,” Kurt tells him. “Like we’re going to get to do this every day for the rest of our lives. Like this is our forever.”

“I like the ssss-sound of that.”

“Me too,” Kurt agrees.

“I’m glad I didn’t die before I met you,” Blaine sings in a whisper into Kurt’s ear.

It’s all so corny and wonderful, he just can’t help himself.


	2. Chapter 2

February, 2018

“Do we really have to do this?” Kurt whines as they step out into the frigid February air.

“Yes, yes we do. The only way we could have pah-pah-prah-vented this is if you were willing to go b-b-back in time and never be, be, b-befriend Rachel Berry.”

“Dammit. I recently lost my time machine in between our couch cushions.”

Blaine just shakes his head. “We are doomed.”

Kurt sighs, heavily.

“Really? You’re that upset about this?” Blaine asks, snaking his arm through Kurt’s as they set off in the direction of Rachel’s apartment.

“Well. I mean. I’m being dramatic, but I don’t want to waste Valentine’s Day on whatever weird idea Rachel has cooked up.”

“Valentine’s Day isn’t until Wednesday.”

“I know,” Kurt huffs.

“We have plenty of time to celebrate Valentine’s d-d-d-day. And let’s be rrrrr-real, it’s not like we had big plans or anything.”

“We could have had big plans. We could have gone away for the weekend,” Kurt pauses, scrunching his face in thought. “I could have surprised you with any number of weekend getaways.”

Blaine is dubious.

“We could have gone on a Sweetheart’s Cruise.”

Blaine smiles and shakes his head, pulling Kurt a little closer. “We’re cooler than that.”

“Are we though?” Kurt asks.

“Totally, for sure.” Blaine pauses and smiles deviously. “And it absolutely goes against the oath I-I-I took when I b-b-b-became a hipster.”

“Blaine,” Kurt looks at him seriously. “You’re not actually a hipster.”

“I could be a hipster if I want to be a hipster,” Blaine mutters as the boys buzz to get into Rachel’s apartment and jog up the stairs.

Rachel swings open the door to the apartment as they crest the top step. In her red mini-skirt and heart polka dot (polka hearts? Blaine thinks.) sweater, she basically looks like Valentine’s Day threw up on her. Kurt thinks she looks like she must have gone pretty deep into her closet for this ensemble. It’s scarily reminiscent of an outfit she wore in high school.

“Welcome!” she exclaims, pulling them each in for double cheek kisses. “How are you tonight?”

“Kurt’s killing mmmm-my dreams again,” Blaine tells her earnestly.

“Kurt, we will have no dream killing tonight. Tonight is about celebrating love!” Rachel throws her arms up, striking a ridiculous pose and then spins, turning back around and grinning wildly.

Kurt puts his hands on Rachel’s shoulders, looking into her eyes. “What did you take Rachel? Do we need to get your stomach pumped?”

“Stop it Kurt. I’m high on love. When did you become so cynical?”

“I’ve always been cynical. If anything I’m less cynical now than I’ve ever been in my whole life.”

The boys shrug off their coats and Blaine nods along to what Kurt’s saying. He really is a lot less cynical than when Blaine first met him.

“Don’t be dumb. You know what I mean. For someone in a long term relationship, you always act like you have no clue about love.”

“Oh. I see. I’m vaguely fond of Blaine. He’s okay, I guess,” Kurt says rolling his eyes.

“Kurt Hummel. Consummate romantic,” Blaine tells Rachel as he pulls Kurt close and kisses the side of his head.

Rachel flounces away and Blaine and Kurt walk into the living room.

“Sup, boys?” Puck says as they enter and flop onto the loveseat.

“Has she been like this all day?” Kurt says, by way of greeting.

Puck doesn’t have a chance to answer before Rachel flutters back into the room with a platter of crudite arranged artfully in a heart shape, with a heart shaped bowl of dip in the middle.

“Lovely presentation,” Blaine says as he digs in.

Kurt holds up a radish rosette. “How long did these take you?”

Rachel goes into a long winded explanation, including her Google search terms and the exact type of knife she used. The door buzzes again and Blaine gets up to let Matt and his harem in.

“Where did you pick up all of these ladies?” Blaine asks, as Matt hugs him dramatically. A train of girls file in: Julia, DiDi, and Tina, and then his sisters Katie and Erin.

“I’ve never been so happy to see another dude in my life.”

“They’ve been at your place for like an hour.”

“I know. I think I’m high on nail polish fumes.”

Blaine pulls back and Matt shows him his nails.

“What the hell is that color?”

“It’s called ‘trophy wife.’ Julia forced it on me.”

“Nice.”

Rachel claps her hands behind them. “Now that the group has been assembled, I’ll lay out the buffet. Though I can’t help but notice that not everyone followed my instructions to bring a date tonight.” She glares at the four girls, who immediately pair off.

“I’m here with DiDi,” Erin says.

“And Tina and I have fostered a very close relationship of late,” Katie says.

Rachel shakes her head, and mutters, “I bet all the Eversleighs think they’re comedians,” as she goes into the kitchen.

“She thinks our love is a joke,” DiDi says to Erin.

“It’s okay, lovey,” Erin says as she hugs DiDi.

For dinner there’s heart shaped spinach ravioli, and heart shaped garlic rolls, and a heart shaped cake for dessert.

“Who serves garlic rolls at a Valentine’s Day party?” Kurt whispers to Blaine, before noticing that Blaine has three on his plate and one already in his mouth.

He lets the one fall from his mouth and onto his plate. “Why? Did you like, w-w-want to kiss me later, or ssss-something? And you wouldn’t want to, to, to kiss my garlic infested mmm-mouth?”

Kurt puts two garlic rolls on his plate and bumps his hip into Blaine’s with a smile.

“Your poopheadedness is at an all-time high lately,” Kurt tells him.

Blaine smiles widely and they move back towards the loveseat.

Rachel doesn’t bother her guests while they eat, happy to serve more drinks and crudite while she waits to reveal her big plan.

“Okay!” She claps her hands to get everyone’s attention and she explains the rules, a Newlywed type game, minus the part where half of the couples leave the room, and yes, even though none of them are newlyweds. Rachel smiles brightly at Blaine, who raised his hand during her explanation. She assumes Blaine is fairly drunk at this point.

“Wait,” he says. “So b-b-b-basically we’re playing Know Ya Boo?”

“Um, I don’t know what that is,” Rachel says.

“It’s from a very, very, very funny episode of Parks and Rec,” Matt fills in. “In fact, if you haven’t seen it, we shouldn’t waste our time playing this game, we should probably just watch the episode.”

Julia punches Matt in the leg. “You think every episode of Parks and Rec is very, very, very funny. It’s a decent episode, but we should play Rachel’s game.”

“But only if you agree to use the word Boo,” Didi chimes in. “I really like the word boo. And it’s awesome, as opposed to lame-o stuff like ‘partner’ or ‘significant other.’”

“Fine,” Rachel says through clenched teeth. “We will use the word boo.”

She clears her throat, and sits primly on the ottoman. She’s already passed around pads of paper and markers to all of the contestants.

“So, let’s get started, the first question is, if you could dispose of any one clothing item in … your boo’s,” Rachel pauses here, rolling her eyes, “closet what would it be?”

The answers are all pretty standard, Puck has a band t-shirt that offends Rachel on a molecular level, and Matt’s growing tired of Julia’s pink ballet flats apparently.

“You’re not allowed to have opinions about comfortable shoes,” she tells him.

Matt puts his hands up in surrender. “I would have never brought it up!”

Then Rachel asks how many kids they’d like to have. She and Puck both hold up zero. Matt and Julia are divided with Matt wanting 4 and Julia wanting 1. DiDi and Erin will both have a baker’s dozen and Tina and Katie want cats. Lots of cats. Kurt and Blaine win the round, both guessing two. Though it’s not really a guess if you know.

After playing through several rounds, and bottles of wine, Rachel announces that the last round will be different. The final round is basically trying to guess “your boo’s” freebie list, or the five celebrities whom if they should meet, they would be allowed to sleep with, penalty free.

This is actually not something Kurt and Blaine have talked about much. They’re familiar with each other’s celebrity crushes, but they’ve never discussed a list.

Kurt isn’t surprised by any of the celebrities on Blaine’s list; however when Kurt gets to the bottom of his Blaine feels an instant spark of … something. Some feeling he’s not familiar with.

“Ezra Miller?” Blaine asks. “Like from Perks of Being a Wallflower?”

“Yeah, you’ve made me watch it so many times I think it’s actually your fault I find him so attractive.”

Blaine tries to keep his face neutral. No one’s paying any attention to the boys at this point. People have drifted back to the kitchen for drink refills or heart shaped cookies.

“Also he stuttered as a kid.”

“Yeah, I-I-I know. I’m the one that told you that.”

“Yeah. You did.”

“So, you have like a ssssss-tuttering fetish or something?”

“Um. No.” Kurt really looks at Blaine now, trying to read his mind.

Blaine just raises an eyebrow.

“You’re jealous!” Kurt exclaims.

Blaine throws himself back into the cushions and crosses his arms.

“Wow,” Kurt moves closer, hinging forward to get a better look at Blaine’s facial expression. “I have never actually seen you jealous.”

Blaine shrugs, not making eye contact.

“What is it? Is it the stuttering?”

He shrugs again and then blows out a long breath. “Haven’t you actually mmm-met him?”

“Well,” Kurt makes a so-so gesture with his hand. “‘Met’ might be a stretch. I was once introduced to him when he came through the office after a photo shoot.”

“Exactly.”

Rachel bounces back into the room and it’s like a spell is broken. Blaine uncrosses his arms and settles himself differently on the couch, smiling, like nothing ever happened.

Rachel announces that she has several more questions.

“It’s still early, and I think we should continue playing,” she explains.

As everyone takes their spots around the room again, Kurt leans forward to whisper to Blaine, “That conversation isn’t over.”

Blaine nods, but doesn’t look at Kurt.

The next question is “What is your boo’s most repeated phrase?”

Puck and Rachel go first, with Rachel’s answer being “Nice shoes, wanna fuck?”

“I do say that to you all the time,” Puck says a fond look of nostalgia in his eye.

Rachel nods and smiles. And then Puck shows his answer. “Will you marry me?”

“That’s a good answer. I should have said that. I …” She stops when she notices that Puck’s down on one knee, ring in hand.

“Again?” she asks.

“Until I get a fucking yes from you Berry,” he answers.

~~~~~

Later as the boys walk home, hand in hand, a light snow starts to fall.

“I can’t b-b-b-believe she finally said yes,” Blaine says with a smile, before sticking his tongue to catch a snowflake.

“I know. I thought she was just going to … end up in a common law marriage with him or something. I mean. This is like the third or fourth time he’s asked her.”

“Fifth I, I, I think. If you count the time he tricked her into asking him.”

“I count it, I don’t know if she does though.”

Blaine makes a face. “I’m sorry I was b-b-being weird and jealous.”

Kurt pauses in the street to look at Blaine, and tugs on his hand to stop.

“Oh my god! Seriously! That was practically a jealous rage for you.”

“You’re not wrong,” Blaine says, his expression light, but his tone honest.

“Any chance you want to tell me what your damage was?”

“You’re never allowed to w-w-w-watch Heathers ever again.”

“Of course I am.”

“You’re never allowed to, to, to mmm-meet Ezra Miller and fall in love with him and the sssss-tutter that he grew out of and his gorgeous cheek bah-bah-bones.” Blaine says all this with his hand over his eyes, as though even looking at Kurt is too embarrassing at the moment.

“He does have gorgeous cheek bones, doesn’t he?”

“Well, yes,” Blaine says, removing his hand from his face and rolling his eyes. “Buh-buh, but I feel like you could actually meet him. All the other guys on the list don’t feel threatening. I, I, I think he even lives here in the city.”

“I’m pretty sure Neil Patrick Harris lives here in the city, and he was on your list.”

“Not the point.”

“Sure it is! You can be jealous but I can’t be?”

“I would never leave you,” Blaine states this simply, confidently, and it makes Kurt’s heart swell.

“I would never leave you,” Kurt responds, squeezing both of Blaine’s hands.

“You could though. You have all these, these, these, um, options. I-I-I see guys checking you out all the time.”

“Really?” Kurt’s amazed, not that guys check him out, he knows that guys check him out, but he’s amazed that Blaine notices. He always thinks of Blaine as, not oblivious, that’s the wrong word these days, but something else, something very innocent. Maybe naive. But Kurt forgets sometimes that even with his bashfulness and childlike wonder about certain things, Blaine is very much a grownup.

“Of course. You’re such a, a, a dumdum.”

“I see guys check you out too.”

“Pft.” Which is Blaine’s go to noise of disbelief.

“Oh, pft your face,” Kurt says. And then he does. He literally “pfts” Blaine’s cheek.

Blaine giggles.

“I’m going to assume that is the giggle of forgiveness.”

Blaine pulls Kurt in and wraps his hands around his waist. It’s cold, and Kurt’s ears are pink. He has snow stuck to the tips of his hair, and the flakes glint in the streetlight.

“You should have w-w-worn a hat,” Blaine says.

“You only nag people you care about, so I’m assuming I’m forgiven.” Kurt knows it’s redundant but he feels like he needs to hear Blaine say it, to put it an end to that little bit of tension that was gnawing at Kurt more than he’d like to admit.

“I, I, I was never angry with you.”

“Sure you were.”

“I totally wasn’t. Jealousy isn’t anger. It can end up there, buh-buh-buh-ut it’s not the same thing.”

It’s Kurt’s turn to take a good look at Blaine, at his striped winter hat and his earnest expression and the snowflake stuck to his eyelash.

Kurt leans in and kisses it away.

“You just kissed mmmm-my eyelash.”

“Yeah, it wasn’t as romantic as I’d anticipated.”

“It was sort of like that cataract test at the, the, the eye dah-doctor.”

They laugh, they kiss, and then they head into their building.


	3. Chapter 3

_December 2018_

Blaine called ahead, to make sure Paula was in her office today. It’s the week between Christmas and New Year’s, and he wanted to make sure.

Because he’s been meaning to do this for a long time. Literally years at this point. And there are a bunch of reasons why it took this long, not least of which is that he lives in New York. He doesn’t want his plan to go astray now that he’s finally putting it into action.

It’s time. Long past time in fact, for Kurt to meet Paula. 

They sit in the parking lot of an unassuming office park in Blaine’s car. Or the car that Blaine’s parents continue to own, even though he’s only ever around to drive it 2 or 3 weeks out of the year.

“Why do you seem nervous?” Kurt asks, after watching him mess around with his phone longer than strictly necessary.

“Me?” Blaine asks, feigning chagrin. “I’ve never b-b-b-been nervous about anything. Ever. In my whole life.”

Kurt just raises his eyebrows at him.

“Too many pah-pah-rotestations?” Blaine inquires.

“Far too many.”

“Um. Well. I, I, I. I guess. Like. Paula’s a, a, a … person. A, um, a. Person…”

“Yes, she is Blaine.”

Blaine holds up his finger and tries to make his most threatening face. “You didn’t let mmmmm-me finish!”

Kurt puts his hands up in surrender.

“She’s … personal. Like a, a, uh, a very personal part of my past. And, even mmm-more than like my family, she knows everything. Like, the last time I ssss-saw her, I told her everything. Even the st-st-stuh-uff I was afraid to tell her as a kid. And this doesn’t have so much to do with you, r-r-r-really. Buh-buh-ut I want her to approve of me. Of my, um, my decisions. Of what I’m doing.”

Kurt nods, a slow smile drawing across his lips.

“You don’t think she will?”

He trains his eyes on the steering wheel in front of him, just not quite prepared to meet Kurt’s gaze. “I … know she’ll like you. And I, I, I know she’ll like that I’m a teacher. I know these things. I just want her to like mmmm-me too.”

“Oh dear lord, you’re the cutest.”

“Well, that’s awfully nice of you to, to, to ssss-say. But have you done any scientific st-st-stuh-udies on this topic?” Blaine shoots a glance at Kurt out of the corner of his eye.

Kurt leans over and whispers, “I don’t have to. I just know.” He kisses Blaine’s cheek and motions towards the building. He knows Blaine is nervous. Blaine is almost always nervous about something. Kurt does his best to assuage him, but sometimes it’s more important to let him be. This is not one of those times.

“We should go in if she’s expecting us,” Kurt prods.

“Okay.”

Blaine doesn’t move.

Kurt exits the car and goes around to the drivers side, pulling the door open and putting his hand out for Blaine.

Blaine takes his hand and holds it as they walk across the lot.

“When was the last time you saw her?” Kurt asks.

“Um. Like, um, two years ago, I-I-I think?” Blaine answers, thinking it over. “Maybe three? Like three ssss-summers ago. The summer after you came b-b-back from France.”

Kurt nods.

“I think that’s also part of what I’m feeling r-r-right now,” Blaine explains. “I think I-I-I-I feel a little bit guilty.”

“Have you had any contact with her?” Kurt asks.

“My mmm-mom runs into her at the grocery store sometimes.”

“I’m not entirely sure that counts.”

“Well, I mean, she knows what’s going on in my life, b-b-b-be, because my mom tells her. But yeah, you’re right, that doesn’t actually count,” Blaine trails off, shaking his head.

They enter the waiting room and Kurt’s impressed that it’s not just meant for children and adults, as so many are. There’s actually a few teen magazines laying around.

“Oh, look, Teen Vogue,” Kurt says, settling onto the couch. “Haven’t read one of these in ages.”

Blaine smiles at him.

“Hmm. Interesting. They seem to have an article in here by … K.H.”

“Oh really? I would have, um, nuh, never guessed.” Blaine smiles even wider. “You really are mmm-moving up in the world.”

Kurt nods. “You should write more. Why don’t you write more?”

“What do you mmm-mean?” Blaine asks.

“You’re an awesome writer, but you don’t really ever write.”

“Um. I’m an … okay writer. You’re the, the, the writer.”

“You could be too. I don’t have to be the only writer.”

“What would I write?”

“I don’t know. A diary about how much you love me?”

Blaine raises an eyebrow, about to volley back, when he senses a presence in the room. He turns his face and there’s Paula. Just like he remembered her. And he feels like he’s 15 again, but in a good way.

“Hey there,” she says smiling.

“Hi,” Blaine says. He feels oddly breathless as he stands up, and pulls Kurt along with him. He just really wants Paula to be proud of him.

“When Georgia told me that Blaine Anderson called I had some trouble believing it.” She gestures towards the receptionist.

Blaine smiles bashfully but brightly and glances away from Paula.

“Hi,” Kurt says. He steps forward and offers his hand. “I’m Kurt.”

“It’s very nice to meet you Kurt.” Paula glances between the two of them. “Do you boys want to come into my office? I don’t have another appointment until noon, if you have time.”

Blaine nods, but Kurt fills in the void. “Yeah! For sure.”

They follow Paula into her office and sit down.

“So,” she says, folding her hands on her lap.

“I’m sorry it took mmm-me so long to b-bar-ring Kurt,” Blaine blurts out.

“Well, I figured he was hideous and you were hiding him. Either that or he was fake.”

Blaine laughs. “Look at him. He’s totally hideous.”

Kurt makes a sad face and nods.

Paula laughs and then turns to Blaine. “Tell me what you’re up to Blaine. I want to hear about it from you and not just your mother.”

“Um. Well. I sssss-tarted a job at a private school in the city as a, a, a mmm-music teacher for 6th to 8th graders.”

“And you like it?”

“I love it. Mostly.” He makes a self deprecating face.

“Blaine might be overly sympathetic to the plight of tweens,” Kurt says.

Paula looks at Kurt and grins. “I’m not surprised to hear that. What do you do, Kurt?”

“I work for Teen Vogue.”

“He writes an embarrassment advice column that used to, to, to, um, to only be online buh-buh-buh-ut they’ve started publishing it in the magazine too,” Blaine gushes.

“Blaine doesn’t read it though,” Kurt says.

“I can’t! I-I-I-I can’t handle all the secondhand embarrassment. Buh-buh-ut I know it’s wonderful,” Blaine says, squeezing Kurt’s hand.

“I’ll have to take a look for it. I know we have several issues lying around outside. In fact, I started subscribing to it the summer that you boys met. When Blaine told me he made a friend in his online class that was interning for Teen Vogue, I figured it was worth it.”

Kurt shakes his head, grinning.

The conversation continues like that, friendly, warm, easy. Kurt can see exactly why Blaine liked Paula so much as a teenager. She’s actually a lot like Blaine’s mom, but without all the messy maternal connection.

When they leave Paula hugs both of them, admonishing them not to be strangers for so long this time. Blaine blushes, as he always does, and apologizes profusely.

When they get back to Blaine’s parent’s house, Cooper’s there with his son, Jasper. They’re camped out in the living room, Cooper on the couch, Jasper on a blanket with a variety of toys all around him, though not really playing with any of them.

“Hey guys,” Cooper says, as Blaine and Kurt enter the room.

“Hey, Coop,” Blaine says. “What are you guys doing here?” He levels the question at 11 month old Jasper as he throws himself on the floor next to him, already stealing some of his blocks.

“How do you feel about the way you’re boyfriend is constantly taking toys from my baby?” Cooper asks Kurt teasingly, as Kurt joins him on the sofa.

“I think it’s a youngest child issue and definitely more your problem than mine.”

Jasper’s making grabby hands for the soft block that Blaine is holding just out of his reach.

“Um, so, um what are you guys doing here?” Blaine repeats. “I asked Jasper, but he re-re-refuses to tell me.”

“Maybe if you didn’t tease him with his own toys,” Kurt offers.

Cooper laughs. “Well, Katinka’s out with her sister and I didn’t feel like staying home. So I figured I’d come over here, but our parents are missing in action.”

“Dad’s at work,” Blaine begins.

“Obviously,” Cooper interjects.

“And I-I-I have no idea where Mom is,” Blaine finishes.

“You never listen do you?” Kurt asks. He turns to Cooper. “She was going to visit her dad. She said she’d be back around lunch time.”

“Oh, yeah. She went to ssss-see Grandpa.” Blaine tells Cooper, as though he couldn’t hear every word that Kurt just said.

Jasper lunges for the block in Blaine’s hand, reaching for it and then biting his thumb. Blaine drops the block and Jasper holds it up, victorious at last.

“Your child b-b-bit me,” Blaine says.

Cooper shrugs.

“Jasper b-b-bit me,” Blaine whines to Kurt.

“You had it coming,” Kurt tells him.

Blaine frowns. “What if I bit you?” he says to Jasper in a sugary voice. “What if I bite your face? And all your fingers, and all your toes, and your belly?” And with that he lifts Jaspers shirt and starts blowing raspberries.

Cooper makes a disgusted face. “Stop trying to eat my child.”

“I’m going to douse him in club sauce and eat him up,” Blaine continues in his overly sweet baby voice.

“We rewatched the first two seasons of Arrested Development recently,” Kurt informs Cooper.

“That makes sense,” Cooper says.

Before the boys can continue their banter, Michelle comes into the house, bringing the chill of outside with her. She smiles at them from the door as she toes off her shoes and then comes into the room.

“Well, look at what we have here. Four out of my five favorite guys on the planet.”

“So, who didn’t mmm-make the cut?” Blaine asks. “Dad or Grandpa?”

She shrugs. “They’re tied for fifth.”

“Wait a second, who’s in first then?”

Blaine sits up. He closes his eyes, and crosses his fingers, and mutters, “Say Blaine, say Blaine, say Blaine.”

Cooper lunges his leg out to kick Blaine’s shoulder with his socked foot. “It’s me, buttprint.”

Blaine squints an eye open. “What kind of insult is b-b-buttprint?”

Cooper shrugs.

“Jasper’s my favorite,” Michelle announces from the floor, where she’s now laid out next to Jasper, helping him build a tower with his blocks. “Kurt’s a close second.” She looks over at Kurt and winks.

Kurt preens.

Blaine rolls over on his stomach and sticks his thumb in his mother’s face. “Jasper bit mmmm-me. Is he still your favorite?”

“Yes,” she says, ignoring Blaine’s hand and tickling Jasper. “Don’t make that face. He’s cuter than you. You were my favorite for several years in the mid-90’s. That should be enough for you.”

“I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel about that,” Cooper says.

“You’re fine with it. You were my favorite for the 9 years prior.”

“Why only 9?”

Michelle shrugs, and in an uncharacteristic move, leans over to pull on one of Blaine’s curls. “Basically because this guy was my favorite from the moment I knew I was pregnant.”

“Oh yeah?” Blaine asks.

“Definitely. It took me years. Literally. Like five years to get pregnant with you.”

“Really?” Blaine looks surprised.

“You know that. I know I’ve told you this.” She looks over at him again. He’s picking nonexistent lint off Jasper’s blanket, his eyes trained on the floor.

“Maybe I wasn’t listening,” he mumbles.

Michelle considers this. She sits up, and Jasper crawls over to her. She takes his hands and helps him stand. He waivers on his feet and giggles. Michelle smiles, thinking, suddenly feeling like she and Blaine are the only ones in the room.

“Blaine,” she says, wanting his full attention. He looks up, his eyes full of some emotion she can’t quite identify. “Then maybe I should have said it louder.”

He blinks. And then rolls his eyes. “Maybe I-I-I did hear you. Maybe I just … d-d-didn’t know I could b-b-beh-beh-lieve you.”

She wonders briefly if she’ll ever feel like she’s gained Blaine’s trust, but then he smiles his most sincere smile and she feels like she can let out a breath she’s been holding for a long time.

“I b-believe you now,” he tells her earnestly.


	4. Chapter 4

March 2019

March 2  
11:48 am  
Kurt: Leaving work early  
Kurt: my head feels like it might explode

11:59 am  
Kurt: Just made the subway  
Kurt: The doors almost closed on my face  
Kurt: which probably would have helped clear my sinuses  
Kurt: I think I’ll liveblog my illness to you  
Kurt: since it’s all your fault!

12:03 pm  
Kurt: Sorry, I had to have a coughing fit on the subway and now everyone is looking at me like I’m Typhoid Mary  
Kurt: You’re going to feel so bad for me when you get these texts  
Kurt: You’ll be like “oh, poor dumdum and it’s all my fault!”  
Kurt: and then you’ll cry.

12:08 pm  
Kurt: We interrupt these texts for 17 sneezes in a row.  
Kurt: 17 sneezes Blaine

12:22 pm  
Blaine: I’m assuming you died on the subway.  
Blaine: While sneezing.

12:24 pm  
Kurt: I did. It’s all very sad.  
Kurt: You better be sad.

12:25 pm  
Blaine: *crying*

12:38 pm  
Kurt: Sorry I was sneezing.

12:38 pm  
Blaine: For 13 minutes?

12:39 pm  
Kurt: Sniffle. Yes.

12:40 pm  
Blaine: I have to go back to work, but I’ll come take care of you later  
Blaine: Love you

12:41 pm  
Kurt: *sneeze* love you too.

1:07 pm  
Kurt: We have no food  
Kurt: I’m drinking cranberry ginger ale  
Kurt: It’s my new health elixir  
Kurt: I WILL BE CURED

1:41 pm  
Kurt: Coughing fit  
Kurt: I just ate all of the muenster cheese

3:33 pm  
Kurt: Yeah. So, I went... you know. And I had this red bandanna.  
Kurt: 'Cause you know how Chachi always wore that red bandanna?  
Kurt: And I waited there outside.  
Kurt: And I was the first person there when he pulled up in his limo to the entrance to the mall.

Kurt: He got out of that car... he was so beautiful. And he looked right at me.  
Kurt: But... I didn't know what to do. I mean... I couldn't say anything.  
Kurt: I couldn't even move.  
Kurt: I never talked to him, and he was right there. I think I still have that red bandanna.  
Kurt: But the thing is, you never know.  
Kurt: Like, had I had least maybe said something... you never know.  
Kurt: But anyway, the point is I totally realized that, you know?  
Kurt: Fate.  
Kurt: There is fate. But it only takes you so far, because once you're there, it's up to you to make it happen.

3:48 pm  
Kurt: I TOOK NYQUIL DURING THE DAY

4:02 pm  
Blaine: And taking Nyquil during the day made you transcribe the Stripper Angel speech from Can’t Hardly Wait?

4:03 pm  
Kurt: Jenna Elfman made me do it.

4:04 pm  
Blaine: Likely story.  
Blaine: What do you want/need from the store?

4:05 pm  
Kurt: Denise Fleming is a tampon.

4:05 pm  
Blaine: KURT  
Blaine: FOCUS  
Blaine: What do you need from the store?!?!

4:06 pm  
Kurt: Dayquil in liquid form (we only have the gel caps and I dislike them)  
Kurt: Baked potato soup  
Kurt: More cranberry ginger ale aka health elixir

4:08 pm  
Blaine: No baked potato soup  
Blaine: It will make you all phlegmy  
Blaine: Do you need more tissues?

4:09 pm  
Kurt: BAKED POTATO SOUP OR ELSE

4:10 pm  
Blaine: Or else you’ll sneeze on me?

4:10 pm  
Kurt: Yes. (more tissues pleassssssssse)

4:12 pm  
Blaine: I’ll be home asap

4:22 pm  
Kurt: You know, I used to be completely neutral about this movie  
Kurt: Like I thought it was funny and all  
Kurt: but I was totally whatever about it  
Kurt: And then it happened to be on the day you gave me your letter  
Kurt: I happened to turn on the tv just as Amanda reads Preston’s letter and I just felt so …  
Kurt: Raw. Which is definitely not how a teen party rom-com is ever supposed to make you feel  
Kurt: but it did  
Kurt: and ever since then I’ve thought of you as my very own Preston Meyers  
Kurt: And it made me not just like this movie but love it  
Kurt: because he’s so earnest and you’re so earnest  
Kurt: Earnest and Bert  
Kurt: Is Ernie’s real name Earnest?  
Kurt: I mean Ernest  
Kurt: But Earnest is funnier  
Kurt: Hey Vern it’s EARNEST  
Kurt: OMG  
Kurt: is it the importance of being ERNEST or the importance of being EARNEST?  
Kurt: I used to *know* things

4:28 pm  
Blaine: You’re spiraling quickly into the vortex of too much cold medicine.

4:30 pm  
Kurt: Earnestly Blaine, I don’t know what you’re talking about

4:31 pm  
Kurt: I can’t feel my fingers.

~~~~~

Blaine walks into their living room five minutes later and finds an interesting scene.

Kurt is out cold, face down on their couch, the tv blaring, and tissues and cough drop wrappers are strewn about their coffee table and the floor around it. He’s still wearing his work clothes, which even on the best of days can’t be comfortable.

Blaine tosses his bag on an armchair and places Kurt’s requests on a side table, and then stands in front of his boyfriend. He can hear Kurt’s stuffiness with each intake of breath. And he does feel guilty because he caught this cold from the kids at school and brought it home to Kurt. Though to be fair, he did tell Kurt to stop kissing him while he was sick and he tried to sleep on the couch and he didn’t use any of the same hand towels. He did his best.

Because truth be told, Kurt is a terrible sick person. Kurt when he’s sick is an absolute mess. He splits at the seams. He’s whiny and impossible to please. He loses all sense of manners and decorum. Normal Kurt would never allow tissues strewn about, but with sick Kurt all bets are off.

He basically gives up all pretenses of his “Kurt-ness” and becomes this needy, high maintenance, mucus-y burden. Nobody’s at their best when they’re sick, but Kurt’s behavior when sick is on his (short) list of flaws in Blaine’s mind.

Blaine can handle it.

But it won’t be a fun weekend.

He decides to leave Kurt drooling on the couch cushion for a few more minutes while he puts things away.

He comes back out to the living room and surveys the scene again. He decides to start by turning off the tv, and then begins to try to remove Kurt from the debris.

Blaine presses his fingers into Kurt’s back.

“Come on, dumdum,” Blaine murmurs.

Kurt doesn’t move.

Blaine puts a little more pressure on his back, rubbing gently.

“Wouldn’t b-b-bed be more comfortable, fella?” Blaine asks.

Kurt swats awkwardly at Blaine’s hand and then pulls his arms under his body and shivers.

“‘m cold,” he mutters.

“That’s why you should go to b-b-bed. We have a variety of wah-warmth in, in, in our bedroom.” Blaine kneels down next to the couch and kisses Kurt’s cheek. He drags his knuckles up and down Kurt’s spine.

Kurt sighs. “Will you come with me?”

“Of course.”

Blaine stands and puts his hand out for Kurt. Kurt takes it and he pulls himself off the couch, and waivers a bit, dizziness hitting him.

“My head is so stuffy,” he groans, before rubbing at his eyes and yawning.

“I know. I’m ssss-sorry.”

Kurt whips his head up, suddenly more awake. “Yes! You should be! This is all your fault!”

Blaine drags Kurt by the hand towards their bedroom.

“You and those disease ridden children you work with,” Kurt continues to rant.

“I-I-I know. They’re horrible, just horrible.”

He deposits Kurt on the bed and tosses yoga pants at him.

“No,” Kurt pouts.

“No?”

“No. I want your pants.”

Blaine looks down at his gray chinos.

“Not those! Your cross country sweats.”

“Anything for my poor, ssss-sick dumdum.” Blaine digs into the bottom of his dresser looking for the maroon sweatpants that are at least 10 years old at this point. But Kurt just loves them. And Blaine figures the quicker he gets Kurt comfortable the quicker he’ll pass back out.

After both boys have changed, Kurt throws himself back down on the bed.

“You don’t want to, to, to, um, to get under the covers?”

“No,” Kurt says.

“How come?”

“Cause now I’m too hot for under the covers,” Kurt whines.

“Before you go bah-back to sssssss-leep, do you want to eat soup first?”

“Only if it’s baked potato soup.”

“Kurrrrrrrt,” Blaine draws out his name in reprimand.

“What. I want baked potato soup.”

“Tomorrow. Today I-I-I-I got you chicken and stars.”

“Fine.”

“Damn straight it’s fine.”

“And no. I don’t want it right now. Later.” Kurt snuggles his face into the pillow and gestures for Blaine to come lay down next to him. Blaine curls up behind him and Kurt flips over, nestling himself into Blaine’s chest.

He sniffles again.

Blaine rubs his back.

And very soon, Kurt is snoring.

Blaine does the old hug and roll, and then pulls a quilt up over Kurt’s shoulders before leaving the room.

He brings the new box of tissues into the bedroom, putting them on Kurt’s night table and puts a bottle of water there too, figuring if he put a glass Kurt would definitely roll over and knock it off the table. It’s happened before. Kurt loses all sense of his limbs when he’s sick.

After that, he goes back into the living room and starts cleaning up the mess Kurt left on the table and floor, tossing everything into the garbage.

He does some more straightening, and decides to Lysol the coffee table. With any luck they won’t just keep passing these germs back and forth. He’s not sure if he can handle “sick Kurt” more than once or twice a year.

He also promises himself that he’ll encourage Kurt to go to the doctor if he doesn’t feel better by Sunday. Blaine’s cold was only really bad for a day or two, and Kurt might not have the same thing if it lasts longer.

After that Blaine’s not quite sure what to do with himself.

He turns on the tv, and then flips through a magazine. He looks at the clock and it’s only 6. It feels like it should be a lot later though. It’s then he remembers he needs to text Matt.

~~~~~

6:09 pm  
Blaine: We’re not gonna meet you guys tonight.  
Blaine: I have a level one sickie over here.

6:10 pm  
Matt: Wtf does that even mean?

6:10 pm  
Blaine: Kurt’s sick.

6:11 pm  
Matt: Oh. Why didn’t you just say that?

6:11 pm  
Blaine: Idk, sometimes it’s fun to talk in weird/awkward code and usually you can decipher it.  
Blaine: Also I’m bored.

6:12 pm  
Matt: you could come over here.  
Matt: I don’t think we’re going out if you guys aren’t.

6:13 pm  
Blaine: I should be here when his majesty wakes up.

6:15 pm  
Matt: Kurt is one high maintenance dude when he’s sick.

6:15 pm  
Blaine: He is. He also ate all my cheese.

6:16 pm  
Matt: HOW DARE HE  
Matt: Tell him I hope he feels better  
Matt: And we’ll do something next weekend

6:17 pm  
Blaine: sure thing

~~~~~

It’s not until much later in the evening, long after Blaine microwaved some leftovers, cleaned the bathroom out of sheer boredom, and watched a movie, Kurt emerges from the bedroom, leaning heavily on the doorframe.

Blaine’s on the couch, watching reruns.

“What time is it?” Kurt’s voice is somehow nasally and gruff at the same time.

“Almost 10,” Blaine tells him.

Kurt whines wordlessly, sounding like a dog whose tail got stepped on, stumbling across the room, and throwing himself on top of Blaine.

“My nostrils burn.”

“I’m sorry,” Blaine says, frowning.

Kurt slides to the side a bit and curls his body around Blaine as completely as he can while laying on their not particularly wide couch.

Blaine kisses the top of his head. “How can I make you feel better?”

Kurt yawns. Blaine rubs his arm.

“Soup,” Kurt mumbles against Blaine’s chest.

“Of course. But that mmmm-means I’m going to, to, to have to get up.”

Kurt nods but doesn’t move.

“That means you’re going to have to get off mmmm-me.”

Kurt growls but rolls himself into the crease of the couch so Blaine can slide out from under him.

Blaine comes back a few minutes later and Kurt takes one look at the soup in his hand and makes a face.

“That is literally a sippy cup of chicken and stars.”

“So?”

“What the fuck, Blaine? I’m not 7.”

“Last time you wah-were sick you told me you love this ssss-tuff!”

“And it’s not hot enough. It could be like … 22 seconds hotter.”

“22 seconds?”

Kurt frowns pitifully up at Blaine from his spot on the couch and makes puppy dog eyes.

Blaine takes a deep breath. “Anything for you dumdum.”

That’s his mantra when Kurt’s sick. So he goes back into the kitchen, places the soup back into the microwave, and hits it for 22 seconds. Well, technically he hits it for 30 seconds and then turns it off when it gets to 8 seconds.

Somehow Kurt knows this and bitches him out about it. He claims there’s a difference in how the microwave cooks if it expects to be on for 30 seconds.

Blaine just nods and makes very serious faces.

Then Kurt basically chugs the cup of soup, drinks a tall glass of his “health elixir,” takes more Nyquil, and stumbles back into their bedroom, passing out for another 12 hours.

Blaine tries to go to bed, but Kurt’s snoring is pretty much insufferable, so he winds up sleeping on the couch. Quite frankly, it’s not a bad couch for sleeping, since Blaine isn’t very tall and when you take the back cushions off it’s surprisingly wide.

Kurt wakes up before Blaine in the morning, feeling at least 50% better and fully aware of the fact that he was a total beast to Blaine for several hours yesterday afternoon and evening. To make it up to him, he starts the coffee maker and moments later Blaine, bleary eyed and bed headed, wanders into the kitchen and smiles.

“I’m sorry I’m such a terrible sick person,” Kurt says sincerely.

“You really are the wah-worst.”

“I said I’m sorry!”

“You yelled at, at, at me for putting the microwave on 30 seconds instead of 22 s-s-s-seconds like you told me too.”

“I am the worst. Happy now?” Kurt asks with a grin.

“With you? Always,” Blaine says, smiling sweetly and tipping his head to the side.

“You are very cheesy,” Kurt says.

“Look who’s talking,” Blaine says airily.

Kurt looks at him questioningly.

Blaine goes into the refrigerator and pulls out an empty deli bag. “You ate all of mmm-my cheese. You are literally the cheesiest.”

Kurt rolls his eyes in fond exasperation.


	5. Chapter 5

_September 2019_

It’s Wednesday evening, and it’s warm, too warm for early September. Blaine’s happy he had time to stop at home and change out of his work clothes. Though with his luck the classroom for his first class of graduate school will be overly air conditioned.

He looks at his toes in his flip-flops.

Sorry boys, he thinks as he heads down the hall.

He sucks in a deep breath. He takes out his earbuds.

He can do this.

He just hates how he feels in the process.

He paces in the hallway and puts his earbuds back in. They feel comfortable right now. The music feels necessary and the little balls of plastic feel like protection. Like people might blame some of his fumbling or perceived aloofness on the fact that he currently can’t hear them.

He pulls open the door to the classroom and strides in, putting up a bravado he doesn’t feel. Or as much bravado as he can ever really muster. He looks around the room. There are only 4 or 5 people here and not one of them is paying any attention to him. He sort of wishes for a moment that he was the professor. He’s become remarkably comfortable at the front of the classroom.

But alas. Maybe someday he should consider becoming a professor. Long after he gets tired of the day to day life of a middle school music teacher. It sounds like a good alternative to him.

He scans the classroom. There’s a spot on the side by the window, not right up front, but not all the way in the back. There’s only one person in the vicinity of that seat. He likes that.

He moves over there quickly, all of this happening in a matter of seconds. His pause at the front was probably almost imperceptible.

He settles into the chair and pulls out his earbuds. Wraps them around his phone and silences it, before placing it in his bag and extracting his laptop. He does everything at an even pace, trying to keep his heart from beating out of his chest.

He takes a moment, closing his eyes, centering himself. Then he checks his email, and plays a game of solitaire. He’s relieved he has this time. That he’s left himself enough time to get settled in the room before the professor comes in. He’s never comfortable in a roomful of strangers. And he’s prepared himself for the worst, even going to see Chad. He’s 99.9% sure that he’s going to have to introduce himself, saying his name and maybe what kind of work he currently does. Stuff like that.

He’s ready.

He thinks he’s ready.

He thrums his fingers on thighs, fast, fast, fast. He’s blinking a lot, but he’s pretty sure not a single person has even looked his way at this point. So he’s not even sure what he’s so anxious about. Just being in a room like this, he guesses. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

And then he takes another breath. 

As he’s counting to ten, the professor comes in and clears her throat. Blaine opens his eyes, looks up, closes his laptop, and folds his hands, stilling them in his lap. Years of first days of school have taught him to be attentive. He’s allowed to be quiet, as long as he’s attentive. It doesn’t work if he sits the way he wants to sit, curled in on himself and hoping no one will notice him. He learned long ago that that’s the quickest way to get a teacher’s attention, in a bad way.

He feels like a child. Like he’s 12 again. Even his thought process feels young to him, simple, like he’s regressing. Being in a classroom is somehow even harder than it was when he went to college. Maybe because he’s gotten used to being in charge in the classroom, that sitting here, under this strange woman’s gaze makes him feel exposed and vulnerable.

He knows it’s weird. He knows it.

But that doesn’t make it any easier.

The professor smiles at the two dozen or so students in the class, all of them likely already teachers themselves. He thinks it’s probably a weird sort of power struggle, to teach teachers.

Stop it, he tells himself, not wanting to let his thoughts spiral out of control and leave him inattentive on the first day.

The professor introduces herself as May. She hands out the syllabus, and immediately sets to work asking everyone to go around, to say their name and a bit about themselves. She starts on the far side of the room from him. Not great. He’ll be last, since no one sat behind him. By the time they get to him, everyone will be tired of sharing. They’ll be impatient, wanting to get on with things. And Blaine will stutter, and stumble, and mumble.

He shakes his head.

Breathe.

Pay attention.

He watches them all talk easily, earnestly, sincerely. Some older than him, many about his age, one or two that look awfully young. Must be teaching prodigies, he thinks. At least she’s not making them stand up.

After what seems like years, it’s Blaine’s turn. He runs his palms across his jeans, and then grips the edge of the desk.

It really is like being 12 again.

“Um.” He sucks in a breath. All eyes are on him, so his gaze flicks down to his desktop involuntarily. He really does hate it when people look at him. “Hi. Um. My … um … name … is … um.” Could he drag that sentence out any further? He berates himself. But at least he hasn’t stuttered. Yet.

“My, um. My, um.”

He hears a noise. Not quite a giggle, but an odd intake of breath. His eyes dart around the room and faces are less patient now. But he can do this. He needs to get through this. (Although he’ll probably have to do it again tomorrow in his other class.)

He lets himself blink rapidly, sometimes that helps more than anything.

“Bah, b-b-bah, Bah-laine,” he puffs out, finally.

He looks at the professor. She smiles and nods. “Anything else?”

“I’m a, a, a mmm-middle school music teacher. I-I-I-I-I have a,” he pauses here, making a self-deprecating face, hoping to win some of his classmates over. He doesn’t want sympathy, but at least a smile from someone. “Pretty bah-bah-b-b-bad stuh, stu-stutter that I’ve b-b-b-been working on my whole life, buh, buh, b-but it, it, it mmmmmm-mostly goes away when I’m with my students. So. That’s a, a, a puh, plus.”

He glances around, smiles what he hopes is a warm and not too dorky smile (Kurt would know that it’s his apologetic smile), and then looks back down at his desk.

“Thank you, Blaine,” his professor says. He nods in acknowledgement, but can’t quite look back up yet.

The good news is, from here on out, things will get easier. The bad news is that he’s not really going to be able to pay much attention for the next few minutes, at least not until his breathing evens out, and his heart stops hammering, and his cheeks cool down.

He feels the air conditioning start to blow then, and almost laughs out loud at the thought that it’s the heat he’s generating that made it turn on.

Instead he lets out a long breath, and focuses on the sound of May’s voice.

~~~~~

The professor lets them out a little early, and Blaine can’t help but bolt from the room. Next class he’ll try to be a bit more social. Baby steps for now.

The sunlight is giving its last gasp of life out on the quad and Blaine’s happy to notice that it took a lot of the heat of the day with it.

He’s even happier to notice, almost so happy he could cry, that Kurt’s outside on a bench, idly flipping through a magazine.

Also, he appears to have a white bag that Blaine assumes is full of some type of delicious food. 

“Dumdum,” he calls, picking his way across the lawn.

Kurt waves and smiles, kissing Blaine lightly when he’s close enough.

“So …” Kurt says, expectantly.

Blaine blushes. “I-I-I, well, it was, um.”

Kurt takes Blaine’s hand and squeezes. The same gesture he’s been using for years to mean “I’m here, I’m listening, take whatever time you need.”

Blaine shrugs and smiles. “It was hard, buh-buh-ut I did it.”

Kurt tips his head and his eyes twinkle. “Then I’m very proud of you.”

Life is good.

~~~~~

It’s a few weeks later, September just barely fading into October, and Blaine didn’t have time to stop for dinner before class. He’s in the vending machine nook off the main hall, debating between a candy bar and a bag of pretzels, when hears voices moving towards him.

“Can you imagine him trying to talk to a special needs kid though? How are they ever going to understand him? I can barely understand him,” a female voice says.

“Well, I mean, he did say that he doesn’t have any trouble talking to kids.”

“Did he? I must have missed that part. I barely ever understand what he’s saying. Like my brain can’t process his voice or something. Even when he isn’t stuttering it sounds, like, so hesitant and hard to follow. I just don’t understand how he can teach.”

“Well,” the second voice says, before the first one cuts her off to continue.

“How does he talk to parents? How does he communicate with colleagues? Every time he answers a question I have to stop myself from rolling my eyes. And sometimes I don’t even bother stopping myself, because I know I’m not the only one who feels that way. We all know it’s going to take like a year and a half for him to get the answer out.”

“I think you’re wildly exaggerating.”

He’s heard worse. He really has. He doesn’t have a list of the worst times, but he knows this one isn’t it. But it’s close, it’s very, very close. He has to say something, because how on earth is _she_ going to work with special needs children? He feels like he needs to defend himself and every single student that could potentially be in her class someday. 

“Am I though? How did he even get into this program? What does that say about this program that they let people who can barely talk into it?”

Blaine doesn’t know what to do. He desperately wants to walk out into the hallway and tell this person off. But that’s never been one of his strong suits. He could step out into the main hall and give her a meaningful look? Shake his head in a reprimanding way? He needs to think of some words. And they should be words that he won’t stutter on too badly.

Before he can think any further about it, a third voice comes on the scene.

“Stefanie?”

Blaine moves closer to the doorway and can hear a sharp intake of breath.

“Hi!” she says with way too much enthusiasm in her voice.

Stefanie, huh, he thinks. One of the young ones, one of the “teaching prodigies” he noticed the first day.

“I’ve been listening to you for the past few minutes, and I think maybe you need to come have a chat with me during office hours.”

Blaine peaks into the hallway. Stefanie’s jaw is dropped and she nods, dumbly.

May glances at her watch. “Or you know what, maybe a talk right now even.”

The other girl, Kristie, hastily enters the classroom, obviously wanting nothing more to do with this.

Blaine leans on the wall, barely out of sight, knowing this is eavesdropping now, knowing he might not even want to hear what his professor has to say, but not really caring. He needs to know. And he’s sort of stuck anyway. There’s no way of getting past them without them seeing him and making the whole thing more awkward. He inches out a little further so that he can watch the scene unfold.

“So, I’m assuming you’re talking about Blaine,” May starts.

“Oh, well, I, you know. He is very hard to understand at times,” Stefanie says.

“I disagree.”

“He just, slurs all of his words together.”

“I think he does a pretty good job,” May states, her tone leaving no room for argument.

“Maybe it’s me,” she says with a shrug. “Maybe I just have a lot of trouble understanding speech defects.”

The worst part, Blaine thinks, is how entirely unashamed Stefanie seems.

“You know, if it’s you, Stefanie, you might really want to consider a different concentration than Special Education. You might really want to consider a different field than teaching, period.” May says firmly. “Because teachers like Blaine are diamonds in the rough, but people like you are a dime a dozen.”

Stefanie’s eyes are wide.

“Um. Wow. That’s pretty harsh.”

“The world is sometimes a harsh place.”

Stefanie stalks off, in the opposite direction.

“Going somewhere else Stefanie?” May calls after her.

She doesn’t respond.

The professor turns towards the classroom door.

Blaine checks the time on his phone, two minutes until class starts. He takes a long drink from the bottle of soda he forgot he was holding and walks over to enter the classroom himself. 

He breathes deeply and turns the handle.

He smiles.

He’s a diamond in the rough.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter occurs right after the events of chapter 3 of Circle of Fifths.

_January 2020_

A moment of Matt

Blaine and Kurt wander back onto the dance floor a few minutes before midnight. They both have shit eating grins on their faces and basically look happier than they have all day. I nudge Julia who’s sitting next to me.

“Look at poopdum,” I mutter.

She looks away from her phone, where she’d been exchanging emails with DiDi about what life was like in the far off future of tomorrow.

“What about them?” She whispers back.

“They look like they recently had coat closet sex.”

She squints, puts on her most pensive expression, and looks at them like she can see into their souls. She probably can. Woman is magic I tell you. She reads my mind like 78% of the time.

“No,” she says, after a long minute.

“That’s it? Just no?” I prod.

“Well, not just no. But they didn’t have coat closet sex. They’re both too put together still. They didn’t even have a heated make out session.”

“Ask DiDi if she has any information from the future.”

My phone vibrates in my pocket and I glance around the room, figuring all my friends are here, so it’s probably my mom wishing me Happy New Year 4 minutes early because she really can’t hold off on going to sleep any longer.

Instead it’s Blaine.

11:52 pm  
Blaine: DO NOT REACT OUTWARDLY.  
Blaine: DO NOT LOOK AT ME.

I look over at him, where he’s slow dancing with Kurt and he makes a throat slitting gesture at me. I turn away quickly. We might not live together anymore, but he does have an extra key and he will kill me in my sleep. I wouldn’t put it past him, he is a ninja. I think it’s from trying to be quiet for his entire life. He has the ability to become a shadow.

11:52 pm  
Blaine: I told you not to look at me.

11:53 pm  
Matt: How the hell are you texting me right now?

11:54 pm  
Blaine: Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to.

11:54 pm  
Matt: ??? (I love when you’re weird like this.)

11:55 pm  
Blaine: I asked Kurt to marry me and he said yes.  
Blaine: (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)  
Blaine: Just be cool.  
Blaine: We’re not going to say anything here, but I couldn’t not tell you. I literally couldn’t stop myself.

11:56 pm  
Matt: (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)  
Matt: it’s a good thing we thought of this rad way to make exclamation points less dorky by putting them in parentheses because I feel like I need to use more.  
Matt: (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

My mass exclaiming is interrupted by Julia.

“DiDi says the future’s so bright you gotta wear shades.” Julia does her best not to burst out laughing. The woman also has the loudest laugh on the planet. And she has a very low tolerance for DiDi humor; she basically thinks everything out of DiDi’s mouth is hilarious.

“You’re a laugh whore, have I ever told you that?”

She sobers. “Yes you have. You often follow it by giving me a noogie and then I have to remind you that I’m not actually your little brother. And then I bite your arm. However, if you even dare to touch my hair in this updo, you’ll have to deal with far more than a simple arm bite.”

I smile and pull her onto the dance floor, but not before sending Blaine 45,000 more exclamation points.

~~~~~

A Moment of Rachel

Kurt looks like the cat that ate the canary.

No one should look happier than me at my wedding. I’ve tried so hard not to be a bridezilla but it’s just how these things work I think. It’s impossible to avoid.

I extract myself from Noah and march pointedly across the dance floor. I tap Blaine on the shoulder and make my bride-liest face.

“May I cut in?”

“Of course,” Blaine says, always the gentleman. He wanders off to where I left Noah chatting with Sam and Erin.

I glare at Kurt.

“I know something’s up.”

“What do you know?” he asks innocently.

“Did you and Blaine have sex on my wedding boat?”

“Um. No, Rachel. Blaine and I did not have sex on your wedding boat.” He rolls his eyes.

I try to relax. I have no idea why this is even an issue. Why I would even care. I mean, they can do whatever they want. As long as it doesn’t involve stealing my thunder.

I stare into his eyes as we dance.

“This is without a doubt the most hostile slow dancing I have ever done,” Kurt says.

I stare deeper into his eyes, squinting. “There’s something you’re not telling me. I know it. And I have this terrible feeling it’s going to ruin not only my wedding, but the ensuing marriage.”

Kurt shakes his head and smiles, drawing me a little closer.

“I think I hate you,” I tell him.

I don’t really, but sometimes going to the extremes is the best way to get Kurt to talk. And he was at the bachelor party and I know I shouldn’t be so suspicious all the time, that Noah has been nothing but a complete and total gentlemen in the past 5 years, but I often can’t stop myself from thinking that something terrible went down behind my back and that no one will ever tell me.

Kurt would say I’m paranoid.

And maybe I am.

But then I remember the circumstances under which I first pursued intimacies with Noah and know that my concerns are not that farfetched or entirely out of hand.

Although, glancing over at Noah right now as he waves a little fingertip wave at me and I know they are. My concerns are without a doubt farfetched and out of hand.

“Your face just entirely changed,” Kurt says, a warm smile flooding his features.

I smile back.

“Well, I came to a conclusion and you didn’t even have to listen to my quote unquote ‘unstable and completely useless ranting.’”

“Ah, character growth. I’m so proud of you Rachel.”

“Thank you for being in my wedding, Kurt,” I tell him.

“Anytime.”

“It’s a onetime thing,” I promise.

He nods seriously. He doesn’t have to say what he’s thinking; he doesn’t tease me or make a snarky comment. He lets it go. Because that’s what you do sometimes for friends.

But dammit, it’s my wedding night and I know something’s up with him and Blaine.

So, I go back to staring at him until the song ends, and we break apart.

“You’re not going to tell me what’s going on?”

“I’ll tell you tomorrow. Tonight’s about you right?”

I have no choice but to agree.

“You better believe you’ll tell me tomorrow. Not before noon though, okay?” I say, as I lean up to kiss him on the cheek and rejoin my husband for our midnight dance.

~~~~~

Emails between Julia and DiDi

To: DiDi, From: Julia  
Date: 12/31/19 @ 11:58 pm  
Subject: re: THE FUTURE

Matt said I’m a laugh whore.

~~~~~

To: Julia, From: DiDi  
Date: 1/1/20 @ 2:00 pm  
Subject: re: THE FUTURE

You are a laugh whore.

When are you coming to visit me in Tokyo? I miss your whore-ish ways. THE FUTURE NEEDS YOU JULIA.

What’s happening at the wedding now?

~~~~~

To: DiDi, From: Julia  
Date: 1/1/20 @ 12:07 am  
Subject: re: THE FUTURE

Well, something’s definitely up with poopdum, Matt’s right. But I hate telling him when he’s right. And he wasn’t 100% right, they didn’t have closet sex. But something’s up. They went from fighting like cats and dogs all day to suddenly having these really composed and angelic looks on their faces. It doesn’t even make sense.

I mean, it makes sense because if there are any two people who are disgustingly in love, it’s them. But something DID happen. I just can’t quite figure out what.

And I told you. I’m coming in July. I have to wait until my probationary period ends at this job so I have vacation time. I talked to my supervisor, I can even take two weeks.

~~~~~

To: Julia, From: DiDi  
Date: 1/1/20 @2:21 pm  
Subject: re: THE FUTURE

Excellent news. I’m going to have most of August off. So I was thinking I’d come to NY for a week and then spend some time in California with my parental units. Maybe we can work it out where we fly back together initially.

I think I want to have poopdum’s babies. I’ve been thinking about this for a while now. I have no idea how these things work, or if they would even want me involved, but I feel like it’s something I could really do for them.

I know I’m only 25 and I could still very well find a man and have my own babies. I don’t really know that I want to RAISE kids. I don’t know if I’m really “mom material.” But after giving my baby up for adoption last year, knowing that I made another couple so happy, I want to do it again, but for people I love this time. And I know the boys are going to want to have kids and now I want to be able to give them one. Is that super weird? WTF, I don’t care. I like being weird. It’s weird in a positive way. 

Anyway, I think it’d be awesome to do something like that for them. Don’t tell them or Matt or anyone yet. I should probably talk to poopdum before I get my hopes up. And I need to look into it a bit further myself, so I can go to them with a plan and not something they’ll blow off as a weird DiDi scheme.

But from the first second I ever saw Blaine Anderson I knew I wanted to have his children. And this is a great way to live out my dream.

~~~~~

To: DiDi, From: Julia  
Date: 1/1/20 @12:46 am  
Subject: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THAT IT IS A LOT OF INFORMATION TO TAKE IN WHILE I’M DRUNK AND AT A WEDDING ON NEW YEAR’S EVE.

Wow.

We’ll have to discuss this when I’m more coherent, but I see what you mean, and I don’t think you’re weird. But I don’t ever think you’re weird because I love you. MUAH.

~~~~~

To: Julia, From: DiDi  
Date: 1/1/20 @ 3:01 pm  
Subject: re: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THAT IT IS A LOT OF INFORMATION TO TAKE IN WHILE I’M DRUNK AND AT A WEDDING ON NEW YEAR’S EVE.

And I love drunk Julia. Kisses all over your face.

~~~~~

A moment of Tina

I hate weddings.

Is there anything worse than being the single girl at a wedding?

I had it in my head that Mike and I would hang out together, like we have at every other random event we’ve attended since we broke up. But alas, he brought some other girl. And obviously, he’s Mike, he was nice about it.

But.

Damn.

I should have brought my work husband. But I thought it would be more annoying since I’m in the wedding and then I would have had to entertain him. At least I would have had someone to dance with though.

I hate being the single girl at a wedding.

What the fuck is going on with Kurt and Blaine? Their faces annoy me. I liked it better when they were fighting all day. It fit my mood.

~~~~~

A Moment of Kristin

So, I know I’m new and all around here, but this social circle is fascinating.

Finn filled me in on a lot of the history. And this is obviously the world’s most incestuous glee club. Which makes me wonder if the glee club in my high school was this incestuous. I don’t know, I was in marching band and we were in a constant state of turf war with all other musical based clubs, groups, and teams. Don’t get me started on the fuckers in the jazz ensemble.

Anyway.

It’s complex. That much is for sure.

Finn sat next to me during dinner and quietly pointed things about.

Stuff about Mike and Tina.

Tina and Artie.

Artie and Brittany.

Brittany and Santana.

Santana and Sam.

Sam and Mercedes.

Mercedes and Puck

Puck and Rachel. (Obviously.)

Rachel and Finn. (He’s been very upfront about his past with her. I respect that.)

I have no idea how they’re all functioning in the same room at the moment.

And Finn gets easily confused, so that didn’t help matters much.

I was thinking that I would get Kurt to clarify some of it for me. Kurt’s a nice guy, I like him. I like the relationship he and Finn have. But then Kurt and Blaine have been fighting since just about the moment I met them.

And now it’s the next morning, well technically early afternoon, and I’m sitting across from Kurt and Blaine at brunch. I might not know them well, but something’s up. Something they’re trying to hide.

“We have something we want to tell you guys,” Kurt says. “But we gotta wait for Matt and Julia.”

I like Matt and Julia, but I wish they would show up so that we can get on with whatever these two want to tell us. Also because I’m hungry and there’s a dynamite looking frittata on this menu. It involves avocado.

GET IN ME NOW.

Then Kurt and Blaine order a round of mimosas for the table and I’m assuaged.

“Can’t you tell us now? And we’ll act surprised when Matt and Julia get here?” Finn asks. He’s getting impatient. He should drink more of his mimosa or else I’m going to steal it from him. 

I pinch his thigh and give him a look. We haven’t been together very long, but I like him. He’s kind and not too complicated (unlike his social circle) and he likes me. He’s nice to me, he doesn’t act like some of the crazy stuff I say is all that crazy. I like to think I’m a good influence on him too.

Moments later Matt and Julia come in and Blaine and Kurt tell us their engaged.

I actually already thought they were married, so this seems a bit anticlimactic for me. But I do my best to make them believe I’m happy.

I mean, I was happy they were married.

So of course I’m happy they’re engaged.


	7. Chapter 7

July 2020

It’s a warm summer Sunday. Kurt’s cracking eggs and Blaine’s chopping up a pepper for an omelette. Kurt has also been talking wedding plans, a mile a minute, non-stop for about the last hour. For the last week, for the past 6 months, Blaine thinks when he’s being honest.

“You look … less than thrilled,” Kurt says when he notices the crease between Blaine’s eyebrows and he loses steam on his thought process.

“No. It’s fine. I’ll dah-dah-do whatever you w-w-want.” He shrugs, feigning nonchalance.

Kurt’s not buying it. “What do you want Blaine?”

“Less people looking at mmm-me,” he admits, his cheeks flushing. Kurt’s been talking about a big wedding, next summer, with a long aisle. All their friends, all their family, basically everyone they’ve ever met in attendance. Hundreds of people that will all be looking at Blaine. He thinks he can do it for Kurt, but it leaves a panicky, fluttery feeling in his gut. And that’s a year off still. He’s not sure how he’ll feel as the day winds closer.

Kurt nods. “Okay.”

“Okay, what?”

“Okay. I don’t need a big wedding.”

“Just like that? You’ve always wanted a b-b-b-big wedding. You’ve been talking about it for months, years even. Long before I even technically asked you to marry me. I’ve seen you mmm-mooning over wedding tuxes and floral arrangements...”

“Well. Sure. I love that stuff. Maybe Matt and Julia will let me plan their wedding eventually,” He pauses. “When are they getting married?”

“I asked Matt recently and he literally s-s-s-said ‘no comment.’ Though I don’t think Matt’s the hold out, I-I-I-I think Julia is.”

Kurt nods. He’ll have to mull that one over, and perhaps interrogate Julia about it.

Blaine pulls Kurt close and they clasp hands. “Buh-buh-ut really, dumdum, I’ll do whatever you want to do. You don’t have to, to, to, to change it for me. Because I’m weird. I’ll get used to the idea. It’s just one dah-dah-day in a very long life.”

Kurt rolls his eyes. “I’m going to say something super sappy right now.”

Blaine takes a deep breath, steeling himself for the sappiness and nods.

“I love you more than all that stuff. The tuxes and the floral arrangements. I just want to be married to you. I don’t give a SHIT about the wedding.”

Blaine’s smiles tentatively. He can’t believe he’s hearing this.

“We could still get tuxes. Or gorgeous tailor made wedding suits,” Kurt muses. “There’s no rule that says we have to get married at city hall in boring, everyday clothes.”

Blaine swallows. “You would do that for mmm-me? You would forego the whole thing, just be, be, because I’m a little uncomfortable?”

“It’s one of those things Blaine. If it really was just because you were a ‘little uncomfortable,’” Kurt airquotes, “I might push the subject. But you’re not just a little uncomfortable. The kind of wedding I’ve been talking about is basically the stuff of nightmares for you. And if I’m being honest, I was kind of waiting for you to voice your opinion about it.”

Blaine makes a small, noncommittal noise. Kurt’s not wrong.

“And then you were quiet, so I sort of mistook your silence for agreement, and then I continued steamrolling. It was only just now that I realized I never point blank asked you your opinion.”

“I just want you to be, be, be happy. And to not r-r-resent me,” Blaine says. “If we do it mmm-my way …” He trails off, shrugging again.

“It’s not just your way. Now it’s our way.” Kurt looks in his eyes. “Okay?”

“Okay,” Blaine whispers, overcome with emotion. “Thank you.”

Kurt smiles.

Blaine exhales a long sigh of contentment and rubs his eyes. “I wish I wasn’t quite so r-r-ridiculously re-re-relieved.”

~~~~~

To: Everyone, From: Kurt

Date: 7/12/20 @ 1:44 pm

Subject: Impending nuptials

As I’m sure you’re well aware, Blaine and I have been planning our wedding for the past 6 months. Or, more accurately, I have been planning our wedding and not asking Blaine for any opinions whatsoever. (Are you really shocked?)

It has been brought to my attention (or, more accurately, I realized, because Blaine didn’t say anything, he just looked more and more uncomfortable as my plans became more and more elaborate) that Blaine probably wasn’t into the gala event I was planning, and therefore, we’ve decided to just get married.

So, tomorrow we’re going to start the proceedings for getting a marriage license, and next Friday we’re going to hopefully have the ceremony. We already asked our parents to come into town to be our witnesses (because neither of us wanted to get married without our parents) and then we’ll have a party/reception sometime in the next few weeks. It’s all sort of up in the air, depending on when the license goes through.

We’ll keep you posted.

Love- Blaine & Kurt

~~~~~

Kurt picks out simple gray suits for both of them, and they complete the look with coordinated, but not matching, subtly printed bow ties. Blaine is wary of the idea of bow ties, but in the end is shocked by how much he likes the look.

They pick out the rings together. They decide to choose engravings for each other and leave it up to surprise for the day of the wedding, which comes along much quicker than they could have imagined.

The ceremony is quick, simple, unassuming, and much classier than Kurt could have hoped for. When they exchange rings, Kurt isn’t surprised to find “ineffable” engraved in a messy scrawl on his, nor is Blaine surprised to see “winsome” in delicate script on his.

Their parents take them out for a fairly extravagant late lunch (or early dinner, depending on how you look at it), mostly because they ended up having to wait for several hours at the courthouse and now everyone is starving. Blaine and Kurt are surprised when their parents insist on taking them out for drinks at their hotel bar, but they can’t help but go along. There’s a celebratory feel to the day and it really might feel a bit anticlimactic to just go home.

When they walk into the hotel bar area, there’s a surprise reception in full swing. They shouldn’t really be surprised, because that’s the kind of friends and family they have, but yet they are. It’s touching really, when they look around the room and see the faces of almost everyone they love.

Blaine, of course, is crimson with the unexpected attention; but that doesn’t mean it’s unwanted. He likes this kind of attention, no one has any expectations for him. His problem was always with the walk down the aisle at a ceremony. He just couldn’t get himself into the moment where he would have to step out in front of everyone he loves and have them watch him. And the idea of a photographer being there to create “lasting memories” could bring him to the verge of panic.

But this, this (smallish) room full of people he loves, this is fine. Kurt squeezes his hand and everything is better than fine.

They weave in and out of the small group together. It’s about 20 of the most important people in their lives. Neither one of them can believe that Cooper and Katinka made it out on such short notice. It seems less surprising that Finn and Kristin are there, seeing as how they’re both teachers and tend to have a little more time to spare in the summer.

Chad’s there, alone as usual. After he and Melinda broke up, he just hasn’t seemed that interested in dating. Blaine has a couple of his colleagues in mind that he’d like to set Chad up with though. He’ll mention it soon.

He’s shocked and happy to see that Julia made it back from Japan in time, of course bringing DiDi with her.

The rest of the crowd is exactly who would you would expect. Rachel and Puck, Tina and her new boyfriend, Sam and Erin. Blaine smiles at everyone, squeezes as many people as he can into hugs.

Matt announces that they’ve made a three hour long playlist just for the newlyweds.

“It would have been even better, but we only had a week to prepare. You guys are so impulsive,” Matt chides good naturedly.

Blaine and Kurt thank him, and then Matt grows serious.

“I picked a wedding song for you. I love you guys,” he kisses them both on the cheeks and stumbles away, muttering about needing more booze before the performance.

Blaine rubs his eyes. “He’s so emotional.”

“I know right?” Kurt says as he dabs at his face with a handkerchief.

The mix is perfect. About halfway through the evening, several songs come on from the flash drive playlist from when Kurt was in Paris, and Blaine is struck with a need to say something. To give a little speech about this man that he loves. He’s also had just enough champagne that he’s no longer terrified by the prospect.

He gets everyone’s attention, and twists his arm around Kurt’s waist, wanting him close by while he talks.

“Kurt and I have b-b-been together for a, a, a long time,” he starts. “Like what, five, six years?” he asks, turning to Kurt for affirmation.

“Coming in on seven actually.”

“Okay. So almost seven years, try not to judge me.” That gets a laugh and his heart stops beating quite so fast.

“And in those nearly sssss-seven years, he has been …” he pauses collecting his thoughts and Kurt kisses his shoulder. “So good to me.”

“You’re not so bad yourself,” Kurt interjects.

“Anyway, he’s my favorite fella and I’m just r-r-really happy that you all could be here to celebrate. And we’re kind of assclowns for not having s-s-something ourselves.”

“To being an assclown,” Kurt says raising his glass.

Matt and Rachel stand across from them, and they give each other a look. Rachel clears her throat and gets everyone’s attention before they go back to h'ordeuvres and cocktails.

“Matt and I just want to say something.”

Julia pauses the playlist and Matt produces a guitar from somewhere.

“Well, we want to sing something, to be more precise” Rachel amends.

“There’s a song at the end of the playlist that we picked to use as your wedding song,” Matt says. “But there’s a song that you guys needed to hear on this day.”

“We were there when it all started and we feel honored to still be here,” Rachel says, voice cracking with emotion. “Thank you for being our friends.”

As soon as they start to play, Blaine’s chin starts to quiver.

And when Kurt catches on, his does the same.

This is the first day of my life,

Swear I was born right in the doorway

After that sappy showing there are lots of hugs all around, and then everyone gets back to the business of socializing.

The last song, their wedding song as chosen by their friends, is At My Most Beautiful by R.E.M.

The boys shouldn’t be surprised by how perfect it is for them. If anyone has a knack for picking music, it’s Matt and Rachel.

The boys dance and laugh and celebrate love.

~~~~~

Later on, after everyone’s gone home, or back to their hotels. After they’ve made plans for brunch the next day, the boys get down to business with a stack of cards from everyone. Most of them have checks or small stacks of bills in them.

“People are too generous,” Blaine says, tossing another hundred dollar bill into the growing pile.

“I think most of them are grateful we basically eloped so they didn’t have to spend money on tux rentals or bridesmaid dresses.”

“That’s a good point,” Blaine agrees, as he opens a card from DiDi with a letter inside, handwritten in DiDi’s loopy, messy cursive. He nudges Kurt, who moves closer to him and they read it together.

~~~~~

Dear Poopdum,

I once told Blaine that he would know when I was being serious, and I want to make sure you both know that I’m very, very serious right now. You know I hate to write, so obviously I mean business if I’m WRITING YOU A LETTER.

For starters, I know who you are. I don’t know why we never acknowledge it, I’m guessing because you probably both thought I was an idiot in that online class. I’m pretty sure you’ve been trying to spare my feelings all these years. But I really do know, so let’s not pretend anymore.

And before Blaine starts to worry, I’m not mad, my feelings aren’t hurt. I was a very big moron at 19. As most of us are. I love you guys. You’re like my favorite dude couple on earth.

Which is why I’m coming to you now.

I know I’m young and I know this isn’t really how these things work, but I want to give you a gift. And all my money is tied up in the Japanese stock market, so I had to think of something else to give you. I had to think outside the box.

Someday, when you’re ready and you feel like you’re at the right place in your life, I want to be the oven for your bun. Or as boring people would say, I’d like to be your surrogate when you want to have a baby. I’ll do this however you want me to, on your terms. And I’d even be the biological donor, if it suits you. I wouldn’t want anything in return. As long as the Japanese stock market holds and my voice doesn’t get too mature, I’m set for life basically. Or even if it does get too mature, apparently I could do voiceovers for porn. I digress.

I know things may change over the years, but I know some things to be true. I’m not cut out to be a mother. While I’ve been away, I had a baby and gave it up for adoption. It’s not something I was advertising, so don’t feel bad I didn’t tell you. (It was with this sound mixer guy I worked with. Just one weird night of passion and boom, you’re having a half Japanese baby. It’s been an interesting couple of years, believe me.) I like motherhood in the abstract, but not the reality of it. I never really want to have a baby of my own. I’m not responsible enough. I’m not prepared for the everyday-ness of motherhood.

You might say, but DiDi, you’re so young! Someday you’re going to meet a guy and what if he wants to have kids? Well, to you I say, he’ll just have to deal with this. And I don’t think I’ll ever want to marry a guy who wants to have kids anyway.

In conclusion, I am serious. I am very, very serious. I have little to no history of cancer in my family (a great uncle has mesothelioma but he worked with asbestos most of his life), no heart disease, and no one in my immediate family even wears glasses. If you’re worried about the dyslexia I understand. In fact, if you’re not interested in me helping you, feel free to blame it on the dyslexia.

I understand if you’re not interested, I really do, but this is something I could for you. This is something I want to for you because I love you both so much. And it’s something I can do for you.

At least consider it.

Love always,

DiDi

~~~~~

Kurt drops the letter on the table.

“Wow,” Blaine says.

“Wow,” Kurt repeats.

“I’m pretty sure we were just pah-pah-propositioned by Deirdre Fucking Marshall.”

“Yes, yes we were.”

They stare at each other in shock.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for death of a minor character in this chapter. (Blaine's grandpa.)

March 2021

Blaine comes out of the bedroom, shoulders hunched, expression sober.

Kurt raises a silent, questioning eyebrow when Blaine looks up.

“My grandpa died,” Blaine says.

“Oh, Blaine,” Kurt says, getting up off the couch to give Blaine a hug, squeezing him. “I’m so sorry.” 

Blaine squeezes back.

“Well, we better book a flight,” Kurt says, already making a mental list of things that need to get done.

“We?” Blaine asks, pulling back to look at Kurt’s face.

“Of course,” Kurt answers. “I wouldn’t make you do this alone.”

“You sure you can get out of wah-work?” Blaine asks, knowing Kurt is in the midst of a big project. “You don’t have to.”

“Poop. Of course I have to.”

Blaine smiles and kisses Kurt’s cheek.

“How do you feel? Okay?” Kurt asks rubbing Blaine’s arms. Kurt thinks he seems rather emotionless for having just found out that a family member died. Kurt guides him to the couch and they sit.

“Well. I’m okay I, I, I guess. I mean, it’s b-b-been coming. He was 88 years old. He w-w-wasn’t going to live forever.”

“Did something happen, or was it just …” Kurt trails off.

“Natural causes in his ssss-leep,” Blaine says.

“How did your mom sound?”

“It was actually my dah-dad on the, the, the, the phone.”

“Oh.” Kurt’s shocked. Greg avoids the phone almost as much as Blaine does.

“Yeah.” Blaine’s eyes go wide. “I-I-I know. My mom must be a, a, a mmm-mess.”

“Well, we’ll get out there ASAP. When’s the wake?”

“Thursday, so w-w-we could fly out tomorrow night?”

“Sounds good.” Kurt goes into triage mode.

“I’m going to go email my pah-pah-professor about class,” Blaine says, going over his own mental list.

“Yeah,” Kurt agrees. “You should also go make sure you have enough pairs of dress socks while and I book the flight.”

“Should I check your sssss-ocks too?” Blaine asks as he stands.

“Um. Blaine. I always have enough pairs of dress socks. You’re the one who recently donated the vast majority of your sock wardrobe to the school musical.”

Blaine shrugs. “They needed sah, some, something to put on the clotheslines.”

Kurt shakes his head and shoos him away.

Blaine goes into their bedroom and looks around for a moment. It’s been their bedroom for so many years now, almost four. Sometimes they talk about finding a new place, bigger, brighter, but they love it here. This is their home.

He’s so happy that Kurt can come with him to the funeral. While he was on the phone with his dad, all he could think was that he would have to go alone. But this, just knowing Kurt is with him, it makes everything feel just a little bit better. No matter what he has to face, he can do it with Kurt.

~~~~~

“So,” Kurt begins when they’re settled into their seats on the plane. “What’s your all-time favorite Grandpa memory?”

“Hmm. I-I-I feel like you know all of the grandpa stories. You’ve mmm-met him. He was just a weird old dude.”

“There’s gotta be some story you haven’t told me.”

Blaine rubs his hands together and then moves them to the armrest, tapping his fingers lightly. “Okay. Um. Well, we sp-sp-pent a lot of time with my grandparents when I was a kid. Like they used to, to, to babysit for me all the time and stuff. But after my grandma died, I sort of ... avoided my grandpa for a while. I, I, I was worried, I guess, that he would be too sss-sad, or I would be too sad. Or we would m-m-make each other sad. I don’t know.”

Kurt squeezes Blaine’s hand.

“So, anyway, a, a, a couple mmm, mmmm, months after she died, my dad had to go to Tokyo for work. And he was getting some kind of award from his company, so he wanted my mom to go too. And they wanted me to, to, to come. Buh-buh-ut like, I really didn’t want to go to Japan, and I really didn’t want to mmm-miss school, because I was weird like that. Not to mention that I-I-I was 14 and hated my dad or whatever.”

Blaine shrugs uncomfortably and shakes his head.

“Anyway. They ended up leaving me with mmm-my grandpa. Man, he was so s-s-sad. I could like feel the sadness r-r-r-rolling off of him. So, I-I-I-I-I got it in my head that we would watch a funny movie every night. And every night he would either fall asleep during it, or just not laugh, or, or, or, or end up reading a bah-book. And I was so buh-bummed. Cause I really just wanted to help him.”

Kurt nods along, enthralled by Blaine as usual. He never gets tired of listening to Blaine talk.

“So, finally it’s Saturday, and my parents are going to be bah, back on Sunday. And I know I have to, to, to mmmm-make some last ditch effort to cheer him up. They had a piano in their living r-r-r-room. A really nice b-b-baby grand. Like, man. What an instrument. I wonder who’s going to get that piano now. Anyway. I got really into playing, like I-I-I tend to. It was the best way for me to think. And I don’t even notice that my grandpa has come into the r-r-room. But I look up and he’s there, smiling. And then he s-s-sits on the be-be-bench with me and he starts playing. We play all of my grandma’s favorite duets, which she of course had taught b-b-both of, of, of us over the years.”

“Of course,” Kurt says, rubbing Blaine’s hand between his.

Blaine smiles. “When we were done, having gone through every last one of them, he kissed the s-s-s-side of my head and thanked me for giving him a little while just to be.”

“Just to be,” Kurt repeats. “I like that.”

“It was good. I ssss-topped avoiding him after that. I spent as much time with him as I-I-I could. He was quiet, but so kind. And never w-w-w-was impatient with me or anything.”

Kurt sighs, in that way he does anytime he thinks about young Blaine.

Blaine smiles again, this one sadder. “Though just a couple years after that his mmmm-mind really started going. But by that time I had started driving and I-I-I could help my mom with stuff, like taking him to the doctor, or picking him up from adult daycare. He was never r-r-r-really the same after my grandma died though.”

Blaine’s quiet for the rest of the flight and Kurt lets him be.

~~~~~

Later that evening, Blaine’s dad meets them at the airport, hugging both boys, and giving Blaine an extra-long one.

“Thanks for coming guys,” Greg says, and then turns to Kurt. “I know Michelle is particularly touched that you’re here Kurt.”

Kurt takes a deep breath and nods. He’s always felt weird around grownups whose parents have died. Like they’re his peers in a way they technically shouldn’t be. Like it doesn’t matter that he was 8 when his mom died, what matters is that he understands the basic emotions that they’re dealing with in a way that people who haven’t lost a parent just can’t comprehend. They’re all members of the same, sad club. 

Or maybe he just thinks like that and no one else in the world does.

But sometimes he feels it. And maybe that counts more than thinking.

“So,” Blaine’s voice pulls Kurt out his thoughts as they make their way to the car. “How’s mom dah-doing?”

Greg shrugs. “You know how she is. She’s upset, but so logical it’s almost annoying. She’s so busy taking care of everything that I don’t think she’s even really let herself process any of it yet.”

Blaine nods. He keeps that in mind over the next 24 hours as he watches his mother.

There’s a lot of family to see and interact with. Aunts and uncles and cousins that he hasn’t seen since Cooper’s wedding, or even longer ago than that. His mom’s one of six kids, so the family is large and far reaching. She’s on top of everything, orchestrating all of the details.

After the funeral and the repass, Blaine is in the family room, watching reruns with Kurt and his dad. During one of the commercials, he leaves the room, wordlessly and goes in search of his mom. He just feels like he needs to talk to her.

When he gets upstairs, he leans on the door to his parent’s bedroom, where his mom is sitting on the bed, book in lap, glasses perched on the tip of her nose, but she’s obviously not reading. Instead she sits with a far off look on her face, fingering the owl on her necklace.

He clears his throat and it’s like his mom pops back into her body. She smiles and pats the bed next to her. He walks over and settles into the pillows on his dad’s side of the bed.

“I am sorry, Mom,” he says sincerely. “I’m not sure if I s-s-said it and I wanted to mmm-make sure you knew.”

“Oh, I know that, bud. Wouldn’t doubt it for a second.” She marks her page, and puts her book on the nightstand, and goes back to playing with her owl.

“That’s like having a, a, a little piece of Grandpa isn’t it?” Blaine asks, gesturing towards her charm. He knows the story, but he feels like he needs to connect with her that way.

She smiles softly and leans back against the headboard. “It is,” she says. “And when he gave it to me the day I left for college, he said...”

“Life’s tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late,” Blaine supplies. He’s heard the story of her owl pendant many, many times. He would always ask about it when he was little because he liked it so much.

“Exactly that. I guess you know this story,” she says.

“I never mmm-mind hearing it again.”

She pats Blaine’s knee. “He was always saying stuff like that. He loved quotes and adages and fortune cookies. He loved anything that could be pithily summed up. Seems sort of a shame that he spent his life working for a car company as opposed to Hallmark or something like that.”

They’re quiet for a few moments and then Blaine says what he’s been thinking all day.

“It’s been a, a, a long time since Grandpa was r-r-r-really Grandpa, though.”

“You’re absolutely right,” she agrees, nodding slowly.

“It’s hard,” Blaine says, pausing, trying to think of the right words. “It’s hard to b-b-be really sad when you know that he w-w-wasn’t … himself.”

His mom smiles and pats his hand.

“Is that really bah-bad to say?” Blaine asks. He feels like he’s doing a terrible job of trying to comfort his mother. Instead it feels like she’s going to have to start comforting him in a minute.

“Bud, it’s fine to say. It’s fine,” she says. “It’s true. I don’t know if he knew how out of it he was and that helps.”

Blaine nods, clears his throat, but has no idea what to say, again feeling bad because he had wanted to comfort her for once.

His mom swipes at her eyes. “Well, this conversation went a little deeper than I expected.”

Blaine chuckles. “Yeah, mostly I-I-I was just coming to check on you. Make sure you w-w-were okay.”

“Honestly? I really am. I just feel so relieved. And I said that to someone today, about how I feel relieved and guilty somehow and they gave me a book about grief that I actually already owned from when Gramma died. But it talks about how relief is the emotion that no one ever talks about.”

“I get that,” Blaine says. And it’s true. He can understand how she would be relieved. “Now you don’t have to, to, to worry about him anymore.”

“It’s even more selfish than that though, and that’s hard too. That’s where the guilt comes in.” She sighs, her eyes brimming with tears. “But yes. I don’t have to worry anymore.”

“And it w-w-wasn’t such a b-b-bad funerals, as funerals go,” Blaine says.

“It really wasn’t,” his mom agrees. “Though I have to say, I really don’t ever want to have a funeral.”

“I feel the same way!” Blaine exclaims.

“I’m not surprised to hear that from you. Even in death you wouldn’t want to be the center of attention,” she says, her voice teasing.

“I hadn’t thought of it like that, b-but you’re rrrr-right.”

“When I start to think like that I have to remind myself that the funeral isn’t really about the dead person,” his mom says. 

Blaine nods, but can’t quite let himself actually think about his mom’s funeral. Hopefully it’s long way into the future. Or never. Never works too.

“Can I tell you something?” his mom asks.

Blaine nods.

“Since I feel like I can’t say don’t have a funeral for me, I have a request. You don’t have to speak at it, or anything, but will you sing a song for me?”

“Of course. Do you have a, a, a sss-song in mind?” Blaine asks, suddenly very curious.

“Sunday Morning Coming Down by Johnny Cash,” she tells him.

“Mamacita!” he yelps. “That is a wildly inappropriate funeral song. It’s about a hangover!”

“Which is why I want it. For it’s obvious inappropriateness. It will lend some levity and irreverence to a somber affair,” his mom laughs. “There’s a line about how dying is lonely and there’s mention of chicken. It’s actually a really great song for us.”

Blaine laughs too. 

Then they’re quiet for a few minutes, each lost in their own thoughts, until Blaine’s stomach rumbles so loudly that it sounds like a truck going by on the street.

“You a little hungry bud?” his mom asks, grinning.

“Um. Starving. Basically starving,” Blaine admits.

Michelle laughs and they go downstairs where Kurt and Greg have already ordered pizza. They eat and play cards. Cooper and Katinka come over later with ice cream and they spend the evening telling all of their favorite grandpa stories, happy to have each other.


	9. Chapter 9

November 2021

Try as they might, the boys don’t make it back to Ohio for Thanksgiving for the first time since either of them left for college. Kurt’s got a big presentation on the Monday after the holiday and it just won’t work out. He needs the weekend to get himself (and his team) organized. He told Blaine to go to Ohio without him even, but Blaine didn’t want to leave Kurt alone for the holiday, even if he would be busy most of the weekend.

Since switching over to “grown up” Vogue from Teen Vogue life has looked a bit different. The boys are still getting used to it.

What this means is that Blaine has Black Friday to himself. He needs to find ways to entertain himself that include avoiding all shopping locations everywhere, but he also doesn’t want to get in Kurt’s way, who’s at home trying to piece together … something. Some kind of display or layout or presentation that Blaine doesn’t quite understand when Kurt describes it in the abstract. He’s sure it’ll make more sense when he sees the finished product.

So, he leaves the apartment early, spending some time at a coffee house reading before his plans with Matt for lunch. It turns out that lots of people like to schedule appointments with their speech therapist on Black Friday, so Matt always ends up working. He works in an office with several other speech pathologists, so even though Matt’s on his way to lunch, there are still people in the waiting area.

Blaine settles into a chair. He looks around at the other people in the office, mostly moms and kids. Mostly sullen looking kids. Though there is one older, blue-haired lady obviously practicing some kind of vocal exercise. He does his best not to laugh out loud. 

Since, he’s more than a few minutes early, he picks up this month’s copy of Highlights to distract himself from the hustle and bustle and vocal exercises happening around him. He can’t help himself, he loves their hidden pictures. He’s almost done when Matt emerges from his office with a young teenager, 13 or maybe 14.

Matt smiles when he sees Blaine and waves him over.

“Tim, this is my friend I’m always telling you about,” Matt says, clapping the kid on the back.

Blaine puts his hand out to shake and the kid, Tim, stares at it for a second before returning the gesture, barely making contact before hastily pulling away.

“I’m Bah-bah-laine. Nice to meet you.” 

Tim nods, suspiciously, holding his mouth in a firm line.

Blaine smiles uncomfortably. Is this how he used to act as a kid? It’s hard to remember, he thinks he’s blocked a lot of it out, though he hopes he didn’t have quite such a 50 yard stare. Though eye contact has never been a strong suit, Tim’s eye line is impossible to catch as he keeps his head ducked. The other body language, the hunched shoulders, the fisted hands, Blaine is all too familiar to those. He employs it himself as an adult when he’s feeling particularly uncomfortable.

The muscle in Tim’s cheek jumps and then his shoulder on the same side pops up and he crosses his arms defensively. His mom gets his attention then, peeking her head into the waiting room, and he leaves without saying a word.

Matt beckons Blaine into his office for a second and once in there Blaine lets out a low whistle.

“Those are some sss-serious sssss-secondary characteristics,” Blaine says.

“If only that’s what they were. The kid has Tourette’s.”

“Why’s he need ssss-peech therapy?” Blaine asks, wracking his brain for Tourette’s symptoms.

“For a lisp on top of his Tourette’s,” Matt explains.

“Huh. Suddenly my teen years sound like a bah-bah-bah-reeze.”

Matt nods. “He’s not really talking at all right now.”

“I-I-I know how that goes,” Blaine says, raising his eyebrows.

“He really does kind of remind me of you. Like he’ll have these moments of sort of unrefined brilliance, where he’s a happy 14 year old. And then in the next minute, his shoulder jumps and he doesn’t want to talk anymore. Or work anymore, or really try in the least. And he’ll basically crawl back inside himself.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever known anyone w-w-with Tourette’s,” Blaine muses as Matt gets his coat, grabbing his cell phone from his desk drawer.

“Yeah, I don’t think I knew anyone else before I met Tim. Though…” Matt trails off.

“What?” Blaine prods, as they enter the waiting room. Matt pauses his thoughts, saying goodbye the receptionist and the two men make their way onto the street.

“You know how I was like kind of a dick in high school?” Matt asks, once they’re on the street, in the direction of their favorite sushi place in this part of the city.

“You always sss-say that, but I have a, a, a hard time believing it’s true.”

“I swear I was kind of a dick in high school.”

“Matthew, for the mm-millionth time, you don’t actually have to stand up for everyone. You’re not everyone’s def-def-defender. Just because ssss-sometimes you went along with stuff your friends were saying when you were 16 years old does not make you a b-b-b-bad person.”

Matt scoffs. “I just wish I had said something. Being silent is almost as bad as giving people permission.”

Blaine rolls his eyes. This is a conversation they’ve had a hundred times. But Matt never seems to feel like he’s atoned for what he feels like are his past sins.

“Anyway. There was a kid we always called Twitchy. He was nervous I think, I don’t think he had any kind of … disorders or whatever. But, alas, we were dicks. And I feel like I’m trying to make it up to all those kids everyday of my life.”

One time, many years ago, when they were still in college, Blaine sat Matt down and asked him point blank if he ever beat people up, or actively harassed kids when he was younger. And he told Blaine then that it wasn’t the point. That he always wanted to hold himself up to a higher standard, but he never quite knew how to make other people stop being assholes. Blaine pointed out at the time that you actually can’t control other people, an idea Matt simply scoffed at.

“Well, on b-b-behalf of all the losers that have ever come into contact w-w-with you, I’m pretty sure you’ve made it up to them, just b-b-by putting up with me all these years.”

“Go fly a kite,” Matt says, holding the door to the restaurant open for Blaine.

“I think I might just do that,” Blaine retorts.

Once they’re seated, they quickly decide on what to eat and then Matt’s quiet for a few minutes.

“So, um.”

Blaine looks at him, appraisingly.

“Um.”

“Yes, Matthew. Do you have sss-something you’d like to share?”

“Well.”

Now Blaine looks at him with more worry in his features. Matt never hems and haws like this. Matt says what he wants to say when he wants to say it.

He takes a deep breath and blows out throw his nose.

“So, Julia got this really good fellowship.”

“Awesome!” Blaine knows it really is awesome, because Julia’s been working hard on a PhD in archival studies for years now. And she’s been waiting to hear about a variety of fellowships that she applied for at a variety of prestigious locations. It’s a big part of why Matt and Julia aren’t getting married yet. She wanted to get through the rest of her doctoral program before she started planning a wedding.

“It’s just that she got the one in London.”

Blaine nods. 

“And she’s going to take it.”

Blaine is definitely not shocked. This news is definitely bittersweet.

“And I’m going to go with her.”

Now Blaine is shocked. Like really shocked. Though obviously Matt and Julia have been together for a long time, he hadn’t even thought about Matt leaving in this equation. Julia hadn’t applied for a ton of fellowships outside of the city, and Blaine figured she would take one of those and things would go on, business as usual.

“Wow,” Blaine says, voicing his shock.

“Yeah.” Matt rubs at his eyes.

“Okay, well good for you guys.”

Their lunch is served but neither of them begin eating.

“When, um, when do you leave?” Blaine asks. He’s married, he has lots of friends, but the idea of not seeing Matt whenever he wants to makes him undeniably sad.

“January.”

“What are you going to, to, to do about wah-work?”

“Well. I actually found an opportunity there. In a language institute, working with people who have aphasia. It’s only a contract position. A year. And Julia’s fellowship is only a year. Though they’re a bit asynchronous. Mine doesn’t start until June. But um. We’ll figure it out. And when I get back, I don’t know, maybe I’ll have to see if Chad can help me find a job or something.”

“So you’ll be gone for like … a year and a half?”

Matt nods. “About that long, yeah.”

“Well, congrats man.” Blaine holds up his glass of water, smiling to toast Matt. “Good luck and God speed, and all that.”

Matt nods, clinking glasses. “You gonna come visit?”

Blaine shrugs, smiles. “Sure, I ssss-peak the language.” He jokes.

“There’s just one other thing.”

~~~~~

And that’s how a month later, the week after Christmas, Kurt and Blaine find themselves in Vegas for Matt and Julia’s shotgun wedding. Although, Blaine muses on the flight over, is it really a shotgun wedding if no one is pregnant? He’ll have to look that up sometime.

Matt and Julia promised their parents that when they get back from London they’ll let them have at least a proper reception for them, but for now it just feels like it makes sense to get married before they leave. And Vegas seems like a great option.

A week after they get back from Vegas, the newlyweds are off on another plane trip, this one to England.

It’s hard to say goodbye. Blaine and Kurt feel like they’re losing half their social circle in one fell swoop. That’s not quite the case, but it’s close. It’s a funny thing though, feeling like people keep moving and you keep staying in the same place.

It starts Blaine thinking about how he’s been in the same job, living in the same apartment for the past 4 years. Blaine doesn’t crave change, but it makes him happy that he’s at least finished his master’s degree during those years. It feels like he’s at least moving forward.

He and Kurt discuss having kids, but it’s still in future tense and not something either one is ready for yet. Not with Kurt still settling into his new position. When Blaine’s honest with himself, he’s not sure he wants kids. He worries that he won’t be a good father, or that he’ll pass on his speech impediment. But then he remembers he doesn’t have to have anything to do with the genetics of the kid. He could be a good father just because he’s raising the child with Kurt. At least that’s what he tells himself in his more panicky moments.

They plan on taking DiDi up on her offer. She’s still living in Tokyo, but she says she’ll be back in the states within the next year or so, and then the reality of her offer will really hit him, Blaine thinks. But until then, he takes life day by day, tries not to let the little things get him down.

In those first few weeks of Matt’s absence, Blaine feels a bit at a loss. They would meet often for happy hour, or even just to hang out and play videogames on a weekend afternoon. There’s an empty space where Matt should be. Kurt works late more and more, leaving Blaine not so much lonely as just at a loss as to how to fill his time. Particularly with having finished grad school just before Christmas.

So he tries to fill his days with more plans with Chad, he reconnects with Kerry who recently settled in Connecticut with her husband but commutes into the city for work on a daily basis. He makes more plans with his work friends and visits his parents during his April vacation. He and Kurt spend more “couple time” with Rachel and Puck than they have in a long time. And once spring comes, time seems to move faster.

Chad tells him about a camp in North Carolina for kids who stutter and Blaine applies to be a counselor. It’s sleepaway camp and he’ll be gone for the month of July. He talks it over with Kurt, the idea of going away for a month.

Kurt’s supportive of course, particularly when Blaine explains that he’s not looking forward to the summer. That he would probably look for a camp job anyway, and he loves the idea of working with kids who stutter. Kurt’s sad to see Blaine go, but understands the reasons behind it. They’re at a point in their relationship, in their marriage, where a month apart doesn’t seem like a tragedy. And Kurt is really pretty overwhelmed still.

At the end of June Blaine sets off to Camp Our Time. 

And it feels like an awesome adventure.


	10. Chapter 10

July, 2022  
(Blaine & Kurt are both 28)

Blaine: Dumdummmmmmmmm  
Kurt: poooooooooop  
Blaine: what’s a good looking guy like you doing in a place like this?  
Kurt: I could ask you the same.  
Blaine: Well, I (finally) have a day off  
  And one of my fellow counselors let me borrow their car  
  So now I’m in town  
  Hanging out at a coffee place  
  Drinking NON CAMP coffee  
  And enjoying the peace and quiet of no children  
Kurt: Awwwww  
Blaine: I miss you  
Kurt: I miss you too  
Blaine: I’m sorry we haven’t even gotten to talk that much in the past week  
  But cell service is shit at camp  
Kurt: I wish you could call me right now  
  But I’m currently waiting for conference call  
  That could come in 2 minutes or 2 hours  
  But I know once I start talking to you I won’t want to stop  
  even when the call comes  
  because I miss your voice so much  
  I can definitely IM while I wait though!  
Blaine: it’s all good  
  This is an option that I enjoy  
  Takes us back to our roots  
Kurt: it does  
  Why does that make me want to cry a little bit?  
Blaine: I don’t know  
  Cause you miss me?  
Kurt: That’s probably it  
  I miss you so much that I sniffed and cuddled with a dirty t-shirt you left in crumpled heap in the closet  
  I wasn’t even mad about the t-shirt being on the floor  
  I just hugged it  
Blaine: did you put it on a pillow so that you could pretend it was me?  
Kurt: no, but that’s not a half bad idea  
  so, scale of one to ten, how much do *you* miss *me*  
  one being not at all, ten being crying into dirty laundry  
Blaine: hmmmm. Like a 9.5  
  It would be a 10, but I honestly don’t have the time most days to miss you that extra .5  
  However, right now I miss you a 10  
Kurt: That is a heartwarming story Blaine  
  And as usual, I miss you more than you miss me :P  
Blaine: Yes, because it’s a competition  
Kurt: IT IS  
  WHEN WILL YOU LEARN  
  Hold on one sec  
Blaine: kk  
  While I’m holding  
  I think I’ll tell you a little story  
  About a poor mountaineer barely kept his family fed  
  Hardy har har  
  Sorry  
  We only get one channel at camp and it plays reruns of Beverly Hillbillies every night at 9  
  And the dvd player broke  
  ANYWAY  
  So there’s a kid at camp  
  Obviously, there are lots of kids at camp  
  But this girl, Mari, she’s different  
  She’s so angry  
  I don’t think I’ve ever seen such an angry 10 year old  
  Like she’s already so pissed at the world about her stutter  
  And she honestly just takes no shit from anyone  
  And it’s hard to be an authority figure towards her. Like even though I’m an adult  
  I *know* I’m the adult and I feel like I can’t quite get her to listen to me  
  But I’m also really impressed  
  I wish I was even half as savvy and street smart as her when I was kid  
  I wish I didn’t take so much shit  
  I feel like I would have had a much easier time of things  
  Although, who knows, it’s probably indicative of some kind of deeper issues  
  Anyway  
  Not a great story  
  But I guess I’m just trying to say that I’m learning just as much from these kids as they might be learning from me  
  In other news, this coffee is terrible  
  Needs more sugar  
  If you come back and I don’t respond I’m just getting sugar  
Kurt: have you returned from your sugar expedition?  
  Guess not  
  But I think I totally get what you mean  
  Even though I have absolutely no experience with anything that you’re talking about  
  Though if you hadn’t taken shit as a kid I’m not sure you’d be the same person you are today  
  And no matter what I might say, I really am quite fond of you  
Blaine: and I you  
Kurt: welcome back  
  Did you actually have to go harvest the sugar cane?  
Blaine: no, I decided I also needed some cheesecake  
Kurt: excellent choice  
Blaine: so anyway  
  It’s a good experience all around  
  And I’m glad Chad told me about it  
  How are you?  
  Aside from missing me so much that you’re in the process of creating an altar with one of my dirty t-shirts as the centerpiece  
Kurt: you’re so funny I almost forgot to laugh  
Blaine: oh Kurt, now now  
  No sour grapes  
  It’s not my fault I’m fundamental to your existence  
Kurt: then whose fault is it?  
Blaine: blame my mother  
  she’s not here to defend herself  
Kurt: damn michelle and her giving birth to someone so paramount to my everyday life  
Blaine: yes, damn her  
Kurt: that’s not nice you shouldn’t talk about your mother that way  
Blaine: you started it  
Kurt: sigh  
  Poop  
  I miss you  
Blaine: I know  
  It’s only three more weeks  
  And I swear this is so good for me  
  I was just feeling sort of stifled in the city  
  Kind of lonely too  
Kurt: I know  
  I’ll try harder to be around more  
Blaine: no, no, it’s not just your fault  
  It was a conglomeration of a hundred things  
Kurt: I know  
  But I still feel like I need to be around more  
Blaine: and you will be  
  This is too good of an opportunity for you to not use it to the fullest  
Kurt: yeah, about that  
Blaine: what?  
Kurt: I don’t know if I really want to stick with this job to the fullest  
Blaine: really?  
Kurt: yeah, it’s not really me  
  I’m not enjoying working in this part of the magazine world  
  I don’t really like what I’m doing  
  With the magazine layout  
  It’s not satisfying  
Blaine: okay  
  Are you still waiting for your call?  
  Do you want to talk about this rather than just type?  
Kurt: yes, I’m still waiting, and no I can type about it  
  I’ve gotten quite good at typing my feelings thanks to you  
Blaine: so what are you thinking?  
Kurt: well, there’s a position available with Conde Nast Traveler  
  Working on some of their social media stuff  
  They like my writing style  
  But it’s going to require traveling  
Blaine: okay.  
Kurt: not a ton of traveling  
  And probably only once in a while  
  But sometimes I’m going to have to go places  
Blaine: Am I supposed to be upset by this?  
  Because unless you’ve forgotten, technically I’m currently traveling  
  So it’s not like I can stop you from doing the same  
  And while the backwoods of North Carolina might not be the hottest destination  
  I totally get where you’re coming from and I think it’s a great idea  
  So what’s the next step  
Kurt: well, first of all, thank you for your support  
  Second of all, I love you a lot  
  Third of all, the conference call I’m about to have is about the job  
Blaine: well that was quick  
Kurt: yeah, it basically started to set itself up in the past two days  
  Like I barely got past thinking “I need a new job” and this was presented to me  
Blaine: sounds like kismet to me  
Kurt: you know it just might be  
Blaine: awesome  
Kurt: And with any luck you’ll be able to travel with me sometimes  
  Like if it coincides with breaks or whatever  
Blaine: that is also awesome. :)  
  Though, quite frankly, after just a week of this camp  
  I think I’d like to do this again next summer  
Kurt: that’s great poop  
Blaine: it is, I love it down here  
Kurt: I look forward to picking you up at the end of the month.  
  (It’s kind of fun owning a car even though it costs a horrendous amount of money)  
Blaine: (I know, but we sort of needed one and it was getting ridiculous to continually have to rent.)  
  me too  
  I can’t wait to show you how beautiful it is  
  The pictures don’t do it justice  
Kurt: I’m really not a backwoods kind of boy though  
  (You’re right, I know you’re right. And now we can save money on plane tickets too.)  
Blaine: (And considering my parents GAVE us their old car, that wasn’t even all that old, I’m not sure what you’re complaining about)  
  no I know  
  That’s why we won’t stay long and we’ll head for our week on the coast  
Kurt: (you know me, I complain when I’m nervous.)  
  excellent  
  We should do a tour of Nicholas Sparks book locations  
Blaine: (Don’t be nervous.)  
  ummmm  
Kurt: (I love the fact that we actually have two separate conversations going on at the moment and they both actually make sense.)  
  that was a joke  
Blaine: (we are geniuses.)  
  oh thank god  
Kurt: you’re so gullible  
Blaine: and you like shitty books  
  So I wouldn’t be surprised if it was something you really wanted to do  
Kurt: whoa whoa whoa  
  Just because you say things like “my favorite author is John Irving”  
  And you can properly pronounce Jo Nesbo (Idk how to make that “o” with the slash through it)  
  Doesn’t mean you’re better than all of us Nicholas Sparks fans  
Blaine: Kurt, we own The Lucky One on dvd  
  You don’t have a leg to stand on  
Kurt: I know  
  Also you’re going to have to remind me how to pronounce Jo Nesbo next time we talk  
Blaine: of course  
  So, honestly, have you done anything besides go to work and sleep since I’ve been gone  
Kurt: I went over to Rachel and Puck’s for dinner  
Blaine: that’s fun  
Kurt: are you being sarcastic?  
Blaine: no, then I would have used my sarcasm font  
  Why wasn’t it fun?  
Kurt: I don’t know, because I have a bad attitude about these things  
Blaine: you often do  
  It’s really not becoming of you  
Kurt: she’s my oldest friend  
  And I love her  
  But it’s like we’ve spent the past 15 or so years of friendship just learning how to get on each other’s last nerve  
Blaine: you fight like siblings  
Kurt: we do  
  and it’s cyclical with her  
  I love her for a year or two and then she annoys the bejesus out of me for about 6 months  
  I think I used up a lot of my patience with her while she was planning her wedding  
  she’s been annoying me for almost a year now  
  I’m sure I’ll have an upswing soon  
  I’m starting to get very nervous about this interview  
Blaine: don’t be, you’re going to wow them  
Kurt: I hope they appreciate my high school French  
  I’m sure that’s still very impressive  
Blaine: Kurrrrrrrt  
  How can I distract you?  
Kurt: I don’t know  
Blaine: Ben Affleck to Ellen Pompeo  
  Using only movies that we own on dvd  
Kurt: HA  
  Wow  
  Okay  
  This is also a great way to highlight our very out of date and cringeworthy dvd collection  
Blaine: Yes. This is also my way of prompting you to finally get rid of them  
Kurt: but, but, but! They’re classics!  
  And most of them still work!  
  And the ones that don’t work can be used for crafts  
Blaine: Kurt  
  When are you going to have time to make crafts out of old dvd’s?  
Kurt: I don’t know but I have a whole Pinterest board of ideas  
Blaine: shaking. my. head.  
Kurt: stop judging me  
  ANYWAY  
  This foray into you mocking me has given me plenty of time to think  
Blaine: bring it on  
Kurt: Ben affleck was in Gigli with Christopher Walken  
  Who was in Catch me if you Can with Ellen Pompeo  
Blaine: Ellen Pompeo was in Catch Me if You Can?  
Kurt: yeah, she says the “Are you my deadhead?” line  
Blaine: ohhhhhhhh.  
  Good work  
  I’m still not 100% sure why you own Gigli  
Kurt: IT CAME IN A TWO PACK  
Blaine: Sure sure, that’s what they all say  
Kurt: I talked to Julia yesterday  
Blaine: OMG YOU’RE SO LUCKY I MISS THEM SO MUCCCCCHHHHH  
Kurt: I know poop. I wish we could go see them this summer  
  But I just can’t get more time off right now  
Blaine: I know. And it would have cost way more money than the gas you’re spending to come down here  
  And the room we’re renting at the beach  
Kurt: yes. And I wouldn’t have wanted to go for just a long weekend  
  A long weekend in London is a tease  
Blaine: it is, it really is  
Kurt: I know I owe a six degree challenge  
  But I’m glad you’re having fun  
  I was worried that it would be too much or something  
Blaine: Yeah, I think I was sort of worried too  
  Particularly that I might seriously burn out  
  And find that I hate children  
Kurt: You love children  
Blaine: yeah, but I never have to spend so much time with the SAME group of children  
Kurt: oh true  
Blaine: Yes. Alas  
  All of the other work I’ve done with kids as a teacher has been an hour at a time mostly  
  Aside from that first summer camp I worked at in Ohio  
Kurt: but you’re not burning out?  
Blaine: no, I have some of the same issues now as I did back then  
  With like picking favorites and such  
  Though I try hard not to act on it  
Kurt: so who’s your favorite?  
Blaine: in my cabin, it’s this kid Ricky  
  He is FUCKING hilarious  
Kurt: Was he the one who drew the dinosaur comic?  
Blaine: yesssssss  
  I swear, the kid has TALENT  
  Out of the whole camp it’s definitely Mari though  
  She’s like my hero  
  She has zero fucks to give  
  I’ve never met a kid with a stutter that was so … okay  
  And again, not like I know that many kids who stutter  
  But I just feel like even people who stutter less than me, they still have a certain hesitation  
  Or certain situations where they know they’re speech breaks down and have a hard time  
  But this girl  
  Man  
  I wish I could explain it better  
  But it’s such a weird thing, both from the standpoint as an educator and as a person who stutters  
Kurt: Do you think a camp like this would have helped you as a kid?  
Blaine: You know, I’m not sure  
  I was *so* shy  
  I’m not sure I could have even gotten over myself and my shyness in this kind of environment  
  I think a spot here would have been wasted on me  
Kurt: Blaineeeeeee  
  I hate when you talk like that  
Blaine: no, no, hear me out  
  Because there are only a certain number of spots  
  If I had come here and not made the most of it  
  I would have kept someone else from having this opportunity  
  And I really don’t think I could have made the most of it  
Kurt: Okay, in those terms I see what you’re saying  
Blaine: yeah, I wasn’t ready for something like this  
Kurt: Though I’m still not entirely sure how we got from “Blaine who couldn’t have gone to Camp Our Time” to Blaine who was fine with going away to college  
Blaine: shrug  
  I don’t know  
  I think by the time I was 18 I was just so tired of being scared  
Kurt: that makes sense  
Blaine: it was hard though  
  To stop being that Blaine  
Kurt: I know  
Blaine: well, this casual chat took many serious turns  
Kurt: it did indeed  
  And now it’s time for my calllll  
  OMG I’M SO SCARED  
Blaine: good luck fella!  
  You can do it!  
Kurt: Love you!  
Blaine: Love you TOOO!!


	11. Chapter 11

December, 2022

(Kurt is 29, Blaine is 28)

9:02 pm

Ben: So I’m randomly going to be in New York this weekend.

Ben: Any chance you want to get together?

Ben: I have a seminar I need to be at all day Friday, but then I don’t fly back out until Monday.

Ben: And I basically don’t have anything to do.

9:05 pm

Blaine: Yeah sure! We could do dinner Friday.

Blaine: Unless you feel like coming to a party Saturday night?

Blaine: One of my friends from college is in town after living Japan for the past 2 years

Blaine: And we’re throwing a party for her

Blaine: but if you wanted to come that would be cool.

9:07 pm

Ben: Sure! Just give me the address.

~~~~~

Blaine looks around his living room. Everyone seems to be enjoying themselves. It’s not exactly a rager, and sadly without Matt and Julia the crowd doesn’t seem as full, or as fun, but mostly Blaine is pleased with the turnout. DiDi seems pleased and that’s important to him too. She’s going to be leaving for San Diego on Monday, to stay with her parents for a while. She’s not sure where she’s going to go from there, because she’s DiDi and when she left Japan she didn’t make any other arrangements. But mostly he just wants to have fun with her tonight and not discuss her future with her.

He’s in the kitchen, refilling chips and dips, when DiDi sidles up next to him by the counter.

“Your douchebag friend has been hitting on me all night long,” she tells him, popping a grape tomato in her mouth.

“I d-d-didn’t even know I have a, a, a douchebag friend.” Blaine turns to face her head on.

She glances meaningfully over at Ben, who is currently leaning against the wall opposite the kitchen door, chatting animatedly with Tina. He glances up and smiles and waves. Blaine smiles and waves back and turns his attention to DiDi, who’s pouting next to him.

“Ben’s not a dah-d-douchebag.”

“Oh, I beg to differ.” She pauses and then affects a deep voice and some very odd mannerisms, throwing her hands in the air and flexing her biceps. “I’m a doctor. I’m training for a marathon. My parents have a timeshare there. I’ve been to the moon.”

“Well. He is a doctor. And considering that he and I-I-I met when we ran cross country together in high school, the marathon thing isn’t that shocking. Also, as far as, as, as I know he hasn’t b-b-been to the moon. How did the timeshare come up?”

“I said I’ve spent the past 2 years in Japan, but have never been to the Bahamas.”

Blaine looks at her dubiously. “I’m still not sssss-seeing how he’s a douche?”

“Fine. Maybe he’s not a douche.” She sucks determinedly on her straw.

“He’s not a dah-douche. It sounds like he was just mmmm-making very normal conversation with you DiDi. I’m not even 100% sure he was hitting on you. I think he’s probably just b-b-being friendly.”

“It’s my hair,” she says. “Douches never hit on me because of my hair.”

“Aw,” Blaine says, smoothing down some of her curls and then he has a thought. “Wait, so do you want dah-douches to hit on you?”

“Of course not!” She exclaims. “Sometimes it’s just nice to get hit on by a doctor who owns his own Mercedes, and plane, and island.”

“Ben doesn’t own his own plane. Or his own island. Though I appreciate the hyperbole.”

“Such a pity.” She sighs and seems to snap out whatever dream world she was just living in. “I’m not sure why I made the leap to him being a douche now. I mean, he’s friends with you. You’re not actually friends with douches.”

Blaine laughs. “It’s probably more like d-d-d-douches aren’t friends with me. They can’t handle all the ssssss-tuttering.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Thank you,” Blaine says, smiling sweetly. “I’ve missed you a lot DiDi.”

“Aw. I missed you too!” she exclaims, drawing him into a hug.

~~~~~

12:01 am

Blaine: You’re hot.

Blaine: Don’t roll your eyes.

12:02 am

Kurt: 1. You can’t tell me what to do.

Kurt: 2. Where are you? I can’t even see you.

12:03 am

Blaine: I’m outside, but I just assumed you rolled your eyes.

Blaine: hanging out with Tina while she waits for a cab.

12:03 am

Kurt: How very gentlemanly of you.

12:04 am

Blaine: And I don’t have to see you to know you’re hot.

12:05 am

Kurt: Weren’t you the one that put a moratorium on sexting during parties?

12:08 am

Blaine: Telling you you’re hot isn’t sexting.

12:09 am

Kurt: Fine. But it could lead there very easily.

Kurt: And you have no sel-control when it comes to these things.

12:22 am

Blaine: Disclaimer- I have no self-control.

Blaine: We could play hide the salami later.

Blaine: I could tap that ass.

Blaine: Or I could give you a cock massage.

Blaine: We could sword fight.

12:23 am

Kurt: Get our coats, we’re leaving.

12:34 am

Blaine: We’re in OUR apartment dumdum.

12:35 am

Kurt: Fuck get all these losers out here.

12:36 am

Blaine: Good luck with that one.

Blaine: Maybe we should call the cops on ourselves.

~~~~~

Blaine and Ben meet up for coffee Sunday afternoon. When they said goodbye the night before, Blaine figured he wouldn’t hear from Ben again until the next time they both happened to be in the same place at the same time, for example, Ohio during Christmas. But apparently, Ben wanted to talk to Blaine a little bit more.

They grab a table by the window, talking about the surprisingly gorgeous day, when Ben abruptly changes the subject.

“So, what’s the deal with DiDi?”

“Um. She’s cool. I know she’s a, a, a little wah-weird. But I swah, swear she’s probably one of the nicest people I’ve ever met in my entire life. She’s so sweet. Kurt and I aren’t really mmm-making this public knowledge yet, but she offered to have a b-b-bbaby for us.”

“No, what I mean is …” His jaw drops as the words register. “She offered to have a baby for you guys?”

Blaine nods.

Ben chuckles and shakes his head. “Anyway, I meant is she seeing anyone?”

“Oh!” Blaine says. “No. Definitely not. I don’t think DiDi’s ever had a b-b-boyfriend.”

“Or a girlfriend?”

“No, I’m pretty sure she’s into dudes.”

Ben nods.

“She kind of invited me back to her hotel room last night?”

“Holy shit! Did you go?”

“Well, yeah. But we basically just made out and watched a lot of infomercials.”

“Hot,” Blaine says, raising his eyebrows.

“It was probably the most fun I’ve had like … ever.”

“That’s awesome. I-I-I-I told you she’s awesome.” Blaine pauses. “Her relationship status didn’t come up?”

“Well, no. And I guess,” Ben stops and takes a deep breath. “I guess I just wanted to make sure. Before I got too into her. I’m always falling for women who are hiding husbands.”

Blaine makes a surprised face. “That sucks,” he says.

Ben shrugs. “Do you have any advice? Like about her?”

“Not really. She’s not tough to r-r-r-read. She puts up a good front sometimes, buh-buh-ut just be nice to her. She deserves someone being nice to her.”

“Of course.”

“You want me to put in a good word or s-s-s-something? I mean, you guys live across the country from each other, but …” Blaine trails off. Ben and DiDi. It makes a twisted sort of sense to him.

“Actually, this is the kicker. Like the most unbelievable coincidence to ever befall humanity.”

Blaine looks at Ben dubiously.

“No really, it is. I took a residency in San Diego. I’m moving there in May.”

“That is quite the coincidence.”

“I just really like her. Not to be a jackass, but I just like her.” Ben blushes.

“How is that b-b-b-being a jackass?”

“I don’t know; guess I was going to say something sappy about love at first sight. I just know that I’ve never felt this way the second I met someone before.”

“What way?” Blaine asks, sort of just enjoying the sound of Ben’s voice. He’s not attracted to him anymore, obviously he’s a happily married man. But there’s something about the way Ben talks that comforts Blaine, makes him nostalgic for a period in life he’s never really nostalgic for.

“Like,” Ben blushes even more. “Like I found something I didn’t even know I’d lost.”

Blaine nods. He knows a thing or two about that feeling.

~~~~~

8:08 pm

DiDi: So.

8:08 pm

Blaine: So?

8:09 pm

DiDi: Ben’s not a douchebag?

8:10 pm

Blaine: I swear he isn’t.

8:11 pm

DiDi: Good. Cause he’s coming to my hotel room again in like 15 minutes and I don’t like douchebags.

8:12 pm

Blaine: Again, huh? 

8:13 pm

DiDi: Take your fonts and go fly a kite!

8:15 pm

Blaine: Listen, due to the bro code, I can’t say much.

Blaine: But.

8:15 pm

DiDi: BUT WHAT???? YOU ARE A TERRIBLE PERSON AND I WILL STAB YOU.

8:16 pm

Blaine: But Ben’s a good guy.

Blaine: Just be yourself.

8:17 pm

DiDi: Hmm. Myself. Interesting.

DiDi: I wish Julia was here.

8:18 pm

Blaine: Well, either call her quick.

Blaine: Or just ask yourself What Would Julia Do?

8:20 pm

DiDi: Thanks Blaine.

8:21 pm

Blaine: Anytime.

~~~~~

Blaine and Kurt lay in bed next to each other later that evening, having finally made good on all of the sexting from the night before.

“So I didn’t even ask you when you got home. What’s up with Ben?”

Blaine rolls over. “I was so taken by your ssss-sexiness that I forgot to tell you!”

“What? What?” Kurt prods, sitting up and poking Blaine in the stomach.

Blaine sits up next to him and makes an excited face, and bouncing a bit. Kurt’s not sure if he’s being serious or just a touch overdramatic with this display. “Ben and DiDi are totally in love.”

“Really?” Kurt asks, wrinkling his nose.

“What is that face?”

“I just don’t see it.” He pauses, thinking. “It’s funny, because I feel like people might think what would a Ben want with a DiDi. But to me, I just can’t imagine what a DiDi would want with a Ben. They’re … dissonant in my mind.”

Blaine shrugs. “I think they b-b-b-balance each other out.”

“I suppose,” Kurt hedges, not wanting to disagree, or say anything negative about either of these two people that Blaine considers very close friends. Friends that he made on his own terms, friends that were not Kurt’s hand-me-downs. Kurt knows that these two people basically mean the world to Blaine because of the circumstances of how he knows them. Kurt’s friends with both of course, any friends of Blaine’s are friends of his, but Blaine is so loyal to them. Kurt wants to be very sure not to say anything that could be perceived as derogatory.

“I mean. It’s sort of r-r-ridiculous to even be talking about this. They’ve spent exactly two nights together. They might not even like each other in the mmm-morning.”

“Two?” Kurt asks, surprised. He assumed they parted ways last night after the party and that Blaine’s been running interference.

“Yes. DiDi has invited him to her hotel r-r-r-room twice, last night and tonight.”

“Is that why she didn’t want to stay with us? So she could entertain gentlemen suitors?”

“No, she just really likes hotels. And honestly, if you can afford a hotel r-r-r-room, why would you want to sleep on anyone’s pull out couch?”

“True,” Kurt agrees.

“Anyway, so not the point. It’s awfully early to be thinking anything about them. Buh-buh-ut Ben just ssss-seemed so sure of himself about her. And DiDi. Well, DiDi seemed verging on s-s-s-serious when she talked to me about him.”

“Well, that’s great,” Kurt says, laying back down and pulling Blaine with him.

“Perhaps I was put on this earth just to br-br-bring Ben Rodriguez and Deirdre Marshall together.”

“Hey,” Kurt says, feigning indignation. “What about me? Weren’t you put on this earth for me?”

“Oh yeah, you too.”

“And our hypothetical children.”

“Fine, them too.”

“And your parents.”

“Alright, alright, I get the picture.”

“Good,” Kurt says.

“I love you, dumdum.”

“Love you too, poop.”

Kurt rolls over to turn the bedside lamp off and then rolls back.

“Wait, his name last name is Rodriguez?”

“Yeah, he has an older s-s-sister that was really, really into The Sandlot when he was b-b-born.”

Kurt laughs and then clicks off the bedside lamp.

~~~~~

2:55 pm

Ben: How was your flight?

2:57 pm

DiDi: Fraught with crying babies and overworked flight attendance.

DiDi: Yours?

2:58 pm

Ben: Is it too soon to tell you I love you?

3:19 pm

Ben: DiDi?

3:20 pm

DiDi: You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into.

3:21 pm

Ben: I’m gonna call you right now, okay?

3:22 pm

DiDi: Wait, don’t call yet.

DiDi: And, maybe, I kind of, sort of already I love you too.

DiDi: But I’m going to have a baby for Kurt and Blaine so if you’re not cool with that you should see yourself out immediately.

DiDi: Why are you taking so long to write back?

3:30 pm

Ben: Because the little talking bubble kept popping up and then disappearing so I thought you had more to say.

Ben: I’m 100% cool with you having a baby for Kurt and Blaine.

3:32 pm

DiDi: Excellent


	12. Chapter 12

_January 2023  
(Kurt is 29, Blaine is 28)_

The topic is first broached seriously after Christmas. With DiDi back in the country on a more permanent basis, it seems like it’s time for a discussion. Kurt brings it up over dinner a few weeks after New Year’s.

“So.” Kurt begins one night while they’re cleaning up their supper dishes.

“That’s the kind of so that’s ssss-tarts a conversation,” Blaine says knowingly.

“Yes it is. DiDi’s been back for over a month now and I think maybe it’s time to start seriously discussing the baby issue.”

Blaine nods. “This kid can be yours,” he tells Kurt simply.

“I had a feeling you would say that.” Kurt pauses, scouring their cast iron pan. “Any chance you want to expand on your reasoning? Now that we’re actually having this discussion and the child is … less hypothetical?”

Blaine raises his eyebrows, putting the dishes in the dishwasher.

“Well. You’re technically an only child, so your ssss-eed should be passed on.”

Kurt lets out a bark of laughter. “That’s very kind of you. I would imagine Burt will be pleased.”

Blaine grins. He finds it forever delightful when Kurt refers to his father by his first name.

“But I know that’s not all of it. And we’ve sort of … touched upon these things before, but never really said them out right. Certainly never talked about it in terms of reality. Blaine, I just want to understand your thought process.”

Blaine sighs and then sets his mouth in a firm line. He closes the dishwasher, letting it slam just a little more than necessary. He turns and gets a beer out of the fridge and settles at the kitchen table, digging the heels of his hands into his eyes.

He sits back, takes a long swig of his beer and sets it in front of him.

“Okay. Bah-bah-ring on the line of questioning.”

Kurt crosses the room to the fridge pulling out his own beer and sitting across from Blaine, who makes a surprised face.

“Wow. A bah-bah-beer.”

Kurt shrugs. “Seems like the thing to do.”

Blaine nods soberly, peeling away at the edge of the label on his bottle.

“So, it’s about your speech right?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s not like your genes are doomed, Blaine.”

“But why take the chance?” Blaine vollies.

“It’s not like you’re passing on a life threatening disease.”

“But I could have a, a, a kid that has as shitty a childhood as I-I-I did.”

Kurt frowns. He wants to tread lightly here. He knows there are a lot of variables that made Blaine’s childhood shitty and one of them is without a doubt his father. And while Greg has changed into a completely different person, that doesn’t mean Kurt forgives him entirely for what he put Blaine through while he was growing up.

“That wasn’t completely the fault of your stutter,” Kurt says, measuring his words carefully, slowly.

Blaine sniffs a couple times and Kurt’s not sure if he’s crying or if he’s still getting over his cold that he had last week. He pillows his head in his arms and Kurt watches for a second as Blaine takes a deep breath, before going over to his side of the table and wrapping his arms around Blaine’s shoulders.

Blaine lifts his head up. “I’m not crying.”

“I didn’t say you were.”

“I’m centering mm-my chi,” he deadpans.

Kurt makes a serious face and nods.

Blaine rubs his hand over Kurt’s where it’s still resting on Blaine’s shoulder.

“I just … really want to be a good dah-dah-dad,” Blaine whispers. That’s not quite the full truth, there’s something else he needs to say, but he’s not sure he can yet. He’s not sure he can verbalize what he’s thinking.

“So you will be.”

“And I sssss-till would rather adopt. If we decide to have a second kid, I just really w-w-want to adopt. I think, I think there’s a kid out there ssss-somewhere who’s going to need us.”

“That’s fine. I like that idea.”

Blaine stands up, and they turn to face each other.

“Alright, let’s do this,” Blaine says resolutely.

Kurt lets out a whoop and they squeeze each other tightly.

The next day they set things in motion, calling DiDi, calling a lawyer, setting up a contract. No matter how good of friends they are with her, they know they need to have something in writing. It’s nothing formal or foreboding, but it’s better for everyone involved if they have some type of written agreement.

Blaine smiles and signs the papers and celebrates with everyone, but there’s a nagging at the back of his mind. A little thought he can’t shake.

It’s his quiet loser voice, rearing its ugly head, calling him out on the stupid shit he’s afraid of, that’s all, he tells himself. Except it’s not stupid shit. It’s real, legitimate adult worry.

Blaine doesn’t know how to talk about it, how to broach the topic that he fears the most. He tries to a couple times, almost coming up with the perfect opening.

His worry about being a father isn’t limited to his speech. He worries on an off about a hundred different things. And a couple weeks go by and he still can’t bring himself to say it. And then a few more weeks go by and he knows he needs to tell Kurt what’s eating away at him.

This all-consuming fear that he’s going to become his own father.

The bad part of his father.

Not this new guy. Not the one that turned over a new leaf. The one that used to knock him around to vent his own frustrations at this stupid world.

And the longer he goes without saying it, the harder it is to even think it.

Blaine does a good job hiding these feelings until his speech starts acting up. He hasn’t had any trouble with it in years, aside from the normal everyday stuff. Talking on the phone will never be his strong suit, speaking in front of a group of peers will never be anything he looks forward to. But basically since that time his senior year of college, Blaine hasn’t had any major setbacks. Or even a minor setback. But now with the reality of kids on the horizon, and the reality of trying to be a father, his speech is betraying him.

Blaine can’t fight it anymore.

All the work he puts into keeping his speech under control goes instead to keeping his innermost fears from leaking out all the time. All of his strength goes into keeping his mouth shut about the very thing he should be talking about.

It’s hard to see it that way when you’re in the midst of it.

It’s easy to let it take over.

And for Blaine it’s easier to blame to his speech on why he’s not talking, rather than the real issue at hand.

~~~~~

Kurt drops the subject of kids for a while. A month goes by, Blaine retreats; Kurt can see it every time he looks at him. He retreats physically and mentally. 

In March, Kurt takes a personal day, wanting to get a bunch of errands done, so he’s home before Blaine. He puts dinner in the oven, chicken and baked potatoes. He makes a salad and thinks he’ll sauté some asparagus. When Blaine gets home his mood is dark. It was not a great day.

“Hey!” Kurt exclaims with a big smile as Blaine comes through the door. “I made chicken!”

Blaine barely acknowledges Kurt’s greeting, stomping around, slamming doors.

“What’s up, poop?” Kurt asks when Blaine emerges from their bedroom in running clothes.

Blaine shrugs in response.

“Going for run?”

Blaine nods.

“Well, dinner will be ready in about a half hour...” Kurt trails off as Blaine’s already out the door.

He’s gone for over an hour. When dinner is ready, Kurt keeps it warming in the oven as his agitation grows. Blaine doesn’t do things like this. He might not always be the most talkative guy, but he’s never moody and he never shuts Kurt out.

Unless.

Kurt’s mind turns over the past few weeks, comparing them to the last time he felt like Blaine was shutting down like this. And that would have been Blaine’s senior of college, when his speech started acting up.

When Blaine stumbles back into the apartment, his face is red and his eyes look bleary. Kurt’s waiting for him in the living room.

“Please talk to me Blaine,” Kurt says.

Blaine sets his jaw, his mouth in a firm line. He can’t talk about it. He feels like punching the wall. He even looks at it, the cream colored wall right next to the kitchen doorway. Punching it would be so satisfying. Though with his luck he’d end up spending the evening in the emergency room with a broken hand.

Kurt is almost scared by Blaine’s ominous silence. “Please, Blaine. I want to know what’s going on with you.”

Blaine shrugs.

“Please?” Kurt’s near begging now. He doesn’t know what else to do, but he can sense how upset Blaine is. “Can you please try to explain it to me?”

Blaine can’t make eye contact; he doesn’t mean to be petulant. But it’s the first time in years, literally years, where the words will not engage. He had hoped that going for a run would clear up his head, would help him get his thoughts together. But he still can’t seem to talk; he could barely talk all day long. And not just that he’s having trouble, or needs to use a trick to get his voice started, to get the words to flow, but they just won’t happen. It’s terrifying and horrible and so embarrassing. So embarrassing even after all this time. Even in front of Kurt.

How could he potentially have a kid, and put them through this?

“Can you write it down for me?” Kurt grabs a piece of scrap paper from the coffee table, handing it to Blaine.

Blaine stares at the blank page for a moment.

“Poop?” 

As usual, Blaine feels the fight go out of him at that sound of Kurt’s voice using his pet name. He sighs and settles down on the couch. He starts to write and Kurt sits next to him, pressing his shoulder up to Blaine’s.

_First of all, I’m sorry I was a dick. Tonight, but also in general recently._

**It’s okay. I was surprised tonight, but I’m not mad.**

_Thank you. Second of all, it’s my speech. And I know how it happened and I know I could have stopped it, but I let it keep getting worse. I wanted to talk to you about it, but it’s all tied up in a too many other things and now I feel like I can’t quite control anything and that you’re going to be mad at me._

**Okay…**

_And I’ve been having a lot of trouble coming to terms with what’s been bouncing around in my head._

**I kind of figured that much out.**

_Okay. So. The problem, the crux of the issue, is that I’m terrified of becoming my father. I think it’s going to happen. I think it’s impossible for it not to happen. I’m so much like him. And I don’t want to put a kid through the same things I went through. And I know a lot of that was because of my stutter, and a lot of it was because of his stutter. But the more I thought about all this the worse my speech got and I didn’t want to talk to you about it so it was like I was lying to you. And then my speech got worse. And now it’s really bad. And I had such a shitty day. A shitty week. Hell, a shitty month even._

As Kurt reads this latest revelation, Blaine watches him as his face goes from neutral to sad to a hardened resolution.

Kurt reaches his hand to hand toward Blaine’s and he slides their fingers together, squeezing them, and then looking into Blaine’s eyes.

“That is a lot to take in,” Kurt says.

Blaine nods soberly, not quite meeting Kurt’s eyes.

“I could tell you you’re wrong and that you’re going to be a great dad and that all your worries are unfounded. And I know all of that is true. All of it. But, what do you need?”

Blaine’s face etches in confusion for a split second, and then he grins impishly, pulling the notebook back towards himself.

_Well I need a shower._

**Okay. When you’re done we’ll talk? Or write? Or whatever you want?**

_Maybe you should join me in the shower._

Kurt looks up at Blaine, who’s wiggling his eyebrows seductively.

A shower sounds like a good idea. Kurt thinks he can work with that.

The boys move into the bathroom. Blaine sheds his running clothes quickly and Kurt’s not far behind him.

They hop over the side of the tub, and Kurt has a devilish look on his face.

"Are you ready for this?"

Blaine grins and nods.

Kurt takes his hands and turns Blaine around around under the shower faucet, so his chest is to Blaine’s back.

"Remember the first time we did this," Kurt purrs into Blaine's ear. “Shower sex?”

Blaine nods and smiles. Over the years it’s sort of become a go to choice for them. 

"I had a split second of worry that you were going to drown giving me a blow job."

Blaine chuckles, already it seems like the weight of the day falling down the drain. He no longer feels like the world is an impossible place. Kurt's words and the steam in the shower, the nearness of his body makes Blaine's muscles contract and relax. His confession about everything he was worried about helped, but the feeling of Kurt still right by him even when he knows the worst thoughts in Blaine’s head always makes him feel loved. And it always makes him feel better.

Kurt runs his hands up and down Blaine’s arms, and massages his shoulders and neck, peppering kisses here and there, too. He feels Blaine start to loosen up under his touch. He winds his arm around Blaine’s waist and trails a finger up and down below Blaine’s belly button.

Blaine feels like everything starts to soften and the worlds gets fuzzy at the edges. He syncs his breath with Kurt’s and let’s himself just be.

Kurt palms Blaine's cock. Taking the tip and rubbing his thumb over it.

Blaine squeaks out a tiny noise of shock, trying to hold it back.

"You don't have to be quiet, Blaine," Kurt whispers against his neck. "Wouldn't it be nice just to make noise for once? There's nobody here. It's me and you."

"The neighbors," Blaine says, he keeps his eyes closed.

"If you're going to be loud enough for the neighbors to notice, I'll be shocked."

Blaine hums, his breaths becoming shorter as Kurt pumps away, starting to rub up against him from behind.

Blaine feels like his legs are noodles and they've barely even started.

"Are you ready?"

Blaine nods.

Kurt starts to jerk him off faster, his hand flying. He doesn’t want Blaine just to nod. He wants more from Blaine.

"Let me know," Kurt prods. “Tell me how it feels.”

Blaine hums, louder this time, still not quite letting go, unable to give in to this moment.

Kurt spins him around so fast, Blaine has to grab for the wall to keep his balance. Kurt drops to his knees and trails his tongue along Blaine's erection.

Blaine hisses at the new contact.

"Make some noise Blaine," Kurt admonishes.

In the back of Blaine's mind he notices that Kurt keeps calling him Blaine, as opposed to poop or some other generic pet name. Not that they really use generic pet names, but Kurt will come out with a honey or a sweetie every now and then, particularly while they're having sex. But tonight Kurt's different. Kurt isn't giving him options, Kurt's giving him commands.

And Blaine finds it incredibly ... freeing.

So he lets out a groan of pleasure as Kurt's mouth envelops him once more.

Kurt pulls back. "You can do better than that."

Blaine tries to think of a noise to make. He can't let himself be noisy, he doesn't know how. He can't seem to let go.

Kurt nips at the little pooch of his stomach.

"Eep!" Blaine shrieks.

"Better, but I want noise, Blaine."

Blaine lets out a growl.

Kurt shakes his head. "You need to make noise."

"I don't," Blaine huffs out. "I-I-I don't know what to, to, to do."

"Hold onto my shoulders," Kurt says. He backs Blaine up against the wall opposite the faucet so he doesn't bang his back. And then Kurt starts aggressively mouthing Blaine's cock. Blaine finally stops trying to process what’s happening and he just lets it happen.

Suddenly he finds himself able to make noise. To make all the noises that Kurt has been prodding him to make for the past 10 minutes. His mind goes blank and the noises pour out.

And he feels it. He feels something in him breaking down in the best way possible. What he needed more than Kurt’s support or acceptance, was physical intimacy. He’d been pushing him away for so long, he forgot how important it was to be near him like this. 

Later that night, when Blaine is relaxed and pliable, he and Kurt really talk. They make a few decisions. Blaine tells him he’s going to go back to speech therapy, for a quick refresher. They also decide to table the discussion of children a little longer, long enough to give Blaine some time to feel like he’s gaining control.

“I’m just so fucking mmm-mad at myself,” he admits.

“Don’t be,” Kurt insists. He plays with the hair at the back of Blaine’s neck and kisses his cheek.

“I-I-I-I could have s-s-s-said it weeks ago. I never do, do, do that anymore. I never hide things from you like that.”

Kurt shrugs. “I’d always rather discuss things with you, but only when you’re ready. I trust that when you’re ready to talk, you’ll talk to me.”

It’s then he lets himself cry a little bit, in bed with Kurt’s arms around him. And then he cries a little bit more, and when he’s done he feels better, even if the situation doesn’t feel fully resolved.

He’ll get there. They’ll get there.

They always do.


	13. Chapter 13

_Thanksgiving, 2023  
Blaine is 29, Kurt is 30_

“Do you think, you think, um, they’ll get it?” Blaine asks as they make their way through the airport the Wednesday before Thanksgiving.

“Get what?”

“Well, DiDi for starters,” Blaine says. Their plans are completely settled with DiDi. She’s working on a voiceover for some very top secret animated sequel, but she’ll be done in January and then she says it’ll be “baby time.” But before that, the boys need to actually tell their families that this is a reality. And they’ve decided to do it at Thanksgiving.

“Yeah, they’ll get it. I mean, I hope they’ll get it. There’s not much to get. They know this was an option we were exploring. They know we even started some paperwork on it earlier this year. She’s our friend, she’s offered us her uterus basically free of charge, we want to have a baby, and this will save us a shit ton of money in the long run.”

Blaine nods, but Kurt can tell he’s not quite making the dent with his words that he wants to be. He grabs Blaine’s hand, pulling him aside by the Dunkin Donuts kiosk, out of the way of bustling crowd around them.

“You want coffee?” Blaine asks, confusedly.

“Always. But what I really want is to make sure that you know we’re doing this for us. That you don’t have to worry about what our family thinks because this is our choice and our life.”

Blaine stares at Kurt. “I know,” he says slowly. “It’s a happy thing, and I, I, I want everyone to be happy with us.”

“Me too. But if they’re not happy or if they have reservations, or anything at all that seems contrary to what you and I are doing, I don’t want it to … mess with you. I want you to remember to be happy.”

This time Blaine nods with more conviction, putting his hands on Kurt’s shoulders and giving them a little massage. “Cause it’s me and you, right dumdum?”

“Of course,” Kurt says. Then he kisses Blaine’s nose and leads him down to their gate. “And the baby.”

“And the baby,” Blaine agrees.

“I hate how flying is all, all, like, hurry up and wait,” Blaine mutters as they take a couple of seats near the gate. He pulls out his iPad, preparing to settle in for a while.

“Am I allowed to say it?” Kurt asks, in a hushed whisper, dipping his head close to Blaine’s ear.

Blaine whips his head up, his face alarmed. “Don’t you dare …” Blaine starts, just as Kurt interrupts him.

“Your speech is perfect today,” Kurt exclaims triumphantly.

Blaine sighs dramatically and leans back in his chair, flailing a bit and almost knocking his iPad off his lap.

“You are the worst,” he groans. “You’ve ruined everything. Why do you insist on, on, on teasing me like this?”

“Cause you’re so gosh darn cute and dumb and endearing,” Kurt says, poking Blaine in the stomach repeatedly.

“I don’t like you, buh, but I love you,” Blaine concedes, sitting up and returning to his game of sudoku.

Kurt flips open his magazine and he gets down to the business of waiting, a smile on his face thanks to the never-ending silliness that is his husband. He side eyes Blaine as they sit there together, watching his expression change as he solves the puzzle.

It hasn’t been easy these last 6 or 7 months, what with Blaine having so much trouble with his stutter, Kurt having to travel a lot for work, and their postponement of baby planning. But now things seem to be sliding back into place and Kurt feels good, great even, wonderful some might say, about their decision. Kurt really isn’t worried about their family’s reaction, he knows that they’ll support Blaine and him no matter what, but Blaine is a worrier, so Kurt does his best to assuage his concerns while not making him feel bad.

And Kurt knows that no matter what, they’re ready. Now it’s just time to tell the world.

~~~~~

The first 12 hours they spend at the Anderson’s is perfectly normal, ho-hum even. Things go smoothly with their pick up from the airport and the late dinner they eat with Greg and Michelle. The next morning the turkey gets into the oven bright and early, and everyone is in a collective good mood.

But the first thing that takes a turn for the worse is the weather forecast.

“Looks like a clipper’s moving through,” Greg says to Kurt and Blaine as they settle into the loveseat across from him in the family room. They had been in the kitchen asking Michelle if she needed help with any of the cooking, but she shooed them away, saying everything was under control and that they should get themselves some coffee and go hang out in the family room with Greg. So they did.

“My dad says they’re coming no matter what,” Kurt says. “He says he’s not sure he would know what to do on Thanksgiving without you guys and no silly clipper is going to keep him home.”

Michelle comes in the room then, taking the spot on the couch next to Greg. “I’m not sure we’d know what to do either,” she agrees.

“How’s everything going?” Greg asks, squeezing her knee.

“Oh just fine! I love my new stove,” Michelle gushes.

“Did she tell you about the new stove?” Greg asks, his voice teasing. There was a time when Blaine would have assumed his father was mocking his mom, but he’s holding back a barely contained smile and his eyes dance, particularly when he glances over at his wife.

“Approximately seven times,” Blaine deadpans. “The day she thought about buy-buying it, the day she decided to buy it, the, the, the day she ordered it, the day it was delivered, the first time she cooked chicken in it, the sss-second time she cooked chicken in it, and last night when when we got here. She actually told me to, me to, um, stick my head in it. And when I wouldn’t, she made Kurt.” Blaine ticks these off on his fingers, his grin getting wider as he goes.

“Yeah, like we’re Sylvia Plath or something,” Kurt says, jumping in on the Michelle teasing.

“Hey, first of all,” Michelle begins in her defense, “It’s a great oven. I just wanted you both to see how roomie it is. And second of all, bud, your speech is really perfect today.”

Blaine doesn’t even bother voicing a response; he just groans and hides his face.

“I don’t know why he’s so superstitious about it,” Michelle says to Kurt and Greg.

A few minutes later, Michelle is back to tsk-ing in the kitchen when Blaine wanders in to take a banana from the fruit bowl.

“I forgot cranberry sauce,” she says.

Blaine shrugs. “Tell Cooper to b-b-b-ring some.”

She picks up the phone and does just that while checking the turkey in the oven. Blaine eats a boiled potato that’s meant for mashing as he wanders back out of the room, his mom swatting him with an oven mitt on his way out.

Carole and Burt arrive just after noon, followed a few minutes later by Finn, his very pregnant wife Kristin, and their daughter Hannah. After the usual round of greetings and oohing and ahhing over Kristin’s belly and due date, Burt scoops Hannah up in his arms and she immediately starts crying. No one can figure out why Hannah doesn’t warm up to Burt, but they suppose that since she’s only two it’s her prerogative. But that doesn’t keep Burt’s feelings from being hurt. Particularly when she does things like try to throw herself into Greg’s arms, the nearest adult.

Greg smiles and coos at the toddler in his arms and Blaine smiles just thinking about how next year at this time his dad might be holding Blaine and Kurt’s baby. He and Kurt keep their mouths shut for now though. They decided to wait until the entire family is assembled to tell them their news. They want to take their time and present the news calmly and logically, explaining things so everyone understands.

In the midst of Hannah’s meltdown (and Burt’s inner turmoil that’s readable all over his face), Cooper comes through the door, two year old Sabine under his right arm and five year old Jasper under his left. Katinka brings up the rear, holding up a large bag of fresh cranberries.

“Fresh cranberries!” Michelle says, plastering a smile on her face.

“Yes, Cooper said we must bring cranberries,” Katinka answers, kissing both of Michelle’s cheeks. “I told him that we needed the canned kind, but he insisted you said fresh.”

Michelle turns around, about to give Cooper a piece of her mind, having explicitly told him that she wanted Ocean Spray Whole Berry Cranberry Sauce. And then she repeated it, and then she asked if he wrote it down.

Blaine knows his mom’s on edge already today, worrying about the turkey and the weather, going into full hostess mode, so Blaine jumps in.

“I’m sure we can find a, a, a great recipe for fresh cranberry s-s-s-sauce,” he says, giving Katinka a hug and then hugging Cooper and the kids, taking a second to ruffle Jasper’s hair. He knows he shouldn’t play favorites. He already has a nephew and two nieces, and more on the way, but he has such a soft spot for Jasper. Maybe it’s because Jasper was the first baby in the family, or maybe it’s because he looks so much like Cooper, but Blaine can never get enough of him. And now Jas is already 5 and Blaine can’t believe how big he’s gotten since he saw him over the summer. So he hauls Jasper into the kitchen with him, (after Jasper says hi to all the grandparents first of course) to help him whip up some cranberry sauce.

A quick Google and they’re literally cooking in no time.

Of course things don't ever go just the way you plan and soon there are more issues than cranberries and the snow that's been falling steadily for an hour.

The first thing that happens is Hannah knocking over Greg's wine glass on the new beige carpet in the living room. Michelle had expressly asked him not to take his wine in there and Greg expressly did not heed her warning. He wanted to let the baby bang on the piano and he figured he would keep the wineglass well out of her reach.

When they do finally sit down to eat, Kurt sits across the table from Sabine, who claims to be a vegetarian. She's precocious for two, that's for sure. So Katinka gives her mashed potatoes and broccoli and stuffing and a little dab of cranberry sauce. She takes one lick of it and quickly flings her little pile across the table, directly into Kurt's face and hair.

Blaine looks at him, blinking and tries not to laugh.

"Come on dumdum," he says, "I'll help you clean that up."

They head into the downstairs powder room and Kurt sits on the closed toilet lid while Blaine plucks cranberries out of his hair.

"I feel like I'm your ape mmm-mother or something," Blaine mutters.

"I feel like we're not supposed to tell them today," Kurt says.

Blaine looks at him questioningly, tossing cranberry bits into the sink behind him.

"I feel like all of these little inconveniences are the universe's way of telling us NOT TODAY BOYS!"

Blaine chuckles but doesn't respond.

"I mean no canned cranberries, the snowstorm, the wine, the food in my hair. What else has to happen for us to get the picture?"

“So, maybe w-w-we should wait,” Blaine says, shrugging.

At that very moment, there's a shriek from the dining room and Finn's voice ringing out "Oh my God! Are you in labor?"

Blaine and Kurt ditch their clean up and head back into the dining room, where the scene before them is like something out of performance art. Michelle has all of the kids backed into the corner to keep them out of the way, and a death grip on Hannah who's yelling up a storm.

"Mommy, Daddy! Mommy, Daddy!" she yelps over and over again.

Carole and Cooper each have a hold on one of Kristin's elbows, with Carole murmuring soothingly to Kristin. Greg, Katinka, and Burt each hold a dish that was on the table, because Kristin's hands are bunched up in the table cloth and yanking it closer by the minute. Luckily the Turkey was being cut on the buffet or it would have gone over by now. Finn had already run out the door the start cleaning off the 3 inches of snow that had fallen, leaving the door to flap open in the wind.

"Um," is basically all Blaine can get out before Finn comes rushing back into the room, snow stuck to his hair and shoulders.

"There's a tree down at the end of the block, but I think if I drive through the uppermost branches..." He trails off as Kristin slumps into a chair, Carole still fussing about, telling Cooper to go get her a glass of water.

"Gimme a second," she huffs out.

Finn breathes. In fact, the whole room takes a collective breath.

“Pretty sure it was Braxton Hicks,” Kristin says, and this time the whole room collectively sighs. Except for Hannah who continues saying “Mommy, Daddy,” while crying into Michelle’s shoulder.

Finn kneels down next to her. “You sure? I could make it through the tree if I had to.”

Kristin smiles and puts a hand on his face, “It’s fine. I think it was a contraction and a major kick at the same moment.” She looks around the room sheepishly. “Sorry about the tablecloth yanking.”

The room laughs. Michelle hands Hannah over to Finn, and starts getting the tablecloth back into place so they can continue their meal.

“Kurt and I are going to have a b-b-baby!” Blaine exclaims in the middle of everything. “With DiDi. Like, not right now, and not yet, but soon.” 

The tableau before them changes as faces smile and voices soften.

It’s good news, and everyone knows it.

Even in the midst of what might the most intense and nerve-wracking holiday the two families have ever experienced, they know what a big deal this is for the boys.

They all start hugging and talking and congratulating at once.

When they sit back down to toast, Kurt holds up his glass.

“To the Anderson, Hudson, Hummel Thanksgiving Riot of 2023,” he says.

And everyone laughs.

While the day didn’t go exactly as planned, and everyone ends up camped out at the Anderson’s until tomorrow when plows can come through, it’s definitely going to down in history as one of the most memorable holidays on record.


	14. Chapter 14

_February, 2024  
Blaine is 29, Kurt is 30_

DiDi takes a 12 month lease on an apartment in the city while she’s pregnant. She’s been living with Ben in San Diego while he finishes his residency, but she feels like it was more important to be close to the Blaine and Kurt while she’s carrying their child.

“This way you can feel the kicking and all that joyous crap,” she explains.

For their part, Kurt and Blaine spend a few months looking for the perfect apartment, something with two bedrooms, not too steep a price tag, and a lot of light. Better known as “everyone’s ideal apartment.” They start their search in Manhattan, but eventually winding up looking in Brooklyn, too.

They have multiple conversations that go something like this:

“The fact that this apartment listing only has a picture of the bathroom to represent it makes me feel like we should keep looking.”

“But what if it’s the, the, the diamond in the rrrr-rough!” Blaine is always very positive during their apartment searches, certain that they’re bound to be getting close after months of trying. They’ve been living in their current apartment for almost 7 years. It’s the only place they’ve ever lived together and Blaine thinks that might be part of Kurt’s problem.

“What if it’s just rough? And our baby gets tetanus the first day we bring them home? Or it’s above some kind of very smelly food establishment? What if our baby smells of garlic all the time?”

Blaine looks at him skeptically, but then his face brightens. “All I-I-I know is that I’m finally going to b-b-b-become a hipster Kurt. My penchant for interesting facial hair and threadbare flannel will be, be, be appreciated. They are my people.”

This process is repeated until they find the perfect place. Two bedrooms, not too far from the subway, in a good neighborhood, with a park across the street, with actual families that seem to be using it.

The day they sign the lease, Blaine knows that Kurt isn’t happy.

“It’s because you dah-don’t want to, to, to leave our current apartment, isn’t it?”

Kurt hmphs in response.

Blaine twines their fingers together as they sit side by side on the subway. “This is a good change!” Blaine says.

“I know. It just feels fast,” Kurt admits. “I liked it better when you were the hesitant one and I was the strong one.”

Blaine grins and then kisses Kurt’s cheek. “Well, we can’t bah-both be hesitant at the sssss-same time or else nothing will ever get done.”

Kurt nods.

“And we’re going to have a b-b-b-baby.”

Kurt nods again.

“So like if the kid st-st-starts screaming, we can’t bah-both be like ‘um, oh no, what do we do?’ and both try to lunge at it and then back away.”

Kurt starts to smile.

“And like we can’t both worry about whether it’s hungry or tired or wet. We need to take action.”

Kurt smiles more, enjoying Blaine’s sort of unnecessary soliloquy about parental responsibility.

“And when the baby needs a bath, we can’t worry about silly things like whose turn it is, or who got peed on last. We must clean our baby!”

The subway car is mostly empty, so Blaine stands up now, getting more and more into his diatribe.

“We shall not be scared of our own baby! We shall take action!”

“You’re a little weird, you know that?” Kurt says, as Blaine pulls him into a standing position.

“I know. But it’s more fun mmm-my way, right?”

Kurt has to agree. Everything is more fun Blaine’s way.

~~~~~

_August 2024_

_Things to do:_

_A checklist by Blaine_ **(addended by Kurt)**

 _-Buy nursery basics_  
-Wash baby clothes (that Kurt has been buying since the moment we found out DiDi was pregnant.) **[There’s nothing wrong with being prepared.]**  
 _-Paint the second bedroom yellow_  
 **(I’m still not sure why we’re not allowed to find out the gender of the baby it would make shopping so much easier. And I’m so curious and I want to know NOW. And then we could paint the bedroom a lovely mauve or robin’s egg blue.)**  
 _[Do I really have to say it?]_  
 **(Say what?)**  
 _[WE COULD PAINT EITHER OF THOSE COLORS ANYWAY.]_  
 **(We could, sure. Fine. But I CAN’T CHOOSE BETWEEN THEM AND THUS IT GOES BACK TO FINDING OUT THE GENDER.)**  
 _[Shaking my head.]_  
-Pick a name.  
 **[Again, this would be easier if you would just LET US FIND OUT THE GENDER.)**  
 _[KURT. Stop it! I told you you could find out if you want!]_  
 **(I DON’T WANT TO KNOW IF YOU DON’T KNOW.)**  
 _[That’s not my problem.]_  
 **(I will make it your problem.)**  
 _[OooOooOooO. I’m so scared.]  
-Find a pediatrician._

**You wasted a whole piece of paper on a list with only five points?**  
 _Don’t judge me. I was going to add, “freak out,” “cry,” and “generally have a nervous breakdown.”_

~~~~~

_August 2024_

11:07 am  
Blaine: Are you taking Lamaze?

11:08 am  
DiDi: No.

11:09 am  
Blaine: Would you consider taking Lamaze so we could go to Lamaze classes?

11:11 am  
DiDi: No.

11:12 am  
Blaine: Good talk. Have a nice day. Thank you for your time.

11:13 am  
DiDi: No. (I apologize for my brevity but it’s too GOD DAMN hot to deal with anything and my stomach is GIGANTIC. AND ALL I WANT IS AN ICED LATTE AND NOT FUCKING DECAF.)

11:15 am  
Blaine: Sorry DiDi.

11:16 am  
DiDi: It’s okay. I feel better now.

~~~~~

_October 2024_

The nurse is walking DiDi up and down the hall when she sees those two doofuses fly past the maternity hallway. Kurt is holding the world’s largest teddy bear and Blaine looks like he might throw up.

She asks the nurse if she would mind going down the hall after them, but in the same breath they come skidding back around the corner.

"DiDi!" Kurt exclaims with a squeak.

"DiDi!" Blaine hisses in a stage whisper, looking pointedly at Kurt.

"Hey guys," DiDi says, in a normal voice, making a most normal facial expression and blinking at them normally.

They both kiss her on the cheek and then she rolls her eyes fondly at them for being such dorks.

"You rrr-ready for this?" Blaine asks, his voice full of emotion and his face splitting into a grin.

"I was born ready," she tells him. He gives her a high five, because he’s Blaine and it seems like the thing to do to the woman who’s about to have a baby for him and his husband.

Blaine’s brain is going a mile a minute, as is his heartbeat. He’s trying to act normal, but from the way Kurt and DiDi are looking at him as they walk back to the maternity suite, he knows he’s acting very not normal.

Blaine sits next to Kurt in a chair by DiDi's bedside, seemingly having contractions himself.

"What is your damage?" Kurt whispers as the doctor checks DiDi over.

"I think I'm having sympathy pain," he whispers.

"I think you're having flashbacks of that episode of Friends."

"It's kidney stones," Blaine says in the same accent as the doctor. There’s something about quoting sitcoms that always makes him feel a little bit better, but this time it isn’t having the same effect.

"Exactly," Kurt says his voice soft and soothing.

“I think I’m going to p-p-pass out,” Blaine mutters. He leans his elbows on his knees and puts his head in his hands. Kurt rubs his back in slow circles, trying to help Blaine calm down. Blaine concentrates on breathing deeply and his heart rate calms down.

"Would you two please pay attention to me!? I am currently in the process of fucking giving birth to your fucking child." DiDi yells, in a most un-DiDi-like fashion.

"Sorry DiDi," Blaine says, chastised.

"Yeah, DiDi, we're sorry, we'll be more attentive," Kurt says. "It's just that Blaine..."

"I don't give a flying fuck about Blaine's false labor that's based on an episode of Friends!" DiDi shouts, digging her fingertips into the bed sheet.

"What can we dah-do?" Blaine asks.

"Yeah, something, let us do something?" Kurt says, flustered, and sort of feeling desperate to get out of the room.

"Nothing," she sighs. "I'm just so done with this girl."

"WHAT?" Kurt and Blaine yell at the same time.

"Yes, yes, you're having a daughter. Sorry for spilling, blah blah blah." DiDi rolls her eyes, her latest contraction ebbing and she's feeling a bit more like herself now. "I'm also sorry for yelling at you. And I'm sorry for saying blah blah blah. I know that hurts Blaine's feelings or whatever."

The boys just smile and give her a hug.

Blaine pats DiDi's stomach. "We can't wait to see you Adelaide," he whispers.

DiDi smiles. She can't help it. These boys are going to be great dads. Even if they are idiots.

The boys take their little Adelaide Anderson-Hummel home with them the next day.

They hold her and bounce her and watch her sleep. They lay her in the bassinet in their room and they smile and coo over her. They poke at each other and smile and make sure she's still sleeping.

"What do we do with her now?" Blaine whispers, not taking his eyes off of Addie.

"I think we make sure she doesn't die," Kurt whispers back.

At that moment Addie's eyes open and she stares at the two of them like they are the lowest forms of life she has ever seen.

"I think she knows that we're not p-pah-par-ticularly capable of ssss-such a feat," Blaine says.

"We should probably stop talking about what terrible parents we are in front of our child."

"Yeah, if she knew how b-b-bad we sucked, she would totally roll out of her b-b-b-bassinet and out the dah-door and down the stairs and hail a cab and start a, a, a new life on her own."

"She might," Kurt agrees. "But luckily she doesn't know how to roll over yet."

She doesn't need much tending at the moment, just feeding and diaper changing. She doesn't cry much at all after they bring her home, which in hindsight they realize was basically a miracle.

Though it could be because she barely ever left their arms. Both men took family leave from work, unable to face the idea of being withour her during those first weeks.

DiDi comes over a few days later. She and Ben bring them Chinese take-out and extra bottles. 

Then she holds up a little gift bag and says “Halloween’s next week, so I thought she should have a costume.”

Kurt holds the baby while Blaine joyfully pulls the costume out of the gift bag.

“This is amazing,” he says, holding up a newborn sized hot dog costume and grinning at Kurt.

“He really does think it’s amazing,” Kurt adds. “He’s been trying to eat her the past two days.”

“She’s just so cute! And she’ll make the mmm-most adorable hot dog ever!” Blaine kisses DiDi on the cheek and thanks her.

They spend the evening staring at the baby, passing her around, oohing and ahhing over ever face she makes, every little snuffle that escapes her perfect tiny baby mouth.

Addie's growing already during the first few weeks. She regains every ounce she lost after birth in no time. She's a hearty eater and a happy baby. She makes more noise than they thought a newborn would ever make. She loves mirrors and any time it seems like she might be on the verge of a break down, one of them holds her up to the big mirror in the living room and she becomes enraptured with the reflection.

Matt and Julia come over often, and Rachel and Puck. Tina and her boyfriend. Chad stops by, and Matt's sister Erin drops in with a onesie that says "Maybe the dingo ate your baby." Blaine laughs for far too long.

A few more weeks pass and their families take a trip out to see them for Thanksgiving weekend. It's a quiet family affair, particularly when compared to last year's riot.

The boys agree this is probably the best time of their entire lives. They live in a bit of a dream world, walking on air.

It lasts a long time. The two months after Addie’s born are just about perfect. She learns to smile and she watches them. She tries to eat her fingers and her toes almost as often as Blaine tries to. 

The Saturday before Christmas, Addie just isn’t right. She’s whining more, her breath comes in wheezes, and her eyes are glassy.

“What’s her temperature?” Blaine asks, his voice rising a bit in panic.

“I don’t know, Blaine! How would I know that!”

“Well, you are currently holding a thermometer. I-I-I made the leap to the fact that you already took her temperature.”

“Oh. Yeah. 100.4.”

Blaine nods. “Is that bah-bad? Or really b-b-b-bad?”

“Where’s the book? What’s the book say?”

Blaine starts tossing things around on the coffee table. “Or I could just call mmm-my mom?”

Kurt bounces Addie in his arms. Her tiny face is beet red, her baby fine hair matted with her own tears. Kurt kisses her temple.

“Call your mom. I think we could all use a mom right now.”

Blaine smiles and nods.

A quick call to his mom and she says that if Addie’s fever gets any higher, then take her to the doctor, the emergency room even if that makes them feel better. But don’t worry too much right now and see how she does through the night.

Her fever breaks sometime around midnight and she falls in a deep and quiet sleep. They do take her to the doctor the next day, just in case.

It never hurts to be careful.


	15. Chapter 15

_Summer 2025  
(Blaine and Kurt are 31. Addie is between 9 and 11 months.)_

Blaine loves being a dad. He loves everything about it, even the not so glamorous parts.

And that’s why he’s thrilled to have the whole summer to spend with Addie. Being at home with her for these months is definitely one of the perks of being a teacher.

He signs them up for a variety of activities, all baby themed of course. Baby gym, baby story time at the library, baby swimming. One of their neighbors is part of a baby playgroup that she invited them to, so he thinks he might as well give it a try too. He knows that he’ll want to keep the afternoons quiet, but he might as well fill up a lot of the mornings so he doesn’t go brain dead playing peek-a-boo and a game Blaine invented called “I’m gonna eat your face.” Addie never stops giggling while he pretends to eat her face, as the name indicates.

Blaine spends most of June planning their summer. Kurt has a week off at the beginning of July so they’ll do some fun family stuff then, but mostly it’ll just be Blaine and Addie during the day for the next two months.

It’s the Friday after school lets out and Kurt is pouting.

“I’m just sad that I don’t get to spend all this time with you,” he says to Addie.

“She probably wah-won’t even like you any more once she ssss-tarts spending all this time with me,” Blaine says nonchalantly, putting away dinner dishes. He knows why Kurt’s being petulant and he can’t help but tease him about it. Because Addie’s a baby and Kurt takes things too personally sometimes.

“You’ll still like me won’t you, little girl?” Kurt asks and then peppers her face with kisses. Addie shrieks with laughter.

“That probably w-w-wasn’t a happy shriek,” Blaine says nonchalantly, not looking at them. “She’s already sssss-tarting to dislike you. I can tell.”

“Oh really? You don’t think it was a happy shriek?” Kurt walks over next to Blaine and leans Addie’s very happy face into Blaine’s line of sight. “How do you like them apples?” Kurt asks.

“I like them very much. I like them so much I think I will eat them.” And then Blaine pretends to bite Addie’s cheeks and she giggles and tries to wiggle away.

Kurt leans back. “You do the weirdest baby voice.”

“Me! I do a weird b-b-baby voice?! Your baby voice sounds like Patrick from Spongebob mixed with a southern bah-belle.”

“Hmph.”

“My b-b-baby voice is normal.”

“You talk to her like she’s a grown up.”

“What? I-I-I would never try to eat a, a, a grown up’s cheeks,” Blaine says confusedly.

“What were you saying to her the other day? You were like ‘Addie is a good infant.’ And ‘Addie is an intelligent baby.’”

Blaine’s mouth hangs open. “I read in the b-b-baby bah-book to talk to her like you would talk to anyone else and not like Patrick Star with a ssss-southern accent.”

“And when you clap for her you always say ‘correct!’ like you’re Alex Trebek and she just won final Jeopardy.”

Blaine laughs. “Well, yeah. Might as well praise her.”

Kurt smiles at Blaine, thinking about how much he loves that they’re still like this after all these years. That spending an evening with Blaine in their kitchen is just as much fun as he could ever imagine.

Blaine moves in a little closer and kisses Kurt’s cheek.

“What’s that for?”

“For still being the mmm-most fun person I know.”

“I was just thinking the same thing about you.”

“Great minds think alike,” Blaine says.

After that they bring Addie into their bed for a while, reading her a story. Blaine is a firm believer in reading to babies even though Addie is more interested in trying to eat the book. After that they put her in her room, wind the mobile that Kurt insists is the creepiest thing on earth but Addie loves, and head out to the living to catch up on whatever the DVR has caught in the past week.

~~~~~

It’s the Monday morning after Kurt’s week off. He bitches and moans through his morning routine, not wanting to leave.

“Why must I be the breadwinner?” he asks again as he heads out the door.

“You don’t have to be. It’s just that mmm-my job is flexible and perfect and your job is unyielding and only gives you four weeks of vacation a year.”

“I should have been a teacher,” Kurt grumbles.

Blaine shrugs. “You have to go and I-I-I have to stay here with our perfect b-b-baby and make her like me more than you.”

Kurt gives him a dirty look before kissing him on the cheek and closing the door behind him.

“So, now what little girl?” Blaine asks looking at Addie.

She makes an expression like she’s really thinking it over before spitting up some mashed banana onto Blaine’s t-shirt.

“Thank you for that.”

A little while later, Blaine has cleaned them both up and gotten them ready to leave, he hauls the stroller and the baby down the stairs, muttering the whole time about how he begged Kurt to pick the apartment with the elevator, but Kurt prefers brownstones. And this one had roof access, and a back garden, and a sunlit dining room.

“But he rarely has to deal with this alone,” Blaine continues muttering.

Once outside, things seem a little brighter. He puts Addie in her stroller and takes a deep breath. The street actually smells clean instead like car exhaust. They walk down to the baby gym, which is several blocks farther than Blaine had in his head. And of course the sun is beating down on them. He flicks the stroller shade over Addie, not wanting to expose her baby fine skin to the summer sun.

When they finally get to the store front, Blaine breathes a sigh of relief. Walking in he finds an adorable little sign that says “stroller parking!” So, he parks the stroller, lifts Addie out and scans the room.

Which is crawling (literally) with babies and mostly moms. There’s one dad over in the corner, taking multiple pictures with his phone as his toddler peeks out from inside of a some kind of tube. All the other adults in the room seem to know each other and are deep into conversations while they watch their kids play.

“I’m gonna need your help with this one,” he whispers into Addie’s ear. Somehow he hadn’t really thought much about interacting with the other grown-ups. He figured he would need to be paying a lot of attention to Addie and there wouldn’t need to be any socializing. It seems he was wrong.

At that moment a woman dressed in yoga pants and a “Little Gym” t-shirt with a high perky ponytail calls for everyone’s attention.

“Let’s sit in a circle and get this started!” She yells with a smile on her face so broad Blaine’s pretty sure it must be fake. No one is that excited about baby gym.

There are stars clearly marking where to sit and he picks a red one. He settles Addie on his lap and she starts babbling and trying to shove her foot in her mouth.

“Very good,” he whispers. “Limber up for your floor routine.”

The woman next to him barks a laugh as she tries to wrangle her very wiggly son onto her lap.

He looks over at her and offers a self-conscious grin and shrug. He didn’t think anyone would be able to hear him.

“Alright! Hello everyone. I’m Smita!” The instructor says, clapping her hands. “I see some new faces today, so let’s go around and introduce ourselves.”

Blaine’s stomach plummets. He considers crawling out the door, but he’s not sure he could accomplish that while holding Addie. Also Kurt would kill him if he abandoned their orchid and gray, top of the line Maclaren stroller and it’s currently blocked in by several other strollers.

And then the worst thing happens, and Smita looks directly at him and says, “How about we let the new dad go first?”

He hates that at 31 years old, having to introduce himself is one of the worst things that can happen to him during the day.

He swallows hard and takes a deep breath. Addie’s little hands squeeze his point fingers.

“Um. This is Addie,” he says.

Smita nods and smiles. “And you are?”

He clears his throat and blinks hard a few times. “Bah.”

He licks his lips, it feels like his throat is closing off.

The other parents are all looking now, not even paying attention to the kids in their laps or on the floor in front of them, or the one that ran away and is now swinging on one of the parallel bars.

“Eeeeee!” comes a loud shriek from Addie, breaking the tension, all the moms look at her and smile.

He lets out a sigh and then his name tumbles from his mouth. “Blaine,” he says.

After that things improve. Smita blows bubbles and the babies crawl around on the big parachute. They play by one of the bars where the babies have to hold on and the parents help them stand. Addie seems to really be enjoying it, so Blaine will definitely have to bring her back.

As they leave one of the moms corners him and starts talking his ear. Luckily he has plans with Chad for lunch. He tells her as much and then scurries off to the nearest subway stop.

At lunch, they sit outside because Addie’s in the mood to screech and the noise at least dissipates on the street. She’s not very interested in letting Blaine eat his lunch though. Every time he tries to put her back into her stroller she starts to cry. Chad offers to hold her while Blaine gets a couple of mouthfuls of salad.

“Anyway, this lady would not ssss-top talking. Telling me all about how her precious angel Mattingly...”

“Mattingly as in Dah-dah-on?” Chad interrupts. He bounces Addie on his knee, trying to get her to stop whining. When he stutters she stares up at him. “Why is she looking at, at, ah, at me like that?”

“She really likes it when I st-stutter. She must just like st-stuttering in general,” Blaine says with a shrug.

“So, Mattingly’s mmm-mom...” Chad says, getting Blaine back to the subject at hand.

“Oh just that Mattingly’s a genius and she knows how to, to, to talk and she’s only 8 months old. And I wanted to be like ‘lady, if Mattingly’s such a genius then why was she licking that other kid’s ear for 10 mmmm-minutes.’”

Chad laughs. “Parents man. They’re so de-lu-lu-lusional.”

“Oh, for sure. I’m totally d-d-delusional about Addie.”

“No, no. You’re totally realistic about Addie. She’s obviously the, the, the most precious perfect angel that the world has ever known.” Chad pulls her upright on his lap, so that she’s standing on her knees facing Blaine. “I mean, ju-ju-just look at her.”

Blaine does. “She is perfect.” He reaches out to swipe at her nose with a napkin, but she bucks wildly in Chad’s lap.

“Dude, why do you hate getting your nose w-w-wiped?” Blaine asks seriously. “Don’t you know how much b-b-better you feel when it’s clean?”

“You ju-ju-just called your 9 month old daughter dude.”

“I’ll call her whatever I-I-I want to call her,” Blaine says petulantly.

They continue their meal and when it’s time for Chad to head back to work they walk him to his office.

“Well, it was a pleasure to see you, Miss Addie,” Chad says in a silly voice, shaking her hand. She looks at him like he’s crazy.

“Blaine,” Chad says, tipping his imaginary hat.

“Chad. We’ll have to do this again soon. I’ve got all ss-ss-ummer to fill,” Blaine says as they give each other a quick hug.

“Shoot me a text, anytime.”

They part ways and Blaine and Addie head back to Brooklyn.

~~~~~

The next few weeks go along like that. They usually have some activity a few mornings a week. Sometimes they head into the city afterwards to meet up with Kurt, or Matt, or Chad for lunch. Sometimes they just head home and spend the afternoon enjoying the air conditioning and lounging around the apartment.

Addie seems to get bigger and sillier and happier every day.

Blaine makes a point of talking to her a lot. He really wants to surprise Kurt with her saying “Daddy” soon. So he talks about himself in the third person pretty much constantly, but no dice. Addie’s not so interested in talking.

What she is interested in is walking. She’s not there yet, but by the middle of August she starts pulling herself up on the coffee table, and the side tables, and the kitchen chairs, and the night stands. Blaine spends a lot of time chasing after her and moving the valuables out reach.

He gives her a lick of his frozen yogurt one day and once she gets over the shocking cold she becomes a frozen yogurt fiend, sobbing any time he and Kurt have a cup or a cone of it and they don’t share with her.

“You’ve created a monster,” Kurt tells him one evening as they sit outside on a bench near the park.

“Ee. Ee. Ee. Ee,” Addie says, bouncing in her stroller. Blaine’s pretty sure “Ee” is Addie’s way of saying “Me” or maybe even her own name, and it basically means “Give me that shit now or so help me I will scream bloody murder.”

“I know. But how mmm-many more times do I have to apologize for this?” Blaine asks.

“At least 10 more times,” Kurt says with a grin.

“EE! EE! EE!” Addie screams louder. Kurt finally gives her another taste of his cone and she settles down into her seat and actually seems to savor the taste for a while before begging for more.

Labor Day weekend the pulling up on every horizontal surface in the house turns into a few tentative steps and Blaine’s just happy that Kurt’s around to see it.

Blaine hates to admit that he’s relieved the summer is coming to a close. He loves being home with Addie, but he misses the everyday school routine. On the first day back, Blaine brings her to a small day care near his school that only takes in teacher’s kids. It came highly recommended by one of his co-workers.

He passes her off to one of the workers, Grace, and kisses Addie’s cheek. As he’s about to leave, he hears Addie yell. “Da!”

Blaine whips around and makes a surprised face at her. “Da?” he says.

“Ba ta!” she babbles.

He walks back over to her. “No! You said Da! I-I-I heard you!”

“I heard it too,” Grace agrees.

“Pa ba,” she says a bit more solemnly.

“No! But you said Da,” Blaine repeats, frowning at her.

Addie just looks at him with round eyes and a neutral expression. He kisses her forehead.

“I’ll see you later,” he tells her. “Bye bye.” He waves at her and she waves back. When he’s about to walk out the door he hears her again.

“Da!” she screams. “Da!”

He turns around and shakes his head. “Now you’re just teasing mmm-me.”

“Pa ta ba,” she says.

He grins the whole way to work.


	16. Chapter 16

_August 2026  
Blaine and Kurt are 32, Addie is 22 months._

“How do you feel about mmm-maybe going to Matt and Julia’s this weekend?” Blaine asks one Wednesday morning as he gets Addie ready to go to toddler swim.

“For what purpose?” Kurt asks.

“Well, we could dah-dah-rive out Friday night and then Matt and I could golf on Saturday and you could sssss-tay at the house and keep Julia company. Or go outlet shopping!”

“Blaine. Julia broke three bones in her foot the other day by dropping some type of carved stone artifact on it, I don’t think she wants to go outlet shopping.”

“So, you could just hang out,” Blaine says with a shrug.

“Was this Julia’s idea?” Kurt asks. Matt and Blaine are always coming up with various harebrained schemes that their spouses have to temper. And while this one isn’t particularly harebrained, Kurt wants to make sure it has Julia’s blessing and they’re not just showing up on a Matt/Blaine whim.

“Yes. She knows. It’s s-s-sanctioned.”

“Sure. Let’s do it,” Kurt says.

Blaine finishes velcro-ing Addie’s sandals and she claps for him.

“Thanks little girl,” he says, ruffling her curly hair.

She smiles up at him.

“You want to go sss-see Matt and Julia this weekend?” he asks her.

This time she hops off the kitchen chair and claps.

“Look, Addie loves this idea! She’s giving it a, a, a standing ovation.” Blaine stands next to her and claps too.

Kurt shakes his head at both of them. He gives them each a kiss on the cheek and then heads out the door for work.

~~~~~

Friday night they make it out to Jersey in decent time. Kurt left work a few hours early so that helped the commute. And Addie fell asleep for almost immediately because Blaine didn’t let her take an afternoon nap.

“Now she’s going to be up all night!” Kurt insists.

“No she won’t. She’s so tired. We went to the p-p-park after lunch where she literally ran around in circles for an hour. And she’s only napping like,” Blaine glances at the clock and it says 3:48. “An hour or two later than usual.”

“Grumble, grumble,” Kurt says.

“Grumble, grumble your face,” Blaine fires back, throwing a cocky glance from the driver’s seat.

When they arrive at Matt and Julia’s an hour later, Addie is awake and happy. She’s a bit tentative around “strangers” these days. And basically a stranger is anyone who isn’t Kurt or Blaine.

“Going back to day care in a few weeks should be interesting,” Kurt says as Addie buries her face in his shoulder.

“It’s just a phase!” Blaine says for the millionth time.

She warms up quickly though, in part because she’s fascinated with Julia’s bright pink cast.

“Be gentle!” Kurt warns as Addie pets Julia's leg.

And to Julia he mouths “sorry!” Julia just shakes her head and smiles, delighted that Addie wants to show her any type of affection whatsoever. 

Matt had offered to barbecue but he didn’t realize he was out of propane, so he and Blaine find themselves on their way to pick up pizza. When they called the order in it would have taken 45 minutes longer to get it delivered, so they were volunteered to go pick it up. Or more accurately, Matt was volunteered due to his propane shortcomings. Blaine offered to keep him company.

“You guys should move out here,” Matt says as he drives his way down the winding streets of suburbia into the heart of town.

“The only reason you mmm-moved out here was b-b-b-because your wife got a job.”

“That is very true.”

“And n-n-now you’re lonely and have no friends,” Blaine points out.

“That is also very true. But we have some really nice neighbors! One of them is going to let us borrow his boat. And then we’ll be out on a boat and you’ll be stuck in the city in the sweltering heat. Begging us to go out on the boat. Maybe I’ll even buy a boat,” Matt concludes.

“You d-d-don’t even know how to dah-rive a b-b-boat.”

“Yes I do! It’s not that hard. You’re the one who doesn’t know how to drive a boat.”

“I’m going to need to see some type of certification before b-ba-bah-ringing my child onto a boat with Captain Matt.”

Matt laughs. “So, I have a question.”

Blaine nods.

“Do you ever look at Addie and think ‘holy shit you’re so much like D.Marshall I can hardly stand it.’”

“Never,” Blaine admits honestly. “She’s everything good about DiDi. And everything p-p-perfect about Kurt. So it’s like ...”

“Fine, fine. You’re no fun anymore.”

Blaine smirks. “Okay. I’ll admit one thing.”

Matt pulls into a parking spot and wiggles his eyes at Blaine. “Yes...”

“She mm-makes this face. This like,” Blaine has no idea how to describe the face. “This expression of pure confusion.”

Matt chuckles.

“I’m not sure if that’s the DiDi in her or b-b-babies in general though.”

Matt nods as they exit the car.

“Also I-I-I worry about her hair.”

Matt throws his head back and laughs long and loud.

~~~~~

Matt and Blaine leave after breakfast Saturday morning.

“We’ll be back around 2 or 3,” Matt says kissing Julia on the cheek.

“More like 4 or 5 b-b-because Matt is a terrible golfer,” Blaine says leaning down to say goodbye to Addie, who sits in a sunny spot on the floor in Matt and Julia’s living room. She’s playing with a little cash register set that they gave her just for being Addie.

After Matt and Blaine leave, Kurt and Julia settle in to watch trashy tv, Julia’s foot propped up on an ottoman, glasses of iced tea in place. They end up spending most of the morning watching Addie play cash register instead.

“She’s very cute,” Julia says, holding her chin in her hand. “I love how she calls both of you Daddy.”

“We tried to Daddy and Papa route, but she just never took to Papa,” Kurt says with a shrug. 

“She’s a free spirit,” Julia says. “I can’t believe how grown up she seems all of a sudden. Like a real little kid. It’s only been a couple months since I saw her last.”

“I know. It’s like she’s not such a baby anymore,” Kurt agrees. “And she’s so smart. Like sometimes I can’t believe the stuff she comes up with and she’s not even two yet. She has a surprisingly good imagination. She likes to dump all of her crayons into a bowl and then stir them with a fork. And then she tries to feed us.”

Julia laughs appreciatively, her eyes never leaving Addie.

“She’s not saying much though,” Kurt says his voice thoughtful and a bit on edge.

Addie looks over at them and smiles a toothy grin, holding up a yellow plastic coin.

“Though apparently she’s pro-capitalism.”

She puts the money through the appropriate slot and makes the cash register ding. She claps and giggles.

“She seems fine to me. I have a feeling she’s going to be one of those kids that goes from not saying much one day, to speaking in full and grammatically correct sentences the next.”

“That’s totally possible,” Kurt says. “Blaine, of course, is freaking out.”

“Of course,” Julia answers. “That’s why you’re so compatible. You take turns freaking out.”

“And the thing of it is, she is talking. She says ‘no, Daddy, mine, cookie.’ All reasonable words for an almost two year old.”

“Entirely reasonable,” Julia murmurs, scratching around the top of her cast absentmindedly.

“She also says hi.”

At that moment Addie looks up and yells “Hi!” and waves at Kurt and Julia.

They wave back.

“And, I mean, listen to her. She never stops chattering. It’s just that she doesn’t have a lot of words yet.”

Julia looks at Kurt seriously, sipping her iced tea. “Are you freaking out a little bit Kurt?”

“Maybe,” he mumbles, shifting his eyes all over the room. “The pediatrician said that she should be talking more. Or well. Not quite more, but just that he’s surprised that she’s not stringing more two and three word phrases together yet. Or something like that.”

“Sounds like you may have ... over interpreted.”

“I don’t know. I guess it’s just too easy to worry?”

Julia leans back and crosses her arms. “I may not be a speech pathologist, but I am the wife of a speech pathologist, who for the record, I’m sure would be happy to spend a little bit of time with Addie one on one if you’re really that worried. However, kids develop at different rates. From what I can see, she’s a very happy and smart little girl. So, she’s not a big chatter,” Julia pauses and shrugs. “Neither is your mate. It’s not unheard of.”

Kurt laughs. “I guess. Sometimes I worry …” Kurt shakes his head.

“What?” Julia prods. “I mean, it might make you feel better to just say it.”

Kurt huffs out a breath. “Sometimes I worry that because she spends so much time with Blaine she’s sort of picking up on his nature. That she’ll be reticent because she’s around him so much and sees how he acts.”

Julia nods seriously. “Have you talked to Blaine about this?”

“Oh, God, no. He’d be so upset.”

“Well, I don’t really have a lot of advice for you.” Julia frowns. “When you’re together as a family do you see him being reticent around her?”

“No,” Kurt says, after thinking about it for a moment. “Never. He talks more to her than he talks to me half the time.”

“I know kids learn by seeing, but I also think Addie has a different nature than Blaine. Just because she’s not speaking a whole heck of a lot yet doesn’t mean she won’t be soon.”

Kurt nods.

“And don’t let this get to you so much. She is talking and that’s what’s important.”

Kurt nods again.

“She’s engaged, she’s happy, she’s learning.”

He lets out a slow breath. “Hey Addie.”

She looks up.

“Come here by me?” he says.

She scrambles to her feet and brings three of the coins with her.

“Who gave you these coins?” Kurt asks.

She looks over at Julia meaningfully.

“What’s her name?”

Addie sucks on the yellow coin for a second. “Jule?”

“Yes, Julia!” He and Julia clap and say “Bravo!” And Addie dances around them, her feet flying in every direction.

“I think it’s going to be okay, Kurt.” Julia leans forward and pats Kurt’s hand. “Now let’s discuss something less stressful.”

“Well, this isn’t less stressful, per say,” Kurt starts. “I’m worried about her hair. Does it seem overly frizzy to you? Do you think she’s too young for deep conditioning?”

“Yes, Kurt, 22 months old is too young for deep conditioning.”

~~~~~

Saturday night Kurt drives home because Blaine is exhausted from wandering around the golf course with Matt for 5 hours.

“I’m not sure why I-I-I ever let him talk me into playing with him,” Blaine mutters as he sinks into the passenger seat. He has a touch of sunburn on his neck that Kurt made sure to yell at him about right away.

Kurt laughs. “I think you enjoy the pain.” They’re sitting in some construction traffic. They can see the end of the crawl up ahead, but it seems like the closer they get the slower they go.

Kurt glances in the rearview mirror and finds Addie making her two little teddy bears (that the boys refer to as Poop and Dumdum) converse in gibberish with each other.

“Look at Addie,” Kurt says.

Blaine turns around to glance behind him.

“Daddy,” she says in a warning tone when she catches Blaine looking at her.

“Addie,” Blaine says in the same tone.

“Daddy!” she shrieks as he leans around the seat and pretends to bite her foot.

“One day you’re going to end up with no teeth if you keep that shit up,” Kurt says.

“One day she’s going to start swah, swearing like a truck driver be-be-because of you,” Blaine retorts.

“Point taken.”

“Aren’t you going to swear like a little truck driver?” Blaine says to Addie in a silly voice. “Who’s Daddy’s little truck driver?”

“TWUCK!” she yells.

Blaine laughs.

“I’ve never heard her say that before,” Kurt says, again glancing in the rearview mirror.

“She’ll b-b-basically mimic anything these days.”

Kurt nods, he knows that much. “But does she get what she’s saying?”

“Addie, do you see any trucks?” Blaine asks her.

She leans up in her car seat, looking out the side windows. A tractor trailer inches next to them.

“Twuck!” she yells again.

“Yup. She gets it.”

Kurt grins.

“Listen,” Blaine says earnestly, taking Kurt’s hand from where it rest of the gear shift and squeezing it for a moment. “I-I-I know you’re worried about what Dr. Laurence said, buh-buh-ut he also said there’s nothing particularly concerning about Addie’s lack of words at the mmmm-moment. Just that we should keep an eye on it. The mmm-most important thing is the way she interacts with us.”

Kurt nods.

“You’re worried she’s like me,” Blaine says quietly. “Be-be-because she ssss-pends so much time with me.”

Kurt looks over. “No.”

“No?” Blaine asks, not believing Kurt for a second.

“Well, obviously I love you and I would love for her to be like you. Kind and smart and talented and winsome and all that good stuff. I just don’t want her to struggle the same ways you do.”

Blaine nods. He doesn’t want that either.

“I think I’m making too big a deal out of everything,” Kurt says after a quiet minute.

“Yeah, I don’t think we can judge her entire pah-pah-personality on what she’s like now. We need to give her a little mmm-more time.”

“I just wish he hadn’t said that.”

“I know.” Blaine pauses, thinking. “Maybe we should look for a, a, a new pediatrician. Maybe this guy isn’t rah-right for us.”

“Yeah. Maybe we don’t need someone to put these things in our heads.”

“We’ll see what he sss-says at her two year old checkup. If we come away feeling worse, we’ll look into someone else.”

“You’re so level-headed,” Kurt tells him.

“I know. It’s what made you love me in the first place.”

They drive the rest of the way home, Addie babbling in the back seat, Blaine dozing in the front, and Kurt smiling to himself about his happy little family.

~~~~~

Back at Matt and Julia’s, they spend the evening watching a movie, during which Julia convinces Matt to paint her toe nails.

“Look at them, all pale and naked at the bottom of my rocking pink cast,” Julia says, prompting Matt to go find some polish for her.

He comes back and offers her three bottles. 

“Hmm,” she says, examining them. “Snow Globe, Jamaica Me Crazy, or Mermaid’s Tail. Interesting choices Mr. Eversleigh.”

“I would recommend Jamaica Me Crazy,” he tells her.

“Excellent, yes, let’s go with that.”

They’re quiet for a while, Matt working hard not to jostle her injured foot more than necessary.

“I’ve been thinking about something,” Julia says casually.

“Oh, yeah?” Matt asks. He sticks the tip of his tongue out like he does when he’s concentrating.

“I think we should start trying to have a baby.”

“What?!” he asks, as he turns to look at her, dragging a line of Jamaica Me Crazy up her cast.

Julia doesn’t even notice, because Matt’s face at the moment is priceless.

“Seems like it’s time. Don’t you think?” she asks.

“Hell yeah, I think!” he agrees, leaning in to kiss her enthusiastically. “Let’s do this right now.”

“No.”

“No?” Matt asks, confused.

“Well, for starters I need to get off the pill first.” 

“Oh, duh.”

“And you haven’t finished painting my toenails.”

“But I want to have a baby now!” Matt whines, picking up the nail polish and getting back to work.

“We will, Matthew. I promise. One perfect baby, coming right up!” Julia says with a smile.


	17. Chapter 17

_January 2027_

A baby is born with a shock of red hair and bright blue eyes. His coloring and features quickly confirm who his father is, but it’s not like she’ll ever see that guy again. 

When she first found out she was pregnant, she was five months in and shocked. She’d been told long ago she wouldn’t be able to have kids. She considered putting the baby up for adoption, but seeing him now, she’s glad she didn’t pursue it. Even if a baby isn’t part of her plan. But like her mother used to say “Man plans, God laughs.” 

She’ll adjust the plan. She doesn’t mind.

She names the baby Declan. It means “full of goodness.” Because that’s what life is going to be from now on thanks to him.

~~~~~

_September 2027  
Kurt and Blaine are both 33. Addie is almost 3._

“What would you like for your b-b-birthday little girl?” Blaine asks one evening, several weeks before Addie’s third birthday. 

“Hmmmm...” She makes her thinking face and taps her chin. Kurt and Blaine have no idea where she came up with this particular pose, but they’re pretty sure she didn’t get it from either of them and that it’s basically the most adorable thing on the planet.

Addie continues humming and tapping dramatically, so Blaine pokes her in the stomach and that makes her shriek and fall off the couch.

“Oh man!” Blaine says

“Oh man!” Addie repeats.

“You okay?” he asks.

“I bumped,” she says, pointing at her elbow.

“Maybe it’ll feel better if I eat it?” Blaine asks seriously.

“No!” she yells, giggling.

“Om nom nom,” Blaine says as he lifts her elbow to his mouth.

“No, Daddy, no!” She continues giggling uncontrollably.

“So what do you want for your b-b-birthday?” Blaine asks as she composes herself, brushing her hair out of her face and catching her breath.

“Well … I … want …”

Blaine pokes her.

“Stop teasing our child and let her speak,” Kurt says as he breezes through the living room on the way to the kitchen.

“Daddy keeps pokin’ me!” Addie calls out after him.

“Poke him back!” Kurt says from the kitchen.

Addie’s eyes go wide and she smirks, before using one of her tiny iron fingers to poke Blaine in the ribs.

“Thanks dumdum. You know she has no control over her own strength.”

“Wah, wah, wah,” Kurt mutters as he emerges from the kitchen with a glass of water.

“Okay, I’ll stop,” Blaine promises.

Addie looks at him like she just won the Battle of Gettysburg rather than the Battle of Poking Each Other on the Couch.

“So really, what do you want for your b-b-birthday?” Blaine says, holding up his hands in surrender.

She scratches her head. “A puppy!”

“A pretend puppy?” Blaine asks, hopeful. “A stuffed animal puppy?”

“Nooooo. A real puppy!”

“Addie, sweetheart, our apartment is too little for a puppy,” Kurt says from his spot by the kitchen doorway. 

“So get a big apartment?”

“No honey, this is our home,” Kurt explains. He sits down next to her.

“Hmph.”

“How about something else?” Blaine prods.

“A little doggie?” she asks her eyes hopeful.

“No Addie. No dogs,” Kurt says, moving into the living room now.

“Hmph,” she pouts. “A fire engine?”

“What kind of fire engine?” Blaine asks.

“Like Nathan at the park!” Her face brightens. “And other stuff?”

“How about,” Kurt starts as he pulls Addie over to him and puts her on his lap. “We go to the toy store and let you show us what you want?”

“Okay!”

“Good idea, dumdum,” Blaine says.

“Yeah, good idea, dumdum,” Addie repeats.

~~~~~

The next night Kurt’s giving Addie a bath when he sticks his head out of the bathroom to call Blaine over.

“Hey poop!”

“Yeah!” Blaine calls back from the living room.

“Can you come watch Addie in the bathtub? I just remembered I need to call my dad back and he and Carole were going to some kind of fancy schmancy dinner tonight.”

Blaine’s already in the bathroom before Kurt can even finish his thought.

“Hi poop,” Addie says, holding her Minnie Mouse squirt toy under the bubbles much longer than necessary.

“Hey little girl,” Blaine says. “So, you really want a b-b-b-bike for your b-b-b-birthday? You’re sure about this?” That’s what she was most excited about at the store today, but Blaine’s a little nervous she’s too young.

She nods her head vigorously. “I want it to be purple!”

She’s quiet for a few minutes, playing with the bubbles, building mountains and then smoothing them out.

“How’s the buh-bubble bath?”

Instead of answering, she squirts him with Minnie.

“Hey, no fair! Bath water stays in the buh-bathtub, remember?”

She’s still giggling.

“Addie,” Blaine says, his voice just a touch warning.

“Okay, Daddy,” she says.

She hums to herself and plays with her bath toys and then looks back at Blaine. “I have a mom, right?”

“Yes, you do,” Blaine says, hesitantly. “Everyone has a mom.” He looks to the bathroom door, willing Kurt to come back in. This is the first time Addie’s brought this subject up and he wants to make sure he handles it properly.

“Where is she?” she asks, kicking her feet in the bath water.

“Um,” Blaine hedges. “Let me, um.” He momentarily sticks his head out the door, hoping to catch Kurt’s eye, but he must be in their bedroom. He collects his thoughts. From the beginning, the three of them, Blaine, Kurt, and DiDi, decided together that if Addie ever asks about DiDi, they would do their best to explain things, dependent on variables such as how old Addie is when she asks.

Considering how young Addie is right now, Blaine knows they can keep it vague.

“Daddy?”

“Oh. Well. Um. She lives in California. Her name is DiDi. You’ve mmm-met her be-before, but you were little so maybe you don’t remember.” It’s only been about six months since she saw DiDi, but that’s a long time in kid time, Blaine figures.

“Oh,” Addie splashes the water a little with her hands this time, making gentle waves. “I think I remember.”

Blaine holds his breath, waiting for harder questions. Like, why isn’t she here, why do I only have you two slackers, when can I see her, why don’t I live with her, doesn’t she like me? Blaine knows he needs Kurt for that line of questioning. He’ll never be able to think on his feet.

But instead she looks up at Blaine and smiles. “Okay! Can I have a book before bed?”

“Of course little girl, of course.” That’s a much easier question than he was expecting.

Blaine lets out a sigh of relief and unplugs the tub. He helps Addie stand up, wrapping her in a fluffy towel and then hugs her close. Then he lifts her up and makes airplane noise while he flies her to her bedroom.

When Blaine gets into bed with Kurt a few hours later, he tells him about Addie asking about her mom during her bath. And how he feels like he might have messed up.

“I think it sounds like you handled it pretty well,” Kurt says.

“It’s b-bi-zarre that she decided to ask now.”

“I bet they were talking about families in school or something. And she’s so freaking smart, she realized that hers is different. I mean, we weren’t hiding anything from her. It’s just complicated. Not really something you can get into with a toddler.”

“I think she’s actually ssss-starting to get it now,” Blaine says.

“That’s good. We’ll make a bigger point of it next time DiDi’s around.”

Blaine nods. They have this under control and it wasn’t nearly as scary as Blaine would have assumed.

~~~~~

Addie’s birthday party is a hit. She loves every minute of it. She laps up the attention as though Kurt and Blaine don’t give her enough. Which is definitely not true.

It’s not a big party. They invited just a few of the kids from her class along with a couple of kids from the neighborhood. Matt and Julia came out to celebrate too, and Addie is enthralled by Julia’s belly.

Julia sits in one of the kitchen chairs and Addie stands next to her, staring at her stomach.  
Addie’s trying to make sense of the idea that there’s a baby in there and that the baby will come out of there in a couple of weeks.

“Here,” Julia says, taking Addie’s hand and holding it over where the baby’s kicking.

“Oh!” Addie gasps. “So you’re the mom?”

“Yes. I’m the mom,” Julia tells her.

“I have a mom,” Addie says matter-of-factly.

“Yes, you do,” Julia says. Then Julia catches Kurt’s eye. He’d been listening from the doorway. Julia gives him a questioning look. Kurt shrugs and makes a keep going motion. “Um. I know her. She’s one of my best friends.”

“I know her too. She sent me this purple pig for my birthday,” Addie says, presenting the pig she’d been holding under her arm for Julia to inspect.

“It’s a lovely purple pig,” Julia says, patting it on the head. “Does it have a name?”

“Oh, um,” Addie makes what she obviously considers a thoughtful face and all Julia can see is DiDi. “Purple! His name is Purple!”

“That’s a wonderful name for him,” Julia says.

Addie says thank you and then trots back into the living room to play with the other kids.

Julia smiles and pats her stomach. She’s pretty excited to be a mom.

~~~~~

It’s several weeks after Addie’s birthday that things take an unexpected turn.

Blaine gets a phone call at lunch from Kurt. They talk every once in a while during the day, but it’s a rarity because Blaine’s not the easiest to track down. He really only gets reception in the teacher’s lounge at school.

“Hey,” Blaine says, pitching his voice a bit lower than usual, not wanting to disturb the other people in the room. He also still isn’t a fan of talking on the phone in front of people, so he moves to the far corner to stand by the window and have a good excuse to turn his back on the rest of his colleagues.

“Hi.”

“I’m a b-b-bit surprised to hear from you in the mmm-middle of the day. Everything okay?”

“Yeah. I got a call from Addie’s teacher.”

“What’s the dah-deal?”

“Apparently Addie’s been calling the other kids names.”

“Oh, man. Isn’t she too little for this? She’s only three! I-I-I thought she was a n-n-nice kid! I thought she wasn’t going to be one of those kids. I r-r-r-really hate the idea that our kid is …”

“She’s calling them poop and dumdum,” Kurt interrupts. He can’t leave Blaine in that kind of torment any longer.

“Oh,” Blaine sighs. And then he starts giggling. “That’s not nice.” He barely gets the words out before breaking into a peal of laughter.

“Look at what we’ve taught her!” Kurt exclaims, also unable to contain his giggles.

“We’re um, we are um, just … the worst parents ever I-I-I think.”

“What is this … why are you texting me?” Kurt mumbles, his voice suddenly far away from the phone. “Oh my god! Your face is hilarious right now.”

“I had to share it with you. I-I-I actually can’t control the tears.” Blaine takes several deep breaths. “We do need to make sure she never dah-dah-does that again.”

“I think we forgot that our pet names would be rather insulting to three year olds.”

“We pah-pah-retty much are three year olds, dumdum.” Blaine pauses, catching his breath. “So, what’s the game plan?”

“Well, her teacher asked that we come in for a conference. I think when we explain to her that that’s what we call each other hopefully she’ll get it. And Addie won’t get expelled from pre-school.”

“Alright, so we’ll figure this out.”

“Yup.”

“I should go. Love you.”

“Love you too, dumdum.”

~~~~~

A few days later, they meet with Addie’s teacher. And after supper that night, they sit Addie down on the couch.

She folds her hands and crosses her ankles and looks up at them angelically.

“So, we talked to your teacher today,” Kurt starts.

Addie nods, her eyes going wide.

“And she says that you’ve been calling kids poop and dumdum at school,” Blaine continues.

Addie nods again.

“I know that’s what Daddy and I call each other, and that we let you call us that, but that’s only talk for home, not school talk.”

Addie makes a very thoughtful face, and scratches her head. “Why? Is it real bad?”

“No, it’s not bad. It’s just ...” Blaine turns to Kurt and shrugs, making a face like “what on earth do I tell her?”

Kurt takes the bull by the horns. “Addie, you know how Sabine called you a baby when we were in Ohio over the summer and that made you feel really sad?”

She nods and her face falls like she’s about to cry.

“Well, that’s how the other kids feel when you call them poop and dumdum.”

“But I say it because I love them!” she exclaims, throwing her hands in the air dramatically.

“We know that. And Dad and I-I-I call each other those names because we love each other, and b-b-b-because we know we love each other. Buh, buh-ut the other kids, they don’t get that. They think you’re being mmm-mean, like you’re calling them names.”

“But I’m not! I love them and I want them to be my friends!”

Kurt and Blaine move closer on either side of her and Kurt puts his arm around her tiny shoulders.

“And they’re not your friends?”

“They are!” she shrieks.

“Okay,” Blaine says, rubbing her back. “It’s okay. Why are you so upset?”

“I’m not upset! I’m sad.”

“Okay, why are you sad?” Kurt asks.

“Cause you guys think I was being bad at school.”

“Oh.” Blaine says, with a barely contained smirk. “No, we dah-don’t think that at all. We know you were b-b-being nice calling the kids these nicknames. You just need to ... not call them those names anymore because they dah-don’t understand. Okay?”

She sniffs. “Okay.”

“Good,” Kurt says. “Do you have any questions?”

“Nope,” Addie says.

“Do you need a hug?” Blaine asks.

Addie nods sadly and crawls up onto Blaine’s lap.

“You can still call us poop and dumdum,” Kurt says, rubbing Addie’s back.

“Okay,” she whispers.

“How can we cheer you up?” Blaine asks.

“Frozen yogurt,” she says, immediately perking up.

“Of course, sweetie,” Blaine says.

Kurt rolls his eyes and gives Blaine a look that clearly reads ‘she has us wrapped around her little finger.’


	18. Chapter 18

_June 2028_

She’s sick. She knows it. And now Declan seems sick too.

But she hates going to the doctor. It reminds her too much of when things got bad right before her mom died. And maybe they’ll both be better by the end of the week. She doesn’t want to have to miss work for a stupid cold. She has deadlines. And her deadlines have deadlines.

Maybe they’re really not that sick. A fever, her neck is a little stiff, Declan seems tired. It’s nothing they can’t manage. She refuses to diagnose herself on the internet though. Nothing good ever comes of it.

But if Declan doesn’t perk up by Friday she’ll take him to the doctor no matter what. She tells herself this over and over again, even as the world goes black.

_August 2028  
Kurt and Blaine are 34 and Addie is almost 4._

Kurt's job takes him overseas every once in a great while. The summer before Addie turns four is one of those times. He's going to be spending six weeks in the Paris Vogue office. The plan is for Blaine and Addie to meet him there after he's settled and spend two weeks with him. Then they're going to fly back to New York, grab the car and head out to spend some time in Ohio with the grandparents.

Addie is a ball of excitement during the whole plane ride. That doesn't change once they land.

Addie bounces along as she holds tight to Blaine’s hand while they make their way through the airport and customs. She does not stop chattering.

“And then when I see Dad, I’m going to hug him and kiss him. Then I’m going to tell him all about how the waitress?” She pauses, looking at Blaine.

“Flight attendant,” Blaine supplies.

“Flight attendant,” Addie continues, almost seamlessly. “How she gave me a lollipop and I didn’t even know that you were allowed to have lollipops on airplanes. You should have brought lollipops so I could eat them all while we were flying.”

Blaine would blame the lollipop on Addie’s current energy, but this is really just how she is. She’s basically been talking for a year straight. She doesn’t ever seem to stop. She talks in her sleep almost as much as she talks when she’s awake. She’s not even four yet, but she’s definitely already made up for the time they spent worrying that she didn’t talk enough.

“I’ll take that under advisement and mmm-maybe we’ll have to get some lollipops for the trip home,” Blaine says mindlessly, starting to scan the crowd now, sure that soon he’ll be able to find Kurt among the throng now that they’re done with all the security. He checks the signs and kiosks around them, this is where Kurt said he would meet them.

“They have lollipops in France!” Addie exclaims excitedly.

“Yes, little girl,” Blaine says, glancing down at her. She’s pulling along her purple rolling backpack. Blaine has his own carry-on hitched over his shoulder.

While Blaine’s looking at her, her face breaks into a smile and she lets out a shriek of joy.

She drops her bag handle, and is off and running to Kurt 5 yards away. Kurt scoops her up and spins her on the spot. Blaine stops to pick up her bag and makes his way over to where Addie is already regaling Kurt with the story of the airplane lollipop.

“And it was pink, and the waitress,” Addie says.

“Flight attendant,” Blaine reminds her.

“Flight attendant said I was so good.” Then she stops and puts her hands on Kurt’s cheeks. She kisses him on the lips and throws her arms around his neck.

Kurt smiles over Addie’s shoulder.

“Hey poop.”

“Hey dumdum.”

"So was she good?" Kurt asks, letting Addie slide to the ground.

"She really was."

"It was my first time on an airplane!" Addie exclaims.

"Well, the first time you remember," Kurt amends.

Addie looks confused. "Really?"

"Yes. You've been on an airplane a couple of times, buh-buh-ut you were younger. One time we flew to Ohio for Thanksgiving," Blaine reminds.

"Oh." She makes her usual thinking face. "I do not remember that."

Blaine ruffles her hair.

"So," Blaine says, taking Addie's hand.

"So," Kurt says, grabbing Addie's other hand, and putting her pink backpack over his shoulder.

"On to baggage claim!" Blaine says.

"On to baggage claim!" Addie repeats.

They swing Addie between them as they walk; taking up too much room in the concourse, but luckily it's not particularly busy at the moment, giving the other people in the airport plenty of space to go around them.

"I took the next three days off, so we'll have a decent five day weekend together,” Kurt says.

"That's great! I didn't think you'd be able to get any time off b-b-because of your project."

"Well, I promised I'd stay extra days if it didn't get done in time."

Blaine mulls that over. It's nice to spend time with Kurt in Paris, but the idea of him being gone even longer makes him a little sad.

"But, don't worry about it, Poop. There's no way it's going to take any longer. I got this one in the bag."

"In the bag!" Addie repeats as they swing her again.

Blaine looks over at Kurt and grins. "It’s like you read mmm-my mind," he says.

They claim their bags and then head out to hail a cab.

They spend the next several days doing a myriad of touristy things. Addie loves everything. She doesn't even whine about walking so much. She gets excited about every new thing they see, from the Eiffel Tower to museums, to where Kurt stayed when he studied abroad.

"Man that was a long time ago," Blaine says.

"It was," Kurt agrees.

"It was terrible," Blaine admits.

"Probably the worst 132 days of my life."

After that they head to a park with a duck pond, where Addie pretends she can speak duck and the boys forget all about the sadness that happened in the past.

All too quickly it's Monday morning and Kurt has to head into work. They promise to meet him for lunch and bring sandwiches.

When Blaine asks Addie what she wants to do until then, she says, "Watch cartoons."

"That's it?" Blaine asks doubtfully.

"Yup," she says, tipping her chin stubbornly.

"Don't you want to go to the children’s museum or to the park?”

“Nah.”

“How come?” Blaine asks feeling a bit concerned. “Are you sick?” He puts a hand to her forehead, cheeks, and neck.

“I just need some down time, Daddy,” she says.

“Oh, well then. By all means, have s-s-s-some down time!” Blaine responds with barely contained laughter. She’s so much like Kurt sometimes.

So, they spend the morning lounging on the hotel beds, watching cartoons. Blaine even let’s her order room service breakfast and she pretends she’s Eloise.

“What time is it?” she asks.

“Almost 11.”

“And what time do we need to leave to meet Dad?”

“At 12.”

“Might I take a bawth, Daddy?” she asks in a most distinguished fake accent.

“Of course.”

Their weeks in Paris fly by and the next thing they know, Blaine and Addie are headed back to the airport.

Blaine holds Addie on his hip as he leans in to hug and kiss Kurt goodbye.

“Hey guys,” Addie says, as they’re looking sadly at each other. “You know it’s just goodbye for a little while right?”

“Yeah, we know. We’re just sad,” Kurt tells her.

“I’m sad too!” Addie wails, burying her face into Blaine’s neck.

Kurt rubs her back. “I’ll be home in less than a month,” Kurt murmurs. “And we’ll go back to school shopping and get you new shoes to go with the dress we bought.”

Addie perks up. “Okay, but I miss you.”

“I miss you so much, little girl,” Kurt says giving her one more squeeze. “We’ll Skype okay? When you’re with GiGi and Bumpy for sure. Because I miss them too.”

Addie nods sadly before hugging Kurt one more time and then Blaine does the same.

After that, Blaine and Addie make their way through the security checkpoints and when they’re on the other side they turn and see Kurt still standing there. They wave, both sniffling a little bit, before turning around, taking each other’s hand, and walking to their gate in silence.

On the plane, Addie cries herself to sleep on Blaine’s lap and then he deposits her in her seat. He reads for a while, trying to shake off the sadness. Then he watches a movie on his lap top. Addie wakes up a whole new woman as his movie’s ending, seemingly over her sadness about leaving Kurt. Blaine doesn’t bring it up.

When they get back to New York, they take the next day off, hanging out at home, lounging in their pajamas. The day after that they leave for Ohio.

Addie is once again vibrating with excitement.

“So, who are you the mmm-most excited to see?” Blaine asks while he drives.

“Hmm. Mama.”

Blaine nods, Addie just loves his mother.

“Or maybe Gigi. Or Hannah. Or Sabine! Or Bumpy!”

Blaine smiles.

“No, no. It’s Mama. She said we could bake cookies.”

“Fun! Chocolate chip?”

“Of course.”

They’re quiet for a little while and then Addie asks, “Who are you most excited to see?”

“You know, I’m not sure. I-I-I think everybody!”

“Are you excited to see Pop?”

“Of course,” Blaine answers honestly.

“Are you excited to see your brother?” Addie asks. She’s fascinated by the idea of brothers lately. That Kurt has a brother, and that Blaine has a brother. 

“Sure!”

“Do you think maybe someday I’ll have a brother?” Addie asks.

Blaine takes a minute to answer.

“It’s okay. I don’t mind if I don’t,” she tells him earnestly.

“I think you mmm-might someday,” Blaine says. “Or a sister. What about a, a, a sister?”

“Hmmm. Would she be nice to be?”

“She’ll probably be younger than you, so I b-b-bet she would be.”

“Okay. A brother or a sister would be fine.”

“Good, I’m glad we could clear that up.”

The drive is long but worth it in the end. To start off the trip, Blaine and Addie spend a few days with Burt and Carole in Lima. It’s weird to be there without Kurt, but on the other hand, there’s something to be said for it in terms of bonding.

After that they move on and spend a week with his parents. They dote on Addie, leaving Blaine time to go to a baseball game with Cooper and Jasper. They barbecue and go over to Cooper and Katinka’s where Addie is delighted by their pool and asks if she can move in with them.

One morning he sits at the breakfast table. It’s early, he was thinking about going for a run, but he doesn’t want Addie to wake up scared when he’s nowhere to be found. So instead he sips some coffee and waits for her to emerge from her cocoon in the guest room. He’s pretty sure this is the latest she’s ever slept.

He’s deep in thought when his mom comes in, saying good morning through a yawn, and then pouring herself a cup of coffee. She takes a seat at the table and smiles.

“How are you today, bud?” she asks.

“Good,” he grins.

“You look like you’re having lots of thoughts,” she says.

“I am.”

“Anything I could help with?”

“It’s very early in the mmm-morning, I don’t want to tax your bah-bah-rain too heavily.”

“I have coffee,” she says holding up her cup. “I can handle anything.”

“I’m thinking mmmm-maybe it’s time for Kurt and I to have another child.”

“Wow, that is a big topic for,” she pauses, glancing at the clock, “7:18 in the morning.”

Blaine shrugs. “I went to b-b-bed thinking about it and I-I-I woke up thinking about it.”

“Have you and Kurt been talking about it?”

“Only in the abstract,” he tells her honestly.

“Okay, you might want to talk to him first.”

“I know that mother,” Blaine says, feigning annoyance. “I guess I just want to get it right in mmm-my head before bah-ringing it up to him. I don’t want to … tease him with the idea.”

“So you’ve been the holdout?”

Blaine shrugs. He licks his lips and ducks his head. Michelle thinks about Blaine the teenager who used to do the same move just before he walked away from her. But Blaine as an adult blinks hard a few times and then meets her gaze.

“I know he’s going to say that I should have a bah-baby. That it’s only fair if I have a b-b-b-biological child.”

“And you don’t want that?” his mom asks.

He shakes his head. “I want to adopt. And I’ve told him that, and I, I, I think he re-re-respects the idea, but I keep getting worried that it’s going to turn into a thing. And that thing is, is, is going to turn into an argument, and that argument is going to turn into an all-out fight.”

She puts her hand over his where it rests on the table, locked in a white knuckled fist.

“Kurt wants what you want.”

He nods, but his face shows doubt.

“It’s like, I know that, but, but, but I still have trouble … believing it sometimes.” His eyes finally meet hers. 

“He loves you,” his mother says simply. “He’ll listen. He always has.”

She can see him sigh and visibly relax.

“I know. I get so, um, ssss-tuck in my head sometimes. And with him away, I guess,” he shakes his head, feeling oddly emotional. “I guess I just needed to s-s-say it outloud. Voice mmm-my fears or whatever.” He rolls his eyes and his mom smiles.

Their conversation is interrupted by Addie and Greg storming the kitchen, requesting pancakes for breakfast.

Addie hops up onto his lap and he gives her a hug. He breathes in the warm smell of sleepy child and thinks that another one would be perfect.


	19. Chapter 19

_July 2029  
(Kurt and Blaine are 35. Addie is 4.)_

Kurt looks meaningfully at Blaine after dinner is all cleaned up. They promised themselves that they would talk to Addie tonight.

She’s currently sitting on the floor in front of the tv, probably too close, but that’s only because she wants to see every minute detail of Brave, which is currently playing on the Disney Channel for the umpteenth time in the past month.

Blaine cocks his head towards the doorway and then walks through. Kurt takes a deep breath and follows.

“Hey, Addie,” Blaine starts.

“Look at her hairs, daddy,” Addie says, touching the screen. “I could count them.”

“You could,” Blaine agrees. “Do you m-m-m-mind if we turn that off for a, a, a minute? Dad and I want to talk to you about something.”

She turns around to look wide eyed at Blaine and Kurt. “Bout what?” she asks, cautiously.

“Why don’t you turn off the tv and find out?” Kurt answers.

She finds the remote, pausing Brave with the DVR and turning the tv off.

“Is that okay?” she asks.

Kurt and Blaine glance at each other, trying not to smile too much. The kid’s basically a genius when it comes to certain things. Certain things she’s just like every other 4 year old. But then there are other times when they just shake their heads in disbelief.

“Of course, that’s fine little girl,” Blaine says.

She nods and settles herself primly on the sofa. She’s currently wearing a camouflage t-shirt, purple leggings, and a sparkly rainbow tutu with matching tiara that DiDi bought for her when she last visited.

“That’s a lovely tiara you’re wearing this evening, Madame Adelaide,” Kurt says.

She smiles and holds her chin up higher. “Thank you, sir.”

She crosses her ankles, and then says, “So.”

“So,” Blaine decides to jump right in. “We’re thinking about adopting a child.”

“A baby! We’re gonna have a baby!” Addie stands up on the sofa and bounces lightly.

“Well, not a baby, really,” Kurt interjects.

“We’re going to have a big kid?” she asks, confusion darkening her face as she slides back down onto the couch. “Someone older than me? Are we adopting Hannah?”

“Why would w-w-we adopt Hannah?” Blaine asks, before Kurt’s hand is on his arm.

“Not the point,” Kurt says out of the side of his mouth.

Blaine shakes the thought out of his head. “Yeah. Um. Not Hannah.”

“A different big kid?” Addie asks.

“Not a big kid. A little boy,” Kurt tells her, smiling.

“A boy?” Addie asks, scrunching up her face.

“Yeah. He doesn’t have a dad or a mom.”

She looks at them suspiciously, as if Blaine and Kurt did something to this little boy’s parents so that they could steal him. “Where did they go?”

Blaine takes a deep breath. “Well, no one knows where his dah-dad is. And his mom, she got very, very s-s-s-sick.”

“She died, huh? Like Dad’s mom?” Addie asks, leaning her elbows on her knees.

Kurt nods.

“And he’s not older than me?”

“No,” Kurt answers. “He’s only 2 years old.”

“Oh, that’s practically a baby!” She sits up straighter now, her interest engaged. “Does he already have a name, or do I get to name him?”

“I’m sorry to tell you that he already has a name,” Kurt tells her, trying not to laugh.

“What is it? Is it better than Rocko?”

“Um,” Blaine pauses, unsure how to even answer that question. And since when does Addie have an affinity for the name Rocko. “His name is Declan.”

She makes a face. “I guess that’s okay.”

“Well it’s going to have to be,” Kurt tells her.

“When do I get to meet him?” she asks.

“Soon,” Blaine tells her.

“Tonight?” she asks excitedly.

“No, mmm-may-maybe next weekend,” Blaine answers.

“What about tomorrow? Can I meet him tomorrow?”

Kurt shakes his head.

~~~~~

_August 2029_

By the end of August, they’ve passed their home study, their meetings with the social worker, they’ve done agency visits with Declan, and so far, so good.

It’s finally time to bring Declan to their home for the weekend. When they pick Declan up, Kurt’s nervous, Addie’s nervous, Blaine’s nearly panic stricken. He spent the majority of Friday night tidying and re-tidying the coffee table.

When they bring him into the apartment, Declan doesn’t seem all that nervous. He looks around a little, taking things in. He’s been deaf for over a year, from the same meningitis that took his mother’s life. His communication skills are subpar for a 2 and a half year old, but Kurt’s pretty sure that’s what made Blaine fall in love with him.

Kurt’s pretty enamored himself. But he’s just not sure they’re equipped to fill Declan’s needs.

As for Addie, she seems to like him; she got along with him fine during their other casual visits. Though now she’s a bit confused. Within 20 minutes of getting home, she wanders over to Kurt.

“Declan doesn’t want to play anything that I want to play,” she tells him, looking exasperated.

“That’s okay, Declan’s just getting used to us. Let him come to you,” Kurt assures her. He tries to take his own advice, though it does seem like Declan likes Blaine the most. Declan’s interactions with Kurt usually include Kurt smiling and trying to look friendly and Declan eyeing him warily while he moves closer to Blaine.

Clearly Declan likes Blaine just as much as Blaine likes Declan.

They build a tower out of blocks, and Blaine knocks it over. Declan stares at him wide eyed, and then makes the sign for “again.”

So they build another tower of blocks and this time Blaine lets Declan knock it over. Declan is so delighted that he claps and laughs and falls over himself.

Kurt inches his way nearer across the floor and starts building a tower, hopeful that allowing Declan to knock it down will be some kind of bonding experience. He builds it taller than the first two and Declan watches with interest, but again moves close to Blaine.

And then Addie comes plowing through and knocks it over herself. “Muahaha!” she yells.

“Addie!” Kurt reprimands. “I was building that for Declan.”

“Oh, sorry,” she says and pats Declan’s head. Declan gives her a mildly dirty look.

This time Addie builds the tower and lets Declan knock it over. Everyone claps and laughs, and Declan suddenly feels like part of the family.

~~~~~

A moment of Addie

So the dads say we have to move.

That the city is too scary for Declan since he can’t hear. That we should have a backyard.

I don’t need a backyard.

I kick at my mattress and roll over. I count the stars on the ceiling of my bedroom and think about all the reasons we shouldn’t move.

I come up with five, which is how old I’m going to be soon, so I think that’s important.

1\. The park across the street is like a backyard.

2\. I like it here.

3\. Declan will like it here when he gets used to it.

4\. I will miss my friends.

5\. There’s a part of the floor in the hallway outside my room that squeaks and I like stepping on it over and over and over and over again.

I decide to get up and go talk to the dads about this. I decide to bring Sonic the Hedgehog with me because he is the quickest of all my stuffed animals and I’m gonna need to talk fast to get them to listen.

~~~~~

Blaine hears the creak of the floorboard in the hallway. Kurt looks up from the book he’s reading and then a tiny figure appears in their doorway.

She has a Sonic the Hedgehog doll, one of the more random gifts from DiDi, tucked under her arm.

“Hi Addie,” Blaine says.

“Hi,” she yawns.

“It’s late,” Kurt says.

They had a feeling they’d be seeing her again this evening. She put herself to bed after dinner. She told them it was because she was exhausted and had a big day ahead of her tomorrow. But they both know it’s because she doesn’t like the idea of moving. They should have presented her with the idea sooner, but they really were unsure for so long.

It wasn’t until they spent the weekend with Declan and felt the full reality of raising a Deaf child in a city full of noises that it just seemed like a good idea to them. That as he got older, they would never quite feel comfortable letting him go out and about. He’s a cautious little boy, but he might not always stay that way.

Addie climbs up on the bed with them and settles in between her dads.

She clears her throat. “I have an announcement.”

“Okay,” Blaine prompts.

“I don’t think we should move.”

“Aw, we’re sorry little girl,” Kurt says, putting his arm around her, rubbing her shoulder.

“I have five reasons.” Addie begins listing them, becoming more and more emotional as the list goes on, until she’s finally sniffling through her last bullet point. “And I just really like that floorboard. And who will step on it, if I’m not here?” she wails.

Blaine slips out of bed to get the box of tissues from the bathroom. When he comes back, Addie’s on Kurt’s lap, sobbing into his t-shirt.

“Maybe... we... could... stay... a... little... longer...” she’s working herself into a serious tizzy.

“I’ve never seen her like this,” Kurt murmurs as Blaine hands him a tissue. He swipes at Addie’s face and nose, almost not sure where to start because she’s still crying so hard. Her eyes are red and swollen, her cheeks are streaked and some of the tears are soaking the front of her night shirt. Blaine moves close and rubs her back. She turns to face him.

“Can’t we just stay here forever? Aren’t deaf people allowed to live in Brooklyn?” she asks.

“Of course they are. Buh-buh-ut we would just feel mmm-more comfortable with Declan out of the city. And, and, and you’ll like it too.”

“Yeah, Addie. You’ll love it. We’re going to look at a house tomorrow. You love going to Matt and Julia’s right?” Kurt wipes her nose and she blows into the tissue.

“Wait, what?” she asks, her face confused.

“Matt and Julia. They don’t live in Brooklyn.”

“I like where they live,” she says cautiously. “That’s not Brooklyn?”

“No,” Blaine tells her. “That’s New Jersey.”

She wipes her eyes and flips her hair out of her face. “Are we moving in with Matt and Julia?”

“No, no we are not,” Kurt says.

She thinks about this and shrugs. “Okay, fine. We can move to New Jersey.”

“Just like that? You’re dah-done crying?” Blaine asks, not necessarily wanting to start the whole process over again, but still quite shocked that she seems so accepting of this all of a sudden.

“Yes. I like where Matt and Julia live.”

Blaine smiles and puts his hand out to her. “Ready to go b-b-back to bed?”

Now she shakes her head vigorously. “Can’t I sleep here?” she asks.

Blaine looks over at Kurt.

“Fine,” Kurt sighs. “But if you kick me even once, we’re bringing you back to your bed, okay?”

She gets up on her knees and folds her hands. “I will be like a tiny angel.” She kisses her dads goodnight, lies down in between them, and is asleep within minutes.

And 30 seconds after she falls asleep, she knees Kurt in the crotch. And he has no choice but to drag her, and Sonic the Hedgehog, back to their own bed.

~~~~~  
 _November 2029_

They close on the house in Mid-October and Declan visits them there a few times. He seems happy with them, happier all the time. There’s a hesitance in him though too. Not quite a lack of trust, but something that keeps him from fully giving in the way most kids do, which can only to be expected given his past.

The first night they have him with them permanently, or more permanently since the adoption won’t be finalized for a few months, Declan’s fine. He’s content, he eats dinner, he plays with Addie.

When it’s time to go to bed, he does so without fuss, happy to see Thomas the Train pajamas. They got him bunk beds for his room at Blaine’s insistence. They decide that one of them will sleep in there with him for the time being, just in case.

It’s on the third night that things go a bit awry.

Declan isn’t hungry, he seemed frustrated all day, and petulant. He cries several times, throwing an unexpected tantrum right around lunch time. In some ways it‘s the most personality Kurt and Blaine have seen from him, but in other ways it’s scary because they have no idea how to make him calm down. They do their best not to agitate him further, but they don’t know how to comfort him when he’s like this. He winds himself down enough to go to bed at a normal hour and Blaine hops up into the top bunk, figuring Declan will sleep well after the emotionally exhausting day he had.

But instead Declan awakes screeching a few hours later. Declan doesn’t make a whole lot of noise, he laughs, he grunts sometimes, says a word here and there, but his verbalization is very limited. So when Blaine hears him shrieking in the middle of the night, it takes him a few seconds to put it together.

Blaine jumps down from the top bunk and kneels next to Declan’s bed. He’s backed himself into the far corner, his face contorted, tears streaming down his face, mouth wide open in fear.

Blaine immediately assumes he’s had a nightmare. He tries coaxing Declan out of the corner, not sure he should actually even approach him at the moment, that’s how scared Declan seems.

Kurt and Addie burst through the door at that moment, flipping on the light.

“Blaine!” Kurt says.

“Daddy!” Addie says, in a very similar tone of voice.

“I think Declan had a nightmare,” Blaine says quietly. Sometimes he forgets that the tone of his voice doesn’t matter to Declan. He makes sure his body language isn’t tense and he continues kneeling by the side of Declan’s bed. Blaine smiles at him. He seems to be calming down a bit, now that he’s waking up and the light’s on, but he’s still crying.

Addie stands next to Blaine and looks at Declan. She tilts her head to the side and he mirrors her. She frowns a little, and Declan starts to breathe easier. She crawls up onto the bed and sits in front of him. They continue making eye contact. When he doesn’t shrink back from her, she scoots into the corner next to him, shoulder to shoulder. She pats his knee.

Declan lets out a sigh of relief, and so do his fathers.

What happens next goes down in Anderson-Hummel history. Their new little boy wraps his arms around his new sister’s waist and immediately stops crying. Kurt sits on the other end of the bed and Blaine comes back with a warm washcloth to clean up Declan’s face. Blaine settles on the other side of Declan, who releases Addie, and crawls up onto Blaine’s lap. Blaine can feel Declan’s body still shaking, his heart pounding, but Declan is slowly calming down.

The sun is just barely rising over the horizon. Blaine’s just happy that he took this week off from work. He’s not sure that he could leave Declan like this, so worried, so nervous. Kurt moves to the other end of the bed next to Blaine, and Addie curls up on his lap. Kurt lays his head on Blaine’s shoulder and they stay like that until well after dawn.

They know they have a long road ahead of them, but somehow they’ll make it.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter occurs after the events of Chapter 2 of Circle of Fifths.

_Winter 2030  
Blaine is 36, Kurt is 37, Addie is 5, Declan is 3._

Declan starts school in January. Blaine and Kurt specifically sought out a school district with great programs for the deaf and hard of hearing.

Kurt stays with Declan at first, the teachers tell him it’s fine, he could stay all day if Declan needed him too. They know that these first days can be a tough transition. What helps is that this is not his first time he’s meeting the teachers or seeing the classroom, but it is the first time he’s there with the other kids.

And like the other occasions that Declan has been in this classroom, he makes a beeline for the train table, where another little boy is playing who has round coke bottle glasses. Kurt is all but forgotten within minutes. Then when it’s time to sit down for circle time, Declan comes over to Kurt looks at him meaningfully and waves goodbye before finding a spot with the other children and sitting down.

Kurt moves towards the door where he continues watching for several more minutes.

They’ve gone over what Declan’s day will be like a hundred times. He’ll be with all the kids first and then they’ll break down into small groups or one on one. That’s when they’ll work on his communication skills. Expanding his signing vocabulary will be priority number one.

Kurt quietly backs out of the classroom and heads home. He made a playdate for Addie after her own school day, just in case he had to spend a lot of time with Declan, so when he gets to the house he’s not quite sure what to do with himself. It’s only 10 am and he can’t remember when he last had this much time on his hands.

He starts by stripping all the beds in the house because it’s been at least a week. Then he scrubs down all the counters in the kitchen. He stands and surveys the scene, trying to think of what he could get done without children under foot. And Blaine. Sometimes Blaine hampers his cleaning sprees more than Addie ever could. Blaine will follow him around the house, asking Kurt over and over again if there’s anything he could help with. The answer is always no, yet Blaine continues to pester him. That’s not fair though, Kurt says to himself. Blaine is nothing if not well meaning. He’s a well-meaning pest, and that’s what counts.

Kurt continues on his scrubbing mission, making his way to the master bathroom. He scours the tub, the sinks, the floor, the toilet. He likes to keep the house neat, but he doesn’t always have time to do a full scrub like this. He and Blaine had discussed getting cleaning people in, but now that Kurt’s a stay at home dad, it doesn’t seem as necessary.

He keeps his cell phone close at hand, just in case Declan needs him. He’s supposed to be brought home on the bus around three. And Addie will be home soon after that, with Blaine coming in couple of hours later.

At 2:45, Kurt starts wandering around near the front door, dusting the woodwork in the foyer, keeping his eyes peeled for the bus that will drop Declan off right by their driveway. It comes 3 minutes early and Kurt runs out as soon as he hears it chugging down the street.

He sees Declan through the window, already trying to free himself from the car seat restraints and pointing at Kurt when the bus aid comes to help him. The aid brings him to the steps where Declan all but leaps into Kurt’s arms. Kurt kisses his cheek and they go inside.

Kurt gives Declan some juice and goes through his backpack, where a note from Declan’s teacher says he had a great day but will probably be exhausted from all the playing. It seems fairly generic to Kurt, but it puts him at ease.

When he looks back towards Declan in the living room, he has literally fallen asleep sitting up, juice cup in hand. Kurt retrieves the cup and lays him down on the couch, covering him with a blanket.

Kurt starts thinking about what to make for dinner tonight. He thinks maybe Declan’s favorite, mac and cheese with broccoli and hot dogs, the kid deserves it for being such a trooper.

He likes this stay at home dad business. Quite a lot.

~~~~~

Spring 2030

In the spring, a new family moves in next door. Blaine sees a mom and two little boys. He knows they should introduce themselves and they will, eventually.

Blaine and the kids are out taking Pic for a walk when they get a chance to meet their new neighbors. Declan is shy, hiding behind Blaine’s legs. And the truth of the matter is that Blaine’s feeling a little shy himself. He’ll never be great with spontaneous conversation with strangers. It’s just not his forte. Somehow Addie senses this about both her father and brother, and takes the conversational reigns, like the little adult that she is.

“This is my daddy,” she tells Jeanette, after Jeanette introduces herself and Jack. “His name is Blaine.”

Blaine shakes Jeanette’s hand and smiles, Addie’s introduction breaking the ice and the block in his throat. “And this mmm-my daughter Addie,” he says, not wanting to look like too much of a silent weirdo. “And my s-s-s-son, Declan.”

“Oh, hello!” Jeanette says to all of them in general and then looks directly at Declan. “And how old are you?”

“Declan can’t hear,” Addie tells her matter of factly. A shadow falls across Jeanette’s face, but Blaine’s gotten pretty good at reading people’s reactions to Declan’s hearing loss over the past six months. Jeanette’s face wasn’t worried or concerned or pitying, but just the kind of face a mom would make when she learns that a child has certain obstacles.

Blaine signs the question to him and Declan holds up three fingers. He’s still a bit concealed behind Blaine, but his curiosity about Jack will get the better of him any time now, Blaine thinks.

“Three!” Jeanette says, holding up her fingers, and putting a hand on Jack’s shoulder. “Jack’s three! Right Jack?”

Jack has been fairly quiet this whole time, but then he holds up three fingers himself. Then Jeannette gestures towards the toddler on her hip and says, “This is Robbie. He’s 18 months.” Robbie shoves his fingers in his mouth by way of greeting.

“I’m five!” Addie yelps, unable to keep her mouth even a moment longer.

“Yes, Addie’s five,” Blaine affirms.

They stand there for a few seconds, Pic sniffing at the new people that he’s never seen before, and then giving Jack a long puppy lick across his face.

Jack giggles. Which makes Declan smile and finally come out from behind Blaine. The two little boys eye each other for a moment. And then Jack picks his nose and the spell is broken.

“Well, Dad’s probably wah-wah-waiting for us,” Blaine says to the kids. “Buh-buh-ut you should come by sometime and meet mmm-my husband Kurt.” When Jeanette’s face falls, Blaine realizes why he had been uncomfortable. He was totally getting checked out. “We’ll have to get together for a bah-barbecue.”

“Sure, sure!” she says, plastering her smile back on her face.

He looks forward to telling Kurt. There’s no reason not to make his husband jealous even after all these years. And it’s not like she was hitting on him, she was just ... looking.

Blaine tells Kurt about their new neighbors, and about getting checked out, and Kurt insists on bringing over some cookies after dinner. When he returns from his pilgrimage he tells Blaine matter of factly, “I’m hotter than her.”

“I never said you weren’t,” Blaine retorts.

~~~~~

Summer 2030

It’s a quiet summer evening and they can hear the crickets and cicadas as twilight sets in.

“You could never hear this ssss-tuff in the city,” Blaine points out, tuning his guitar. His bare feet are propped up on Declan’s tricycle and there’s a beer in the fridge that he’s had his eye on all day. Though he’d always rather wait to drink until the kids go to bed. Maybe he could even convince Kurt he should have a glass of wine.

“You could, sometimes, kind of hear them, if you listened. Really hard.” Kurt insists, before cracking a smile. “And had one of those ear trumpets like old people in cartoons.”

Blaine chuckles appreciatively and strums his guitar. The kids are chasing the last of the lightning bugs in the grass.

“Ten minutes to tubby time!” Kurt yells towards them. “Addie, tell Dec.” Kurt would normally make Declan look at him, but in the waning light he’s not sure Declan would be able to see the signs, so it’s easier just to have Addie relay it this time.

“Lazy,” Blaine mutters with his pick stuck between his lips.

Kurt scoffs at him and sits back down next to Blaine. Pic comes over and settles near Kurt’s feet and Kurt leans over to mindlessly run his fingers through the soft tufts by Pic’s ears.

“Who’s a good puppy?” Kurt asks Piccolo, watching his ears raise. “Yes you are, when you’re not shedding all over my rugs. Yes you are!”

“Your p-puppy voice is a mmm-million times worse than your ba-ba-baby voice ever was.”

“Who asked you, Blaine?” Kurt says in the same voice. “Yes, who asked that mean old poophead anyway.”

Blaine continues to strum his guitar, chuckling here and there as he watches the kids frantically trying to catch lightning bugs and put them in a mason jar Kurt keeps around just for this very activity.

“So are you going to actually play something, or am I going to have to beat you over the head with that guitar?”

“Can I play something sad?”

“Why?”

“It’s stuck in my head, but you hate it, so I never play it.”

“Blaine,” Kurt begins seriously. “I told you to stop listening to sad music. It just makes you cry.”

“I did stop!” Blaine exclaims. “But this came on in Quick Check today and you know what happens when I hear a song I haven’t heard in a thousand years.”

“Fine, get it out of your system.”

Love of mine, someday you will die  
I’ll be close behind, I’ll follow you into the dark

“Oh God!” Kurt interrupts. “This is way worse than I expected!”

Blaine giggles mischievously and then continues singing.

As he gets farther into the song, Addie and Declan come up onto the deck, Addie hopping up on Kurt’s lap and Declan leaning on Blaine’s knee and touching the body of the guitar to feel the vibrations. He loves vibrations.

If there's no one beside you  
When your soul embarks  
Then I'll follow you into the dark  
Then I'll follow you into the dark

Blaine finishes with a flourish. It’s a sad song, but one he loves to play.

Addie gives him a standing ovation and when Declan notices he starts to clap too. Kurt leans over and kisses Blaine on the lips, with Addie oohing in the background, and then he starts applauding, too.

And when Blaine thinks he can’t love his little family anymore, Declan says “Yay Dad!”

Blaine looks over at Kurt, his grin wide. Two more words to add to Declan’s speaking list. The list is short, but they love that he’s trying, that he wants to engage in the world every way possible.

After the kids are washed and bedded, Kurt and Blaine cuddle on the couch, settling in to watch whatever the DVR has picked up over the course of the past week. Blaine even convinced Kurt that a glass of wine might be the perfect end to the day.

“Days like this, I can’t help but think that we’re kind of awesome, ya know?” Kurt murmurs sleepily.

“I totally agree,” Blaine says, planting a kiss on the top of Kurt’s head.

~~~~~

Fall 2030

Addie has made herself Declan’s official trick or treating guru. The holiday is still a month away, but she feels as though it’s important to start him early. Blaine and Kurt are pretty sure she has ulterior motives, but she’s too cute to stop.

To introduce the subject to him, she shows him multiple Halloween themed cartoons. After that, she makes him stand in the upstairs hallway and knock on bedroom doors, then Addie leaps over the threshold into the room and hands him the same fun size Snickers bar 15 times in a row. Declan tries to unwrap it and eat it at one point, but Blaine intercepts just in time. He’s pretty sure Addie would have pitched a fit if Declan had eaten her teaching aid.

About a week before Halloween Addie comes down to the kitchen where Blaine is putting away breakfast dishes.

“I have a very serious question,” Addie tells.

“Okay, tell me what this serious question is.”

“How do you say trick or treat in sign language?”

“Ohh,” Blaine says, stalling a bit. He’s sure he knows it, he just can’t quite remember it. It’s a bit complicated and not an exact translation.

“Why don’t w-w-we learn together?” he asks her. He brings her over to the laptop and they look up a video.

He loves these moments that he can share with Addie. She’s growing so fast. In the year since Declan joined their family, it seems like Addie has matured far beyond her six years. She was always something of the a little adult, but helping to take care of Declan has made her a whole different girl.

She’s sweeter and kinder and quicker to share. He supposes a lot of only children change when they get a sibling. But he and Kurt worried that Addie wouldn’t be particularly adaptable to having a little brother.

But she loves him. And Declan just can’t get enough of her.

In fact, as she sits on Blaine’s lap, he hears Declan’s feet, followed closely by Piccolo’s, on the wooden stairs and then pad into the family room. When Addie is out of his sight for too long, he’ll often go in search of her.

Addie turns in the chair and signs the ASL equivalent of “trick or treat” to Declan.

He signs back “What?”

Addie explains that’s what you say when knock on someone’s door.

“Candy! Candy! Candy!” he signs, big and expressive and giggling.

Halloween goes very smoothly, thanks to Addie’s tutelage, her fathers are sure.


	21. Chapter 21

June 2031  
Blaine and Kurt are 37, Addie is 6, Declan is 4

“I’m terrible at sign language,” Kurt moans one evening. He’s been sitting in front of his laptop for two hours, endlessly watching sign language tutorials. “I am a failure.”

“Aw, dumdum. No you’re not,” Blaine tells him, coming up behind him and massaging his shoulders.

Kurt’s mouth turns into a dramatic frown. “It’s like the only thing I even have to worry about these days. I mean, sure I freelance here and there, but my focus is just to take care of the kids and learn to sign. And I still can’t do it! It’s been almost two years!”

Blaine listens patiently. Kurt is having a surprising amount of issues learning to sign. He works really, really hard on it, but his signs are jerky, like he’s always nervous. He does countless tutorials, takes classes, gets tips from everyone he can about it, but nothing seems to help.

“What if I never learn?” Kurt whines.

“Stop worrying so mmm-much. You’re doing fine.”

Kurt shrugs, only half listening.

“Dumdum, it’s late. Why don’t we go to b-b-bed? ” Blaine puts his hand on Kurt’s back and rubs what he hopes are comforting circles. Kurt sighs and his shoulders droop.

“You’re right. That’s enough for today,” Kurt says as he stands.

Then Blaine snaps the lid of Kurt’s laptop shut and turns to embrace him.

“I just want to be able to communicate with him the way you and Addie do,” Kurt says pulling back from Blaine.

“You do!”

Kurt gives him a scathing look.

“Fine! You’re close though. You will! It’ll all fall into place sss-soon!”

“I guess I just worry as he gets older, he’ll think I don’t love him enough or something. He’ll think I don’t try hard enough to learn. He’ll just see that I don’t … communicate with him as well, or as much as I should.”

“Oh, Kurt,” Blaine breathes. He gets it now. What Kurt’s been internalizing for months, almost years at this point.

Blaine thinks about what Kurt says most of the next day, rolling around in his mind some way to make it easier, some way to help Kurt. He knows immersion is important, maybe they need to stop speaking at home for a while. But that’s potentially difficult with Addie, because as much as she does understand sign, she’s still a child and needs to be spoken to (in a loud voice, some might call it yelling) at times.

Over the weekend they go to Ikea as a family. Kurt wants new furniture for the deck and he’s been eyeing a set for a while online. It’s finally on sale and Saturday’s a good time for them to go, even if it is always a madhouse there on Saturdays.

Blaine and the kids wander through the showroom while Kurt measures and sits and thinks and re-measures and sketches floor plans of the deck.

Blaine takes Addie and Declan to look at the kids furniture. Addie picks out at least a dozen things that she wants for her birthday and Declan is enthralled with the carpet that has a road map on it. He plops down and pulls a matchbox car out of his pocket. Blaine didn’t even know he’d taken it with him, but he’s happy Declan is so good at entertaining himself. Blaine gets a text from Kurt saying that he thinks he’s ready to go make the purchase.

Blaine gets Addie and Declan’s attention and they merge into the line of pedestrian traffic going in the direction of patio furniture. Blaine has Declan by the hand and, as instructed, Addie has a finger through his belt loop because Blaine was tasked with carrying a vase that Kurt wants to buy.

A split second is all it takes though. Blaine stops to rearrange his grip on the vase at the same time Declan makes a little shrieking noise and wiggles out of Blaine’s grasp, running backwards into the crowd of people behind them. Blaine immediately loses sight of him.

“Where did he go?” he asks Addie. “Do you s-s-see him?”

Her face is ashen and she shakes her head. He pulls her along, hoping they’ll find Declan back by the kids furniture. They backtrack, but don’t see him. Blaine runs through the rows of dressers, dragging Addie along. They go through the mattresses and the beds, they take a jog through the nearest room display.

Blaine is so frustrated. He can’t even call out for him. Declan does speak more than he used to, but Blaine’s not sure he would call out for help or be able to make himself understood if he asked someone for help. How are they ever going to find him? What would make him run away like that?

His phone keeps buzzing in his pocket, and he knows it’s Kurt, but how is he ever going to face Kurt and tell him that he lost Declan?

He knows that he’s going to have to find store security. It’s his only choice. There’s no way he’s going to find a deaf little boy all by himself. And he’s going to need to tell Kurt first. But he really doesn’t want to leave the area, just in case Declan is still trying to get back to the rug for some reason.

He screws up all of his courage, squeezes Addie’s hand, and plucks his phone out of his pocket.

11:12 am  
Kurt: Where are you guys?  
Kurt: I need your opinion.  
Kurt: Why is this such a difficult decision?

11:16 am  
Kurt: Why is Declan here without you?

Blaine lets out a long sigh of relief. He would have never guessed that Declan would go find Kurt. When Blaine sees Declan he runs to him and picks him up, holding him tight. Declan wiggles back and shows Blaine his car, triumphant. Blaine and Kurt do their best to explain why Declan can’t do that, why he can’t run away from his parents, and Declan nods along, eyes wide. They have him repeat back when they told him, and he seems to understand.

Later that night, Blaine sits down on the couch with Kurt for a serious discussion.

“Okay, today was b-b-basically one of the mmmm-most traumatizing things that has ever happened to me,” Blaine says.

“Understandably. I thought it was weird that he showed up without you.”

Blaine’s quiet for a moment. “It, it, it got me thinking about cochlear implants again.”

“I thought we decided that wasn’t the way to go for Declan. That someday he might have a real shot of getting his hearing restored because of the way he lost it.”

“I know, I know. With science mmm-moving at this pace it’s a possibility. Buh-buh-ut how far away is it? Ten years? Twenty years? Without b-b-being able to call out his name? With you feeling like you can’t communicate fully with him?”

“Oh no, don’t you dare blame this on my slow learning,” Kurt interrupts. “That’s not fair, I’m doing my best and we get by.”

“We do, but think about how much b-b-better we could get by if he had an implant.”

Kurt nods. “It’s expensive.”

“It is. But I-I-I-I have good insurance and it’s not pah, prah, prohibitive.”

“I’ve been thinking I should go back to work anyway. Declan could go to full day pre-school this year. It would be good for him in fact. And with my added salary we’d be in better shape.”

Blaine nods. “Wow, I had no idea you wah-were thinking about that.”

“It’s good to be home, but it might be time for a change.”

“Alright, it’s something to look into.”

So they do. The technology has grown in leaps and bounds. The transmitters are barely any larger than a normal hearing aid. There’s still anesthesia and surgery involved, but everything is less invasive and faster than it ever has been before.

Once they fully discuss the subject with everyone under the sun, various audiologists, pediatricians, Declan’s teachers, Matt, Chad, their parents, random strangers on the street, they finally decide that this might actually be the right move for Declan. While they would hate the make the wrong decision, time is ticking on him gaining back significant speech after three years of not being able to hear. But they think they’re up to the challenge. And they’re pretty sure Declan is too.

October 2031

Declan is still very out of it as Blaine holds him in an armchair in his hospital room. He’s curled up tightly on Blaine’s lap, a large bandage around his head and a mound of gauze over his right ear. Blaine has him positioned so that his “good ear” is laying on Blaine’s chest.

What he can’t believe is how big Declan’s been getting lately. They shaved his red hair down to a bristly crew cut before surgery, figuring it would make taking care of his incision easier, but what it really brought into light was how he’s not such a baby anymore. His face has lost a lot of its baby roundness and somehow less hair made him seem taller.

Blaine feels bad, putting him through this. He knows why they’re doing it and he’s pretty sure everything will be okay in the end. But right now, all he knows is that his boy is shivering and hurting in his lap. Declan’s eyes blink heavily, the area under them bruised looking. He cuddles in tighter to Blaine.

Kurt comes back into the room with coffee for both of them, surprised to see Declan out of bed.

“He needed a hug,” Blaine explains at a normal volume. And then he smiles. They’re so used to not whispering around Declan, it’s going to take some thought in the future. Not that he can hear right now, but once his implant is activated, all bets are off.

Kurt puts a hand on Declan’s back and he swings his head slowly towards Kurt. Declan puts his arms up for Kurt to take him. Blaine’s not sure if he should feel hurt, or if Declan would rather be stood with and walked around at the moment.

He signs something to Kurt that Blaine doesn’t quite catch. Blaine tips his head curiously.

“Says his head feels too big,” Kurt supplies.

Blaine sighs, but smiles. He signs to Declan that his head is too big.

Declan raises his hand to touch the bandages and Kurt signs that he can’t do that, that he needs to be careful. Declan puts his arms around Kurt’s neck instead and closes his eyes again. Kurt bounces him a little in his arms, as much as you can bounce a gangly four year old. He kisses Declan’s cheek and hums a little bit.

Blaine sips his coffee and watches as Declan relaxes, and Kurt puts him back in his hospital bed.

Declan heals pretty quickly, and within a few days of his surgery, he’s up and running. The activation is scheduled for about a month after he’s implanted and Kurt and Blaine are anxious to see how this all works out.

They’re not sure how much Declan’s going to understand until it actually happens. The idea of the activation is all very abstract to him, the idea of hearing even more abstract.

When the day comes, a few days before Thanksgiving, Kurt is just about vibrating out of his skin. Blaine’s anxious too, but this is one of those times where it seems Kurt is taking the brunt of the emotion.

They decided to bring Addie with them, even though right up until that morning she was supposed to go spend the afternoon with Jeanette and her kids. But then she begged them, pleading that it’s not fair, that she wants to talk to Declan right away too, and that they should do it as a family.

They don’t see any flaws in her logic.

“I feel like we should have planned the first words he ever hears from us. Like we could have come up with something great.”

“Oh man, we totally should have,” Blaine agrees.

“Yeah,” Addie pipes in from the back seat, “The first words he hears you say will probably be ‘Addie be quiet,’ or ‘Addie don’t be so hyperactive,’ or ‘Addie your hysterics are exhausting me.’”

“We do s-s-say those things a lot,” Blaine admits.

“But you’re always loud and hyperactive,” Kurt adds. “And your hysterics do exhaust me.”

She shrugs and makes a prissy told-you-so face.

Even though they’ve been prepped for this appointment, it still goes differently than they expected. There would have been no time for rehearsed phrases. They’re pretty sure the first thing Declan hears is Kurt saying, “Blaine, are you filming?”

Because that’s the sound that makes Declan’s head whip up from the Legos he’s playing with. His jaw drops and he squints at them.

“Did you hear that, Dec?” Blaine asks, holding his phone up a bit so he can record Declan’s reactions.

Declan’s jaw falls farther, and then his eyes go wide.

Addie taps his arm and signs “Do you hear daddy?”

While he’s looking at Addie, Blaine speaks again. “Declan,” he says, just a little sing-songy. He can’t help himself. He’s approaching giddy.

Declan looks over at him and smiles. He’s tapping a block on the table, but doesn’t even seem to notice. He’s all smiles and surprised eyes.

Then the audiologist changes frequencies a bit and Declan looks down to where his hand is tapping and he taps harder and faster. And then he stops. And then he taps again.

Then Kurt, who’s been fairly quiet during this whole exchange because his emotions are getting the better of him, leans over and taps his fingers on the table. And once again, Declan’s face is pure delight. He smiles at everyone. And then looks a little nervous, a little shy suddenly.

“What’s the matter, Dec?” Kurt asks.

Declan moves over to Kurt and frowns and points at his ear.

“Does it hurt?” Kurt signs and speaks.

Declan thinks about this for a second and then shakes his head hesitantly.

“Is it a little weird?” Kurt asks.

Declan nods and hides his face on Kurt’s arm. Kurt pats his back. “It’s okay, Dec. It’s alright. Don’t be shy,” he murmurs.

Declan hums. And then he stands up straight like he’s shocked.

Then he hums louder.

And louder.

Then Addie starts humming and Declan turns to her wide eyed.

They both stop humming and laugh.

Kurt pulls Declan up onto his lap and Declan relaxes.

The rest of the appointment goes on without a hitch. He seems less afraid and shy by the time they leave and Blaine is thrilled that he has it all on video so he can send it to their families. And so that he can watch it over and over again himself.


	22. Chapter 22

_April 2032  
Kurt is 38, Blaine is 37, Addie is 7, Declan is 5. _

Declan’s implant is by no means a miracle, but they were never promised a miracle. What it brings though is more options. Declan speaks more, learns faster, and if they lose sight of him somewhere, he can almost always hear them calling his name. Although to be fair, if they ever lost him again in a place like Ikea, they would have to ask all of the shoppers to be perfectly silent while they called out his name. And even then it might not work. But it’s still a great relief to his fathers.

He adjusts well to the implant, and he gets better at lip reading, but they make sure he continues to sign. His speech may always be a bit difficult to understand, but he gets his point across.

He gets his point across better to the whole world. He’s less reserved, more engaged, and seems to love the sound of his own laugh.

Life is never without controversy, and they do get some dirty looks every once in a while. The Deaf community as a whole has not embraced the implant. Blaine understands, trying to explain it to Kurt from his perspective as an educator and having studied Deaf culture in the past. They watch documentaries; they read books and articles on the subject. They did a lot of this before the implant too, obviously, they were fastidious in their research, but now that the reality of it has set in, they feel the need for even more knowledge.

They have fewer worries when he comes to his safety, but what they worry most about is that Declan will never find a place in the hearing or Deaf world. Though for now he’s a happy kid and that’s what counts. Sometimes you have to let the future take care of itself.

Many of the kids in Declan’s class have implants, or at least hearing aids. His school program takes a Total Communication approach, so they speak and sign for the kids. The teachers all wear microphones and the various apparatus can be set for the individual kids.

Blaine and Kurt are called into school just after April vacation. His teacher doesn’t say much more than that she would like to meet with both of his parents. They ask Declan if he’s been good in school or if there’s something going on that they should know about it and he tells them honestly that there isn’t.

When they walk into the classroom, Blaine is once again reminded of the classroom much like this one he spent a year in. He loved those kids, still remembers many of their names because he wanted so much to be friends with them. He could never quite bring himself to stop being shy. At night he would look at his class picture and tell his mom all their names. And she would ask who he liked the most and he would always say all of them.

He hopes Declan is having the same experience he did, but with less time spent hiding underneath tables.

When they sit down, Declan’s head teacher, there are several co-teachers, paraprofessionals, and shadows in the room, but there’s one lead teacher, Miss Keller, jumps into the topic immediately.

“Declan is excelling,” she tells them.

They both let out a sigh of relief.

“We had no idea what you were going to tell us,” Kurt says. “We knew last time we spoke with you, he was doing fine, but we figured things can change.”

Blaine nods along, as he tends to in these situations.

“Well, he’s only had his implant activated for six months, but in those months, he’s grown in leaps and bounds within this classroom.”

“That’s good news,” Kurt says.

“It is! Which is why I called you in,” she continues. “I’d like you to consider putting him in a mainstream kindergarten in September.” She smiles and looks at them expectantly.

Blaine bites his lip, having been quietly taking in everything up to this point. He clears his throat and gets his thoughts in order. He can feel “Blaine the educator” preparing to emerge.

“You want to mm-mainstream him b-b-because you feel like he’s currently excelling?” Blaine asks.

“Yes, definitely. It would be so good for him to be in a mainstream setting.”

“How do you know he w-w-would continue excelling?” Blaine asks.

Kurt looks at his husband, relieved that Blaine actually knows what questions to ask.

“Well, there’s always a chance ...” Miss Keller trails off.

Blaine waits to see if she’s going to finish her thought. When it’s apparent that she has nothing else to say, he squares his shoulders. “When we were looking to mmm-move to New Jersey, we specifically chose this dah-district for its Hearing Impaired Program. We wanted him to have all the advantages pah-possible. He’s only had the implant for six mmm-months. He’s adjusting well, buh-buh-ut there’s no way to know how he might level off, if it just seems like he’s making so many strides simply because it’s the b-b-beginning.”

“But this would be giving him more advantages. And he would still be pulled out of his classroom for speech therapy and for reading.”

“One of the b-b-biggest issues with mmm-mainstreaming a kid with a cochlear implant is classroom acoustics. Can you guarantee his mmm-mainstream classroom will have proper acoustics?” Blaine asks.

“Um, well. Most of our classrooms are fine.” Her voice is hesitant though.

“Could he sssss-till have an interpreter?” Blaine asks.

“Yes, yes. Of course, there would be someone in the classroom who signs, an aid, or a shadow,” Miss Keller assures them. 

“Do we have to decide right this second?” Kurt asks.

“No, not at all. I just wanted to present my opinion. You have time to decide.”

Both men nod.

“We’ll think about it,” Blaine says.

“Yes, we will,” Kurt agrees.

They thank her for her time and head home.

~~~~~

“Wow!” is the first thing Kurt says when they get out to the car. “You were a superstar in there.”

“Thanks,” Blaine says, blushing. He scratches his head.

“What do you think?”

“I think it sss-seems premature,” Blaine says, turning on the car but not putting it into drive. “It also kind of makes me wah-wonder if they already know that their program is going to, to, to be overenrolled in the fall and they’re trying to pick off sssss-ome of the kids preemptively.”

“Should we even consider it?” Kurt asks, rolling down the window to enjoy the cool April air.

“It’s tough to be objective when it’s your kid. I think w-w-we should watch him closely and see what we think. I-I-I don’t know if he’s hearing well enough for a mainstream ssss-setting. I would hate for him to get lost in the shuffle.”

“He held his own with all the cousins at Christmas, and that was only a month or two after his implant was activated..”

Blaine nods. Kurt’s not wrong, but that’s a much different setting than the classroom. Blaine’s not fully prepared for this debate. And he’s not entirely sure what’s rubbing him the wrong way at the moment.

“Let’s take a, a, a, a w-wait and see approach for now,” he tells Kurt. “We have time. Give him another month.”

When they get home, the kids are in the family room with Jeanette and her kids. The neighbors excuse themselves quickly and head next door, sensing that it’s family time.

Upon seeing his dads walk in the room, Declan stands up and pats his hair down flat on his head. Blaine smiles, because it’s Declan’s one nervous tell.

“Can we talk to you, Dec?” Blaine asks. Addie makes a little “ooooh” noise and then runs up the stairs, under the assumption that Declan’s in trouble.

“Am I bad?” he asks.

“Aw, no you aren’t,” Blaine says. “Come here.”

Declan runs over and Blaine scoops him, hugging him tightly and kissing his cheek. He sets him on the counter. Declan slumps a little bit, looking awfully downtrodden for such a little boy. Of all the things Declan is, at the top of the list is definitely sensitive.

“You’re a good boy,” Kurt says. “Your teacher just wanted to tell us what a good boy you are.”

“Really?” he asks, looking at Kurt and smiling.

“Yup,” Kurt says.

Declan sits up straighter and smiles brighter.

Kurt takes his time speaking and signing his next questions slowly. “Do you have any trouble understanding the teachers at school? When they speak? Not just when they sign, but can you hear them?”

Declan squints his eyes in thought. “Yes,” he says, definitively.

“Do you understand them?” Blaine asks.

He scrunches his nose.

“Sometimes?” Blaine prompts.

Declan nods.

“Do you understand us?” Kurt asks.

Declan nods emphatically.

“All the time?” Blaine asks.

Declan smiles, and bounces a little as he nods his head energetically and swings his feet.

“Can you do us a favor?” Kurt asks and Declan nods.

“Can you tell us if you’re having trouble understanding in school?”

“Okay,” Declan says.

“Do you have any questions?” Kurt asks.

“Can I go play with Addie?”

“Of course,” Blaine says, helping him down from the counter.

~~~~~

Declan walks towards Addie’s open bedroom door. She’s laying on the floor in front of Barbie’s Dream House, which is mostly lived in by Lego guys. Barbie lives under her bed, which she pretends is a deep and endless cavern.

“Ooooh!” Addie says when she sees Declan. “I bet you’re in trouble!”

“No,” he tells her simply.

“No?”

“No.”

“When the dads had to go see my teacher in preschool it was because I was calling the other kids names.”

“I didn’t call anybody names!” Declan exclaims. Addie’s upsetting him, and when he’s upset his speech is more difficult to understand, so the sentence comes out more like “Din’t caw neboy namesh!” But Addie understands, in part because Declan signs it too.

“I didn’t say you did, I said that’s why they had to go for me.”

“Oh. Did they get mad at you?”

“Well, I was calling the other kids Poop and DumDum,” she starts.

Declan tries not to laugh. Addie’s annoying him and he doesn’t want to give her the satisfaction. But that’s a dumb reason to get in trouble.

“So I wasn’t really in trouble. But they said I couldn’t call kids that anymore.”

Declan sits down next to her and makes a couple of the Lego guys go into the kitchen for dinner.

She nudges his arm. “You’re really not in trouble?”

“No.” He makes a pouty face. He’s not sure why Addie’s acting like this and it makes him angry.

“Cause I would be on your side.”

“What?” he asks, he’s sure he heard her wrong. He watches her mouth as she repeats what she just said.

“I’m your sister,” she adds. “We have to stick together. The dads are good guys, but sometimes we’re gonna get in trouble and we need to be on each other’s sides.”

Declan thinks about that. It’d be nice to know that Addie’s always on his team.

“Okay,” he says.

“And you’ll be on my team right?” she asks him.

He nods and kisses her cheek.

“Ewwwww!” she yelps. “Declan germs!” And she stands up. But she’s smiling and laughing and jumping up and down, so Declan knows she’s not really being mean, she’s just teasing him.

“I’m gonna get you with more germs!” he yells, and stands up too. He sticks his tongue out at her and pretends to lick her.

They spend 10 minutes running around the house, trying to “give each other germs,” until Kurt tells them that he’s going to tie them to chairs if they don’t stop it.

~~~~~

Later that night as they get ready for bed, Blaine tells Kurt that he could hear the kids talking this afternoon.

“We b-b-better watch out; they’ve formed an alliance,” Blaine says.

“We can take them,” Kurt says.

“You say that now, b-but 10 years from now they’re going to be angry teenagers and they’ll probably get the, the, the better of us.”

“Leave a note for ourselves in 10 years, in a time capsule,” Kurt says, plopping on the bed. “Or write it in your little red moleskin notebook where you re-transcribed the paper that used to have all the nice things I said to you on it.”

Blaine feigns shock as he settles in on his side of the mattress. “How do you know about mmm-my little notebook?”

“I know everything about you Blaine Anderson,” Kurt says, hinging up and kneeling to kiss him. “Every. Little. Thing.”

Blaine pulls back. “Stop r-r-reading my diary!”

“It’s not your diary. You write grocery lists in there!” Kurt exclaims

“Very personal grocery lists,” Blaine says, sitting up to tackle Kurt back onto the bed.

“You’re lucky I love you, or else I would hate you,” Kurt mutters as Blaine peppers his face with kisses.


	23. Chapter 23

_August 2033  
Blaine and Kurt are 39, Addie is 8, Declan is 6._

It’s summer and now that Kurt’s gone back to work, Blaine is the sole caregiver during the day. It reminds him of those early summers, just after Addie was born.

Unlike those early summers, he doesn’t bother making a lot of plans. The kids are 8 and 6 and often have agendas of their own. Wanting to go to friend’s houses, or begging to see a movie. They have passes to the town pool, and the kids take swimming lessons a few mornings a week. Some days he drops them off at the summer recreation program, where they play with their friends and do cheap crafts. If they go on Fridays, he sends them with seven dollars each for pizza and a soda. The cost of it makes him cringe, but they love participating in the greasy ritual. And they come home with smiles, lanyard keychains, and scraped knees.

Some mornings Blaine wakes them up early and gets them all ready to go to the beach. They eat a quick breakfast, and then sit in commuter traffic and blast the top 40 radio station. There will always be certain songs Blaine associates with these summers.

Kurt is jealous, as he tends to be about these things. Sometimes he plays hooky just to spend extra time with them, but he can’t all the time, and this is one of those days.

So he kisses his family goodbye and watches them drive away, wishing he was in the front seat with Blaine.

Blaine wishes Kurt was there too.

But he doesn’t have time to dwell on his longing for Kurt. Instead he listens to Addie sing the latest boy band hit and Declan stares out the window at the passing cars while wearing Blaine’s least expensive pair of sunglasses. They’ve bought Declan sunglasses of his own, but somehow he always ends up wearing a pair of his dad’s.

The day is perfect, beautiful, though the forecast calls for pop up showers later in the afternoon. But Blaine figures they’ll worry about that later. They spend the morning digging in the sand and making a moat for a castle that doesn’t exist. His kids always want to build moats, but never castles.

“Even if you guys don’t want to build a castle, we should make something in the mmm-middle. This moat is too nice not to be guarding s-s-something.” Blaine speaks and signs, surveying their work. They left Declan’s transmitter at home, too many places to lose it at the beach and it’s not waterproof. Maybe when he’s a little older they’ll get him a waterproof one, but for now they figure he can deal without it at the beach or the pool.

“A puppy?” Declan says, signing.

“A snowman?” Addie suggests, also signing.

“You can’t build a snowman with sand!” Declan protests, his voice loud and his outrage making his signs sloppy.

“I can do whatever I want!” Addie tells him heatedly.

“Whoa, whoa. Everybody calm down,” Blaine says, coming to stand between them. They’re both wielding shovels like weapons and Blaine doesn’t feel like dealing with an injury today.

“We can build ssss-something that looks like a snowman out of the ssss-sand,” Blaine says. “Okay,” he affirms looking at Addie, who nods. “Okay?” he says looking at Declan. Declan nods too.

He loves when he can nip arguments in the bud. They set to work, attempting to build a snowman out of sand with a moat around it.

They get a decent base going, the sand is wet enough that they build a rounded mound and it sticks together. But Blaine’s quick to realize they’re never going to quite get a sphere made out of this sand, so he sends the kids off to find shells and sticks to create details while he comes up with a solution.

As they walk away, Blaine reminds Addie to hold Declan’s hand. And he reminds Declan to keep an eye on Addie. While they’re gone, he works on reshaping the mound, and keeping an eye on them himself, too. They don’t stray too far, just out of earshot along the water’s edge.

When the kids return from their expedition, Blaine has a snowman-esque sand blob. They seem happy enough with it.

They put a sand bucket on its head for a hat and Addie found two round black stones for eyes. They make a scarf for it out of a beach towel and make sea shell buttons down the front. Addie laments not being able to find any sticks for arms, but Blaine tells her it’s fine, he’s just holding his hands behind his back so they can see them. Which prompts Declan to run behind the snowman and inform Addie that there are no hands back there. She handles the news pretty well, and simply asks for a picture with the snowman. That turns into a photo shoot.

After that they go in the ocean, neither of the kids are scared of water. Declan is practically fearless when it comes down to it, letting the waves crash over him, and standing up laughing. Addie goes out a little bit farther than usual, to where she can’t quite reach the bottom, Blaine watching carefully in case she needs help, and then she swims half a dozen crawl strokes back to Blaine and Declan.

After their swim, they run up the beach to their towels. The wind is whipping differently than it was earlier and those late afternoon showers seem like they might be coming in sooner rather than later. It’s not quite midday yet, but the sky to the east looks almost like dusk.

“I think we b-b-better get going guys,” Blaine says. He sees a flash of lightning far out over the ocean and makes them move faster.

They’re off the beach mere minutes later, they didn’t bring much with them and they even remembered to grab the bucket and the extra towel off the snow/sand man. They get to the car quickly, having parked close because of the early hour they arrived and that’s when the sky opens up. Blaine gets the kids buckled, and then jumps in the driver’s seat. He starts the car, windshield wipers flying and the kids are giggling in the back.

“What are you two laughing about?” Blaine asks, glancing at them in the rearview mirror.

“I dunno,” Addie says, voice filled with giggles. “Everything’s funny right now.”

Blaine smiles and backs out of the space.

As they drive home, the atmosphere in the car is quieter than in the morning. The kids are starving, according to Addie. Blaine hands them the emergency granola bars he has so they can make it home. The plan was to get slices of pizza for lunch, but it was forgotten in the race to the car. 

When they do get home, it just keeps raining as hard as ever. But there’s no lightning.

They stand under the overhang on the back deck and Blaine examines their feet.

“How about instead of shower you let the rain wash the sss-sand off?” he says, half joking.

But the kids take him seriously and the next 20 minutes are spent trying to get sand of them while they dance around in rain puddles in the backyard.

“Aw, Dec,” Blaine mutters, as he sees Declan splatter mud up his legs. It’s a good thing they have an actual mud room. Blaine sprays them down with the hose on the deck and then they head inside. He tells them to go change and starts making grilled cheese.

They eat lunch and hang around the house, the kids a little bummed out that their beach day got rained out. Later in the afternoon, when the rain was supposed to start, the sun comes out and immediately starts drying up the ground.

Declan looks over at Blaine from where he’s building a tower of Legos with Addie. “Can we take the training wheels off my bike?”

He’s asked them to do this a few times lately, but always at weird moments. The first time he asked was as they were getting ready to leave for a week in Ohio. Other times he’s asked while they were getting him ready for bed. Kurt and Blaine discussed it, but it never came up while he was actually riding his bike. So they figured he liked the idea in the abstract, but wasn’t really ready to actually learn.

“You want to?” Blaine asks.

Declan nods enthusiastically.

“Alright, let’s do this,” Blaine agrees.

He backs the car out of the driveway and parks it in front of the apron to make sure no one pulls in while he’s working with Declan. Then he opens up the garage and sets to work taking off the training wheels. It doesn’t take long at all; apparently they weren’t on all that well in the first place.

Addie comes out through the garage.

“Daddy, why aren’t you wearing shoes?”

“Because I am r-r-rugged and manly,” he says.

“You’re going to get a splinter,” she tells him imperiously.

Declan comes out then, wearing flip flops.

“Nuh-uh,” Blaine says, wagging a finger at him. “You need to put on ssss-neakers if you’re going to ride your bike.”

Declan comes back out three minutes later wearing dress shoes without socks.

“Dec,” Blaine says, trying to keep his impatience at bay. “That’s not a great idea either. Where are you sneakers?”

“I dunno,” Declan says, pouting.

Blaine goes inside in search of Declan’s sneakers, finally locating them under the couch in the basement. When they get back outside, Addie’s riding Declan’s bike in wide circles without her shoes on.

“Adelaide!” Declan yells before Blaine can even get his mouth moving.

Blaine can’t help but laugh. Declan says her name with the same emphasis that Kurt does.

“Alright, alright,” she says, braking and getting off the bike.

“And put on some shoes!” Declan tells her.

“I am rugged and manly!” she shouts back, folding herself into a long forgotten Little Tikes Cozy Coupe that resides in the back corner of the garage. He keeps meaning to give it to Matt. Apparently Julia’s pregnant with twins.

Blaine decides against fighting Addie on the shoe issue. He’s far too engrossed in reading a how-to guide on his phone with instructions for teaching your child to ride a two-wheeler.

He scratches his head in thought. It looks complicated. Instead he conjures up a far and distant memory of his dad teaching him how to ride a bike. Or it might have been Cooper. Either way all they did was hold the seat and then let go at the right moments without even telling him.

“Alright, Dec, get on,” Blaine says after Declan has his helmet on. It took them a lot of research to find a bike helmet that would comfortably accommodate his transmitter, but they did eventually find one. Blaine leans down and tucks Dec’s shoelaces into his sneakers so they won’t get caught up in the peddles or the spokes.

He looks up at Declan and speaks and signs to him. “I’m going to hold onto the b-b-back and we’re going to go up the driveway and, and, and then turn around and go down the driveway. When you’re ready, tell mmm-me, and I’ll let go, okay?”

Declan looks very serious, and a little scared, as he nods.

Blaine puts his hand up for a high five and Declan hits it with a solid smack.

They practice for a few minutes, up and down the driveway, Declan peddling and doing his best. Addie has inched the tiny car out onto the driveway, and she calls out encouragement from the driver’s seat.

“Stop looking back at me, Dec, and just think about peddling,” Blaine says during one of their breaks. “You need to keep up your mmm-momentum.”

“What if you let go and I can’t stop?” he asks.

“Well, then head towards the grass and just let yourself fall. It won’t hurt as mmm-much if you fall in the, the, the grass.”

About a half an hour later, Kurt pulls up in front of the house to an interesting tableaux.

Declan is confidently riding around in wide circles on the paved driveway, Addie is cheering from a tiny car, and Blaine is hopping up and down on one foot, seemingly trying to cheer through the pain.

Kurt exits his car and Declan rides his bike right up to him, expertly braking.

“I learned, Dad!” he says to Kurt.

“I see that!” Kurt says.

Addie tries to leap out of the little car to follow Declan, but instead she gets her foot caught and topples the whole thing onto the driveway, with her underneath.

“What happened to Daddy?” Kurt asks. Declan walks his bike back up the driveway

“I rode over his foot with my bike on accident,” Declan explains sadly. “But he said he’s rugged and manly and that’s why he doesn’t need to wear shoes. And that’s why Addie isn’t wearing shoes. She’s rugged and manly too. And we also made a snowman out of sand.”

Kurt tries to follow all of this, but it’s a lot to take in. He and Declan move closer to Blaine and Addie and Kurt can hear what they’re saying to each other now. Blaine is trying to right Addie’s car and Addie is whimpering underneath.

“You’re fine,” Blaine is telling Addle. “I-I-I can tell you’re fine.”.

“I know! But it was scary! I saw my whole life flash before my eyes,” she shrieks.

Kurt kisses Blaine’s cheek.

“You guys seem to have had quite the day,” Kurt muses.

“We did indeed.”

And all three of them start talking at once.


	24. Chapter 24

November 2034  
Kurt is 41, Blaine is 40, Addie is 10, Declan is 7.

It’s a rainy day during teacher’s convention and the kids have been very quiet. Blaine’s paying bills at the kitchen table when he looks up and he sees both kids standing there, with faces that are obviously supposed to be angelic. The kids ate breakfast, got dressed, and have been playing together happily for hours. He’d probably say yes to anything either of them asked for since they’ve been so well behaved.

“What’s up?” he asks, turning in his seat to look at them.

“We’re hungry!” Declan shouts.

“What are you hungry for?” Blaine signs.

“Chicken McNuggets!” Addie shouts.

Blaine smiles. His love for chicken has been passed on to his children, that’s for sure. His grandmother would be proud.

“Why are we yelling?” Blaine asks, yelling now too.

The kids giggle, but don’t actually seem to have an answer.

“Go put on rain boots!” he yells.

They get into the car and halfway to McDonald’s the gentle drizzle turns into a monsoon. Blaine inches along, wipers flying, and as he pulls into the parking lot of the nearest McDonald's, he quickly weighs his options.

He hates drive thrus. He always stutters. It never fails. Drive thrus are almost worse than the phone. Not to mention that the line is long giving him plenty of time to psyche himself out and mess up. But running in the rain with the kids is going to be hard. Especially because they both have rain boots on. So Blaine takes a deep breath and decides to get in line for the drive thru. In the end, stuttering seems like a better option than children stumbling across the parking lot and everyone getting drenched.

Blaine hops on the end of the line and puts the car in park. He turns down the radio, and makes sure that the kids both want Happy Meals with McNuggets.

He has plenty of time to write down their order in his notepad, which should help cut down on his stumbling when it’s time to order. After about 10 minutes, he’s finally up.

“Can I help you?” the voice says from the speaker.

He opens his mouth and nothing comes out.

“I’m sorry, I can’t hear you.”

He clears his throat and blinks hard.

“Hello?” the voice says, curious rather than impatient. But if Blaine knows anything, he knows that it won’t stay like that.

“Daddy?” Addie says.

He clears his throat again and taps his palm against the steering wheel in a rhythm.

“Hah.” That’s all he can get out.

“Daddy?” Addie says again, more concerned.

“Hello!” the voice from the speaker says again this time booming. “Do you need some type of assistance?”

“Daddy, just talk,” Addie says impatiently.

Blaine continues tapping his palm against the wheel, though now he’s doing it harder and harder, with less and less of a rhythm. He needs to stop. He needs to focus. He needs to get the phrase “happy meal” out. But he just ... can’t. And it’s even more frustrating because he never has trouble with h-words.

There’s mumbling in the background and then a different voice comes through the speaker. “If you need further assistance, please drive up to the first window.”

Blaine hears Addie make a noise of impatience, as she dives over the front seat, plucks the notebook out of Blaine’s hand, and leans over him out the window to read the order.

Blaine’s jaw drops. She reads it quickly and efficiently.

“Thank you, ma’am,” the voice says. “Please drive up.”

Addie gives him a disappointed look and then sighs heavily and dives back over the seat. Declan looks at her wide eyed. Blaine has no idea what to say. He pays for their food and picks it up, and then pulls into the nearest parking space. He takes a deep breath and rubs his eyes.

He turns around and looks at his daughter.

“Adelaide,” he begins, his voice deadly serious, and finally working. “What dah-dah-do you think you just did?”

Her jaw is set.

“I helped,” she says simply, looking him in the eye. “I was just trying to help.”

“Why did you help?” Blaine asks, resisting the urge to use air quotes.

She crosses her arms and rolls her eyes. “It was getting embarrassing.”

Blaine raises his eyebrows. That stings. That comment from his 10 year old daughter stings.

“Daddy?” Declan’s voice is hesitant.

Blaine sighs and looks over at Declan.

“Can I have my toy?” he asks, whispering and signing. Blaine realizes that he and Addie haven’t been signing their conversation and Declan only sort of knows what’s going on. So now on top of being shocked by Addie’s behavior, Blaine also feels guilty for not signing in front of Declan. It’s just rude not to.

“Of course, Dec. Of course. I’m sorry.” Blaine says and signs

“Um, Daddy, can I have mine too?” Addie asks, wincing a little.

“Yes.”

He hands the kids their toys and considers sending Kurt a text. But what would he even say?

“Our daughter hurt my feelings.”

“She stabbed me in the heart with her words.”

“I haven’t felt this bad about my speech in years.”

He knows he needs to get over that part. The part of himself that feels hurt. He needs to remember that kids are like this. Kids who love their parents and are nice, good kids, get impatient sometimes. They don’t understand sometimes the way their words can affect people.

Nothing like this has ever happened before though, not even close. And he has no idea what to do about it. He needs to talk to Kurt.

Blaine stews for the short ride home. When they pull into the driveway, they sit in the car for a few minutes. The rain has stopped and there’s blue sky beginning to appear in spots.

“Am I in trouble?” Addie asks.

Blaine sighs. “I don’t know. I-I-I-I have to think about it,” he tells her honestly.

They go in and the kids eat quietly at the table, Addie eyeing Blaine every once in a while as she chews thoughtfully on her french fries.

Blaine decides to make beef stew. He needs something to keep his mind from spinning out of control and he was planning on doing it anyway since it’s a chilly day and he has the time.

Kurt comes in from work about an hour before the stew is ready.

“Hey Poop,” Kurt says, kissing him on the cheek as Blaine checks the pot. “How was your day?”

Blaine shrugs.

“Where are our children?” Kurt asks, looking around, noticing very little mess in the family room, belying the fact that something isn’t quite right.

The story pours out of Blaine.

Kurt’s jaw drops at all the right moments.

“What did you say to her?”

“Nothing. Well, yeah. Nothing really. She asked if she was in trouble and I ssss-said I have to think about it.”

Kurt nods, and covers his mouth with his hand in thought.

“Do you think she should be in trouble?” Blaine asks, needing Kurt’s objective opinion on this one.

“I think she needs to understand the situation a little bit better for sure. I think we need to get a read on why she thought that was an appropriate way to act. She needs to learn that she’s the daughter and you’re the father, no matter what the situation is.”

“Okay. I guess I should talk to her?” Blaine’s hesitant, but only because he’s not entirely sure what he should say.

“Can I volunteer for this one?”

“You r-r-really want to?” Blaine asks.

“Yeah, I think I need to hear for myself what she was thinking.”

~~~~~

Dinner is a quiet affair, no one saying much, Addie looking more and more guilty and scared as the meal goes on.

Afterwards Kurt finds her in her room. Blaine and Declan are watching tv in the family room and he asked Blaine to stay down there for a while.

When she sees Kurt in the doorway, she doesn’t even wait for him to talk.

“Does everyone hate me?” she asks. She’s sitting on her bed, flipping one of her stuffed animals over and over again.

“No one hates you.”

“So why is no one talking to me?”

“Well, Daddy wanted to talk to me before he talked to you, and I wanted to talk to you before you talked to him.”

She nods and stares at her teddy bear. She hugs it close and looks at Kurt sadly. Kurt takes a seat on the bed next to her.

“I messed up.” She stares at the bedspread, picking at a loose thread.

“Yes. But do you know why?”

She shrugs. “I’m not sure. I was trying to help.”

“Did you think about how impatient you might seem, by trying to help the way you did?”

“I don’t know. I just ... wanted to do something.”

“There are better ways of handling it though, Addie girl.”

She looks at Kurt now. “How though?”

Kurt wiggles up to the top of the bed and leans against the headboard. He pulls Addie up to sit next to him.

“You know, when we were young, when we first met, Daddy was very, very shy. He hated to talk. He avoided it at all costs. And then when we started dating, he worked really hard to not be so shy and to improve his speech.”

Addie nods but doesn’t say anything.

“And sometimes I would want to help him so much. Just to jump in and smooth things over. But he explained to me that what I think is helping, isn’t really. It would just make him feel bad. It would make him feel like he was taking too long, and that he couldn’t do it. When he could do anything he put his mind to. Sometimes it just takes him longer.”

She sighs. “But you love it when I help Declan!”

“I know, I do. But Declan’s a kid! He’s little and he’s learning and he needs a big sister.”

“And Daddy’s big and already knows stuff and doesn’t need a big sister,” she summarizes, a bit sadly.

“Exactly.”

“I didn’t know that he didn’t want help,” she says, her chin quivering.

“Have you ever seen me help him?”

She makes the same face she’s made since birth. Addie’s thinking face, plus her finger tapping on her chin, is a dead giveaway that she really is thinking. That she’s really taking in everything Kurt has said and will hopefully remember it in the long run.

“You order for him,” she says finally.

Kurt has to smile. “I do, but that’s more like romance and less like helping.”

Now she makes her confused face, which is the spitting image of DiDi.

“I think you should take a shower and get ready for bed and then go talk to Daddy, okay?” Kurt prompts.

Addie nods and slides off her bed, padding towards the bathroom deep in thought.

~~~~~

Later that evening, Blaine sits on his and Kurt’s bed, sort of pretending to read a book, but mostly lost in thought when there’s a quiet tap on the bedroom door.

“Come in,” he says.

It’s Addie, looking thoroughly chastised and very emotional, even though it’s been almost an hour since her conversation with Kurt ended. Kurt told him he thought it went well and that he thinks Addie understands better now why what she did was unacceptable.

“Dad talked to me and now I feel sad and I’m so sorry!” she wails, pretty much taking everything to the next level of drama. Kurt didn’t mean to make her sad he said. Though as Blaine pointed out, Addie has about 4 emotions these days, sad, happy, annoyed, and honeybadger.

Blaine sits up straight and puts his book down. He pats the bed next to him.

“What did Dad say?” Addie sits next to him on the bed and he hands her a tissue. Then he puts his arm around her shoulders. She tenses up a bit, seemingly confused that he’s being nice to her and then all of her words come out in a muddled rush.

“That you used to be really shy and you never talked to people and it was because of your stutter. And that you hate when people talk for you no matter how much trouble you’re having.”

“That’s true,” Blaine says.

Addie sniffles and tries to get herself under control a little more. “And I swear I didn’t mean you embarrassed me just that I felt embarrassed for you and I just wanted to help!” Her voice rises in pitch.

“It’s not really your job to help me, Addie girl.”

“But I help Declan with stuff all the time! You guys always say I’m so helpful and I just wanted to help you.” She swipes at her face with a tissue.

“That’s very true.” He can see what happened from her perspective, he really can. Blaine rubs her arm. “It’s okay.”

“It is?” she asks.

“It is. I think I-I-I understand what you were doing. And that you really thought you were helping. And I’ll tell you what I told Dad when we w-w-were young.”

She nods and hiccups. Blaine smiles at her, wanting to show her that it’s okay.

“That if I need help I’ll ask for it.”

“You’ll let me help you?” she asks, calming down and really looking at him.

“If I need it, sure. Buh-buh-ut what you did today was pretty rude. And you were acting very impatient.”

“I was scared. You were hitting the steering wheel and your face was all ... “ She pauses briefly to make a pained face. “I see you stutter all the time but never like that.”

“It was a b-b-bad one,” Blaine admits. “But it doesn’t happen too often right?”

“Right.”

“You know I love you no matter what, right?”

She nods. “I love you, too, Daddy.”

He gives her a hug and presses a kiss to her temple.

“It’s going to be just fine,” he whispers.


	25. Chapter 25

_September 2035  
Blaine and Kurt are 41, Addie is 10, Declan is 8._

A few days before school starts, Rachel calls Kurt with frantic news. He already knew that she’d been cast in the revival of Matilda, but now she’s excited about something else. She can hardly get the words out she’s so excited.

“We’re going to be having a matinee at the end of the month that will be attended by the New York School for the Deaf and there will be assisted listening devices, captioning, and even ASL interpreters on hand,” she explains. “And I already got you guys tickets!”

Kurt’s trying to process all the information Rachel just gave him, and before he can say a word, she continues.

“I know it’s a school day Kurt, but I think Declan, and even Addie, would gain a lot from this experience.”

Addie has been to shows in the past, once before they had Declan they took her to see Mary Poppins, and then a couple years ago for her birthday DiDi took her to see whatever the latest and greatest up and coming Disney musical of the moment was. But Declan has never been. They looked into a few shows that offered assistive devices, but none of them were shows that Declan would have been interested in. And now that this opportunity is being presented to them, they decide they would be fools not to take it.

Since it’s a matinee, they let the kids (and Blaine) take the day off from school. To make it extra special, they go to the diner for breakfast. Kurt and Declan sit across from Blaine and Addie at a booth and they all scour the menus. Eating out is actually fun again, now that the kids can read and decide for themselves, not to mention cut their own food.

The kids have decided on Belgian waffles with strawberries, and are fully prepared to order. Kurt is going with the traditional scrambled eggs, toast and home fries, but Blaine is being indecisive.

“If you don’t make up your mind, I’m going to surprise you,” Kurt says.

“No! I want an omelet.” Then Blaine pauses, reading over the omelet offerings again. Kurt watches Blaine’s look of intense concentration as his eyes flick over the rest of the menu. “Or maybe buh-buh-lueberry pancakes.”

“No seriously, I’m taking this choice out of your hands.”

“No!”

“Yes!” Kurt exclaims. “If I didn’t always order for you, we’d still be sitting in that steak house in Columbus, Ohio in 2021. And that was because you couldn’t decide if you wanted grilled onions or grilled mushrooms on top of your steak.”

“It’s a difficult decision! I hate being d-d-d-disappointed with my order.”

“You would never get around to ordering if I didn’t do it for you,” Kurt says, his expression full of righteous indignation.

“You two need to stop bickering,” Addie interjects from behind her own menu. Blaine’s indecisiveness about ordering food is the stuff of legend among the kids. Addie agrees with Kurt that it takes Blaine far longer than necessary to ever make these decisions.

“Well, ex-cah-use us, Miss Adelaide!” Blaine says, dragging out the word excuse until Addie can’t help but giggle.

She’s grown a lot in the past year. She’s less agitated than she was, and Blaine has made good on his promise to ask her for help. Usually it’s just little things, but it seems to have given her a sense of maturity. At least in certain situations. In other situations she’s still a 10 going on 11 year old.

Not to mention that she talks like a tiny adult. She talks like her fathers. To the point where Kurt has cut back on complaining in Addie’s presence because he’s afraid that she’ll start referring to classmates the same way he talks about the people he works with.

Blaine often wondered when she was in the midst of her acting out phase, if it had anything to do with the fact that she was really starting to understand that Kurt is her biological father and Blaine is just “some dude.”

When Blaine voiced those concerns, Kurt lost no time telling Blaine that he was not just “some dude.” Blaine had insisted at the time that it was a possibility, but Kurt talked him down from that ledge. The check out guy at the grocery store was some dude, Blaine is her dad. And not even just her dad, but her daddy. She reserves that title solely for Blaine, hasn’t called Kurt anything but Dad or DumDum in years. But Blaine is obviously special.

The boys are well aware that they won’t be getting out of teen angst, but they also know that the phase of pre-teen angst they went through during the past year or so will have at least prepared them a little bit. They hope.

“What do you re-re-recommend I eat, Addie?” Blaine asks. He figures this is as good a time as any to ask for her advice. 

“Hmm. Well. Sometimes peppers give you heartburn,” she starts. “Given our plans for the day it seems like you wouldn’t want to eat something that might make you uncomfortable.”   
Blaine nods seriously.

“I think you two spend too much time together,” Kurt interrupts, smirking.

“And you often regret it when you get pancakes out, because you say you can make better pancakes at home,” Addie continues as though Kurt didn’t say anything.

“You should get the Flo, Flo-ren-tine eggs ben, ben-e-dit,” Declan says, carefully sounding out the words.

“Wow!” Kurt praises. “You did really well sounding that out. There’s a ‘c’ in Benedict though okay, Dec?”

Declan nods and continues perusing the menu on Blaine’s behalf.

Declan’s reading has been improving a lot in the past few months. They worked with him all summer to make sure he didn’t lose ground, but Blaine and Kurt feel like they can completely thank his third grade teacher. They finally decided to mainstream him this year because the third grade teachers at Declan’s school all came highly recommended by other parents. They felt confident in the fact that he wouldn’t slip through the cracks. And while the school year is only a few weeks in, they can tell that he isn’. Though he still gets very nervous about reading aloud, even just with the family, but as Blaine has pointed out to Kurt a number of times, Blaine is never comfortable reading in front of people either.

Blaine seems to have barely notices Declan’s triumph. “Maybe I should go with the Florentine eggs benedict,” he mumbles.

Kurt kicks Blaine and nods his head towards Declan.

“And awesome r-r-r-reading, Declan,” Blaine says.

Declan smiles.

“Okay,” Addie announces. “I think I have found the perfect meal for Daddy and I would like to order on his behalf.”

Blaine nods. Sometimes he feels like the kid whisperer. Like if you give a kid a purpose, a job, they’ll be more responsible and feel more important and behave better than you could ever imagine. He’s pretty sure that’s what’s happened with Addie.

They all close their menus and the waiter comes to take their order.

“Oh, the Florentine omelet!” Blaine says after Addie orders. “I’m impressed.”

She smiles and then shivers, moving closer to Blaine for warmth.

“Cold?” Blaine asks.

Addie’s teeth chatter in response.

“Why is it so cold in here?” she asks in a silly voice.

“I don’t know. Why didn’t you grab the sweatshirt I put on your bed?” Kurt asks.

“Because it wasn’t cold at home and it’s not really cold out,” she continues in her silly, shivering voice. “And it didn’t go with my ensemble.” Addie gestures towards her skirt and top that was purchased just for this occasion.

“What if it’s cold in the theater?” Blaine asks, making his voice shake the same way.

“I hadn’t thought of that.” Now Addie is giggling more than shivering. 

When the waiter comes back with their meals, Kurt says, “Can this young lady have some hot chocolate?”

The waiter smiles and nods at the same time that Declan yells “And this young man too!”

“And this young man, too,” Kurt says.

The dads and their kids eat their breakfast and soon it’s time to leave for the city.

They take the train in. It’s not something they do very often, but they try to take the kids into the city at least once every couple of months, even if it’s just for a Sunday afternoon in the Central Park Zoo.

They never regret moving out the city. Life in the suburbs is easier with a child like Declan, even now that Declan has a cochlear implant, they know they would have never quite felt safe. Too many horns go unheard, or footsteps behind him. No one likes to think like that, but there’s a certain reality that they feel like they had to face as parents, and safety for their kids always needs to win out.

But they do like to expose their children to everything New York has to offer. And they think they’re doing a pretty good job for suburban dads.

When they get inside the theater, Declan is awed by the high ceilings. He stares up at it as Blaine drags him by the hand down the aisle. Rachel got them really fantastic seats.

After they settle in, they have at least 20 minutes to wait until curtain. They go over the usual bathroom question a hundred times, making sure the kids are prepared to sit as long as they need to.

“No one wants to get up mid-act,” Blaine explains. He signs it to Declan, because the acoustics in this theater are a great example of when Declan sometimes misses certain speech sounds.

Declan pays attention, but when his dads stop talking, he really starts to take in the people and the noise around him. He’s used to being around other deaf children, but this is a huge room, and just about everyone here is deaf. And it is fascinating.

Blaine and Kurt watch Declan watch the people around him. And then when the curtain goes up, they continue watching him. Declan is into it from the very first word. He leans forward in his seat, trying not to miss a moment. They see him check the ASL interpreters every once in a while, or the scrolling caption screens, but mostly it seems like the assistive listening device is picking up everything he needs. He laughs at all the right moments and bounces in his seat along to the beat of all the songs.

Addie, on the other hand, tries to play it cool at first, but soon enough her jaw is dropped and her eyes are wide and her laughter flows easily.

Afterwards they get to go see Rachel in her dressing room and meet a bunch of the other cast members.

As they leave the theater, the shadows are getting long.

“That was good right?” Declan asks as they walk down the street. He’s holding Kurt’s hand as he was instructed to do, but he’s bouncing on his toes as they walk, full of excited energy.

“That was really good,” Kurt agrees.

“Can we do that again someday?” Declan asks.

“Of course!” Blaine exclaims. He and Addie are following along behind. “We didn’t know if you wah-would like it that much.” Kurt’s signing on Blaine’s behalf since Declan can’t see him. 

“Like it?” Declan asks. “I loved it!”

Declan takes a couple of hop skips as they cross the street, and then gets very serious as they enter the subway. His seriousness turns to sleepiness as they wait for the train.

The kids are sleepy and starving on the train ride home and the dads regret not getting dinner in the city, but they figure the kids will make it home and they’ll pick something up on the way.

Declan practically falls asleep leaning on Kurt. Addie wants to listen to the album over and over again and Blaine lets her, watching the scenery fly past the train windows.

“Come on, buddy,” Kurt says, pulling Declan up when they get to their stop. They definitely don’t regret having left the car in the parking lot all day. They don’t know if they could have gotten the kids home without it. The train station isn’t far, but it’s far enough when you have an 8 and almost 11 year old to drag home.

While Blaine is getting Declan ready for bed that night, making sure teeth are brushed, showers are taken, and faces are cleaned, he thinks again about how big the kids are. There are just certain moments that it’s like he can see them growing before him. And this is definitely one of those days.

Declan hops up into his bed and puts his arms out for a good night hug.

“Thanks Daddy,” he whispers.

Blaine gives him a kiss on the cheek as he hugs him close.

“You’re welcome, Dec,” Blaine says.


	26. Chapter 26

January 1, 2036

So, this is my diary.

When Julia gave it to me for Christmas, she said it was because I told her that I wanted to be a writer, and the first step to being a writer is to write.

That makes sense to me. Like even though I’m only 11 and in fifth grade, if I want to be a writer, I can be a writer right now. I don’t have to wait until I’m grown up. It’s not like being a doctor. And like, I still have a lot of stuff to learn about writing, but the only way to get better at it is to do it.

So I think Julia’s kind of brilliant. I really like the word brilliant too.

Also, I was thinking that this diary might be like the one in Harry Potter, but I’m not sure how to find out if it’s possessed by the spirit of a villain. I’m going to have to Google that I think.

I guess that’s it for right now. But I’m going to really, really, really try to write in this every day. Even if it’s just a couple of sentences. You know, I’ll be like Anne Frank, minus the Nazis and the attic and all that.

January 22, 2036

So today is Declan’s birthday. He’s nine. I feel like I should write something about him, in honor of that fact.

Declan’s my brother. I don’t care what anyone says about him being adopted. He’s not adopted in my book, and guess what, *this* is my book so what I say goes.

He’s probably the best little brother a girl could ask for. He does everything I tell him to do, and I mean that in the nicest way possible.

Here is a list of my favorite things about Declan Gregory Anderson-Hummel (the Gregory’s for Pop. When I asked the dads why they didn’t add a Burt in there for Bumpy they said that Declan had enough names as it was and Gregory sounded nice with Declan. I think one more name would have been fine. I mean he got to keep the first name that his mom gave him and then we added the rest. We might as well have added a Burt in there too, right?)

1\. He has red hair and it’s awesome and I wish I had red hair.  
2\. I know sign language because of him.  
3\. He has a really good imagination.  
4\. He’s really funny.  
5\. He never acts like a know-it-all. Sometimes I act like a know-it-all and I don’t think the dads could handle two of me.

I bet I could come up with a longer list, but I should probably go to sleep now.

February 12, 2036

OMG the most mortifying thing on the planet is happening and I don’t know what to do about it.

So, it’s that time in fifth grade when they split the girls and boys up and they “teach us about our bodies.” So of course the dads want to talk to me about this. They always want to talk about these things and I just want to crawl under the couch and hide. Here is the basic conversation I just had with them:

Poop: So Addie, you’re going to be learning about. Um. (then he has a coughing fit and his face is all red.)  
DumDum: About your period. (He has crazy eyes and I’m honestly afraid.)  
Me: Yes, I know. I pretty much know about it already because they talked about it last year a little bit and then I read a book about it.  
Poop: Wow! (he’s nodding and smiling really weird and now I’m afraid of both my dads.)  
DumDum: Do you want to talk to us about anything?  
Me: No.  
Poop: If you ever do, you know you can.  
Me: (in my head) Why would I ever want to talk to you crazy eyed weirdos?  
DumDum: Or you could talk to Julia. Or DiDi. Or one of your aunts. Or Jeannette next door. Any of them would be happy to talk to you about this, um, woman … stuff.  
Me: Okay. (that doesn’t sound all that bad actually. I had some technical questions.)  
Poop: And, um, we know it’s weird, what with having two dads, but we read everything we could and we’re trying to understand too, but it’s fine if you would feel more comfortable talking to a woman and you won’t hurt our feelings. There’s just some … stuff that we don’t know about.  
Kurt: Or that we know about, but that since we don’t personal experience with it, we might not really be … as helpful.  
Me: (nodding, happy they won’t feel bad when I really do call Julia with questions.) Okay. Cool.

Then both of them stand there looking at me for like a minute.

It was weird. And I’m glad it’s over.

March 4, 2036

I was telling Julia that I write in my diary everyday, even if it’s just to say that nothing happened. And she said that something always happens. And I was like “Um. Yeah, except for when NOTHING HAPPENS!”

And then Julia said something brilliant.

“You live and you breathe and you walk and you talk every day. Something notable or interesting or funny happens to you or around you. Look for something to write about.”

She’s very smart.

April 1, 2036

So I totally thought the dads were playing an April Fool’s Day joke on me when they told me at breakfast that if I wanted to I could go to San Diego to see DiDi for spring break.

I asked them what the catch is, and they said there wasn’t one. That Julia and Jessa are going for a girl’s week to DiDi’s for spring break and that I could go with them if I wanted to.

I asked if this was still about the period stuff.

They seemed confused. I actually think Poop thought I was talking about punctuation for a minute.

And then it dawned on them what I was saying and they were all like “Yes! You should talk to them about your period! About becoming a woman! About blooming into a flower! Yada. Yada. Yada.”

And then I asked them what they’ll do while I’m away and I made them promise they wouldn’t go to any zoos and/or aquariums and/or museums without me.

They said maybe they’d take Declan to a baseball game. I was fine with that.

April 15, 2036

I leave tomorrow for San Diego. The dads are going to pick Julia and Jessa up early in the morning and take us to the airport. I’m excited and kind of nervous.

It’s weird to think about, how DiDi’s my mom but I never really spend anytime with her. I’ve definitely never spent a week with her. I wonder if it’s going to be weird. I like her husband Ben. Sometimes I think about what if Ben was my dad.

But then I realize that’s dumb because I really, really love my dads. Like no joke, they are some of my favorite humans on the planet, even when they’re being crazy eyed weirdos.

And really, I think I like having a mom that’s not really like a mom. When I was little she explained it like she wanted to be my aunt, like Katinka and Kristin are my aunts. And I liked that idea. I still like that idea. It makes sense. And that’s really what DiDi is, she’s like a cool aunt. Actually that’s what Julia’s like too.

DiDi’s cooler than any of them though.

Wait. What if she’s not that cool? What if I’m totally wrong and this is going to be the worst week ever because DiDi isn’t really that cool?

Well, at least I’ll have Julia and Jessa.

April 22, 2036

I was wrong. DiDi is amazing. She’s my third favorite human being on the planet, after the dads (who are tied in first place).

SHE LET ME GET MY EARS PIERCED.

I mean, she called the dads first and they gave their permission. I never even really wanted my ears pierced before, but then DiDi showed me all of her cool earrings and suddenly I wanted to have cool earrings.

Wow. She’s the coolest.

May 25, 2036

It’s Memorial Day weekend and we went to Matt and Julia’s for a barbecue.

I wish Jessa was older so that she could really be my friend. It’s kind of boring going there now because all the kids are so little and one of the twins bit me when I was pushing him on the swings. (I’m not sure which twin it was. They’re hard to tell apart. I would like to recommend to Julia that she starts dressing them to match their names. Put Evan in emerald green and Nathan in navy blue. Wouldn’t that make things so much easier? You’re so smart, Addie. Thank you, Addie. You’re welcome, Addie!)

Oh well. At least the food was good.

July 1, 2036

It’s soooooooo hooooooottttttttttt.

And Declan broke his wrist riding his bike and I want to go to the pool but now we can’t all go because that wouldn’t be nice to Declan since he can’t really go into the water and all of my friends are on vacation and I just want to go to the poooooooooool.

July 2, 2036

Yesterday afternoon, Poop went out to the store and bought a little blow up pool for the backyard and wrapped Declan’s arm up in plastic wrap with a plastic bag around it and told him to be careful. Piccolo went in the pool too, but Daddy was worried that he might claw a hole in the bottom, but he didn’t because Pic’s smarter than that. Then Dad made us slushies in the blender and we hung out in the pool and it was actually like the best thing ever.

I’m actually writing this from the pool side. The side of the pool? This doesn’t sound right, but I feel like I’ve heard other people use the phrase “pool side.”

I should ask Poop why we can’t just wrap Declan’s arm up and go to the town pool like that.

I’ll be right back.

Hmm. He said it’s because Declan would be too tempted to jump in the water and play and swim and water could seep into the plastic. And that it’s only two more weeks and isn’t it better safe than sorry?

I’m still suspicious but I’ll let it go.

And it doesn’t really matter because Dad has next week off from work and we’re going to Ohio to see the grandparents and the aunts and uncles and cousins. So that’s cool.

August 13, 2036

Today I watched and looked and listened and couldn’t find anything notable to write about. I complained about this to DumDum and I think he took is as a personal challenge to make my day more interesting. 

Because he made us all go sit on the front porch and watch the sunset. And then we went to the frozen yogurt place, the kind where you build your own, and I got coconut with almonds and chocolate so that it was like an Almond Joy bar. 

I think I’m supposed to write more than that, because it really was nice of DumDum, but now I’m very tired after the walk and I think I’ll just go to sleep.

Do you think my writing has gotten better? I wish you could tell me.

September 2, 2036

EEEEEEE.

I start middle school tomorrow!!!!!

OMGGGGGG.

I’m so excited.

And I missed all my friends so much and the dads took me back to school shopping and I got the cutest outfit and I can’t wait.

Hmm. Maybe my writing hasn’t improved. I write so many run on sentences.

September 3, 2036

I guess sixth grade is okay. I don’t know. It could be better. I don’t really know what I didn’t like about it. It just feels like a whole lot of build up for something not so special.

And I kept forgetting my locker combination. I mean, how hard is it to remember 6, 26, 36. That’s not that hard. I remember it right now. But when I’m standing there at my locker, trying to open it, it’s like the numbers just run away.

October 10, 2036

The dads let me have a sleepover for my birthday last night and it was like the best night ever. I had five friends over and we slept in the basement and stayed up almost all night and watched scary movies.

Today I’m really tired and I just want to sleep for the rest of my life. So I think that’s what I’m going to do. Until Poop and DumDum wake me up and force me to do something annoying like rake the lawn or go down and get water from the well or feed the livestock. (They’re always making up some kind of weird chores for me to do.)

November 1, 2036

November is National Novel Writing Month and I signed up for a writing class for the month where every week we have to write a certain number of words and then at the end we get AN ACTUAL BOOK that we’ve written.

I’m going to write a story about an old lady that lives in an old house and then a little girl comes to live with her. Maybe there’s a ghost involved. Or a dog. I don’t know.

December 16, 2036

I got my period today.

I have to admit that I felt fully prepared for this thanks to the crazy eyed weirdos and various women that they asked to help me.

And I’m just really glad I wasn’t at school when it happened.

OMG. What do I do about my period at school??? I have to like, bring stuff with me? OMG.

This is terrifying.

I hate being a woman.

December 17, 2036

I told the dads today that I wished I was a gay man and they just looked at me like *I* was the crazy eyed weirdo. Then I told them about how much I hate having my period and being a “woman” (I used air quotes) and they had the nerve to laugh.

Shaking my head.

Terrible parenting.

Obviously I want to be a gay man because if I was a straight man then I would like women. But I’m currently very much in love with a boy named Nelson who’s in my math class and if I was a straight man I wouldn’t like him.

But I can’t tell them about Nelson because I can just tell they’re going to be embarrassing.

It’s all very complicated and I’m only 12.

December 24, 2036

I like Christmas. :)

I always feel happy this time of year. Sometimes I wish that the whole family would come over like they did the year that we adopted Declan. But we don’t really do that anymore. Every other year we go to Ohio for Christmas, but this isn’t one of those years. We’ll probably just stay home and do nothing. And then go to Matt and Julia’s or something.

I guess that’s okay.

December 27, 2036

JULIA GAVE ME A NEW DIARY FOR NEXT YEAR.

YAYYYYYYY.

December 31, 2036

It’s the end of the year and actually the end of this book. This is the second to last page. I don’t know how I managed to time that just right. I guess because I wrote in it every day, even if it was just a boring sentence or two. Though lately I’ve been writing way more than a sentence or two.

Luckily the book that Julia got me for next year is longer than this one. I think I’m only going to have more and more to say the older I get.

I think I’ve gotten better at writing. I don’t start sentences with “so” all the time anymore. I mean, I’m not a great writer, I know that, but I do think I improved. And I still think Julia was brilliant for telling me that the only way to be a writer is to write.

I told her that I think she’s brilliant and she smiled and gave me a hug.

I feel like I should write something else, because there’s still half a page left.

Like I should finish every last little bit of this whole book.

Even right into the very corner of this page.

I guess this is the end.

This is it.

Now it’s over.

No really, NOW it’s over.


	27. Chapter 27

_April 2037_

_Kurt is 44, Blaine is 43, Addie is 12 and Declan is 10._

7:08 pm

_Hey!_

**Hi!**

_I-I-I didn’t think we’d get to, to, to talk tonight._

**Yeah, I have a few minutes before I have to go to that dinner thing.**

_These have bah-bah-been the longest two dah-days ever and, and, and I can’t believe I’m still not going to get to ssss-see you until Friday._

**Aw, don’t pout, poop. I think it’ll be worth it in the end. I think I’m really lined up for this promotion.**

_That’s awesome._

**It is. It’s a great position and it’s actually full time with real full time pay.**

_Yeah, that’ll be good._

**And I know I originally took this position because it had fewer responsibilities and it was low pressure and flexible hours that gave me time with the kids, but now I feel like the kids don’t really need me as much anymore.**

_Of course they dah-do._

**Well, they don’t need me directly after school anymore. The bus drops them off. They can be in the house alone for an hour or two. Half the time Addie has some activity or another after school anyway. They can fend for themselves.**

_In the wilds of suh-suh-suh-suburbia._

**Exactly.**

_What about mmm-me?_

**You have to fend for yourself, too.**

_No dumdum. I meant I-I-I-I can fend for them._

**Yes. Yes you can.**

_You sound dis, dis, d-distracted._

**I am. I was just looking down on the hotel lobby and this, this … floozy …**

_Whoa, strong language, Kurt._

**Ugh. Fine, she’s not a floozy. But she’s a complete charlatan. Anyway, she’s maybe 24 years old, maybe not even, and totally wants this position too. And it’s just like “No!” This is my position! I’ve been working hard for it for like 2 years. I’ve paid my dues.**

_You’ll get it. I, I, I, I’m sure you will._

**It’s just that she’s fresh out of grad school with marketing degree...**

_Oh, hush._

**That’s awfully close to telling someone to shut up.**

_Go fly a kite._

**[Kurt giggles and then sighs.]**

_I think you nah-nah-needed that giggle. It’s going to, to, to be okay. Calm dah-down._

**I know.**

_And even if she does get it..._

**Don’t talk like that!**

_But, but, but, buh-buh-ut, listen, if she does, you’re still fine. Everything is fine._

**No.**

_Yes! Look at everything else you have in your life!_

**I mean, yes, of course. But also NO! I want this job!**

_Well go get it! Don’t let that, that, that floozy keep you from it!_

**Damn straight!**

_Good talk! I wish I-I-I-I was there to slap you on your ass and ssss-send you on your way!_

**You’re here in spirit!**

_I love you!_

**No, I love you!**

_Goodbye!_

**Goodbye!**

… Three minutes later …

_Kurt?_

**Yes. Hi. Hello. I forgot to ask how the kids are.**

_[Blaine laughs for 30 seconds straight.]_

**No, really. Your pep talk got so intense I forgot and then just hung up. But I really do want to know how the kids are.**

_They’re fine. And if they wah-wah-weren’t fine I promise I, I, I, I would call._

**May I speak to one and/or both of them?**

_Declan’s here doing his mmm-math homework. I’ll pass you over._

Hi Dad.

**Hey Dec. How is everything going? [Kurt speaks slowly and clearly. If they were going to talk for more than a minute or two, Kurt would switch to video chat, but Declan can usually talk on the phone pretty well for short periods of time.]**

Fine. I have a math test tomorrow.

**You’ll ace it! You’re great at math.**

Yeah, it’s the other stuff I have trouble with.

**Aw, come Dec, you know that’s not what I meant.**

I know, I know. I got a language arts test back though and I didn’t do so good.

**That’s okay. We’ll work on it. Did you show it to Dad?**

Yes.

**What did he say?**

That I tried my best and I can’t help it and it’s not like I’m a slacker who doesn’t care.

**He’s right.**

I know.

**So don’t sound so sad. Go eat some ice cream.**

Okay!

**Where’s your sister?**

She’s at Lydia’s working on a history diorama.

**Sounds awful. Now go eat ice cream.**

Alright, here’s Dad.

_Hey._

**Lydia!? I thought we got rid of Lydia.**

_[Blaine drops his voice low so Declan can’t hear his father maligning his sister’s best friend.] We’ll never get r-r-rid of Lydia._

**We’re sentenced to a life of Lydia.**

_I’ll talk to you tomorrow?_

**For sure. Bye poop.**

_Love ya._

**Love ya too.**

~~~~~

 

April 17

9:07 am

Kurt: It’s just past 9 am and this day has been horrible.

 

10:02 am

Blaine: Aw, I’m sorry dumdum. :(

 

10:04 am

Kurt: It has only gotten worse in the past hour.

 

10:05 am

Blaine: Do you want me to call you during my lunch?

 

10:06 am

Kurt: No it’s okay, I’ll be in *another* endless meeting by then.

 

10:06 am

Blaine: Okay. Just remember everything will be okay because I love you. :)

 

10:07 am

Kurt: You’re a cheese face, but that’s okay because I love you too.

Kurt: And now I want cheese.

Kurt: Is there such a thing as too early for cheese?

 

11:52 am

Blaine: it’s never too early for cheese.

 

2:02 pm

Kurt: I’m boarding my plane in a second, but I wanted you to know I didn’t get the job.

Kurt: It went to the floozy.

Kurt: We’ll talk about it later.

Kurt: Or maybe we’ll pretend it never happened and nothing matters and I’ll quit life and go off the grid.

Kurt: I like that idea.

Kurt: I’ll see you around 6:30 hopefully. As long as traffic isn’t completely batshit.

 

3:52 pm

Blaine: This is for when you get off the plane.

Blaine: Just remember that I love you a lot no matter what.

Blaine: And that all you have to do is say the word and we’ll have that floozy charlatan taken care of.

Blaine: I know a guy who knows a guy.

 

~~~~~

 

It’s finally Friday night and Kurt has had a very long day and an even longer week. The car service from the airport drops him off in the driveway at 6:38 pm and all he really wants is a hot bath and a glass of wine. And whatever Blaine made for dinner, followed by 24 hours of sleep in his own bed.

When he walks into the house, it’s suspiciously quiet and sadly devoid of delicious food smells. Kurt sags at the idea that maybe Blaine and the kids were waiting for him to get home to decide on dinner. Or that they want to go out to eat. Oh please, he thinks, please don’t let them want to go out for dinner. I just don’t think I can handle one more step in the outside world today.

As he dumps his bags on the bench by the door and toes off his shoes he resolves to tell them as much. He’ll just beg off. They can go out, maybe bring him something back. A hamburger from McDonald’s for all he cares.

He moves into the family room and finds Blaine sprawled out on the couch in comfy clothes and a dopey smile on his face, watching some movie Kurt vaguely recognizes from childhood. His facial hair is just a little past five o’clock shadow and Kurt can see the grays glint in the dying light streaming through the window.

Blaine glances over to him and waves enthusiastically.

“Hiya,” Kurt says, throwing himself on the couch next to Blaine, who turns to him and grins devilishly.

“Where are the kids?” Kurt asks.

He shrugs, smiling still.

“You’ve killed them?” Kurt asks solemnly. Then makes a thoughtful face. “I’m not surprised that it came to that with Addie. But I am a little shocked in terms of Declan.”

Blaine giggles.

“And now you’re giggling. Was that a maniacal giggle? Should I personally be frightened?”

  
Blaine shakes his head slowly, his eyes so full of mischief that Kurt is quickly taken in by it. And when Blaine barely brushes lips with Kurt, all thoughts of the kids fly out of his head.

Kurt hums happily.

Blaine moves to kiss up his throat and Kurt breathes out slowly, feeling all of his muscles relax.

Blaine pulls back, his face serious.

“I-I-I won’t say anything else about it, if, if, if you dah-don’t want to talk about it, but I r-r-really am very sorry about the job.”

“Thanks, Blaine. I …” Kurt pauses, looking down at his hands. “I think I want to take my mind off it.”

Blaine nods. “I think I-I-I can do that.”

He stands up and holds his hand out for Kurt.

Kurt takes it, but stops him from pulling him up. “The kids aren’t here, right?”

Blaine shakes his head and grins.

“Then maybe we could stay here and make out on the couch like teenagers a little longer?”

Blaine’s face cracks into a wide smile as he falls back onto the couch next to Kurt and envelops him.

It’s only Kurt’s gurgling stomach fifteen minutes later that interrupts their heated necking.

“I take it you’re a, a, a little hungry?” Blaine asks.

“Famished,” Kurt admits.

“Why didn’t you s-s-s-say anything?”

“I really was enjoying making out like teenagers.”

“Well, we can get b-b-back to that,” Blaine says, standing up and moving into the kitchen. “I ordered chicken bah-bah-roccoli alfredo.”

“That sounds delicious. From Enzo’s?”

“You know it,” Blaine says over his shoulder as he pops it in the microwave.

Kurt comes in to the kitchen and leans on the counter. Blaine puts his hands on Kurt’s waist and brings him closer.

“Don’t be sad,” he whispers.

Kurt visibly deflates.

“Can I be sad for a little while?” Kurt asks.

“Sure,” Blaine says, leaning in and kissing Kurt gently. “Of course.”

“I promise not to cry after we have sex or anything.”

 

Blaine smiles into the next kiss.

They make quick work of dinner, standing side by side, leaning against the kitchen counter. Blaine bumping Kurt’s hip with his own in a way that Kurt thinks is still one of the cutest things on earth. Somehow one of their favorite take out dish tastes even better tonight, they both agree.

“I wish we had a hot tub,” Kurt says.

“Oh, I-I-I could totally picture a hot tub on the deck,” Blaine agrees, licking the last of the alfredo sauce out of his bowl.

“Oh, that’s attractive,” Kurt says.

Blaine wags his eyebrows. “I’m practicing.”

“What are you planning on licking?”

Blaine shrugs coolly. He takes his and Kurt’s bowls and places them in the dishwasher.

“Maybe it’s a night for more than just licking,” Kurt says.

Blaine looks at him curiously.

“That sounded way hotter in my head.”

Blaine barks a laugh. “I’ll b-b-bet.”

Kurt bumps his hip against Blaine’s and looks at him meaningfully.

“Bed,” Blaine whispers, as he grabs Kurt’s hand and starts leading him towards the stairs.

“Wait,” Kurt says, pulling on Blaine’s hand to stop. “There really aren’t any children here?”

Blaine shakes his head.

“Then why are we going to bed?” Kurt asks.

Blaine gives him a silent, questioning look.

“We could do anything, anywhere!” Kurt exclaims, gesturing like a game show host.

“Okay, like… ” Blaine prods.

“Let’s reenact the first time I gave you a blow job,” Kurt says.

Blaine is dubious.

“You on the couch, me on my knees,” Kurt says, pulling Blaine into the family.

“Our kids w-w-watch cartoons on this couch,” Blaine says. “I w-w-watch cartoons on this couch.”

“We’ll put down a sheet,” Kurt says with a shrug.

Blaine is quick to acquiesce. “Lucky for you there’s no b-b-b-berry scented hand lotion around.”

~~~~~

Later, much later, the boys lay in bed wrapped together, just barely on the edge of consciousness, when Kurt thinks of something that jars him awake. He blinks his eyes open and nudges Blaine with his elbow.

“Wha?” Blaine asks blearily.

“Where are the kids?” Kurt asks, suddenly desperate to know. As nice as the surprise evening was without them, he missed them this week.

“They’re with Matt and Julia,” Blaine mumbles sleepily. Kurt loves it when he’s this relaxed and his voice is gruff and deep. Even after all these years, Kurt still gets a weird sense of pride any time Blaine doesn’t stutter for a few sentences. Even when he’s half asleep.

Kurt smiles.

“We’ll pick’em up tomorrow,” Blaine continues.

“Can we go early? And go get breakfast at the diner?”

“Of course,” Blaine murmurs. He rolls closer to Kurt and they fall asleep.


	28. Chapter 28

January, 2038  
Kurt is 45, Blaine is 44, Addie is 13, and Declan is 11.

To: Blaine  
From: Mom  
Date: 1/4/38 @ 7:54 am  
Subject: Your father’s birthday.

Hey bud,

I’ve been trying my best to talk your father out of wanting to go ice fishing this winter. I’ve been telling him that maybe he needs to take it easy. But he’s insistent that he wants to go ice fishing for his 80th birthday. I figured I’d give you a heads up before you get a call from him later about it. This way maybe you can figure out a way to let him down gently.

Love- Mom

~~~~~

To: Michelle  
From: Blaine  
Date: 1/4/38 @ 9:02 am  
Subject: re: Your father’s birthday.

Why would I want to let him down gently?

~~~~~

To: Blaine  
From: Mom  
Date: 1/4/38 @ 10:19 am  
Subject: re: Your father’s birthday.

Because he’s old! And I’m worried about him! And I don’t want him sitting out on the ice for hours and hours.

At least try to talk him out of making it an overnight thing in the hut. It’s just too long to be out there in the cold. He’s healthy right now and I’d like very much for him to stay that way.

My sister just found out that her husband has cancer and it’s making me feel like anything could happen any day now. That the fact that your father and I have stayed healthy this long is just about unheard of. And I don’t want to play with fate.

~~~~~

To: Michelle  
From: Blaine  
Date: 1/4/38 @ 1:58 pm  
Subject: re: Your father’s birthday.

I’ll see what I can do, but I don’t make any promises. I mean, it’s his 80th birthday. He deserves to celebrate how he sees fit if he’s able to, right?

~~~~~

January 4, 2038 @ 8:08pm

Blaine!

Dad!

How the heck are you?

I’m good. How about you?

Well, I’m good, too. How are the kids?

Good, good. Addie mmmm-made honor r-roll.

Such a smartie pants, that one. How about Declan?

He’s dah-doing really wah-well. 

No news is good news?

Yeah, that’s what I-I-I think.

So, I’ve been thinking about my birthday.

Oh, yeah?

I was wondering if I could entice you guys into coming out here for the celebration. Maybe go ice fishing?

Sure! That s-s-s-sounds great.

Huh.

What?

That was easier than I expected.

What? I can’t want to come out to Ohio for a w-w-w-weekend to go ice fishing for my father’s 80th buh-buh, birthday?

You’re mother already talked to you, didn’t she.

Um.

She must have.

Um.

Don’t even try to lie, you’re terrible at lying.

That’s not really a b-b-b-bad thing per sssss-say...

Did she tell you we shouldn’t go?

Maybe.

Hmph.

We can go.

I know damn well we can go.

Good.

I’m going to call Cooper and make sure he wants to go.

Wait, Dad.

Yeah?

I do have an idea. Of how mmm-maybe to placate mom.

Oh really?

Well, maybe we r-r-rent a cabin near the lake, and everyone stays there. This w-w-way, we’re not out on the, the, the ice too long, we have the option of going inside, and Mom will be close by and will rrrrr-realize that you’re fine. Maybe she’ll even go out to the hut with you.

Huh. That’s genius!

Thanks.

Now I just have to convince your mother that she wants to go stay at a cabin for the weekend instead of outlet shopping with Kurt and Katinka.

Good luck with that.

I’ll call you back.

~~~~~

A moment of Michelle

I thought for sure Blaine would be on my side and the fact that he isn’t makes me wonder if maybe I shouldn’t have a side.

When Greg was so sick last year, I kept telling myself that anything could happen. That in some ways it was better that he had a burst appendix and not something more serious. But on the other hand, that means something more serious could be lurking around any corner.

But on the other other hand, maybe I need to stop worrying. And give in. And have fun with my family.

~~~~~

And that is how Blaine, Kurt, Addie, and Declan end up flying to Ohio one Friday night in late January. They’ll be spending Saturday and Sunday night sharing a cabin with Cooper and Katinka and their kids, and Blaine’s parents.

Blaine’s dad is thrilled with the whole plan. Blaine’s mom is less than thrilled, but she puts on a happy face because really, it’s her husband’s 80th birthday and not everyone is lucky enough to get to celebrate such a number.

They get in late Friday night, just after 10. They pick up their rental car and head to Blaine’s parent’s condo. They’ve been living in the complex for about 8 years. It’s really perfect for them. The only drawback is that when Blaine and his family come to visit, there’s just a little less room than they’re used to.

It’s not until they’re driving through the complex, taking the last turn down the street his parents live on, that Blaine realizes he never turned his cell phone back on after they landed. And that he must have missed something serious.

Because there’s an ambulance in front of his parent’s building.

Lights flickering, rolling blue and red.

“Kurt,” he says, shaking Kurt’s shoulder. Kurt had been dozing on and off in the passenger seat. Blaine glances in the rearview mirror and sees both kids bolt upright.

“Is that …” Addie starts to say. Blaine puts the car into park and leaps out, not caring that he’s barely even at the curb, not caring that he didn’t even take the keys out of the ignition. He runs for his parents doorway, not even noticing the police officer telling him to stop, slow down.

The door to their first floor condo is wide open. Blaine knows it’s his dad. It must be his dad. Until he sees his father standing off to the side in the doorway of the kitchen, his mom on a stretcher. His father’s face is ashen, his mother’s face is ghostly. They have an oxygen mask on her and Blaine kind of feels like he could use it himself the moment.

He skids to a stop.

“Blaine!” His father says when he notices him.

His mom seems too out of it to do anything.

“What … what?” is all Blaine can get out of his mouth. All of his breath has left his lungs. He stands there waiting for an explanation.

Outside, Kurt switches to the driver’s seat and properly parks the car and turns it off. He glances back at Addie and Declan.

“Should we?” Addie asks, gesturing towards the walkway.

Kurt shakes his head. “Let’s wait for Dad to come back out. It shouldn’t be long.”

Addie switches the passenger seat and Declan leans in between, resting his elbow on the arm rest console, his chin in hand.

“You think it’s Mama or Pop?” Addie asks, absently twirling her hair around her finger in between halfhearted signing.

“Maybe it’s not them at all,” Declan answers. “Maybe it’s one of their neighbors. A lot of old people live around here.”

Kurt sighs, but doesn’t say anything, not wanting to get his own hopes up. They can’t quite see around the corner of the building from here, and that’s where the doors are, so it’s impossible to tell. But he’s pretty sure Blaine would have come back out by now if it wasn’t one of his parents.

Blaine comes jogging back out to the car a minute later. Kurt rolls down the window for him.

“Daddy?” Addie says, before Blaine can even get a thought out of his mouth.

“It’s okay, Addie girl,” he tells. “It’s Mama. She wa-wa-wasn’t feeling good so Pop called 911. They think she had a mmmm-minor heart attack.”

“Is she okay?” Kurt asks. “What’s happening?”

“My dad’s going to, to, to go in the ambulance and Coop’s gonna come p-p-pick me up. And we’ll mmmmm-meet them there. You guys can go into the house and s-s-s-settle dah-down.”

“I’m not settling down,” Kurt states. “I’ll go with you.”

“Yeah, me too,” Addie says.

“Yeah, me too,” Declan repeats, sounding a bit more hesitant than Addie, but sitting up straight and looking Blaine in the eye.

“No, really guys. It’s s-s-so late. And it’s going to be a, a, a long night. I b-b-b-b-bet Coop and I won’t even stay that long. They’ll pah-pah, prah-obably kick us out. We just want to mmm-make sure we know what, what, what’s going on.”

The EMT’s bring the stretcher out at that moment and Addie muffles a little cry behind her hand.

His father comes out behind them, and tosses a wave towards the car, before doing his best to jump up into the ambulance himself.

“Come on,” Kurt says. “Let’s at least get our stuff inside and discuss it in there.”

In the end, Blaine convinces his family to stay at the condo while he and Cooper go find out what’s up with his parents. They’re not happy about it, but Kurt understands. Sometimes it’s just too hard to have a lot of people around.

They run into their father near the entrance to the ER.

“I just got off the phone with your aunt Kathy. I didn’t want to make her too nervous, but sometimes she calls and,” he stops and rubs his eyes.

Blaine puts his hand on his father’s arm.

“Do we know anything else yet?” Cooper asks.

“Nothing yet. They’re doing tests right now.”

They head back into the hospital, where they stay in the waiting room for what seems like forever while Michelle gets x-rayed and poked and prodded. When they’re finally allowed back to see her, she’s much more aware than she was the last time Blaine saw her.

She smiles at three of them as they approach, and when they get close she tells them, “It’s pneumonia. Just pneumonia.”

“Pneumonia so bad that your husband called the ambulance on you,” Cooper says.

Blaine and his father are too busy being relieved to even say anything. Greg walks over to the other side of the bed and squeezes Michelle’s hand.

“You were so confused,” Greg tells her. “And you said your chest hurt. I thought, I thought, it was… ” He leans over and kisses her cheek.

“Apparently I bruised a rib coughing,” she explains. “That’s why my chest hurt. They’re admitting me for tonight, but they say this should clear up pretty well with antibiotics in a couple days.”

They stay for a while, waiting until she’s admitted and then the family gets kicked out. They’re told visiting hours start at 9 and that they’ll have a lot more information in the morning anyway.

“I’m so sorry for ruining your birthday weekend,” Michelle says as they walk out the door. Greg can’t help but laugh.

“Who gives a damn about ice fishing?” he asks.

Cooper takes one look at the way his father is dragging his feet as they walk back to the elevator and tells Blaine and their dad to wait by the entrance and he’ll go retrieve the car from the far off lot they parked it in.

Blaine stands there with his father, watching their breath puff out in the cold air.

“Well,” he starts in a quiet voice. “I thought she was done for.”.

Blaine nods, trying to hold back his tears.

“She’s been talking lately about how lucky we’ve been. How luh, luh,” his dad pauses and his voice cracks. “How lucky we are to get this old, to have had all these years together.” He shakes his head and then looks at Blaine, eyes filled with tears, but a smile dancing on his lips. “I figured she’d jinxed us for sure!”

Blaine lets a little giggle escape his mouth.

“I kept telling her not to talk like that. Like she was asking for trouble.”

“Buh-buh-buh-ut she’s okay,” Blaine says.

His father nods. “She is. I’m just ranting like an old coot. Don’t mind me.”

“Hey, Dad,” Blaine says seriously, wanting to get his father’s attention. “It’s okay.”

His father looks at him.

Blaine closes the distance and holds his father in a hug, and then he can feel the sobs wracking through his dad’s body. They used to be just about the same height, but Greg’s been shrinking the past few years and right now he feels light in Blaine’s arms, like a stiff wind could blow him away.

Greg sighs and collects himself, squeezing Blaine before stepping back.

Cooper pulls up to the curb then and Blaine opens the passenger door for his dad and he scoots in. Blaine hops into the backseat and they head back to the condo.

“What did Blaine do to make you cry?” Cooper asks. And somehow this one arbitrary question fills a space in their hearts and they feel like they can breathe. The three men laugh all the way home.


	29. Chapter 29

_June, 2039  
Blaine and Kurt are 45, Addie is 14, and Declan is 12._

“Is my voice really weird?” Declan asks, seemingly out of nowhere one night at dinner. “Or even a little weird?”

Kurt and Blaine look at each other and then look at Declan. His speech isn’t perfect. He can be a little hard to understand if you don’t know him well, particularly if he’s emotional or excited. But when he lost interest in speech therapy last year, his dads decided not to push the subject.

“You sound fine,” Kurt says.

“Yeah, we all understand you,” Blaine says.

Declan looks at Addie suspiciously; knowing that if anyone will tell him the truth, it’s Addie.

“I think you sound okay,” she says, after thinking for a long time. Kurt and Blaine let out a sigh of relief.

“Just okay?” Declan asks.

Addie shrugs. “You could probably sound better, if you went back to therapy.”

Declan stares at his food.

“Where d-d-did this question come from?” Blaine asks, knowing instinctively that something had to have happened at school.

“One of the girls at school said,” Declan pauses, taking a deep breath, “She said I sound like a baby. That her three year old brother talks better than I do.”

After a moment of surprised silence, Kurt asks, “What did you say?”

“Nothing,” Declan tells him. “I walked away.” He glances away from Kurt and bounces nervously in his chair.

“Well, that’s not, that’s not, that’s not very nice,” Blaine says, feeling like his heart is in his throat but trying his best not let Declan see how emotional this is making him. Too many bad memories of his own mixing with the feeling that Declan has been through enough in his life, that bullying shouldn’t be another obstacle he has to face.

“Please don’t tell anybody,” Declan whispers.

“We probably should tell your teacher,” Kurt says. He rubs his eyes, feeling awful, but much like his husband trying to keep his feelings under control.

“No, please. Please don’t,” Declan begs.

Addie’s been quiet this whole time, watching her brother and fathers discuss this.

She clears her throat and all three look over at her. She sits up straighter in her chair. “When did this happen Dec?”

“During gym today.”

“Who was it?” Addie asks.

“You don’t know her.”

“I bet I do,” Addie says, giving Declan a threatening look.

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore,” he mumbles. “I’m gonna go do my homework.”

“Alright,” Blaine says. “Let us know if you need anything.”

Declan nods and walks slowly up the stairs.

“I bet I know who it is,” Addie says icily.

“Calm down, Addie,” Kurt says. “There’s nothing you can do about it.”

“Oh, there’s plenty I could do about it. No one should mess with Declan. And it’s like an unspoken rule that you don’t make fun of the speech of the kids in the hearing program. And like everyone knows who they are. And mostly everyone is cool about it. But there’s always one b...” She stops short, glancing at her fathers, scratching at her neck self-consciously, but then she sits up straight and licks her lips. “One bitch,” she finishes her voice defiant.

“Don’t talk like that Addie.”

“Why not? That’s obviously what she is.”

“Use better words, you’re smarter than that,” Kurt admonishes.

Addie gets up from the table leaving her fathers to sit and stew.

“Oh, god, I hate this so mmm-much,” Blaine says, putting his face in his hands.

“I know, poop. I know.” Kurt rubs his arm.

“What should we dah-do?”

“I honestly don’t know.”

They talk about it, here and there over the next few weeks. School’s ending soon, and they get caught in the whirlwind of the end of the year. Addie’s graduating from middle school, which comes with more trappings than the boys could have expected.

By the time it’s all said and done, the family is exhausted and more than ready for summer vacation.

About a week after school ends Declan approaches them about something. He tells them it’s serious and that he wants them to listen before they say anything. He has them sit down on the couch and then he stands before them, face sober and eyes nervous.

“I know it’s expensive,” he starts. His anxiety is palpable, his hands shaking as he signs. “And I know you’ve already spent a lot of money on me. But I want a second cochlear implant. And I know wanting one is different than getting one, but I thought I should tell you guys.”

Blaine and Kurt sit quietly, listening.

“Um. I did some research. And a second implant often clears up a lot of the deaf accent. Even when kids get them when they’re older. Sometimes even when adults get them. And today’s implants are a lot better than the one I already have, so if this one fails, I won’t be left in the dust. I also looked around, and I found a doctor at Johns Hopkins who’s doing a study on kids who get second implants in adolescence and I kind of already emailed him myself. So like, the implant wouldn’t cost us anything if I’m part of the study, but we would have to go to Maryland sometimes.”

Now his fathers have a little harder of a time keeping their mouths shut. They both make shocked faces, but do their best.

Declan bounces on his toes nervously. “And he kind of wants to meet me, meet with us, next week. So. Um.”

His fathers remain silent.

Declan crosses his arms defensively and avoids eye contact. “Um. You can talk now. I’m sorry about going behind your backs.”

Kurt blinks with surprise, feeling pretty speechless.

“Do you have these emails you’ve been ssss-sending?” Blaine asks.

“Um, yes.”

“Can w-w-we sss-see them?”

“Okay,” Declan grabs the laptop from the kitchen counter. “Are you guys, are you really mad at me?” he asks, hesitantly.

“Jury’s still out,” Kurt says through gritted teeth, at the same time Blaine says a simple “no.”

Kurt gives Blaine a look like ‘who gave you the authority?’

Blaine shrugs. “I can’t fault his re-re-research skills,” he says.

They go over the emails together, Declan explaining what he’s already learned about the Johns Hopkins Hearing Center. And that he thinks this would be a really great opportunity for him. He also tells them that from what he’s read, a second implant can make a really big difference.

Kurt slowly relaxes, as he listens to Declan’s explanation and things fall into place.

“Is this about your speech?” Kurt asks.

Declan nods, ducking his head.

“I mean, I know I could improve it with speech therapy, but I don’t think I could improve it all the way. If I could hear better, then maybe I could. Maybe I’d sound better.”

“And what if it doesn’t work that way for you?” Kurt asks. He doesn’t want to challenge Declan; he just wants to make sure that he understands that a second implant isn’t necessarily going to be a miracle. Truth be told, Kurt doesn’t want to get his own hopes up either.

“No, I know. But it can only help right?”

Kurt nods.

“I think Dad and I need to talk about this,” Blaine tells him. “I’m impressed with what you’ve dah-dah-done, even though you really shouldn’t have done it w-w-without talking to us first. Buh-buh-ut I think you did a lot of hard work.”

Declan nods, his expression still stricken. He looks at Kurt cautiously.

“I agree,” Kurt says.

Declan lets out a long sigh of relief. “Can I go hang out with Jack?”

“Yeah, sure. Just be back in time for dinner.”

He basically leaps out the back door. Blaine sees him hop the fence between the yards and can’t help but smile. Then he turns to Kurt and sighs.

“And this is one of those s-s-situations where I’m not fit to be a, a, a parent,” Blaine says.

“What do you mean?” Kurt’s face is etched with concern.

“I’m pretty sure this is when we’re ssss-supposed to tell him that if he accepts himself other people will accept him. That he’s p-p-perfect how he is and we love him. That his s-sp-spah-eech doesn’t mmm-matter to anyone.”

Kurt nods, not sure where Blaine is going with this.

“Buu-but-ut if I could have surgery that even gave me a tiny percent chance of clearing up mmm-my own speech, I-I-I would.”

“Still?”

Blaine nods. “In a heartbeat.”

“I wouldn’t have guessed you still felt like that.”

Blaine shrugs. “It’s not like it used to be, obviously. Buh-buh-ut the idea of picking up the phone to call someone and knowing that I wouldn’t sssss-tutter? That would be amazing. Or feeling like I wouldn’t have to r-r-repeat myself when I-I-I-I try to say our last name while picking up pizza? I mean, it’s tiny stuff, but it makes a d-d-d-difference in your everyday life.”

Now it’s Kurt’s turn to nod.

“We understand Declan perfectly. Buh-buh-ut not everyone does. I’ve seen strangers give him blah-blah-ank looks when he speaks. And Declan’s seen it too. He’ll clam up,” Blaine stops, thinking about a moment he saw a few weeks ago.

Addie had a friend over. Not anyone Blaine had met before, a girl named Ashley. Addie had gone upstairs to get something for a project they were working on and Declan offered Ashley a soda, because he was getting one for himself. She was nice about it, she asked him to repeat himself, but Blaine could see that she didn’t get it. She just laughed a little, acting like Declan had said something funny and then turned away with an uncomfortable look on her face.

He relays the story to Kurt.

Kurt hangs his head, feeling defeated on Declan’s behalf.

“Yeah. I see what you mean.” Kurt sucks in a deep breath and levels his gaze at Blaine. “But what if it doesn’t have the wanted effect? What if he’s disappointed?”

Blaine smiles, thinking momentarily of a conversation he had with his parents when he was in college. “Then it’s his disappointment. But at least he tried.”

Kurt thinks it over. He knows Blaine has a point. They get in touch with the doctor themselves that evening and the decision is made that the family will go meet with him over the coming weekend.

When they tell Declan the good news, he hugs both his dads tightly, thanking them over and over again. Kurt heads out the door, needing to pick some things up for their weekend trip. After he leaves Declan stands near the kitchen doorway looking torn.

“What’s up?” Blaine asks.

“I just didn’t think you’d say yes. That because I did a lot of this without telling you guys, that you’d be mad and you’d say no to punish me or something.”

“Why did you do it the w-w-way you did?” Blaine asks.

“Because I didn’t want you to say no right away,” Declan says, shrugging. “It doesn’t make sense now, but that’s what I was thinking.”

“It’s all good, Dec,” Blaine tells him, kissing the side of his head. And for the first time ever, Blaine notices he doesn’t have to lean to accomplish that. He steps back to look at his 12 year old son and realizes Declan’s only a few inches shorter than him these days.

“What?” Declan asks, looking self-conscious.

“You grew like 7 inches s-s-s-since yesterday,” Blaine says.

“I know!” Declan exclaims. “Well, not since yesterday. But I got taller!”

They visit Johns Hopkins a couple times over the next month, and by the middle of August it’s time for Declan’s implant. He’s nervous, it’s written all over his face.

“Do you remember much about your first surgery?” Kurt asks while they wait for Declan to go into the operating room early in the morning. It’s just the three of them for this visit. Addie is spending the weekend at her friend’s house.

Declan squints his eyes. They’ve already started giving him an IV before the surgery and he’s becoming loose and slow.

“Not really. I remember my head feeling big. But, not much about the surgery,” he says.

When it’s time to go, they offer words of encouragement and then he’s through the doors.

“I think I need coffee,” Kurt says.

Blaine holds his hand out and Kurt takes it, squeezing.

The first time Declan had surgery they sat stone faced in the waiting room the entire time, feeling like they didn’t blink or breathe until the surgeon came out to talk to them. This time they promised each other they wouldn’t do that. That’s it hard enough as it is, and only made harder if they don’t try to distract themselves.

They while away an hour or so in the hotel coffee shop. They call Addie, because they promised they would. They go for a walk. At the two hour mark they allow themselves to go back to the OR waiting room. They mess around on their phones, playing games. They watch the tv in corner. At least they’re alone in the room, which always helps.

When the surgeon comes out, he tells them that it went well, perfectly in fact and that they can go into recovery and see Declan.

It’s harder this time for Blaine. He wants so much to pick Declan up and have him curl on his lap the way he did seven years ago after surgery. But that doesn’t work as well with a kid who’s almost as tall as you are.

So they comfort him as best they can and a few hours later he’s awake and okay, a little woozy and he says his head hurts. But he watches tv and video chats with Addie. (He can’t get his other transmitter on with the bandages at the moment, so he’s relying on sign.)

He’s released from the hospital that evening and they take him back to the hotel. They prop him up in one the queen sized beds and he tells his fathers he’s done with the bunk beds in his room and wants one like this. Blaine is very sad and tries to talk him out of that idea.

The next day they meet with the doctor and then head home. Declan will visit Johns Hopkins once a year for the next 5 years, but aside from that, everything else can be handled from near home.

Six weeks later and it’s time to get the new implant activated. This time around, Declan doesn’t notice much difference immediately. He says things feel more even and loud, but that’s to be expected.

It’s not until October that things start to change. Declan comes home from school one day and says that during class he could hear birds chirping outside over the sound of his teacher’s voice.

“That’s never happened b-b-before?” Blaine asks, always forgetting that the things he takes for granted might not have been in Declan’s scope of comprehension.

“Never.”

And it continues that way. He goes back to speech therapy and his enunciation starts to improve. He hears the ding of the oven timer from two rooms away. He hears footsteps on the stairs. He can pinpoint sounds in a loud room. Every time he goes to the audiologist, they adjust frequencies and sound levels. And every time he comes home and feels like he can hear a little bit better.

Kurt watches Declan one evening pluck away at the piano in the living room, playing simple melodies, smiling the whole time.

Blaine comes up behind him.

“Are we allowed to chalk this one up as a miracle?” Blaine asks.

Kurt pulls Blaine’s arms around his waist. “You know, I think we probably can.”


	30. Chapter 30

_April, 2040  
Kurt is 46, Blaine is 45, Addie is 15, and Declan is 13._

It’s Declan’s first game of the season, first game of his life really. And as it turns out, he has a bit of a knack for baseball. When he came home after his first practice, his cheeks were rosy and his eyes were excited, talking about pitching and batting, and how much he likes his coach. Blaine and Kurt were thrilled for him, if not a little sad that it took him all this time to finally decide to join. He could have had baseball in his life for years. He wouldn’t have needed perfect speech and hearing to play baseball.

They sit in the stands on a chilly early April evening. Addie’s there too, but she’s hanging around by the snack stand. Apparently a boy she likes works there sometimes and she’s hoping he’ll show up. Or at least that’s what her fathers have extrapolated from what little she’s told them, and what they could glean from a few accidentally overheard conversations.

Blaine blows into his hands, trying to warm his fingers.

“Want me to go get us hot chocolate from the stand?” Kurt offers.

“What, and run the r-r-r-risk of Addie shunning you for mmm-months to come?” Blaine retorts.

“She can’t keep us from being warm!” Kurt exclaims as he hops down the bleachers. “I’ll be right back.”

Blaine watches him walk over. He smiles at how Kurt completely ignores Addie and yet Blaine is sure that she’s going to think the only reason he’s over there is to annoy her. Blaine knows they’ll hear about it later. He focuses his attention to Declan’s team warming up during batting practice.

Declan was nervous on the way here, and adamant that his fathers at least try to be cool. To keep an eye on how the other parents behaved and to act like them. They both promised to do their best.

Kurt returns just before the game starts with their hot chocolates.

“I’m pretty sure Addie’s going to give me a stern talking to later,” Kurt says, holding the watery cocoa up to his face and at least enjoying the way the steam warms his nose.

“I’m pretty sure we give her too mmm-power,” Blaine says.

“Well, yeah,” Kurt agrees. “But where would we be without her?”

Blaine chuckles. Addie really is an integral part of the household. He’s not sure what they’re going to do in a couple years when she leaves for college. It’s not that she holds up more than her fair share of household duties, because she certainly doesn’t. Addie is most often found glued to her cell phone or out with friends. But when she is around and more importantly when they really need her, she’s there. She’s got a lot of common sense and she’s great with Declan. She’s willing to give her opinion, even though they don’t always appreciate it, sometimes they need to hear it.

The first inning starts. Declan sits on the bench as most of the other kids take the field.

“Why does he have to stay on the bench?” Kurt whispers. He’s trying to exercise the discretion that Declan asked for and he doesn’t want all the other parents on the bleachers to hear him. “I thought he said he was going to play.”

“He did. Maybe later?” Blaine answers.

Kurt squints at the field. Declan was really excited about playing their first game “under the lights” but there are a lot of shadows and Kurt feels like he can’t even see everything that’s going on.

“Have I ever mentioned how much I dislike baseball?” Kurt mutters.

“You have, once or twice.”

When it’s time for Declan’s team to bat, they watch several boys get up to bat, but not Declan.

This pattern continues until the bottom of the third when Declan finally gets up to hit. He hits a nice line drive that goes almost directly into the shortstop’s glove.

“It’s okay, Dec,” Blaine calls out. He can’t help himself, his instinct is to comfort. Declan gives him an embarrassed half wave.

Addie shows up a few innings later, squeezing in between her fathers for warmth, and bringing them more hot chocolate, which they gratefully accept.

“I take it flirting time is over?” Kurt asks.

She punches him lightly in the knee.

“Did it go well? Are you in looooooove?” Kurt teases.

“You’re the meanest father on earth,” she tells him. 

“No way! Not even close,” Kurt protests.

Addie moves closer to Blaine. “Poop would never say such a thing.”

“Poop would never say such a thing,” Kurt mimics.

Addie holds up a finger threateningly, though Kurt can see her smile is genuine and she’s on the verge of laughter. Then she shivers as the breeze picks up.

“You should have a hat,” Kurt tells her.

Blaine pulls the hat off his head and hands it to her.

“Thank you, Daddy,” she says sincerely to Blaine, before turning to Kurt and sticking her tongue.

“You’re a brat,” Kurt says.

“You’re a brat,” Addie says back.

“If you two could sssss-top it, you might be interested to find out that Declan is about to take the pitcher’s mm-mound,” Blaine interjects.

Kurt and Addie whip their heads towards the field, and when Addie sees Declan on the mound warming up she lets out a “whoop!” He turns to stare at her. She’s pretty sure he’s trying to give her a meaningful look of indignation but it’s impossible to tell from this distance.

“I’m so nervous!” Kurt says, smiling. And he is. He feels it in his chest. He just wants everything to go well for Declan. Always, obviously, but particularly tonight.

“He looks nervous. Does he s-s-s-seem too nervous?” Blaine asks, turning towards Addie and Kurt.

“He does look nervous,” Kurt agrees, chewing on his bottom lip.

“Suddenly I’m so anxious it doesn’t even mmmm-matter that I’m cold,” Blaine says.

“If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times,” Addie says. “You’re both gigantic dorks.”

They don’t disagree.

Declan throws his first pitch and it’s a little wild. But the second and the third are clean strikes.

“He’s good,” Blaine says eyes wide.

The batter takes a decent swing at the next one and pops it up to the third baseman. But now it’s like Declan’s in the zone. He squints at the next batter and winds up. He throws three nice strikes in a row.

In the bleachers, his fathers are just about falling out of their seats.

“You two need to chill out. You’re acting like this is the extra innings during the World Series. When in reality it’s the 7th inning of game one of a very long little league season.”

The inning ends and Declan gets up again, getting on base this time. The game continues, and it’s definitely a lot more exciting now that Declan’s involved. And eventually Kurt and Blaine do relax.

When the game is over, Declan’s team wins 4 to 2, Kurt, Blaine, and Addie signal to him that they’ll be waiting for him in the car.

Kurt slides into the driver’s seat and turns the heat on full blast. “That was fun,” he says and he means it.

“It r-r-r-really was,” Blaine agrees.

Declan gets into the car, sliding into the backseat.

“That was awesome!” he says.

The family agrees. They get onto the end of a line of cars trying to exit the town sports complex.

“There’s gotta be a better way,” Kurt mutters. The traffic flow in their town leaves something to be desired even on the best days. “How is it that we’re sitting in traffic at 8:38 at night?”

“Um.” Declan clears his throat and his parents both look at him. He rubs his neck nervously.

“What’s up, Dec?” Blaine asks.

“Well. It’s just that.” Declan looks at Addie.

“Tell them,” she says. “It’s okay.”

He takes a deep breath. “You guys don’t need to sign anymore.”

Kurt and Blaine stare at their son for a minute, trying to understand where this came from. The car behind them honks. It’s their turn to merge out of the parking lot. Kurt pulls forward.

“Why would we stop s-s-signing?” Blaine asks.

Declan shrugs. “I don’t need it anymore. I’ve been thinking about it a lot and I talked to Addie about it.”

Kurt glances at Addie in the rearview mirror and she nods.

“I hear everything,” Declan says. “It was even more apparent tonight at the game. I could hear you guys in the stands. I understood everything my coach said. He didn’t sign at all really. Just a little bit here and there.”

“But why would we stop?” Kurt asks.

“Because I can hear.”

“But it’s how we talk,” Blaine says, confused.

“That’s what Addie said too. It seems to me like it’s got to get annoying for everybody though. And it’s unnecessary and I feel like it burdens you guys. I don’t even pay that much attention to it. I mean, I see it, but I don’t need it.”

“For starters, it’s definitely not a burden. Nothing about you or your hearing is a burden to us,” Kurt tells him matter-of-factly.

“Okay,” Declan whispers. “Please don’t be mad.”

“We’re not mm-mad, Dec. We’re just a little s-s-s-surprised that you feel this way,” Blaine says.

“I have a question,” Addie pipes in. “I should have asked it when I talked to you about it originally.”

Declan nods.

“Even though you say you don’t need it, do you want it? Don’t you like it?”

Declan thinks about this but doesn’t say anything right away.

“I mean, I like it. Ever since I was a kid I felt like we had a secret language in our family. It just made me feel special,” Addie continues.

“Maybe we don’t have to be special anymore,” Declan says.

“Oh, Dec. We’ll always be special,” Addie tells him with a grin. “Poop and DumDum will make sure of that.”

“I don’t really see myself ssss-topping,” Blaine says. “I think you forget that I liked to sign way b-b-b-before you came into the picture.”

They’re pulling into the driveway and everyone stays in the car even when Kurt turns the engine off.

“I don’t think we need to stop,” Kurt says.

“You can. That’s all I’m saying,” Declan said.

“Are you going to stop?” Addie asks Declan.

“Not really. I mean, there are still interpreters at school. And it does help with some things. Like if it’s really loud in a room.”

They go inside, everyone quiet and lost in their own thoughts. The family stands in the kitchen for a minute looking at each other.

“I guess I just don’t want anyone to do anything they don’t want to do,” Declan concludes.

“Well, you’re in luck, because this is something we really, really want to do. Particularly if it helps even a tiny bit.” Kurt puts his arm around Declan’s shoulders. “Now, go take a shower. You stink of boy and outside.”

Declan smiles and heads towards the stairs. “Oh, one other thing. I definitely don’t need the lights to flash anymore to signal the doorbell.”

“Alright, that we’ll stop,” Blaine concedes.

Declan says thank you and heads up the stairs.

Addie’s eating a spoonful of peanut butter and both of her dads turn around to look at her.

“When did he bring this up?” Blaine asks.

Addie shrugs. “About a month ago?”

Blaine and Kurt are quiet for a minute.

“And before you ask, no, I didn’t want to tell you. I didn’t think it was my place. Declan told me he was going to talk to you about it when he was ready, but that he was nervous about it.”

“It’s okay, Addie.”

“Of course it is,” she says.

“Go do your homework,” Blaine says.

“I finished it before the game.”

“Go talk to Lydia,” Kurt says.

“We’re in a fight.”

“Well, I don’t know what to tell you Addie. Go find something to do with yourself so your father and I can talk about our children in private.”

“You do realize you could go to your room. Seeing as how this,” she pauses and makes circular motions with her hands, “is a common, family area of our home.”

“Fine,” Kurt says, smirking. “Dad and I are going upstairs to talk about you guys.”

“Fine.” She kisses them both on the cheek and then flounces into the family room, throwing herself down on the couch and turning on the TV.

“Don’t stay up too late,” Blaine calls over his shoulder.

Addie gives him a thumbs up.

When Kurt and Blaine get upstairs, they close their bedroom door and are quiet for a minute.

“How did they get so old?” Kurt asks, breaking the silence.

Blaine shakes his head. “I feel like that’s the moral of the story. They’re both so old.”

They sit down on the edge of the bed next to each other, shoulder to shoulder, before thumping back onto the mattress.

“We’re old too, you know,” Kurt says.

“Nah, we’re just perfect,” Blaine tells him, rolling onto his side and poking Kurt’s stomach, flat and firm even in middle age. Blaine chews on his bottom lip for a moment. “What do you think about this? About Declan not wanting us to sign anymore?”

“I think it’s not his choice. It doesn’t sound like he doesn’t want us to sign, but that he thinks because he doesn’t need it as much that we don’t have to. So I say we keep doing it.”

“I agree,” Blaine says. 

“I fought long and hard to be the mediocre signer I am today!” Kurt says, pumping his fist lazily as Blaine laughs. 

“You’re a wonderful ssss-signer,” Blaine says, kissing Kurt.

“I am mediocre at best and you know it,” Kurt retorts. “But this is one of those topics where I don’t mind if you patronize me.”

Blaine smiles as he rolls onto his back and they stay next to each other on the bed for a few more minutes, staring at the ceiling.

Kurt yawns.

“I’m not ready to go to sleep yet,” Blaine says, glancing at the clock.

“Me neither. Want to go bug Addie for a little while?” Kurt suggests. “Find out why she’s fighting with Lydia?”

Blaine’s eyes light up at the prospect.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for death of an OC in this chapter. I'm sorry!

_Kurt and Blaine are 47, Addie is 16, and Declan is 14._

Addie’s Journal  
July 2, 2041

I have basically been harassing my fathers to let me drive for the past 72 hours. It’s like neither one of them have time to get in the car with me. But I need to keep practicing so that I don’t fail my driver’s test in October. Why don’t they understand this?

I bet they want me to fail. I bet they think that I’m not mature enough to have a driver’s license. I bet they’ll never let me drive. I bet they’ll somehow keep me from driving for my whole life. Even when I’m a grownup. I bet they think I’m stupid.

Addie no one thinks that. We’ve just been busy. But now with the holiday weekend coming up we’ll have plenty of time to let you drive.

Poop! How dare you read my intimate thoughts in my intimate thoughts journal! You are fired!

Adelaide. When I walked into the room you said “Oh! I forgot something … in the basement.” Then you looked meaningfully from me to the OPEN JOURNAL. You were basically telegraphing that I was supposed to read it. You even nodded your head towards it.

Fine. Can we practice driving now?

The phone is ringing. As soon as I’m done answering/talking we’ll go practice, okay?

Okay.

…

It turns out that the phone call was actually Pop calling to tell us that Mama died. I guess driving doesn’t seem so important anymore.

July 3, 2041

We’re leaving early to drive to Ohio for Mama’s funeral. The actual funeral isn’t until Saturday because with the Fourth of July in the middle of the week, they need to spread out the wake and all that. 

I always feel weird writing Mama, but that’s what I call her when I talk to her. Or I call her Mamacita because that’s what Daddy always calls her. One time I asked him why he calls her that since they don’t speak Spanish and he was like “I have no idea why I do that. I think I started when I was a teenager and I just liked it.” But when I talk about her, I refer to her as Grandma or my grandma or my grandmother. Because when I say Mama, people think I’m talking about my mom and that I’m like from the prairie or something. But my mom’s name is DiDi and that’s what I call her.

Anyway. We’re leaving in a few minutes and I’m just so worried about my dad. He’s so, so sad. And this was really shocking. She wasn’t even sick. She just died from a massive heart attack. One minute alive, talking to Pop while they were eating lunch and the next second not alive.

I just read what I wrote and my brain is obviously all over the place, so I’m going to finish packing and we have to leave. I guess that’s what I get for trying to write coherently before 7 in the morning.

…

I just keep thinking about how one second she was alive and the next second she wasn’t. (sorry this writing is all shaky, I’m writing in the car.) Poop just offered to let me drive. Is this real life?

…

IT IS REAL LIFE. They let me drive for like an hour on route 80 in Pennsylvania and it was exhilarating. I don’t think I’m sad enough right now. I feel like this isn’t real life. We’re at a rest stop because the dads decided they needed coffee and Declan needed to go to the bathroom, but I wanted to just stay in the car. 

Maybe it’ll all feel more real when we get there.

…

Seeing Pop’s face made it all feel real. (Pop, not Poop. Poop also looks sad, but Pop looks sadder.)

The last time I saw my grandparents (both sets) was at Christmas and Pop looks like he aged about a hundred years since then. He was using a cane, because he broke his hip a few years ago and sometimes it’s a little weak, but now he’s like REALLY using a cane. Not just like walking around normal and holding it jauntily. And it’s not a pretty wooden one now; it’s like a metal old person cane. This cane is no joke. Why am I so fixated on this cane? I don’t know what my brain is doing.

July 4, 2041

We went over to Cooper and Katinka’s today. They said even though Mama died we should really have a barbecue. Because she loved barbecues. Her and Pop met at a barbecue.

It was a fun day, I’m not going to lie. Everyone was a little sad and Pop asked to go home early, so Daddy drove him home and then came back. But they have a pool and the food was good and we made fresh guacamole. I mean, what more could you ask for?

I kept feeling like I was waiting for somebody else to arrive though. Like I kept walking over to the driveway like Mama’s car was going to pull up at any moment. It’s a weird feeling. 

I don’t really know anyone else who died. Or, more accurately, I was never this close to someone who died before. My first grade teacher died, but I was already in fourth grade and it really didn’t affect. One of our neighbors died, but I didn’t really know him because he was sick and always in the house.

I just feel like my brain is all over the place and I’m not making sense. But I also want to get all of these thoughts down on paper. They feel important. They feel like things I might forget eventually. And while I’m sad, I don’t want to forget.

July 5, 2041

We’re at Cooper’s in between the wakes. I don’t understand wakes. I don’t think I want to have one. It’s so weird to have everyone stand around look at a dead body. I mean, I know I’m not the first person to ever feel this way. Plenty of people don’t have wakes, or have closed caskets, but I feel like this is one of those things that should have gone out of style a hundred years ago. It just seems so barbaric.

The dads are holding up pretty well. I’ve seen them cry a million times, like when Declan first started talking, when Mama was sick with pneumonia, that kind of stuff. Also at made for TV movies that deal with any type of adversity. They are men who are truly in touch with their feelings. But neither of them are crying now. Aren’t you supposed to cry at funerals? Although I’m not crying either, so maybe this isn’t the sad part yet. I suppose the sad part will be tomorrow when they bury the body.

…

I used to worship, and I mean WORSHIP, the ground that Sabine and Hannah walked on. But now they don’t seem as cool as they used to. And I don’t mean that in a bad way, but they’re just people. I like hanging out with them. I guess that’s what happens as you get older. You start seeing people for what they are as opposed to what you want them to be.

July 6, 2041

Well, that was emotional. Out of nowhere Daddy got up and gave the eulogy. Usually he avoids speaking in public, says he’s not good at it, that no one wants to listen to him stutter and mess up. (I think he’s full of shit.) But what he said today was amazing. And like, if anyone, anywhere were ever to say things like that about me, I can’t even imagine it. Because it’s like, he didn’t just love his mom, the way anyone who loves their parents love their parents. (That’s an awkward sentence, but I think you know what I mean.) He respected her. 

In any event, it turns out that the crying at funerals happens during the eulogy. I don’t think there was a dry eye in the house. Declan cried. And I haven’t seen Declan cry in years and years. Not because he’s like a tough guy or anything, but just because he’s not a crier. Unlike his emotional fathers.

I was really proud of my dad. I could cry just thinking about it. And he didn’t even stutter that much. And he kept his composure even while he was singing for her.

…

I found the piece of paper that my dad wrote down his eulogy on and I asked him if I could keep it. He said yes, so I’m just going to tape it in here:

My mother once told me that at her funeral she wanted me to play “Sunday Morning Coming Down” by Johnny Cash on the guitar and that I didn’t have to worry about saying a word. I told her that it is one of the most inappropriate songs I could ever imagine playing at a funeral, seeing as how it’s about a hangover, and she said “Obviously. That’s why I want it.”

And I will play that Johnny Cash song, because that’s what she wanted, and that’s what I promised, but it turns out that I’m not nearly as afraid of public speaking as I once was and I have a few things I’d like to say. This is the very least I can do.

When I was a kid, I firmly believed that sun rose and set with my mother. That she could do no wrong, that she was perfect. And then when I was teenager I decided that she didn’t particularly like me and I stopped liking her as much. She was smart enough to send me to a therapist, and that started me on a better road. But it wasn’t until the day I left for college that everything started falling into place.

I was terrified. I don’t think I’d ever been so scared of anything in my entire life as I was at the prospect of leaving my home, my family, the only place I’d ever known. Even if I hated high school, even if I often felt like a burden to my parents, I was having a really hard time imagining what was waiting for me in New York. I remember being really relieved that my mom was with me, that she could help me with everything. We were sitting in the cab and she told me I needed to try. And I was so hurt that she would say such a thing, that she thought I didn’t try. But I realize now she was saying it because that’s what I needed to hear. She was telling me that she knew I could do it. And then she told me she was proud of me. I almost cried. I was so happy to hear that she was proud of me.

I’ve basically spent my life since then just trying to make my mom proud. And my dad, too, and my husband, and my kids. But it all started with her, that day in a very smelly cab. Luckily as I got older, life got easier. And it got easier to talk to my parents about things. I know she was proud of me. And I plan on making her proud for the rest of my life. It’s the least I can do.

After that, he played the song. Everyone laughed at the line “and caught the Sunday smell of someone frying chicken.” Because I don’t think there’s anyone in my dad’s family who doesn’t know how much chicken means to him. 

But now I’m listening to the song again, and I think I understand why Mama wanted it played at her funeral. There’s a line about how “there’s nothing short of dying, that’s half as lonesome as it sounds...” I bet she wanted us to remember that she’s the one who left and that we still have each other. She’s smart like that. She would think like that. She would make sure we all remembered that.

…

Declan and I are sharing the living room, the way we usually do when we come to Ohio. One of us takes the couch and then there’s also a surprisingly comfortable air mattress. Tonight he’s on the couch and I’m on the air mattress. But I feel kind of bad because his feet hang off the end of the couch. When I told him that he said his feet hang off the end of the air mattress too. 

He’s asleep now, but earlier he was telling me that one of the first things he remembers after coming to live with us was when the whole family came for Christmas that year. Like he remembers other things, little things, but this is really clear to him. That Mama came and brought her dog Bob. 

I’ve never seen Declan so sad. I’m sad too, but somehow it hurts to see him so sad. Isn’t life hard enough?

July 7, 2041

We were supposed to go home today, but I went and woke my dads up last night after talking to Declan. I told them about how sad he was and that I think he needed to be cheered up.

Instead of going home, we’re going to Cedar Point today and tomorrow we’ll drive home. 

My dads are pretty amazing.


	32. Chapter 32

_January, 2042  
Kurt is 48, Blaine is 47, Addie is 17, and Declan is 15._

To: Matt, Julia  
From: Kurt  
Date: Jan 4, 2042 @ 8:07 am  
Subject: What do you think?

Blaine’s been pretty bummed lately, with good reason of course. Christmas was sort of a terribly sad affair. The first holidays without a parent are always hard. So I was thinking I’d like to cheer him up.

And it’s sort of an elaborate cheer up and I thought maybe you guys would like to get involved.

I was thinking we could go skiing. President’s week.

I know the kids have the week off, and it’ll be expensive and crowded because everyone skis President’s week, but it would be fun, wouldn’t it? I think it would really cheer him up.

To: Kurt  
From: Julia  
Date: Jan 4, 2042  
Subject: re: What do you think?

We’re in. 100%.

~~~~~

_A Moment of Matt_

We’ve taken the kids skiing in the past all together, but only for the day and it’s been years since we’ve even done that. Life gets in the way a lot. We do always find time to get together, but it’s rare that we all find time to get away. 

When Kurt proposed this getaway to Blaine, he definitely perked up. They have season passes to a ski resort in Pennsylvania, because Blaine really does love to ski, but this week will be special. We’re even going to take the trek back to Maine and we haven’t done that since the time we went in college. 

All of our kids are surprisingly solid skiers, though I suppose that’s what happens when you put them on skis before they’re old enough to be afraid. 

When we get to Kurt and Blaine’s house early Sunday morning, the four of them are all set. As usual, our kids want to randomize. I almost feel bad when the twins beg to drive with Blaine, but on the other hand, it’ll get them out of my hair for a little while.

And then Julia says that I should go with Blaine and she and Kurt will drive our SUV. 

I give her a dirty look but she just smiles. Glass half full, at least I don’t have to drive.

We’re just getting into Connecticut and the twins decide they need to go to the bathroom. And they mean immediately. 

Nearest rest stop, here we come!

_A moment of Declan_

I have no idea how this always happens, but I’m once again stuck sitting next to Jessa.

I don’t really know how to talk to her. She’s one of those girls that talks, and talks, and talks. And I try to say something but I always sound stupid. And I’m not stupid. I’m just awkward. I guess that’s all it is. 

And she’s practically like my cousin and it’s super weird and ridiculous for me to like her anyway.

Was that her hand? Did she just touch my thigh? What is even happening right now?

_A moment of Jessa_

I have the hugest crush on Declan. And I kind of want to tell him, but on the other hand I’d still have to see him all the time if he doesn’t like me. 

It’s weird for me to like him. I know it is. Because we spend so much time together as families. He probably thinks of me as a little sister.

But he’s just so cute. I like how he’s sort of quiet, but not weird quiet, serious quiet. And he’s smart and his hair isn’t as red as it used to be but it’s still a really pretty color. We used to be like best friends when we were kids. But he’s a year ahead of me in school, and it’s not like we go to the same school or anything, but he started seeming more than a year older than me. And now I pretty much worship the ground he walks on.

If my parents found out how I feel about him I would probably never hear the end of it.

Maybe if I brush his thigh.

_A moment of Addie_

I should have gone in the other car. Sitting between the twins in a crowded backseat would be easier than watching Jessa try to make a play for Declan while Dad and Julia jibber jabber in the front about how funny it was the time they went skiing in college and Dumdum hit Poop in the eye with his ski pole.

I’m going to daydream about the other car for a little while.

Oh look! It’s time for a rest stop.

_A moment of Julia_

Addie basically just somersaulted out of the car and ran inside. If she needed to use the restroom she should have said something. We would have stopped for her!

We all meet inside and by the time everyone’s done getting a drink or using the restroom somehow the seating arrangements get completed renegotiated.

_A moment of Declan_

How is that everyone else’s seats got entirely randomized and yet I am still sitting next to Jessa but in a different car? How?

_A moment of Jessa_

I probably shouldn't have body checked Miles out of the way so I could sit next to Declan. Now he suspects something. I need to chill out.

Be cool, Jessa. Maybe I should talk to Addie about this. 

_A moment of Addie_

After surviving the longest car ride on the planet yesterday, somehow I end up on the world’s longest ski lift with Jessa. 

Now, let me be frank. I love Jessa. She’s wonderful, she’s probably the least annoying 14 year old I’ve ever met. And that’s including Declan. I even found Declan annoying as a 14 year old. Hell, I found myself annoying as a 14 year old.

But Jessa is really cool.

Except for right this second because the ski lift has stopped and she is peppering me with questions about Declan. I’m not surprised she feels this way about him, I could tell. However I’m a little shocked she is speaking so freely at the moment. I mention this to her and she immediately starts begging me never to tell anyone in our families that she likes him.

I promise that I won’t. But let’s be real, I’m pretty sure Declan likes her too. But they’re just kids and they have long lives ahead of them. That will inevitably include a lot of barbecues and New Year’s Eves and family gatherings. And our families are always together for these things.

So, I beg her to be cool and don’t do anything embarrassing. Let’s see if she’s up to this challenge.

_A moment of Declan_

Jessa has not cornered me once during the past 24 hours, so I asked Addie about it. Because now I feel kind of weird and I don’t want Jessa to think that I don’t like her.

And Addie said that Jessa’s trying to be cool. I suppose this means that she does like me. 

I don’t think anyone has ever liked me before. I told Addie that and she said that it’s great but that I need to remember that if Jessa and I do anything and then decide we don’t like each other we are basically dooming ourselves for awkwardness for the rest of our lives.

I can’t argue with that.

So instead I just go ski with Alex, Miles, and my dad. And I try not to tease him too much about being about as good of a skier as a 10 year old. I try not to, but I end up teasing him anyway.

_A moment of Kurt_

If I fall down, Declan will never let me hear the end of it.

Just keep skiing, Kurt. Don’t let him see you sweat.

I fell down.

But at least I didn’t hit anyone! I call that progress.

_A moment of Matt_

Blaine and I are on the ski lift together for the millionth time during our week away. Kurt and Julia are staying lower on the mountain, in part because Kurt is still a pretty terrible skier when it comes down to it. And also because Julia feels like she needs to pay better attention to the kids. 

“So, you having a good time?” I ask Blaine as the lift rises.

“Yeah, I d-d-definitely am,” he replies.

“Are you lying to me for the sake of our friendship?”

“I am d-d-definitely not.” He takes a deep breath and blows it out slowly. “I really am feeling better about my mom. I mean. I’m not like … happy about it. Buh-buh-ut I’m okay. I swa-swa-ear.”

I nod and clap him on the shoulder. “I’m happy to hear that. But you don’t have to put up a front for me you know.”

He turns to me, his face serious. “If there’s one thing I-I-I know in this world, it’s that I don’t have to put up a, a, a front for you Matt.”

“Good.”

“Good,” he agrees.

There’s nothing quite like having the same best friend for almost 30 years. 

And then I remember there was something else I wanted to bring up to him.

“Have you noticed the kids being weird?”

_A moment of Blaine_

Something fishy is going on with the kids. After Matt mentioned it to me on the ski lift the other day, I’ve been keeping an eye on Addie in particular. She tends to be the ringleader of any type of youthful mutiny. She seems a bit shifty eyed.

I better tell Kurt. We don’t need any kind of shenanigans to ruin the end of our week.

_A moment of Kurt_

Blaine claims that something fishy is going on with the kids. I have to agree, but I told him that it would be way more fun if we ignore it and leave them to their own devices while we go for some apres ski cocktails with Matt and Julia since it was our last night at the resort. 

Everyone was game for this idea. Though Julia felt bad leaving Addie in charge of the twins again. Addie then coerced Julia into buying her a neon orange pair of ski socks. I can’t blame her. Those kids are crazy.

_A moment of Addie_

So, I take the twins into Matt and Julia’s bedroom and let them watch whatever they want on TV. They pick Die Hard, which is obviously highly inappropriate for 8 year olds, but at least it keeps them entertained. I make the twins promise not to tell their parents.

I go out to the kitchen at one point and find Jessa and Declan sitting on the couch. Not talking, not looking at each other. But the young teen love in the air is palpable. 

I think I might be jealous. There is no teen love in my own life. And it’s not so much that I’ve spent the entire week keeping them apart. I was just, … well, I guess I kind of spent the entire week trying to keep them apart. I’m bored! So sue me! But now I think I can make it up to them. Because looking at the two of them right now, they’re into each other. And it’s not fair of me to make them feel bad about being into each other.

I decide that I’ll get Miles and Alex out of the room and let Jessa and Declan have some privacy. They’re currently laying on the floor playing something on their handhelds. They’re not paying any attention to Declan and Jessa, but I know Jessa and Declan would be happier without the boys around.

“Miles, Alex,” I say. Everyone in the living room looks at me. “Um, do you guys want to come watch Die Hard in the bedroom with Even and Nathan?” I nod and smile, trying to lure the boys away.

They shrug and follow me back to the bedroom, where they both end up back on the floor, wrapped up in whatever game they were playing out in the living room. Before turning into the bedroom, I catch Declan’s eye and wink. He looks confused. 

_A moment of Jessa_

“That was weird,” I say, watching my brothers walk out of the room.

Declan nods and looks uncomfortable.

“Do you want me to put on closed captioning?” I ask, realizing that it hasn’t been on the whole time we’ve been watching TV.

“Oh, no, that’s okay. I can hear it. I haven’t really been paying attention anyway.”

I tuck my legs under me and turn towards him. “Okay, there’s something I really wanted to ask you.”

He sits up straighter and looks at me expectantly.

“Do you really hear better all the time?” I ask. When he doesn’t immediately say anything I feel like I need to keep talking. “I mean, I heard my dad say something to my mom about how you always hear better. Like they update your … software? Or something and then you hear better.”

He’s still quiet. 

“You don’t have to answer. We could just keep watching the movie. It’s not a big deal. Forget I asked.”

“No! No, I don’t mind. It’s like,” he pauses and smiles down at his hands. He scrunches up his nose. “It’s kind of boring.”

“I don’t think it’s boring,” I tell him.

He smiles. “Well, yeah, I do hear better every time they update the software. I hear better now than I ever have for sure. The technology is growing like crazy. There’s a way for them to pinpoint what part of my nerve isn’t receiving sound as well and then they can stimulate it a little bit to make my hearing more clear.”

“That sounds like it hurts,” I say.

“Oh, no, not at all. I don’t really feel any of it.”

“That’s awesome!” I say. “Is that why you don’t sign as much?”

“Yeah. We still sign a lot at home, because I don’t always have my transmitters on. Sometimes they’re just annoying to keep on. Sometimes I’m just not wearing them because, like, I don’t sleep in them or shower in them. I can’t swim in them. Someday maybe I’ll have waterproof ones, but for now they’re too expensive.”

I nod along. I think this is the most he’s said to me in the past year. “That’s so cool.” And I mean it. 

“Sometimes it’s just nice not to have to hear,” he says with a little grin.

I stop to think about this. “I kind of can’t imagine that. Might be nice especially with my brothers.”

He laughs and then shrugs. “Anyway, the thing about being able to hear better and better is that I can also hear that my voice is still a little weird. Like I know it doesn’t sound right. But I’m still working on that.”

I stare at him. “I think it sounds,” I stop and bite my lip. I can’t tell him that his voice is beautiful. That’s so lame.

“It’s okay, you can be honest,” he says.

“I like your voice,” I say. It’s not the full truth, but at least it’s positive.

He fidgets his fingers in his lap, and looks at me. He makes an uncomfortable face and shrugs again but he keeps looking at me.

So I lean over and kiss him. He doesn’t really kiss me back.

Addie’s going to be so mad at me.

_A moment of Declan_

“I’m sorry,” I say.

“Why are you sorry?” Jessa asks.

I don’t know why I’m sorry, so I don’t say anything.

“I never kissed anyone before,” she admits.

“Me either,” I say.

She slides away from me and sits on the other end of the couch and doesn’t say another word until our parents come home a half hour later. I can’t figure out if she likes it or not. Maybe we don’t have chemistry. Maybe kissing me was horrible and disgusting and she never wants to again.

But now I want to kiss her again and I have no idea what to do with myself.

Addie’s going to be so mad at us if things get awkward.

_A moment of Julia_

How on earth did Addie get those kids into bed before 10 pm? She is a magician. 

Declan and Jessa look guilty. I wonder what’s going on there.

Who cares? I’m going to take a nice long shower without children banging on the door every thirty seconds.


	33. Chapter 33

_Spring, 2043  
Kurt and Blaine are 49, Addie is 18, Declan is 16._

Blaine and Kurt do their best not to be the kind of parents that push Addie into going to the college that they want her to go, instead leaving most of the decision in her hands. Though they have to admit they’re thrilled when she decides to say somewhat nearby. All of her top choice schools are in the tri-state area.

She ends up picking Cornell and her fathers are impressed. And proud. She graduates 5th in her class of 300.

“You just couldn’t be valedictorian?” Kurt teases, looking at her dressed in her graduation gown, her honor society tassel on her mortarboard.

She gives him a dirty look.

“Now take one with Declan,” Blaine says. “Something for me to send to Pop s-s-since he couldn’t make it.” Blaine’s dad is doing alright, but he’s cut back on traveling since Michelle died. It’s a lot of work for him and he’s happy enough to have everyone come see him. He’s 84, and Blaine figures he deserves at least a few visits a year. And not to be made to feel bad for not visiting himself.

The ceremony is monotonous, as most graduation ceremonies are. Afterward there are more pictures to be taken, more hugs to be given, more promises of get togethers.

Kurt and Blaine try to make the most of the summer before Addie leaves for college. They go on family vacations, weekend trips here and there, and then spend a week in August in Myrtle Beach. Which was Addie’s choice. They’d been there when she was younger and she loved it.

When it’s time to go, all three of the men in her family are sad to see her leave. Blaine and Kurt tear up watching Declan and Addie hug goodbye. They know it’s just the start of the next phase of life for her, but for them it feels like something is starting to end. In a couple years Declan will leave too and then what will they have? They constantly remind themselves that they’ll still have each other, but it makes them feel like they really should have gone for the third.

A few weeks after Addie leaves, one Saturday morning Blaine finds Declan slumped at the kitchen table staring at his cell phone. Kurt’s out food shopping and Blaine was on his way into the basement to put in a load of laundry, but decides that can wait when he sees the forlorn expression on Declan’s face.

“What’s up, Dec?”

Declan shrugs.

“Anything I-I-I can help with?” Blaine asks, sitting down at the table across from Declan, making sure he’s in his eyeline. No matter how good Declan’s hearing gets, there are certain habits that are hard to break. 

“I needed some advice from Addie, but I don’t really want to bother her,” Declan says.

“Is it about how much your father and I-I-I embarrassed you the other d-d-day with Delia?” Blaine asks. “We really are sss-sorry about it. We’re … overly excitable. Nothing interesting is happening in our own lives at the moment.”

Declan blushes and rolls his eyes. “It’s a little bit of that. But,” Declan sighs. He makes him mouth a firm line and looks away.

“It’s cool. You don’t have to talk to me about it. Buh-buh-ut I’m around if you need me,” Blaine says. He heads down the stairs with the laundry basket, not even looking back, not wanting to pressure Declan into anything. Seconds later he hears Declan’s feet on the stairs and smiles as he’s putting the laundry into the washer.

Declan wanders over and leans against the dryer. Blaine stops what he’s doing and looks Declan in the eye, showing that he’s listening.

“This probably isn’t your forte,” Declan starts.

“What? Teen romance?” Blaine asks.

“Yeah, that and like, girls in general.”

“I have liked a girl or two in mmm-my long life.”

Declan raises his eyebrows in surprise.

“Obviously I never ssss-poke to them, because I was terrified of everyone in general as a kid, but I did like them.”

“How did you know you’re gay and not bi then?” Declan asks, hopping up on top of the dryer casually. “I mean, not to be too nosy, but this is pretty shocking news to me.”

Blaine smiles, feeling a warmth go through him that he has kids who feel comfortable enough to ask these kinds of questions. “Sometimes you just know. I’m also one of those people that b-b-b-believes sexuality can be sort of … fluid. That you don’t necessarily have to land p-p-perfectly at either end of the spa-spah-ectrum.”

“Fascinating,” Declan says, and Blaine can tell he means it.

“And even if I have no successful ‘dating girls’ stories in my p-p-past, I did coach Matt through several years of heterosexual re-re-relationships and I-I-I helped raise your sister and have some fairly recent experience dealing teenage girls.”

“I accept these credentials,” Declan says with a chuckle. Then he takes a deep breath. “Okay. So. Delia’s great.”

Blaine nods.

“But I don’t really like her that much. Not as much as she likes me I think. And I got caught up in the fact that she likes me and …” Declan trails off, shrugging.

“Well. Don’t lead her on. That’s not nice,” Blaine says.

“I don’t think I am, but I could be wrong.” Declan pauses, scratching his forehead. “I kind of messed up though and referred to her as my girlfriend when she isn’t.”

“You said it in front of her?”

“Yeah. I did. I introduced her to Dad as ‘my girlfriend Delia,’” Declan says and rolls his eyes. “I regret that. But Dad was looking at me, all crazy eyed weirdo, and I felt like I had to say something.”

“Crazy eyed weirdo?” Blaine asks, putting fingers quotes around the phrase. “I think I resent you r-r-r-referring to, to, to my husband like that.”

“Oh,” Declan says, his eyes going wide. “That’s what Addie and I call you guys when you act a certain way. When you’re being, like, uber-parents.”

Blaine makes a concerned face.

“You’re not helicopter parents or smother us or anything, but that’s just how we refer to a certain … mode you both get into.”

Blaine is still dubious.

“I swear it’s not a bad thing. We like you, and we appreciate your crazy eyed weirdness.”

“Alright, fine. I believe you.”

“Addie’s going to kill me though for telling you,” Declan mutters.

Blaine laughs. “Your funeral, man.”

“I guess I don’t know what to do now, and usually I would talk to Addie about it, because she’s sort of awesome when it comes to this stuff, but she’s not around.”

Blaine finishes sorting the laundry and hits the start button, gesturing for Declan to follow him upstairs, hoping to buy himself a few seconds to process this.

Once they get upstairs, Declan flings himself on the family room couch and Blaine takes the recliner.

“Anyway, now I don’t know how to basically break up with a girl that I never meant to be dating in the first place.”

“What has Delia s-s-s-said? Anything?”

Declan shrugs. “Not really.”

“Do you like her?”

“I like … someone else. But that’s not happening right now or possibly ever.”

Blaine’s intrigued but doesn’t ask any questions.

“So is there anything innately wrong with d-d-d-dating Delia?”

Declan makes a so-so hand gesture.

“Care to elaborate?”

Declan starts speaking and signing very fast, as though all of a sudden he has a hundred thoughts that can’t get out quickly enough.

“I like her, I do. But like I said I like someone else and they don’t like me. And Delia’s great and I like that she signs because sometimes I still express myself better that way than any other way. And like … she likes being around me. Her hair smells nice. She’s nice, I have fun with her. She doesn’t seem to think I’m too weird, or too much of a loser, or that even though my voice and my speech aren’t perfect she acts like I’m okay. ”

Blaine opens his mouth to respond, but Declan cuts him off.

“You don’t have to say it. I know I’m okay. That doesn’t mean that all teenage girls know I’m okay.”

Blaine nods, not necessarily wanting to agree with anything disparaging about his son, but failing to be able to come up with a decent argument in these five seconds about how he’s perfect and wonderful and everyone loves him. Blaine is well aware of the way teenagers jump to conclusions. Sometimes grown-ups jump to conclusions. None of this is news to him.

“Let me ask you this,” Blaine starts. Declan nods encouragingly. “What w-w-would Addie tell you?”

“I really don’t know,” Declan admits.

“Call her,” Blaine says. “Or text her, or mmm-message her, or whatever it is you two do.”

“But …”

“Get in touch with her. She won’t mmm-mind. And you can even tell her that I-I-I told you to call her.”

Declan nods, hauling himself off the couch and heading upstairs.

~~~~~

Addie?

Declan! I’m so happy you’re calling.

Really?

Why is no one calling me? Why do I get like maybe one text message a day? Doesn’t anyone miss me?

Um, yeah. We all miss you. But poop and dumdum keep saying they don’t want to bother you.

Don’t you think bothering me would be better than making me feel like no one cares?

I don’t think they’ve considered that.

Try to imply that to them, without coming right out and saying it. I don’t want them to know that I know what they’re doing. I want them to bother me of their own accord, like the normal crazy eyed weirdos that they are.

[Declan laughs.]

So, is there any particular reason that you’re quote/unquote “bothering” me now or is this a social call...

~~~~~

Declan feels 100% better after talking to Addie. Since he does kind of like Delia, he might as well hang out with her for now. There’s nothing that says he has to marry her just because they date for a couple months. When he’s completely honest with himself, he really does like her, it’s Jessa’s fault though that he’s hesitant.

Because he really thought something was going to happen with him and Jessa and it never did. He knows they’re young or whatever, and that any kind of relationship they started would have been ridiculous.

But.

He likes her. And it sucks.

Later on that evening, Declan comes downstairs to find his dads watching TV. Well, Kurt’s watching TV, Blaine is asleep in the recliner. He’s snoring lightly and might even be drooling a bit. Kurt’s on the couch, but he sits up and pats the cushion next to him.

“Hey!” Kurt whispers, not wanting to disturb Blaine. “I feel like I haven’t seen you all day!”

“You saw me at dinner,” Declan says, sitting down next to him.

“Oh, yeah. That. We didn’t really get to talk though. Are you okay?”

Declan nods and pats his dad’s knee. “I’m good. I promise.”

“Poop said,” Kurt starts, gesturing towards Blaine, who makes a snuffling noise in his sleep and attempts to roll onto his side, even as the recliner tries to close on him. Kurt shakes his head at his husband’s sleeping behavior.

“I talked to Addie, I feel better.”

“Good, good.” Kurt pauses. “You don’t ever have to say what you think I want to hear.”

Declan chews his lip, knowing that his dad is referring the Delia/girlfriend fiasco. “I know.”

“And I’m sorry if I was being a crazy eyed weirdo.”

Declan snorts. “It’s not a bad thing! I swear!”

“Still.” Kurt shrugs. “This is a good time to remind you that you can always talk to us about absolutely anything. We make no promises that we’ll keep it secret from each other, but we won’t ever tell the rest of the world.”

Declan shrugs. He’s pretty sure if he told his dads about how much he likes Jessa they would barely be able to contain themselves for even a minute before running off to talk to Matt and Julia about it.

“What?” Kurt prods.

“Nothing.”

“You made a face.”

“I make lots of faces.”

“You do indeed,” Kurt agrees.

Declan remains quiet, looking at the TV. He smiles when he notices that his dads have the closed captioning on. Somehow that’s what home means to him. That even when he’s not right there, they’re still thinking about him.

Kurt puts his arm around Declan. It’s awkward for a second, like his dad forgot how tall Declan is, but then Declan adjusts his position a bit and it suddenly feels right. Like what he really needed in this world was a little affection from his dad. Kurt squeezes his shoulders.

“I’m sorry there’s a girl that doesn’t like you as much as you like her.”

Declan sighs. He’s going to have work harder on forgetting her. That’s his only choice.

“We like you a lot, you know,” Kurt says, when Declan doesn’t answer.

“I know.”

“We love you always, but we like you a lot.”

“We like you Declan,” Blaine mumbles sleepily from recliner, giving him a thumbs up, but keeping his eyes closed.

“Guys, I know. I swear. You picked me out like I was meant for you. Like I was the cutest puppy in the box.”

Blaine sits up in the recliner and comes over to sit on the other side of Declan.

“You really were the cutest puppy in the box,” Blaine tells him.

“And no matter what else, you have us,” Kurt says.

“Dudes,” Declan says, smiling when he sees how much his dads are smiling. “I know! I really, really know. This is just dumb high school stuff. I’m not actually all that upset about it. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, particularly Delia’s because I do like her, but this is really, really, really not that big of a deal. I don’t need all of these … affirmations.”

“Okay,” Blaine says.

“It’s always a good time to tell you how much we love you,” Kurt says.

“You guys are so embarrassing,” Declan says, dropping his head in his hands.

“No we’re not,” Blaine says. “We’re awesome.”

“We’re so awesome. You can’t even comprehend our awesomeness.”

“You’re crazy eyed weirdos,” Declan says.

“Well yeah, that too, we can’t help that,” Kurt says.


	34. Chapter 34

_May, 2044  
Kurt and Blaine are 50, Addie is 19, Declan is 17._

Blaine’s 50th birthday falls on Memorial Day, but Kurt decides to surprise him with a big barbecue the Saturday before. And Blaine is very, very surprised. He figured they would do something low key and simple. Maybe he would be able to convince Kurt to go into the city. He wasn’t worried. He knew they would find a great way to celebrate, they always do.

When he gets back from Home Depot, he’s very surprised by the sheer number of cars lining their normally quiet street. And how quickly Kurt got them here in the hour he and Addie were gone.

Addie can’t stop grinning.

“Oh no,” Blaine breathes out, pulling into the driveway.

“Oh, yes,” Addie says.

“How many people?” Blaine asks, turning towards her.

“About 50 or 60?”

Blaine shakes his head.

He and Addie go into the cool quiet of the front foyer and Kurt’s in the kitchen waiting for him with a mischievous grin.

“You’ve probably figured it out,” Kurt says.

Blaine kisses him instead of responding right away. “Thank you,” he says when he pulls back. “I’m just going to change out my r-r-r-rattiest t-shirt and into something a little mmmm-more presentable.”

Kurt waits for him to come back down and then go out the back door together, eliciting a small cheer from the crowd of familiar faces. His friends from work are there, along with one or two from previous jobs. A lot of their neighbors are there, and even more of their friends. Matt and Julia are there of course, and DiDi and Ben, Rachel and Puck, Tina, Chad, Sam and Erin. The list goes on and on. Burt and Carole. Finn and Kristin, Cooper and Katinka. Everybody’s kids. And then he sees his dad.

He hasn’t seen his dad since Christmas. And he’s at that point in his life where every time he sees him, he can’t help but wonder if it’s going to be the last. But today, his dad looks good. Even though he’s leaning heavily on a cane, Blaine knows he wouldn’t be here if he didn’t feel entirely up to it.

He makes a beeline for his father, wrapping him in a hug, squeezing a little too tight.

“How’s it going old man?” his dad asks, patting his back.

“Oh, just fine,” Blaine says, honestly. “Better than fine.”

His dad winks at him and finds a spot in the shade where he sits and chats the afternoon away with Burt and Carole and the older people from their neighborhood. Kurt tells him that Greg will be staying with them for a few days, so Blaine has plenty of time to talk to him later.

After making sure his dad is settled, Blaine goes around giving hugs and handshakes to everyone.

The afternoon goes by quickly with good food, including plenty of chicken dishes, and friends and red velvet cake. The weekend flies by and Blaine enjoys that even more, getting to spend time with smaller groups of people that he doesn’t get to see very often. They go for lunch with Ben and DiDi, they spend a day at the beach with Finn, Kristin, Cooper, Katinka, Burt and Carole and Greg.

All too soon it’s Tuesday and Blaine heads back to work while the rest of the family heads back to Ohio.

The week drags on and when Blaine gets home from work Friday afternoon he’s surprised that Kurt’s already there.

“I decided to take a half day,” Kurt says.

“That’s nice, what’s the occasion?”

“Well, Declan’s going to Pennsylvania for the weekend with Jack’s family and Addie’s going down the shore with her friends. I figured it would be nice to get in some quality time.”

“Quality time,” Blaine says with a devilish grin.

“A good dinner, maybe a couple drinks, maybe a little something more later,” Kurt drawls. “Just you and me, we haven’t had any time for us lately.”

“I-I-I can handle that,” Blaine says.

“And since it’s still your birthday week, it’s your choice.”

“Kurt, I’m 50, I don’t have a b-b-birthday week.”

“Sure you do! Besides, you’re always worth celebrating.”

“Oh man, the cheese mmm-meter just went sky high,” Blaine says, pulling Kurt closer to him.

“You know you like it,” Kurt says.

“Can we go to the shitty towny b-b-bar for karaoke and buffalo w-w-wings?” Blaine asks after kissing Kurt long and deep.

Kurt’s shoulders droop. “Fine.”

Blaine lets out a whoop and a fist pump.

“I’m gonna go change into something less professional and mmm-more towny,” Blaine says over his shoulder as he runs up the stairs.

Kurt rolls his eyes. Though the buffalo wings at the towny bar really are fantastic.

The two men walk the mile to the bar so that neither of them have to be the designated driver. And once there, they commence getting rip roaring drunk.

It’s easy to get caught up in the atmosphere. Both men know a few people in the bar from around town and everyone is having a great time singing karaoke and drinking themselves under the table. They order a drink each when they enter, and sign up to sing a duet. Those first drinks go down easy and before they know it, they’re on their second. And then their third. And then they lose count entirely. They’re both aware they’re going to pay for it in the morning, but at the moment it’s just too much fun.

“I dunno the last time I was this drunk,” Kurt says, more than once. “When was the last time I was this drunk?”

They work hard on trying to remember, each spitting out moments from farther and farther in the past. Until Kurt decides it was the night Julia’s vodka was lonely.

“That was so long ago!” Kurt wails, doing another shot. Then he gets on stage and sings a lovely rendition of Everday by Buddy Holly. Kurt prances and preens and sings his heart out, and Blaine sits and watches and smiles like it’s the best thing he’s ever seen. And in some ways it really is.

They don’t sing much after that, having more fun watching other people try to sing and laughing good naturedly at their efforts. For the first time in years, they’re at a bar for closing time and then they start to make their long drunken journey home.

“I’m pretty sure I haven’t been this drunk since Matt’s 21st birthday,” Blaine says as they stumble home. They have their arms around each other’s waists. The town they live in is quiet at 2:30 in the morning and Blaine tries to keep his voice down as much as possible.

“Nope,” Kurt disagrees, smacking his lips together.

“Nope?”

“You were way drunker at Puck and Rachel’s rehearsal dinner.”

“Oh, that was a terrible night.”

“That was a terrible night,” Kurt agrees, pausing and swaying a bit. “But after that. After that,” he pauses staring at the sky. “So many stars tonight.”

Blaine kisses his jaw.

“After that, everything was perfect,” Kurt says, and then hums at the feeling of Blaine’s scruff on his neck.

“Come on, we’re so close to home,” Kurt says, dragging Blaine by the hand down their street. “We need to get home.”

Kurt wants more than anything to get Blaine home and to ravish him immediately once they have the privacy. They stumble another half a block closer and they can actually see their house now, but instead they stand in the sidewalk and make out for 10 minutes. They’re only roused from that state by headlights coming fast down the street.

“That was dangerous looking,” Blaine says seriously as they watch the car pass them.

“Very dangerous looking,” Kurt agrees.

Once they’re on the walkway leading to their front door, Blaine can feel it now too, pulsing under his skin. This desperate need to be as close as Kurt as possible.

They make out under the porch light for a minute, Blaine’s hands traveling under Kurt’s shirt.

“Inside, inside,” Kurt mutters into Blaine’s mouth.

Blaine ignores him and dips his hands into Kurt jeans.

“Blaine!”

Blaine startles.

“We need to go inside!”

“Yes, yes, you’re right.”

The house is dark and cool and silent when they enter it. They go into the kitchen and rummage for some drunk food, eating everything they can get their hands on. They cut a swath through the chips and cookies.

“Drink water,” Kurt admonishes. “Maybe it’ll help with the hangover.”

Blaine takes his advice but giggles as he chews on a stick of string cheese. And then he sucks on it, looking at Kurt flirtatiously.

“Are you trying to seduce me with string cheese?”

“Maybe? Is it w-w-working?” Blaine asks.

Kurt walks over and sucks on the end of it, before biting it off and going in search of crackers.

“We really are puh-puh-pretty weird,” Blaine says thoughtfully, chewing his end of the cheese.

“We are, but I like it.”

Kurt leans on the kitchen table and Blaine moves closer.

Kurt finds himself flat on his back on the table moments later, Blaine above him, kissing his throat and prying up the bottom of Kurt’s shirt.

Within seconds they’re both shirtless, and kissing hard, tongues working furiously as though trying to suck the other up.

Blaine’s rutting against Kurt, drunk and looking for friction for his hard on. Kurt ruts right back, bucking wildly, panting.

“We should do this more often,” Blaine says as Kurt sucks a hickey just below his collarbone.

“I agree. I forgot how much fun this can be when you’re drunk.”

“This is like the mm-most fun I’ve had in forever.”

“Why are we talking so much?” Kurt asks as he fumbles for the button on Blaine’s pants, drawing them down.

“Mmmm. Less talking, good idea.”

Kurt moves up the table and Blaine straddles him further. The table is sturdy beneath them and they lose themselves. 

When they came into the kitchen they didn’t turn the overhead light on, just the smaller counter lamp, so when the light above them switches on, they’re both startled out of their reverie.

Kurt blinks up at Blaine in the harsh glow.

“Naked butt!” a voice shrieks. A familiar voice.

Blaine blinks back down at Kurt and makes a face.

“Oh. My. God,” the voice says from the kitchen doorway.

“Why is Addie here?” Blaine asks Kurt, his voice rising in panic, as he tries to pull his falling pants back up over his ass.

“I have no idea.”

“Oh, god, oh, no,” she mutters from the doorway.

“Maybe we should ask her?”

“Addie my love, why are you here?” Kurt says, hiding his eyes behind his hand. Blaine peeks over his shoulder from his spot on top of Kurt.

“I … I …” Addie mumbles, pinching the bridge of her nose and going practically catatonic.

One might assume that the shock of having their 19 year old daughter walk in on them in the midst of foreplay in the kitchen would have sobered them up, but it didn’t. If anything they both feel more drunk.

Blaine slides off of Kurt and holds himself so that maybe, just maybe she won’t notice his boner. And at the thought of the word boner, his extremely drunken self begins giggling.

“You said boner,” Kurt whispers, leaning over towards Blaine. Then they giggle harder because Blaine didn’t even realize he had been thinking out loud.

“Fathers!” Addie shouts, suddenly serious.

They stand up straight and Kurt brings his shirt up in front of his chest.

“Are you high?” she asks.

“No, no, no, no, no, not high. Drunk. But, no, not high. No, no, no,” Blaine says.

“Is that enough no’s Dad?” Addie asks.

“Um, no. We’re not high.” He glances over at Kurt and giggles again. “Why are you holding your shirt like you have bah-boobs?”

Kurt snorts and then they’re both cracking up all over again.

Addie whistles loudly through her teeth the way Julia taught her and her fathers go silent again.

“Sorry, Addie,” Kurt says.

“Yeah, we’re sorry, Addie,” Blaine repeats.

She sighs and rubs her face.

“Why are you here?” Kurt asks.

“I live here,” she says.

“But like,” Blaine pauses, blinking not because he’s going to stutter but because suddenly the room is spinning. He takes a deep breath and attempts to find his train of thought, gripping the edge of the table for balance. “But, but, but you were going to sss-something. Or somewhere?” He looks at Kurt for help, but Kurt shrugs.

“The hotel we got down the shore was terrible and damp and moldy and we didn’t feel like staying so I had Lydia drop me off here. I left a note,” she says, holding up a note from the kitchen counter that was covered with the boys’ detritus from their late night drunken binge. “Letting you know that I was home and safe and in my room.”

They nod seriously; Blaine squints at the note even though he obviously isn’t going to be able to read it at this distance.

“I did not expect to come down to the kitchen at 3:22 am and find my fathers humping each other on our kitchen table. That was not something I expected.” She punctuates each word of the last sentence with a clap of her hands. Her voice is dripping with condescension, though quite frankly Kurt and Blaine are so drunk they don’t even notice.

Blaine tries really hard to be serious but every time he looks at Kurt he starts giggling all over again.

“Well, obviously you boys were out celebrating, so this isn’t going to get us anywhere tonight.”

They nod.

“I’m going to bleach my brain and then go back to bed. I would appreciate it if the two of you could keep it down a bit.”

“We could pretend this never happened,” Kurt offers, swaying on his feet.

“That’s probably a good idea,” Addie agrees. “Please, pretty please, don’t ever let me catch you like this again. It’s … too much.” She walks up the stairs, shaking her head somberly.

~~~~~

There’s a sharp rap on their bedroom door the next morning.

Blaine rolls over and checks the time.

It’s not actually morning anymore. It’s 12:07 pm.

“Wha?” he mumbles.

“Does that mean come in, or are you boys indisposed again?” Addie says from the door.

“We’re asleep Addie,” Kurt says.

She opens the door and peeks in at them.

They sit up, both of them dizzy and hungover.

“I know we said we wouldn’t discuss what happened last night ever again,” Addie begins.

“What happened last night,” Kurt repeats, his eyes going hazy and then wide at the memory.

“Oh, no,” Blaine groans, shaking his head. “No.”

“Yes,” Addie says.

Blaine pulls the sheet over his head and hides.

Addie moves further into the room. Kurt takes a deep breath, steeling himself.

“I really wanted to make sure you were okay. That you didn’t do anything dumb. You didn’t drive like that right?”

“No, honey, of course not,” Kurt answers. “And we both said it was the drunkest we’ve been in probably 25 or 30 years. It’s not a regular thing for us.”

“And it’s not going to be a r-r-r-regular thing,” Blaine says from under the sheet where he’s huddled. “I feel terrible today.”

“Okay, good. I guess I was worried a little bit. Beyond needing to bleach my brain since I walked in on my parents like that, I was worried that maybe you started drinking a lot in my absence, since you miss me so much,” she says, her voice taking on a teasing tone the longer she speaks. “I mean, I know how important I am to you both, it would make sense that you turned to booze in my absence.”

Blaine stands up from the bed, keeping the sheet over him and stumbles towards Addie to give her a hug.

“Thanks for the hug, ghost Dad,” she says.

Blaine pulls the sheet off his face, but leaves it draped around his shoulders. “We’ll try to be on our b-b-best behavior while you’re home this ssss-summer.”

“Yeah, we forgot that people can actually hear us. We’re used to Declan not hearing during the middle of the night,” Kurt explains.

“Well, believe you me, Declan will be hearing about this. Misery loves company.”

“I suppose we can accept that,” Kurt says.

“Damn straight you’ll accept it,” Addie says. “Now, I’m going downstairs and I’m making pancakes.”

“With buh-buh-blueberries?” Blaine asks, hopefully.

“Sure. Even though you don’t deserve blueberries.”

“Oh, Addie, we always deserve blueberries,” Kurt says.

She rolls her eyes and heads downstairs. The crazy eyed weirdos are at again.


	35. Chapter 35

_Labor Day Weekend, 2013- Back to the start...  
A moment of Michelle_

Blaine is quiet next to me for the entire plane ride to New York. I try to think of things to say to him, some way to calm his nerves, but I can’t. I can’t even begin to imagine what he’s feeling in this moment.

Because even through his quiet, all of his anxieties are flashing in quick succession across his face. But then he takes out a folded up piece of paper. I try not to peak too much, but I do notice that it’s from Cooper. 

I smile to myself; I have a feeling whatever Cooper says will help Blaine a thousand times more than the trite platitudes I was devising.

After we land and go through baggage claim, he goes practically catatonic at the curb while I hail a taxi. 

I wonder again how he’s going to manage everything. Going to college, living with someone he’s never met, being in an unfamiliar city, having to make his way around, talk to people. His reticence is so deep rooted these days. It’s only gotten worse as he’s aged. And he gets by okay even though he barely ever speaks. But it’s the things that I know he can’t do that worry me the most. He would have never hailed a cab. He still has me make all of his phone calls, if he needs to cancel an appointment with Paula, or if he needed to change his work schedule.

How is he going to do this?

I brought it up to Greg last night. I’ve brought it up to Greg a hundred times actually, from the moment Blaine first mentioned that he wanted to go to college in New York. He said he thinks Blaine will be just fine. And if he’s not just fine he’ll come home. I don’t want the kid to feel like he’s failed though.

We’re stuck in traffic now and I’m pretty sure I haven’t heard him say a word since Ohio. He looks like he’s about to have a panic attack.

“You okay bud?” I ask.

He’s quiet for a moment and I think maybe he’ll just nod and not give me a real answer when he takes a deep breath and says, “I, I’ve bbbeen b—better.”

He blinks hard and what I’d really like to do is pull him into a long hug in the back of this taxi. Instead I take his hand and give it a squeeze. I want to say something, but I don’t want to … overwhelm him, or make him feel like he doesn’t have any options. But I also want him to know that I believe him. 

I don’t think I tell him nearly enough that I believe in him. That I’m so proud of him.

“You chose this Blaine,” I start. I don’t want him to think I’m yelling at him, I don’t want to make him feel bad, but he needs to know that he’s responsible for his actions and decisions. ”Own your choice. You don’t have to be here, and no one will think any less of you if it doesn’t work out. I don’t know what Cooper said in his letter, but I want to say that you need to try.”

He pulls his hand away at that and hunches in on himself. He nods and blinks and looks like he might cry. That was not my purpose. I try another tactic, hoping to make him understand what I’m saying.

“Take it day by day,” I continue, “And then week by week. I know you can do this Blaine. And I’m very proud of you.”

I must not tell him that I’m proud of him enough, because he whips his head up at me and looks me square in the eye. A smile so pure and delighted that I know in my very bones that he’s going to do his very best. He’s going to overcome every obstacle thrown at him and he will not just survive, but succeed.

When we get to his dorm I make sure to introduce him to his resident advisor so he doesn’t have to deal with saying his name. After that, I help him settle in and then excuse myself to go check into the hotel and freshen up. He seemed like he needed some time to himself to get acclimated. And I figure his roommate should arrive soon.

I try to nap at the hotel, but all I can think about is how different life will be when I get back home tomorrow. Blaine’s a quiet kid, he doesn’t make much mess, he doesn’t make a lot of noise, but he’s not a ghost. He has a weight and a presence in our household that I’m going to miss so very much. 

I’ll start selling more houses, giving more piano lessons; spend more time with my sister and my dad. I have ways to fill my life. It’ll all work out.

I try to push the next thought away, but it gets me anyway.

Without him there, maybe it’s time for me to leave too.

I’m so tired of Greg’s crap. I’m tired of his attitude and his fake arrogance and his desperate need to be in control in front of me, the person who knows him best. I’m tired of his facade and I’m tired of the way he treats me.

On the other hand, maybe an empty nest will rekindle what once was. It’s a big maybe, but I want to be hopeful. 

No napping happens and soon enough it’s time to head back over to Blaine’s dorm. I straighten my hair and change into the skirt I brought along with me. I never get to go to New York, so I figured if I was having dinner in the city with my son, I might as well wear something nice. I walk back towards campus. The evening is really quite gorgeous and I feel untethered in a way I never do in Ohio.

There’s something about this moment that makes me want to try. With my marriage, with my career, with my life. I’m going home and I’m going to try, just like I told Blaine he needs to try, so do I.

When I get to his dorm, he introduces me to his roommate Matt, and I’m honestly taken aback by how happy he seems. How at home and comfortable it seems like this boy makes him. 

We invite Matt to go out for dinner with us, but he begs off, saying that his family is coming back later too.

Blaine talks without a filter at dinner, asking if we can stop someplace for him to pick up a guitar stand, telling me about how many siblings Matt has, saying that he already likes his dorm room more than he expected.

When we walk back to his dorm and say goodbye, I keep my tears in. My flight is early tomorrow morning, so there’s no point in me waking him up. I regret not staying longer, taking in the city, but when I made the reservations I was mostly bitter that Greg couldn’t be bothered to come with us. That when I suggested we drive Blaine out to school he acted like it was the biggest imposition I could have ever thought of.

I get back to the hotel and cry myself to sleep.

And the next day, I get home and I kiss my husband on the cheek.

He looks surprised.

But I’m going to try.

~~~~~

_Labor Day Weekend, 2045  
Blaine and Kurt are 51, Addie is 20, Declan is 18._

It’s the Friday before Labor Day and it’s time to drop Declan off at college. Addie’s been gone all summer, having found a job and an off campus apartment with friends. But that doesn’t stop her from wanting to go with the family to drop Declan off.

“We’re leaving tomorrow mmm-morning and ssssss-pending the night at a, a, a, a hotel be, be, be, b-b-because Declan has to be there at 10 am on, on, on Sunday,” Blaine tells her when she calls to ask them to pick her up. He’s glad it’s just Addie on the phone. He can’t seem to get his speech under control at the moment. “And b-b-because we don’t feel like dah-drah, d-driving ten hours in the course of one d-d-d-day.”

“That’s fine,” Addie replies.

“No sssss-trings?”

“Well,” Addie says, her voice lilting. “Does the hotel have a pool?”

“Yes.”

“You could also take me out for an elegant breakfast at IHOP.”

“Since when d-d-d-do you like IHOP?”

“I’ve always liked IHOP.”

“That’s false,” Blaine says.

“Fine, my tastes have unmatured. My palette is less sophisticated,” she admits.

“This from the girl who at 4 r-r-r-refused to move out of Bah-bah-rooklyn.”

“I can’t help it. Living in New Jersey all those years has practically made me a hick,” she says. “Now put Dumdum on the phone so I can explain to him that we’re going to IHOP whether he likes it or not.”

Blaine chuckles to himself and can’t wait to pick her up the next day.

Unlike Addie, Declan knew where he wanted to go for years. From the moment he learned that there was such a thing as mechanical engineering, and that he could major in it, that was all he wanted. And when he learned there was a program for the deaf through Rochester Institute of Technology, there was no further need for discussion. Because even though Declan functions well in the hearing world, a program with an emphasis on the hearing impaired will be nothing but a leg up for him.

Blaine thinks about his mom almost every day. He’s not sure he thought about her this much when she was alive, but days like today, driving Declan to college, dropping him off, saying goodbye, Blaine can’t help but remember doing the same with his mom. He wonders how she felt leaving him in New York all by himself. Was she worried? What was she thinking?

He’s sad that he never thought to ask.

What he remembers so clearly about that day was being shocked when she said she was proud of him. He was so shocked it rattled his very foundation. Between that and Cooper’s letter and the hug from his father, Blaine felt like his send off to college was perfect.

He wants to make sure Declan has the same kind of memories to look back on.

The difference is, he’s sure Declan knows exactly how loved he is, how proud his parents are of him, how much they’re going to miss him.

It doesn’t keep Blaine and Kurt from repeating it to him the whole way to Rochester.

Declan’s happy when Addie gets in the car and discussion turns to her nail polish color.

They get to the hotel and the kids head right to the pool. Because somehow, even at 18 and 20, they’re still very much kids. Blaine and Kurt join them, but after getting dunked countless times, Kurt decides to go sit in a lounge chair.

The next morning, they take Addie out for her elegant IHOP breakfast.

Declan is quiet, nervous, checking the time over and over again.

“I just don’t want to be late,” he says, when Kurt teases him about it.

“Dec, it’s okay, we have plenty of time,” Kurt tells him.

Declan nods and sucks on the straw of his chocolate milk.

The drop off part of the day is quick and to the point. After about an hour of hauling Declan’s belongings in from the car, it seems like it’s time to go. His resident advisor says they have a lot of activities planned for the rest of the day. Ice breakers and floor meetings, a barbecue for incoming freshmen.

The goodbyes are impossible.

Blaine has another fleeting thought of his mother’s face as she hugged him in his dorm room that day. It’s an emotion that’s hard to put your finger on as a parent. It’s happy and proud and so very sad.

Melancholy.

Wistful.

Though somehow also satisfied and maybe even a bit relieved.

Blaine hugs Declan with all his might. Even though Declan is nearly half a foot taller than Blaine, he’s still his little boy. Blaine tells him again how proud he is. Declan’s eyes fill with tears and he squeezes back. Turning then and doing the same with Kurt, who kisses the side of his head and pats his back and keeps his mouth shut for fear of actual sobs escaping.

Addie is also near tears, but she holds herself together a little better, hugging Declan and telling him that she’s just a phone call and a car ride away if he needs her. 

And then the three of them leave.

Declan stands alone in his room and spins in a slow circle, hoping and waiting for his very own Matt to walk through the door any minute.

Out in the quad in front of Declan’s dorm, Addie puts her arms through both of her father’s.

No one says a word until they’re back to the car.

Addie’s in the backseat and she leans in between her dads, who are both scrubbing their faces with tissues.

“I think we should go have an elegant lunch at IHOP,” she suggests.

They both can’t help but let out a watery laugh.

“Or Cracker Barrel. I’ll leave the choice up to you,” Addie continues.

She leans back against the seat and puts her earbuds then, knowing instinctively that her dads might need a few minutes to themselves.

Blaine’s chin quivers as he starts the car. 

Kurt puts a finger underneath it and turns his head, and kisses Blaine softly.

“How did we do this?” Blaine asks.

“Do what?”

“End up here, in this place, with these kids?”

Kurt laughs, knowing exactly how Blaine’s feeling. 

“Well it all started with a …” Kurt trails off, trying to think of where it really all starts. 

“It’s funny,” Blaine says, almost like he’s reading Kurt’s mind. “I don’t know where our story b-b-begins.”

“Well, it certainly doesn’t end here,” Kurt tells him. “In this terribly depressing parking lot.”

“No,” Blaine agrees. “And it’s not going to end with an elegant lunch at IHOP.”

Addie hinges forward and plucks out her earbuds. She hadn’t really been paying much attention to what they were saying, but she knows they’re forlorn.

“Just think,” she tells them, her eyes wide, gesturing like a game show hostess. “Now you can go home and have all the kitchen table sex you could ever dream of.”

Kurt leans over the seat to swat Addie with a magazine. He turns around and Blaine smiles at him sheepishly, making Kurt smile sheepishly back. It doesn’t sound like a terrible plan.

Blaine leans over and plants a kiss on Kurt’s cheek.

“Love you, Dumdum.”

“Love you, too, Poop.”

And they drive away.


	36. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I should write a really long note here, but nobody reads these things anyway. Mostly I want to say thanks for reading and for being awesome and for all of your kind messages and comments and fic recs and I'm getting all emotional, so just go read the darn thing. <3

_Spring, 2070  
A Moment of Addie_

I’ve spent a long time trying to convince my parents that it’s time for them to move out of the old house and into something more manageable, something with fewer stairs. But of course it takes Poop needing a double knee replacement before they decide I’m right.

We’ve spent months now looking for just the right place for them. I kept telling them that it’s not that they need to go into an old age home or something, just a condo or a smaller house with less to take care of. We found a beautiful little bungalow in a lake community in North Carolina. When we started talking about this, I didn’t expect them to decide to move away. But that’s the way it goes sometimes. At least it’s not Florida.

Today I’ve been given the job of going through the boxes in the attic.

Of course it’s about 800 degrees up here. Even though the temperature is nearly brain melting, I still manage to have plenty of time to think.

I’ve been in a rut lately. A super rut lately. I love my husband, and I love our kids. They’re getting older now and I think I’m going to have to go back to work. I spent so many years trying to be a writer. And I am a writer in a lot of ways, but I’ve never become the writer that I want to be.

I’m going to end up teaching high school English, I can feel it.

Not that there’s anything wrong with teaching high school English, I admonish myself. I loved it for the 10 years I did it before having kids. And I love these years I got to spend at home thanks to Tom making enough to support us. But I want more. And my daughter Michelle is going to be heading off to college in a few years and we’re going to need my income. So it's going to be back to teaching for me this September.

I continue digging around in boxes, not thinking much of anything, humming songs. I find a picture here and there of Declan at baseball practice or my college graduation or both of us with Matt’s kids at the beach. I smile thinking about the years these photographs spent hung on the refrigerator. No one prints pictures anymore. It’s quaint and nostalgic. I put them aside, wanting to make sure I bring them down to show my dads.

And then I find a large box labeled “Poopdum” with an infinity sign under it. This looks worth investigating.

The box is filled the brim. At the very top, there’s a frame with four photographs. I can’t believe how young my parents look. Sometimes I forget how long they’ve been together.

In these pictures, they’re sitting on a couch in what I’m pretty sure is my dad’s old apartment that he shared with Rachel. And in each photograph they’re making such consummate Poop and Dumdum expressions. It’s really quite remarkable. There’s one where they’re both looking in opposite directions but making very similar faces and then one where Dumdum’s looking at Poop and Poop is smiling at something on the coffee table. Another where Poop is side-eyeing Dumdum while Dumdum is falling over laughing and one where they’re looking at each other, both tight-lipped but moments away from laughing.

I smile just looking at them.

I put the frame back in the box and close it up. Then I take the box downstairs and put it in my car. They won’t miss it and I’ll make sure it gets back to them. I want to bring it home and really take my time going through it.

Later that night, after the kids are in bed and my husband’s busy with something on TV, I go through the box thoroughly. I find letters and notes and more photographs. There’s a huge stack of printouts of IM conversations and emails, with dates from the summer of 2014. There are more photographs and a flash drive and the notebook with the notes from their first date that I’m familiar with from way back when. But the more I dig, the more I find.

A stack of sheet music all titled “The Tuna Salad Song,” a brochure from the Coney Island Aquarium. Little trinkets, a handful of red moleskin notebooks that I remember Poop always writing in. I flip through one of them and find a note from January of 2038 that says, “The kids have formed an alliance, be very afraid.”

I stick the flashdrive into my computer and find a ton of files, mostly of my dad playing music, one of him reading what sounds like Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. The best file is a video of him and Matt singing a vaguely familiar song while Matt plays the ukelele.

By the time I make it through the box I’m laughing and crying to myself, and realize I’ve been going through it for hours.

They’re so inspiring. It’s such an amazing love story.

I put my hand over my mouth.

This is the story.

This is the story I’ve been looking to write for my entire life.

This is the one I’m supposed to write.

Because every time I sit down to pen the great American novel, I’m not writing what I know. I’m writing what I think people want to read. I think too much about trends or what’s missing in the world.

When what I know is love. The love between my dads that grew and grew, and then created more love, and then that love got shown to Declan and me, and my kids, and his kids.

What have I been thinking when I have such an incredible story, a lot of it already written down? Just waiting for me to piece it together and make it cohesive. And even if it doesn’t get published, I can give it to them for their 50th wedding anniversary.

And I know just where to begin.

_Kurt is in the basement of the English building when he hears a familiar tune._


End file.
